I wish there was another as beautiful as I. Then I wouldn't have to spend so much time in front of the mirror admiring my own rakish smile and disarmingly foppish hair. I wouldn't have to stand here caressing my beautiful taut buttocks and slowly dragging a moist fingertip up the crease of my own inner thigh. Someone else would be able to appreciate me. Oh yes, this is how I was meant to be. A pity no-one else has seen my splendid form in a while. But then again, I'm all I really need.
Just me, myself and I.