My khsecretsanta Christmas gift to fulgur-temper from tumblr. Hope you like it! :)
This takes place on the day Xion challenges Roxas at the Twilight Town clocktower.
green walls and ice cream
She peered closely at the mirror, combing gloved fingers through black hair and pinching her own cheeks. The silly sight of it made her laugh, but only for a moment.
Her head throbbed. She could feel it – the thrum of whatever they had made her with just calling to her. For now, she could overcome it. After all, the fact that "she" existed was an anomaly that had overcome her initial programming. Xemnas thought she hadn't heard when he gave her the order to proceed, but she did. He called it a sense of identity. Something a mere puppet shouldn't possess.
"A mere puppet," she murmured, standing back and looking at her own features which, she guessed, weren't even her own.
Xion took a deep breath and shook the thoughts from her mind. There was no point in going through this again. She had to do it, but she still had time.
What would Roxas and Axel do?
Fight? Give in? She loved them so much, but these days it felt like she didn't even know them.
No. They were her friends. They would say...
Relax.
She had a grin on her face before she even knew it. Of course they would say that. Lazybones to the end, right? But no matter what Demyx said, slacking off felt like...a group activity. Or at least something to do with friends.
"Yeah," she told herself, then squared her shoulders and spoke more loudly. "Yeah. With friends."
But she couldn't ask either of them. Axel brought her back for a reason, and she was afraid that she – or whatever she was now – would overcome her if she saw Roxas now. Maybe...other friends? But who else could possibly see her like they did?
"Naminé, can you see my face?"
"Yes."
Xion blinked at the memory. She couldn't believe that was just yesterday.
Well, she guessed it was worth a shot. They hadn't really said goodbye under the best of circumstances. Didn't she at least owe her that?
Naminé sat in the mansion's empty, white room, staring at her sketchbook. There was still so much to chain together, but everything that happened had stalled her progress. For a time, she thought she might resent the creature that made undoing all her own work even more difficult – but that wasn't right. That girl hadn't even known the threat she posed.
Yesterday, when they had finally met... More than just the face they shared, Naminé felt an inexplicable kinship with her. Was it the part they played in Sora's slumber? Or maybe she simply liked to think that she was connected to the girl and her friends by something more than what she had on paper. Something like what their trio had on the tower...
She sighed. Now that could never happen.
"Naminé?"
The girl whirled in her seat. Behind her, a Corridor burst open to reveal a dark-robed girl.
"Xion," she gasped, standing and reaching for her arm. "You're all right. Yesterday, I thought..."
Xion nodded, lips set in a line. "I don't have much time," she replied, glancing away. "They've been planning this for a long time. If I go along with it, I...think I can stop them. But I would still have to..."
Naminé dropped her grip on the girl. What was she doing? "I'm sorry," she murmured. Instinctively, she clasped her hands together over her chest instead. "I know it must've been a difficult decision."
A silence passed them. Now that Xion was set on returning, what else could she say?
"Naminé—"
"Xion—"
"Go ahead," insisted Naminé.
"I was thinking that – it's silly, I know, but... I thought maybe I could go see other worlds I only ever saw on missions before. And... I was hoping to do it with a friend." Xion lifted her gaze to meet hers. "And I thought that since you could see my face, then maybe you might want to go. It's just for a little while. ...Oh, but only if you want to," she added quickly. "I know that, um, old man doesn't like me."
Naminé blinked in surprise. Of all people, she hadn't expected Xion to choose her—she had spoken even more with Riku, after all— but with the uncertain look on Xion's face, it didn't take long for her to make a decision. She smiled. "I'd love to, Xion. I'm sure they won't notice me gone for too long."
Xion's grin was something Naminé didn't remember ever having seen on her own face. It made her want...
"Great!" Xion clapped once, interrupting her thoughts. "Where do you want to go first?"
"Um..." Naminé's brows furrowed. Helplessly, she turned to the pieces of paper decorating the room. "How about that one?" She pointed to the drawing to her left, stuck high above them with a tack. Riku had done that, to DiZ's dismay – it was a place covered in land she'd only ever seen in memories and illusions.
Xion stood next to the wall, tiptoeing to see the photo. "Sand? Oh!" Nodding, she walked toward her Corridor and looked back. She looked confused at the blonde's hesitation. "...Naminé?" She offered a hand out with a hopeful smile. "It'll be safe, I promise. You can trust me."
What Naminé had said about the others not noticing her disappearance was a lie. DiZ kept strict tabs on her, but ... it was Xion's last morning. She glanced back at her room. She would be back in no time, and it would be as if none of it had even happened. And if she was being truthful, she guessed she wanted to go, too.
Turning to Xion, she smiled and took her hand. "Okay."
"Sand..." Naminé breathed, burying her arms in the stuff and letting it slip from her palms when she lifted them. "I can't believe this is what it feels like!"
Xion had led her to the area far from the city of Agrabah and close the Cave of Wonders to avoid being seen by the locals. It was free of Heartless for the moment, and the sun was setting over the shifting sand dunes now, so it was a little cooler. Tearing her gaze from the sky, she smiled, crossing her legs beneath her as she sat. She removed her gloves slowly, like she wasn't quite used to seeing her own hands outside. "You know, I guess I've never thought of doing this."
Naminé paused, looking almost sheepish. "I'm sorry. I must seem very simple."
"No, no!" Xion laughed, coping her movements. "I wish I'd thought of doing it before. I bet it's even better around water. Or maybe I just think that way because of...him?"
Now Naminé froze for a different reason. "Xion—"
"I'm kidding!" her companion defused with another chuckle, and threw sand at Naminé's sandals.
Toes wriggling at the odd sensation, she gasped. "Xion!"
"I guess that only works with snow," Xion muttered, tapping her chin, then yelped at the helping of sand tossed at her coat. "Hey!"
Naminé's eyes widened. Wasn't that the right thing to do? But before she could apologize, laughter pierced the air—it took a moment to realize that it was hers. She didn't know how, but that sent Xion into her own fit of giggles, too, and it seemed like forever when they finally calmed down.
"So," Xion said once they regained their composure, turning to the lion's head looming over them, "do you want to see the Cave of Wonders?"
"Xion, look!"
Naminé's voice skirted to her from around Ben until Naminé herself did, vigorously waving her hands with her arms outstretched. After taking her to the Land of Dragons to see proper snow, Xion thought the summer heat of this world seemed like a good idea. It was just their luck that Tinkerbell had been sitting around waiting on that huge clocktower they called Big Ben as the day began to give way to night.
"I can fly! I can't believe it! I mean..." Naminé made a funny face as she gave it some thought. "I do?"
"You can fly!" Xion cheered. Next to her, Tinkerbell covered her mouth and snickered.
Naminé glanced between the two of them, hand-flapping slowing. "What...?"
"She says you don't have to flick your wrists like that. Believing is good enough."
The blonde dropped her arms at once, face flush with embarrassment. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"You looked so cute," Xion beamed. Naminé thought to scoff, but she was too happy to even feign indignation. She laughed, too, flitting over to the two and challenging them to race to the top of the tower. For some reason, it made her even giddier to see Xion giving chase.
Back at Twilight Town, a man wrapped in red crossed his arms at a boy who concealed his eyes with a strip of dark cloth. "Where is she?"
The boy shook his head. "Took a break, maybe?"
"What?" he hissed. "Now is not the time for such a thing!"
"Let her," said the boy, standing his ground. "She never really rests."
"She is a Nobody. She hardly needs it."
"I guess," the boy ventured a shrug. But whether or not Naminé needed it, she deserved it. Xion, too. He knew it couldn't be long now.
The old man sighed irritably at his non-answer. "Do you wish for Sora's memories to stay incomplete for the sake of a little rest?"
The boy stared at him before turning away. "...I'm going to go track down Roxas. If you really want to find her, be my guest."
Beneath a castle wreathed with vines lay labyrinthine gardens set with perfectly trimmed hedges and foliage the likes of which Naminé could never have imagined. Above, dusk had set a blanket of colors streaming through the sky. It was a good way to end their travels, Xion thought. After the jungles and tea parties and coliseums they had visited, they could actually relax here. She had always found the fountains pretty, too. Sitting at the edge of the one farthest from the castle itself, she dipped her bare hands into the cool water.
"What is this place?" asked Naminé, perched silently beside her as she looked up at the castle.
"It's the home of a beast protecting a rose," said Xion, following her gaze. "I remember him...or someone else does, I guess. Roxas told me he was cursed. When the last rose petal falls, the curse will be permanent. He doesn't have much time left."
Naminé glanced over at her friend. "Xion..."
Xion smiled, eyes glued to the castle gargoyles. "Did you know that his servants are cursed to look like furniture? One of them is a candelabrum. And one of them is a clock. A tiny grandfather clock. Roxas said—"
Naminé didn't interrupt Xion, but the dark-robed girl's words fell away when she felt another hand clasp hers on the cold marble. When Naminé squeezed, Xion finally met her gaze.
The way the blonde looked at her – it was like she knew. And didn't she? Know everything, that was. Or it felt like she did. It hadn't even been a day, but she knew Naminé understood what it was like to be trapped, to be forced to follow a narrow path that led only to a precipice.
Xion sighed. "I just can't believe it."
Naminé looked away first. There was something in Xion's eyes that was too heavy, even for her. She was only too relieved that she hadn't shaken her hand away. "...Can't believe what?"
"Twilight," she chuckled dryly. "Every world we've gone to today—it was twilight. I guess I'm just meant to go back there and finish it. Everything else just feels like...waiting. I guess I've always felt that way and I just didn't know until now. Do you feel like that, too?"
"...Not always."
Xion looked surprised.
"This morning," Naminé began to explain. "When you asked me to go with you? That was the one time I felt like I had a choice," she said, and punctuated with a small shrug. She hoped it seemed less pitiful that way. "Before that, my answer would have been different. It did feel like just waiting all the time – for orders."
"Oh." Xion didn't realize that she'd inched closer. "Then it's the same for me. I love my friends and I will always cherish the time I spent with them. This is just – well..." She found herself scratching the back of her head the way she remembered Axel doing out of embarrassment. "You were the first one, too. Who asked me what I wanted to do, I mean."
Naminé gave a doleful smile, and Xion felt – pain. They told her long ago that she didn't have a heart, but she refused to think that was true now. Her chest felt heavy seeing Naminé's expression, and it was almost too much to bear.
"Hey," she gave a cheerier smile. "You know how they say we're not supposed to exist? Well, if we're not, and we don't have a real purpose... Don't you think we should be allowed to make our own?"
Naminé's smile fell.
"I know—" Xion assured her. "I know we belong to someone else... But what if we didn't?"
And then, finally, Naminé did understand. Xion's tone wasn't one of rebellion. It was one of resignation. She had known it from the beginning, but she'd hoped...
No. It didn't really matter now what she'd hoped then.
Xion's grin was something Naminé didn't remember ever having seen on her own face. She herself had smiled for Sora, been happy when he'd protected her and called her a friend, but this was different. Xion's smile that morning had given her inexplicable joy – and now it tore at her heart, or whatever it was that made her feel that way.
It made her want Xion to stay.
The thought hurt her more than she thought it should. "What would you do then?"
"Everything," Xion sighed. "Definitely eat a lot of ice cream, for one! And more often, since I wouldn't have missions. What about you?"
"Hmm..." Naminé lifted her free hand to tap at her lower lip. "Live somewhere else."
"Really? Where?"
"I'm not sure," Naminé murmured. "But certainly not anywhere with white walls."
Xion hummed. "Oh, me, too. The Castle is just like that."
"So is my room," grinned Naminé. "I want someplace with a splash of color."
"Maybe green," Xion wondered aloud.
"Yes!" Naminé laughed. "All the shades of green. Beautiful."
"We could live together!" Xion exclaimed, and then blushed upon realizing her own words. "I mean, only if you want to."
Naminé fought to school her expression into one less oddly elated than she felt. "I would. I think it would be... perfect."
"I think so, too. We'd eat a lot of ice cream and...have summer vacation, and go to the beach!"
"The beach?"
"Uh-huh. I want to make my own memories of that. No borrowed ones. And just...memories of doing what normal people do altogether."
"Yes!" Naminé laughed. "A lot of that."
"Definitely."
Neither of them knew when exactly the other had stopped talking and they were only smiling at each other, but it was Xion who looked away first.
It was no longer something she could ignore. She had tried to, all day, and for a time she thought that it might have left her as she spent more time with Naminé. But the feeling had only grown – the power, the siren call of her true purpose – it summoned her now.
"Naminé?"
"Yes?"
Xion ignored the thing beating wildly in her chest as Naminé's eyes met hers again. "He doesn't know it, but Roxas is waiting for me in Twilight Town. Don't... Don't watch, all right? Even if you can't remember... I want this to be the last time. So that maybe... for me, wherever I will be, I can think that it ended the way we wanted it to. With green walls and ice cream, and with Axel and Roxas, too. And then... please watch over them."
Naminé's grip on her hand tightened. It should have been painful, but to Xion's surprise, it gave her comfort.
"Okay."
Later, Naminé couldn't help it. She didn't even know who she was. Cradled in Roxas's arms, the dark-robed girl was fading away. Only her smile felt familiar to her.
Naminé didn't even know who she was, and that was why she wept.
"We...did it!"
"Ven!"
"We're all here!"
"This is wonderful!"
"Gawrsh, is it finally over?"
"Yeah!"
"And that's the power of the Keyblade!"
"Ugh..."
"What? It is!"
The girl tried to blink off the black splotches in her vision. Everything sounded far away, like a hundred murmuring Dusks undulating around her and keeping her from everyone else. Where was she? The voices outside her little bubble were overwhelming, and the deafening noise of so many around her was almost frightening – until it all came rushing back, and everything was clear.
The wave of emotion and memories and feeling and everything filled her, and Xion opened her eyes to a world filled with friends and strangers shaking hands, embracing, and cheering in triumph.
She clutched at her throat curiously. Was she really here? "I'm..."
"Xion!"
Before she could even turn, she felt two arms scoop her up and spin her in the air.
"Axel, put her down!"
"Axel! Roxas!" she cried, bursting into laughter as the former finally dropped her onto her feet. The two buried her in a bone-crushing hug, laughing and talking at her all at once.
"Told you I'd get my friends back!" the redhead winked. "And uh, actually, it's Lea now."
"Lea?" Roxas quirked a brow. "We have to get that memorized all over again? What a pain."
"Yeah," Xion crossed her arms alongside him. "Sounds like an icky job."
"Eh," Lea shrugged. "Bound to be if we're always eating ice cream!" With that and a flourish, he switched out three WINNER sticks and held them over the two.
Roxas snatched one. "You've been saving these?"
"Well, one was yours," he shrugged. "Had to get two more for me and Xion, but I didn't mind." Roxas made another face, but couldn't help the mirth forming on his features. That was a shocker in and of itself – so when Xion made no move to take it, standing there with a blank look on her face, Lea was concerned.
"...Hey, Xion, don't you want yours?"
"Uh...yeah," she nodded, smiling for them as she took her WINNER stick. "Thanks, Axel. I mean, Lea. I can't wait to eat ice cream with you two again."
Lea and Roxas exchanged knowing looks. The latter peered at her and asked, "Something eating you?"
She had always been fairly subdued compared to the two of them, so why did this feel weird? As soon as Lea mentioned eating ice cream... She'd thought of green walls.
Green walls and ice cream.
Roxas clamped an arm on her shoulder. "Xion—"
"Guys!"
Before he could continue, Sora appeared next to Lea, rocking on his heels. "Hi," he greeted Xion. For some reason, she felt like they'd already met and spoken and fought together, but she shook it off and gave him a smile in acknowledgment. "Anyway, my mom says we can all have dinner at our place! Don't miss it!"
"Yeah, not again," Riku jabbed, coming up next to him. He gave Xion a startled but welcoming smile.
"That was one time," Sora muttered, but perked up not a second later. "Okay, so Kairi already went ahead with Aqua and Donald and the others. Roxas, come on! You haven't met Ven!"
Roxas blinked at his arm being grabbed, glancing back at a laughing Lea and a confused Xion. "Uh—"
"You guys go ahead," the girl smiled. "I just have something I have to take care of."
Reluctantly and after more prodding from her, Lea trailed after Sora and Roxas. Riku gave Xion another smile – a little more awkward now that they were alone – but she called out to him before he could turn to leave. "Riku, wait."
He turned back with a questioning glance. "Xion... It's good to see you. Listen—"
"It's okay." She knew at once what he meant to say. Xion hadn't resented him when she disappeared before, and she still didn't. All that mattered was that neither of them was a Nobody anymore. "I just wanted to ask – have you seen Naminé?"
Riku looked both grateful and thoughtful at that. "Come to think of it... She was at the beach. But I haven't seen her since we moved into the town square—Xion?"
"Thanks, Riku!" Waving her gratitude over her shoulder, she was off, following the sound of the waves.
"Are you sure you wanna stay behind, Naminé?"
Naminé turned to smile at Kairi. "Yes. I've just...never been to a real beach, that's all. I'll catch up, okay? Please don't worry about me."
Nodding, Kairi gave her arm a pat and left to follow the others. Naminé was always thankful for her concern, but this wasn't something she could understand. Kairi had forgotten Sora, too, but they had always been friends. They had a lifetime of memories to fall back on with Riku. She, on the other hand, was only one day in Xion's existence. It meant the world to Naminé now that it had all come back to her, but...
What if Xion had forgotten?
For all her power, she had no real understanding of Xion's nature past the way she had once held onto a fragment of Sora's memories. Now that neither of them belonged to anyone, which memories did she keep? Could she have lost the memories she'd made the day of her return to Sora?
"Hi."
She hadn't noticed the steps digging into the sand behind her, slowing as she whirled. "Hi," she breathed, trying to still her heart. Carefully, she said, "I'm Naminé."
Xion was confused. Had she...? Axel and Roxas and Riku remembered, so she'd been sure...
"I'm Xion," she answered with the same uncertain inflection. Her gaze shifted to the waves. After all this time, seeing that look on Naminé's face still made her heart heavy. Heavy and light at the same time, actually. Her heart was beating much too quickly for her liking. Clearing her throat, she ventured, "The beach, huh? It's even more beautiful than I remember."
"You have memories of a beach?" asked Naminé, gaze never leaving her.
"Sort of," Xion sighed, and they were silent for a long time. It was now or never, she guessed. She thought it had been meeting Roxas at the clocktower, but it hadn't been that. Until now, she felt like she was still waiting for something. Licking her lips, she murmured, "Naminé, can I ask you a question?"
The girl sucked in a breath. "Hmm?"
Finally, Xion turned to her. "What do you think of green walls and ice cream?"
Searching her eyes, Naminé knew she couldn't possibly be mistaken now. Try as she might, she couldn't look away. "...I think it would be perfect."
"And beaches?"
Before Xion could understand what was happening, Naminé's face scrunched up, chest heaving and shoulders shaking, and burst into tears.
"Naminé!" Xion gasped, drawing close as the girl covered her eyes with her hands.
"And everything else normal people do," Naminé finished, smiling through wet palms and a shaking voice.
Xion's laughter was filled with relief and her own tears as she pulled Naminé close, wiping her tears with her gloves and arms curling around her waist in a tight embrace. "Naminé, I thought you'd forgotten me!"
Pulling away only to lift her hands, Naminé thumbed at Xion's cheek. "After a day like that? Never."
Xion couldn't muster a reply. All she could hear was her heart beating in her ears. Was the heart even supposed to do that?
Naminé made no resistance when her arms pulled her closer. It felt only natural when she slid a finger beneath Xion's face and tilted her chin up. Her face only a breath away, Naminé paused to murmur, "...only if you want to."
"Mmhmm."
Gently, Xion leaned forward and pressed her lips against hers. Naminé returned it wholeheartedly and felt the girl's grip relax around her.
Neither of them knew exactly how much time had passed, but it didn't matter so much anymore.
Long after they parted, it was Naminé who broke the silence. "Sora's mom invited everyone over for dinner."
Xion nodded and looked to the waves. "I guess we should go," she said, removing her gloves and reaching for Naminé's hand. "It's nighttime."
Naminé glanced up at the evening sky. She hadn't even noticed. Giving her hand a squeeze, she smiled. "Okay."
Xion's grin was something Naminé didn't remember ever having seen on her own face.
It made her want forever.
The end! Or, more accurately, how-i-wish-kh3-would-end. I know it's totally a stretch to have them like each other within like half a day, but idk? Xion was lonely and about to disappear and Naminé's always been lonely, and similar circumstances and everything... Connections were made. I hope it makes sense!
I have a headcanon that for all her wisdom post-CoM, Naminé has still never really had 'normal fun,' since she's had to act like an adult to deal with DiZ, and I doubt she and Riku were of the habit of playing even board games. So there goes her own uncertainty when it comes to actually doing non-Sora-related activities. As for them getting Tinkerbell's help to fly... Let's just assume Roxas actually did get to tell Xion all about it and took her there too at some point between missions and settling back at the Twilight Town clocktower. Not to mention maybe Tinkerbell just recognized Kairi's face when they saved her, even if she doesn't remember Sora. ? Liberties. I have taken liberties. There.
Happy holidays, fulgur-temper! You have converted me into a Namishi shipper. HAHAHA. I hope your projects went well and that your thesis is going asap! (As smoothly as possible) :D