Lily sobbed. She cried hard into the night. She wrapped herself in the blood stained sheets. It was her only comfort. She was all alone. Ashley had chosen Lily's brother just after school had ended. Lily
died inside.
The girl clutched the spot on her body where her heart should be. She felt no rhythms below her palm. Was there no beat? Or was she just numb? Maybe both.
She dragged the metallic object across her body. She felt no pain as it dug deeply into her flesh. Silent tears streamed down her cheeks. What once was her release of pain stopped hurting the way she liked. Numbness. Soulless.
"I'm dead," she whispered. "Dead," she repeated. It was her voice that passed her lips, but it didn't sound like her. She sounded hollow when she spoke.
The night slowly turned into a dawn, and the blood was dried on her body. Her thighs and her chest, she had gotten smart enough to stop doing it places people would notice. She was still awake when the sun peeked over the horizon. The sunrise was pink. She thought of the old sailor's rhyme she had heard from her mother a long time ago: "Pink sky at night, sailor's delight. Pink sky in morning, sailor's warning."
'Bloody perfect,' she thought, 'rain.' Then she turned over.
"Fucking hell," she murmured at the notice of her tainted white sheets. She begrudgingly stripped her bed. She liked to clean them the old fashioned way.
Her father was a collector of artifacts, so she went out to his shed and filled the wash basin with soap and water. She dropped in the stained sheets and scrubbed them against the washboard, slowly working out rust color. After she was done she did a quick drying charm and returned to her bedroom, careful not to make the wooden stairs creak. She put the sheets back on the mattress and made up the rest of the bed.
Her next stop was the bathroom. She turned the knobs and let the water start to get hot. She then turned the knob that made the shower head spit out water. She pulled her white tank top over her head; small dried Redish brown flecks fell to the tile. Down came her Light brown and green cotton shorts as well, no panties. Never panties to bed.
She smiled at the fact that she had failed to get any blood on her night clothes. 'Cutting the nude is always best. Like a sexual experience, only less gratifying. Or just gratifying in a different way,' she thought. Not that she had much experience in sex. Never actually had sex with anyone. Never came with anyone, and rarely, if at all, with herself.
She laughed. 'Sexually gratifying?'
"No," she said aloud as she stepped into the warm water. It was quick to dampen her Brown hairs. Her hair slicked back easily. She watched the Redish brown swirl down the drain, as she lathered soap on her body. She paused as her hand reached the tuft of hair that was above the junction between her legs. She thought for a moment about touching herself, but decided against it. She couldn't right now. Granted, she was the only one home at the moment, just a little wouldn't hurt, except if she didn't finish she would be very horny the rest of the day, and Ashley was supposed to be there in a few hours. She would have a hard time entertaining if all she could think about was her crotch. She decided against it and continued with her shower.
Five minutes later she turned the water off and stepped out of the shower.
Marcus and Ashley were due at the Burrow that morning. Chris wouldn't be there for their arrival, because he wasn't expected home until August 31. He was visiting Ryan in Egypt, for the first half of the summer holiday, and Charles in Russia, for the second. It had just been tradition for them to come. Marcus was pretty good friends with Lily, so it wasn't going to be so bad. Ashley and Lily had a little bit of a falling out, just before the summer. For that pair, it would prove to be quite interesting.
She thought about Ashley as she toweled off her body. They had had a small fling. Not even a fling, really. They found comfort in one another, but then one day Ashley told Lily that it wasn't working. Ashley had decided that Chris was a better candidate. They hadn't exchanged words since that day. Ashley had been very hurt. Therefore, she found solace in her razors. A twang of pain shot through her body as the towel went over the injured flesh.
"Shit," she seethed, through gritted teeth.
Her and Marcus had kept in touch over the holiday. They had been Instant messaging back and forth. Ashley had been telling Marcus how wonderful she thought Ashley was. Nothing but nice things, always nice things. He had smiled and agreed. He had no idea the things that had gone on. Or he did, but never told Lil that he knew.
She finished drying off and put her hair up in a wet, messy bun. She wrapped herself in her pink towel and walked into her bedroom. She searched her dresser and closet for something to wear.
"Why do I have to be so damn poor!? I have no clothes that are MINE. Hand me down from aunts, mom, grandma, and... and ." Then she laughed. Charles. He was her favorite brother. Mostly because they had something in common. They could talk to one another better than the others. She liked his clothes too
She decided on one of Charles old ACDC shirts. Not ruffled at all, just plain black cotton that tightened up the chest. It was very undersized on Charlie, which made it fit Lily nearly perfectly, accentuating her slender, slightly curved form. Then she chose an old pair of his boot cut jeans. They were faded blue, with a hole in the knee. They were sort of tight on her butt, but sagged a bit, just the way she liked. Happy with how she looked she sat on her bed and read for a while.
There was a loud crash from the kitchen, and the squawking of a parrot. Marcus had arrived. Lily plastered on a fake smile and sprinted down the stairs, jumping the last few steps into the kitchen.
"Marcus!" She exclaimed. "Oh my gosh, it's so good to see you!"
She ran to him and gave him a hug.
"It's good to see you too Marcus." He smiled. She seemed happy enough to him.
She gave him a sloppy kiss on his cheek, which was covered in soot. She stepped back to look at him. His hair, still an unruly mess of jet black hair. His eyes were still beautiful emerald. He looked nice. His clothes fitted him better. Maybe the Dursleys had been feeding the poor boy better in these later years. He looked a bit disheveled though, probably from floo travel.
He grinned. "So, Lil, you fancy me again or something?"
She playfully pushed him.
"Ah, so I see you still like Ashley, eh?" he teased on.
"Of course," she said shyly and honestly. "Sit down, please. Mother would have made you had she been here. She is shopping in Diagon Alley, so she won't be home until this afternoon. Meaning I am run of the house." A mischievous grin passed her features. "Would you like something to drink?" Before he answered she fetched him a glass.
He sat down and she poured him some lemonade. "How are you really, Lil?"
She sighed and her face fell a bit. She sat down across from him. "I'm fine. I mean no. I don't know."
He reached across ad put his massive paw over her smaller hand. "It'll be alright. I'm here okay? I am almost positive that things will be okay."
"Alright."
There was a crash, and the pair at the kitchen table jumped.
Ashley was sprawled on the floor, obviously quite shaken. Marcus helped her up. She smiled when she realized who it was.
"Oh my! Marcus!" she squealed. "I've missed you. Have those nasty people been treating you well?"
"Hello," he released her from his massive bear hug. "I am doing just perfect. How are you doing?"
"Great!" she said excitedly. Then she noticed the young Redish brown head standing awkwardly near the table. Her tone changed. It was now quieter, "Hi Lil." She stepped back from Marcus.
She still had those big chocolate eyes. Like puppies have. And her hair was still bushy and brown, but a little tamer. She had the body of a woman, but was still a good six inches shorter than Lily. She always wore green, black or brown muggle shirts, and tight girl's jeans. Or short skirts, that were really quite flattering to her bottom. On that particular day she was wearing a long sleeved brown shirt and a short pink skirt. Flattering indeed.
"Hello," Lily spoke quietly. "Would you like some lemonade?"
Ashley didn't look Lily in the eyes. "No thank you, dear."
"Okay. Then do you two want to get settled?" She inquired.
"Yes," Marcus cut into the tension, "Let's."
Lily lead them up the stairs. "Marcus, you are in Chris's room. If its awkward sleeping there when he isn't here you can stay in Charles room, if you so desire."
"Mmkay. Thanks Lil." He pulled his trunk into Charles room. There was just a bed. He had moved out long ago.
"Ashley, my mother said you should stay with me, but I asked Percy, and if you think it would be too weird, you can sleep in his room.
"No, no that's fine," she replied rather nervously.
This was the girl she sat up late with laughing and telling stupid stories. This was the girl that kissed her on the Basket ball pitch in the middle of winter. This was the girl that haunted her dreams. This was the girl who left her.
Marcus came in as the girls were getting settled. He crawled onto Lily's rather large bed and opened up the magazine laying there. It was some French fashion magazine. The page that he had opened to had A really hot girl pictured upon it,
"I would never have guessed," Marcus said sarcastically to himself.
It began to rain, so they couldn't go out that afternoon. Molly had returned home some time after the rain began. She had been cooking while Ashley had reread Lost of for the millionth time and Marcus taught Lily how to play Speed a card game. A very uneventful afternoon.
After supper they all retired to their rooms. Ashley crawled in bed next to Lily. She soon fell asleep and curled next to the younger witch, just like she used to. The Light brown haired witch felt whole again. The hollow spot filled a little. She knew it would be empty again when the brunette woke up.
She slowly slipped out of bed and away to the bathroom, unnoticed. She sat on the toilet and examined her razor blade. There was still blood on it from the night before. She took her clothes off and stood in front of the mirror that was on the back of the closed door.
"Look at you. You are nothing. No one loves you," she whispered to herself and began to cry, Green eyes looking darkly back at herself. She took the razor and made several clean cuts across her abdomen, some intersecting or going over old scars from many nights in front of that mirror. She did not wince. She did not feel like she was doing it. It was almost like it wasn't her doing it. She laughed at herself. The leaned against the wall and slid down so she was sitting on the floor. She couldn't tell if she was laughing or crying anymore. She then blacked out.
When she awoke she took some bath tissue to stick on the wounds and redressed. She slipped back into bed and lay for another hour or so, feeling herself bleed and fell asleep to the throbbing.
Chapter 2
Lily awoke early from the worst sleep of her life. She would be lying in bed and black out, then her vision would fade back in. She tossed and turned. She finally decided to get up after a few hours. It took her a few minutes to figure out who had the kung fu death grip in her arm. It was Ashley, cuddling her in her sleep.
'Old habits die hard, don't they baby?' she said to Ashley without speaking. A small smile spread across her lips while she was looking at the sleeping beauty next to her. Her mouth was puffy and pink, and it was slightly parted where her lips were supposed to meet. Her light dusting of freckles was quite attractive, unlike her own. She looked quite peaceful, sans her furrowed brow. It was always furrowed in thought, concern, or something of the sort. She already had worry marks between her eyebrows at the young age of seventeen.
She crawled over the sleeping Ashley attempting not to disturb her. Lily paced around her room for a while, avoiding as many creaky boards as possible. She was contemplating taking a shower to get the blood off. No, not this morning. She turned away from Ashley's sleeping form and faced her mirror that was next to her dresser. She slowly took her clothes off piece by piece. When she was finally nude she grabbed a pair of knickers from the top drawer and put them on, as well as a bra. She then peeled off the bath tissue that was sticking to her abdomen. She cringed as she felt it pull away from the wounds.
She walked over to the waste basket and threw it away. She then realized something was wrong. The air felt thick. She glanced where she expected to see a sleeping Ashley, only to find her awake. There were tears in her eyes. She stood up and walked over to Lily. Lily tried not to cry, but her eyes disobeyed and a few tears fell.
"Good gods Lily. What have you done to yourself?" She asked very concernedly, brow furrowed, of course.
The Redish brown head didn't say a word. Silent tears fell from her eyes. 'She wasn't supposed to see me this way.'
Ashley's hands grazed over the scars on the younger girl's arms and her stomach. Then the met the wounds, which were Redish brown around them. "We need to clean you up."
"Don't." Lily bit her lip. "Please."
"Can we talk then? Please. I want to know why." Ashley's tears finally came one at a time, falling to the floor.
Lily, still in her knickers went and sat on the bed, with her back against the wall.
Ashley took a spot next to her and held her hand. She examined the scars on the wrist that was attached the hand to the arm.
"Never would have guessed, huh?" Lily said sarcastically.
"No, I never would have thought. Oh honey." She squeezed the younger girl's hand tightly. She searched desperately to catch a glimpse of Green eyes, but failed.
"I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I just get so upset at night, because I know I'm alone, and I can't do anything about it." She put her head down and mumbled under her breath, "Sometimes it feels like it will always be that way."
"But Lily, I'm here now," Ashley attempted to reassure her young friend.
The Light brown haired witch scoffed and her eyes gathered tears within them. She shook her head and crawled off the bed. "I know you are trying, but you aren't helping." She pulled on the pants from yesterday, Charles, with the hole in the knee, "What were you watching me for anyways?" and her mother's cousin's old black tee shirt. "I'm going to go for a walk. Talk to you later, 'Lil." With that she stormed out of the room, leaving a very confused witch behind her.
Ashley got dressed as well. She decided to be clad in tight blue jeans and a small green sweater. She went into the bathroom, washed her face and brushed her teeth. Then she descended the stairs to the kitchen, where Marcus was busy at the stove and Mrs. was next to him, teaching him how to cook the pancakes properly.
"Now Marcus, you will find that women love a man that can cook -- flip it now! Quick, before it gets over done!"
Ashley tapped Marcus, who automatically said; "She's outside."
"Thanks." She pushed open the door and stepped out into the morning sun. The ground was still wet from the rain the day before. Drops of water dampened her bare feet as she walked through the grass. She walked until she reached the top of the hill in the back yard. She spotted Lily at the bottom of the hollow. She was lying on her back with her eyes closed. She slowly walked down to the younger girl and sat down.
Lily opened her eyes. She studied Ashley's worried face for a moment. "What do you want?"
There was a long silence before Ashley spoke. Then every things just sort of came out. "I don't know what I want, and I'm sorry it drove you to this," she lifted Lily's arm and brushed her fingers over the scars.
Lily tugged her arm away "Don't flatter yourself," she sat up and stared with hard Light brown eyes. Light brown and green, because she was upset.
Ashley got angry as well, "Damn it Lily. I am only trying to apologize. You don't always need to be such a Ass! I know I hurt you, but you don't have to keep being so damn hostile."
Lily stood up, "I think I have every right to be hostile! You left me for my brother."
"Please sit down. Stop yelling. This isn't the way I wanted this to happen," the brunette said in a quieter tone. She took the Redish brown head's hand and tugged it, motioning her to join her on the grass.
Lily sat, facing Ashley, but did not speak.
"You're right. I did leave you, but when I saw you yesterday I realized I had made a mistake. Bloody hell Lily, I still can't look at you in the eyes--," she gazed into they sea of green anyhow and sniffled, "- -I can't look you in the eyes without wanting to cry." A single tear fell down her cheek.
"Gods," Lily scooped Ashley into a warm, tight embrace.
"I messed up," she sobbed. "I miss you Lily. Falling asleep with you, last night, was probably the best feeling I've had in a long time."
Lily held the older girl until the tears subsided. Then they headed inside.
Breakfast was good. There were few burned pancakes. Overall, Marcus did a lovely job. The day passed slowly. Ashley read and Lily and Marcus played cribbage.
Lily had her eyes narrowed as she counted her cards, "Fifteen-two, fifteen-four, fifteen-six, fifteen-eight, six for a double run, and two for the pair. So that's," she pauses to add up the numbers, "sixteen."
"Try again," Marcus said
She looked at her cards. Ten, Jack, Queen, Five, and a Queen flipped.
"You forgot a point for knobs. See your jack is a diamond, and the queen that's flipped on top of the pile is a diamond. So, you have seventeen in total."
"I think I get this game." She grinned, "Ha that extra point just made me win." Then she put her peg into the last hole.
Ashley was watching the game as it ended. She hadn't really been reading. She looked at the happy look on Lily's face.
Ashley was seeing Chris, and where Chris made her happy she still wasn't content. Lily made her content. Ashley just couldn't see herself doing anything beyond talking and arguing with him, but with Lily she always thought something could happen and it wouldn't be awkward. When Chris touched her she almost wanted to laugh out loud, because it was Chris.
"Lily!" Mrs. called up the stairs.
Lily took a deep breath, "Yeah Mum!?"
Before Mrs. could answer there was a loud crack, shortly followed by another. Robert and Bob had apperated into Lily's room. The three sitting on the bed jumped. The cards spilled onto the floor, and Ashley dropped her book. A magazine, Lily's magazine, in fact, fell out of the book as it landed on the bed. Ashley hurried to pick it up so no one would notice.
"Hello there!" Robert said, pulling his sister off of the bed into a bear hug. He then passed her to Bob, who hugged her just as enthusiastically.
"Nice magazine," Bob said, grabbing it from the brunette. "Ooh, well rose is looking mighty fine these days. I wonder if Ryan is still sore about her leaving him for another model. And, when I say model, I don't mean a male model," he waggled his eyebrows at Marcus.
Marcus rolled his eyes. Lily blushed. Ashley scowled.
"Well kids," Robert started, "we come bearing gifts!"
"Anyone for some Lambs candy?" Bob asked, holding out a large paper bag, full of sugary confections.
No matter how old they got, they still smiled like children at the thought of candy.
"Oh, one more thing kids," he reached into his inside coat pocket, "this." He held out a bottle of Redish brown Current Rum and a bottle of smirnoff. "Use sparingly, and, whatever you do, don't tell mum. Agreed?" The three underage wizards nodded.
The twins were to stay for the day. They had a lunch of ham sandwiches and lemonade. After the meal they headed outdoors, where they played some two-on-two Basket ball. Ashley watched from the grass, because she never really cared for the sport. By the time the game was over, Marcus Sank the Shot, it was time for dinner. Mrs. always made a wonderful meal. There were potatoes, carrots, green beans, and chicken, lots and lots of chicken. For dessert there was strawberry shortcake. Everyone was happy and full when the twins disapperated back to their home above their joke shop.
Evening crept upon the Burrow. Marcus lay on Lily's bed watching the two girls interact. They were sitting on the floor, passing the rum back and forth. They smiled happily at one anther. There was a friendly pat, or touch here and there. He laughed as they winced when the bitter, burning sensation hit their tongue and throat.
"Wha in tha bloody hell is so funny?" Lily asked, slurring her words a bit.
"Nothing Lil, just pass that this way," he said as he grabbed the bottle out of the Light brown haired girl's hand. He examined the bottle. It was less than a third gone. "Okay girls, here is the deal; we need to make this last three more weeks, so no more tonight." He smiled, "No more after I've gotten piss drunk." He took a long swig.
Ashley brushed a stray hair out of Lily's eyes. "You look pretty."
"Thank you," she went crimson.
'Lesbians,' Marcus thought, 'I'll never understand.' He never really thought of women as very attractive. The curves are nice, but there is something about strong, square shoulders, a defined jaw line, and a nice set of abs. Like Mike's. He smiled. Mike. He had soft blonde hair and hard, Blue eyes. The girls were the only ones who knew about his little secret.
A burst of laughter shook him from his thoughts.
"What?" he asked.
"What were you thinking about, Marcus? Or should I say whom?" Ashley chuckled.
"What are you talking -- oh," Marcus blushed, and covered his erection.
"He was thinking about Mike," Lily informed the brunette.
Ashley laughed, "So wait, wait, you, want Mike?"
His eyes narrowed. "What's so funny about that?"
"You like femme-boys!" She teased.
"And you like Lily, but no one is poking fun at you about that," there was spite in his tone, "Oops, I meant to say Chris."
"So?" she inquired, slightly angered. "Maybe Lily is the most beautiful creature to walk this earth, and maybe I do like her."
Lily blushed, --"
"I'm sorry," Marcus said, "I'm out of line. Maybe I need to lay off the liquor and sleep." He stood up and walked to the door, "Night."
The girls sat quietly for a moment. Lily was itching to finish the question.
"Do you think I'm beautiful, even with the scars?"
"Look Lily," Ashley started, "I'm drunk, and I don't want to do anything to cross the line, but um--" She stood up and sat in the younger girl's lap. She perched there for a moment and finally, slowly, leaned in for a kiss. She pulled back as if she'd been burnt.
"What is it?"
"Yes, you are beautiful, even with the scars." She smiled, but suddenly got serious. "Look Lil, we can't make a habit of that. You know, kissing."
"I know," she said, almost solemnly.
That night they fell asleep in each other's arms. Lily didn't bother to get up that night.
Chapter 3
Lily's eyes fluttered open and she felt her limbs entangled in someone else's. It seems that she always forgot when she was sharing her bed with another. It was still dark. She looked at her watch. 'Three in the morning?' She groaned softly.
Ashley's sleeping form was curled into her own. Her t-shirt was riding up a little so that her skin touched Lily's midriff from the tank top. Lily had her shorts on and Ashley had gone to bed in her knickers. They stuck together with sweat where their skin touched. The younger witch attempted to enjoy the feeling, while ignoring her hangover.
The body of the older girl stirred. She opened her deep brown eyes and looked into the Blue for a while. She looked into the pain and sadness. Her hands wandered under the sheets. They caressed the damaged skin on the Redish brown-head's arms lovingly. She smiled a little.
Lily was overwhelmed by the gentle touch. She hid her Light brown with her eyelids and brushed her lips against Ashley's. The older girl tensed for a moment, but also closed her eyes and fell into the kiss. The younger girl let her tongue trail along the entrance to the other's mouth. Their tongues darted and touched quickly, but pulled back in an instant. More soft and passionate pecks followed, and mouths opened to receive again.
Breathlessly, they pulled back and looked at each other for a moment. They looked in one another's eyes and searched for answers. Wonder, lust, and question was written on their faces. They continued none the less. Their lips rejoined, and they went back to what they had been doing. Lily, feeling a bit more brave than usual, began caressing Ashley's breast though her shirt. Soft moans came from within the brunette's throat.
"Is this alright?" she asked, apprehensively.
"I don't care, Lil," Ashley said, before pulling the Light brown haired girl closer to her.
After some time had past, how much they didn't really know or care, they entangled themselves back together. Contented, they drifted off to sleep.
The girls were awoken abruptly by some intruder hopping in their bed. This time the light flooded the room. Ashley stretched. Lily pulled the comforter over her head and rolled over, whining.
"I've made omelets this morning," Marcus announced happily.
"Sounds good," Ashley yawned, "as long as they didn't turn out like your pancakes."
Lily chuckled from beneath the blankets.
"Did I hear something?" Ashley said in a playful tone.
Marcus got the hint, "Hm, I don't know. I think it came from over here!" With that he jumped on Lily and pulled off the covers.
"Good morning sleepyhead!" Ashley yelled. She then proceeded to tickle Lily, who squealed.
"Ohmahgod! No, no, no, no! Ashley!" She yelled out loud, laughing between yowls. "Please! Stop! I'm awake already!"
"You sure?" Marcus teased.
"Yes, yes! Now will ya get off?"
Ashley ceased her torture and Marcus got off. Erm, got off of Lily. Erm, never mind.
The day passed far too slow. Lily and Ashley found time alone for and hour or so, sitting in the hollow or in Lily's room. Nothing happened like the previous night, but it was as if some barrier had broken down. They were noticeably more relaxed in each other's presence, and the silence was not awkward. They quite enjoyed it.
Ashley also found time to talk to Marcus, while Lily was making lunch for them all.
"--and then we went back to sleep," Ashley finished.
"No way!" Marcus was shocked at his friend's boldness. The girl wasn't one to be so brave when it came to anything sexual. "You're telling me you snogged Lily, like hardcore and went to sleep?"
"Yep," she nodded. "It was great. I have this whole new side of me that I never knew was there. She makes me feel," she looked up, searching for the right words to say, "I don't know. It isn't awkward like with Chris. Kissing him is like kissing my brother, but kissing her is different. I'd be content kissing her until the day that I die."
"Don't lie, I know you'd be pretty happy getting into her panties too," Marcus smiled and prepared to get smacked. No blow came.
"You're right, you know," Ashley stared off into space. "I really want her."
"So you're horny, it happens. I mean, I've been lusting after Mike," Marcus scoffed. "I don't plan to shag him or anything; he just makes me a bit hot-"
"But Marcus," sounding exasperated, "this is Lily we are talking about here, not my sworn enemy. I actually like her, you know? She's funny, kind, and bloody brilliant. Not to mention stunningly beautiful." She gazed off; picturing the girl she longed for, but then realized she was being too gushy. "Besides, you're a flaming gay boy, not a straight girl who wants to jump another girl's bones."
Marcus laughed a little. "I can't decide for you, you know. If you want to take a chance with her and break up with Chris, fine. Just do what makes you happy. Do what you think is right."
Dusk fell upon the burrow. Marcus was lying on the grass with the girls in the hollow. He had a glass of Redish brown Current Rum in his hand. He smiled as he watched the chemistry in front of him. He could smell the pheromones in the air. They were waiting for him to get tired and go to bed, so they could snog, or whatever lesbian girls did. He respected that. He needed some alone time as well. Mike had preoccupied his mind all day.
"Night ladies," he said, standing and dusting himself off.
A few stars peeked into the sky. They cuddled close in the grass. Not much time had passed before the brunette looked into the Redish brown-head's blue-Light brown and green eyes, her own chocolate ones shining with much desire. They kissed, warm, passionate, and as sweet as honey. They rolled so the younger was on top and she kissed and nipped at the tender flesh of the other's neck and ear.
POV: Ashley
Your hands are on me.
I am pressing hard against your jeans.
Your tongue is in my mouth,
Trying hard to keep the words from coming out.
End POV
The older moaned with pleasure. She moved the other girl's face back to her own and kissed her hard, savoring the sweetness of her mouth. She dragged her finger nails down the other's back, causing her to arch.
POV: Lily
I'm dying, I'm dying please
I want to, I need to be
Under your skin
End POV
"Ashley," she looked pleadingly into brown eyes, "we should stop and go back to the house. It isn't that far."
"Don't you want me?" she pouted.
"Yes, of course," Lily panted.
"Then KISS me," she said forcefully, pulling other's lips back to where they should have been.
Lily pulled back, "What's going on?"
Ashley thought rationally for a moment. 'How does one present this feeling? The feeling of being totally freed, of something awakening deep inside, of feeling like you've just come home to a place you didn't think was home. How do you explain instant comfort, fear, lust, being completed? Like that I suppose, but in not so many words.'
All that ended up coming out was, "I don't know, but this is right."
They did go up to the house. They crept into the house, through the kitchen, up the stairs, down the hall, and into Lily's room.
Chapter Four
They stripped each other slowly, savoring the flesh as it was exposed. Ashley's creamy skin shined in the low light of the candles. Every one of her curves got attention. Lily traced each curve with her finger tips, taking in everything. She was memorizing how it felt, mapping it out in her head. If the opportunity were to never present itself again, she would still know every inch of that body.
Lily had pale skin. Her scars and cuts stood out. They twisted intersected up the underside part of her arms, all the way up. They littered her breasts, all the way down her ribs to her abdomen. Ashley kissed all she could find, up and down Lily's broad, square build. Her fingers trailed and caressed the scars, like brail. She was reading Lily like a book. She was reading every chapter of pain and anguish in her short lived life.
They kissed wildly. Limbs reaching and wrapping. Mouths moving quickly. Tongues darting. Their hands fevering with their actions.
They landed hard on Lily's bed. Ashley straddled the younger girl and took in the aesthetics. "You're so beautiful," she said, gazing down.
"No. I'm--"
"Shh," she leaned down and kissed Lily softly on the lips. Then she planted a trail kisses on the girls jaw line, to her ear, that she gently sucked. Then she licked down the girl's neck and lower, to her breast. She stopped with her mouth and stroked the scars with the pads of her fingers, as if rubbing them away in the most kindly fashion. Ashley replaced her fingers with her lips again.
Lily squirmed beneath those lips, sighing quite audibly. She arched her body into the girl on top of her, feeling every inch of skin. It was soft, silky, and as inviting as she imagined. She buried her fingers into Ashley's thick hair, pulling her mouth closer.
They knew exactly how to bring one another to ecstasy.
Lily was a now, now, now type of girl. Faster. Harder. Faster. Now, now, now. "Ashley," the girl pleaded, not sure what she even wanted. She just knew she wanted it then and there.
Ashley was different. She wanted it slow. She wanted to try and remember how it felt, knowing full well it would slip her mind once she reached her climax. She wanted to savor the feeling. Let it pool and bubble inside a little longer.
They curled together as they slept. Their bodies were mostly covered by the down blanket. Vital parts weren't exposed. They still had the lingering scent of sex about them. It was in their sweat and in their hair. It was a calming smell, like a good perfume, but not nearly as potent. Just as they were drifting off Lily whispered, "I love you." There was a pause. Maybe Ashley had not heard her.
A moment or two later a soft voice rang out, "I love you too."
The next morning they woke up very content. They woke up to a warm body, dressed only in their skin. That moment was perfection at its finest... All was right with the world.
When they decided to exit their cocoon there was a large amount of modesty. Lily turned over, so she couldn't see Ashley get out of bed and pick up her share of the clothe littered floor. Once she was dressed she left the room and headed across the hall to the bathroom. She brushed her hair, her teeth, and washed her face, while Lily picked up her clothes and got dressed as well.
They kissed one last time before they headed down to breakfast. It was short and sweet, but it held so much meaning.
They padded down the stairs hand in hand. They were grinning all the way into the kitchen, where they saw the person they least expected sitting at the table. Chris. They immediately dropped each others hands. Lily's stomach fell to the floor. He was back early.
He turned and his face lit up. "Ashley!" he almost yelled. He stood up and ran to her. She plastered a fake smile on her face and hugged him as he lifted her in his arms and spun once around. When he set her down her down he kissed her, right on the lips.
Lily's blood boiled. Her face slowly slipped into a shade of Redish brown. Ashley was smiling and Chris was kissing her. 'She just let him kiss her,' she thought angrily. 'Was I just a fling? A toy? Didn't it mean anything to her? Didn't she say she loved me?'
Chris looked over to Lily. "Well, aren't you happy to see me?" He gave a smile and held his arms out, ready to receive a welcome home hug from his little sister.
She put on a paste on smile too. "Of course I am. I was just giving you two a moment," the words rolled bitterly off her tongue. She walked over and gave him a stiff hug. Then he ruffled her hair a bit. 'I hate it when he does that.'
He had a big goofy grin on his face as he said, "Hey, you know, it's good to see you." He wasn't even looking at Lily. He was looking at Ashley.
"Indeed," Lily said quietly.
"Marcus, old chap!" on bustled over to Marcus, whom was helping Mrs. make the beans for Chris's favorite breakfast, beans and toast. He gave him a nice thump on the back and laughed.
"Chris, we've done our 'hellos' and 'how are yous'," Marcus said, staring into the pot, "Let me finish this before you get all rowdy, okay?"
"Fine mate, sorry about that," he said, backing away. "Merlin, you all are in some off moods."
Lily looked at Ashley with sad Light brown and green eyes. The she made her way towards the stairs, "I think I'm going to go for a shower before breakfast." She looked back once to the woman who she thought really loved her, and finished climbing the flight.
"Whatsa matter with her?" Chris asked Ashley.
Marcus looked back at her with knowing eyes.
Ashley looked at her so-called dearest, "I haven't a clue, love."
Lily made a detour to her bedroom. She opened her side table drawer and grabbed her razor blade. She walked into the bathroom and locked the door. She took off the clothes she so carefully picked out that morning. She planned to look a little more chipper, since she was. She unbuttoned the long-sleeved striped blue and white top and shrugged it off her shoulders. Then she unclasped her bra, dropping it to the floor. Then she unbuttoned an un-ripped pair of Charles pants. Finally, she pulled off her panties.
'This can't be happening to me," she thought. 'This can't be real. Ashley wouldn't do this to me."
She took the blade and slid it down her arm. Again and again. She watched the skin divide with a Redish brown liquid seeping from the incisions. She then did the same to her other arm. She watched the blood escape from the parted skin.
She realized she wasn't dreaming. Ashley was downstairs with Chris, and Lily was awake and alive, much to her disappointment.
She turned on the water and turned the knobs in order to get the right temperature for her to shower. She was about to step in when she heard someone knock on the door.
"I'm about to hop in the shower, who is it?" She called.
"It's Ashley."
Lily's eyes narrowed and blood dripped on the floor as she clenched her fists, "I don't want to speak with you. Besides, I'm naked."
"I don't care, Lil. We need to talk, now." Ashley's voice was stern and unwavering.
"Fine," she looked at the floor and swore silently at the Redish brown droplets, "How about when I get out of the shower?"
"I expect to see you in our room in five."
Lily heard Ashley's footsteps pad across the hall. She climbed into the shower and watched the Redish brown dilute and disappear in the water at her feet. She washed quickly, the soap stinging her fresh wounds. Then she scrubbed her hair until it was clean and turned the water off. She dressed her arms with bath tissue and then she dressed herself in her earlier discarded clothing.
"It's about bloody time," Ashley exclaimed when Lily entered their bedroom.
"What do you want, 'Lil?" Lily said in an angry tone.
"You," she took a few paces toward the Redish brown head and kissed her.
Lily pushed the older girl away, "What the hell, you just kissed my brother, and now you're kissing me?"
"I don't want to be with him, I want to be with you. I'm in love with you not him," Ashley was being slightly hysterical now. "You have to know that Lil, you must. I wouldn't have slept with you if I wasn't in love with you."
"Then what are you doing? Huh? You're down there pretending to be something you're not. If you love me, then love me fully, not behind a closed door. Love me without pretending you love him." With that the girl worked her way through the house and outside to the hollow. She sat looking up at the clouds until she heard footsteps behind her. She turned to see Marcus.
"You didn't stay for breakfast. Everyone is concerned," he stood for a moment then sat. He looked the girl over, "You got burned didn't you?"
She looked at him, in those emerald eyes and said, "Fuck you Marcus." Her eyes were narrowed, and her jaw set.
He was quickly offended, "Look, don't you dare get mad at me. I told her to do what she thought was right. I assumed she'd dump him first."
"Is that where she got the guts to jump me?" Lily asked in surprise.
Also surprised, "She jumped you?"
"Yeah," she grinned, but it quickly faded.
"She didn't dump him first. I thought she had more brains than to complicate things more than they already would be."
Lily shrugged. The pair sat, gazing at the clouds.
"Oh my gosh, Ashley, It was amazing. You know you and I should go and take a trip down to Egypt some time. Ever since rose left Ryan he's been lonely. I'm sure you and I can get our own hotel room," Chris smirked at his idea. "Just you, me, and a bed."
"You're a pig Chris," Ashley pushed him and stood up. "You think I'm just going to hop into bed and shag you, because I haven't seen you for two and a half months. Well screw you." She stormed out of the room.
"No Ashley! Wait," Chris then sighed. "Shit."
Ashley stomped across the lawn to the hollow.
"Would you look at that," Marcus said as she plopped down next to him. "Looks like we all had the same idea."
Ashley began to sob. "I can't do it. I can't break it off. I can't. I'm so sorry."
Marcus leaned over and whispered to Lily, "You know, crying girls really aren't my thing. I can't properly console her, would you mind?"
"Naw, go hang out with Chris, kay? I've got her."
Marcus left and Lily scooted towards Ashley and wrapped her arms around the older girl.
As Marcus strode across the yard he saw Chris looking for something that he obviously couldn't find.
"Hey mate, have you seen Ashley?" Chris said, scratching his head, messing up his Redish brown mop even further.
"Yeah, but I wouldn't go and try and console he just yet. What did you say to her?" He closed the distance between them and walked next to the confused boy.
"We were sitting and I was suggesting that we go to Egypt and get a nice hotel and such and she goes off on how I want to get into her knickers," he spat out, sounding exasperated.
"I could see where it would be implied," Marcus said thoughtfully.
Chris stood for a moment, "Lily has been being weird too. Why are the girls being so batty lately?" He looked at the dark haired boy, knowingly.
Marcus felt it was time to drop a bomb, "Go ask them yourself. They're over there, sitting in the hollow."
Chapter 5
Chris looked at Marcus quizzically and pointed to the hill at the back of the yard, "You mean the dip in the hill there?"
"Uh, yeah." He nodded.
Chris strode up the hill with purpose.
"Oh, and Chris," Marcus called. "Don't be an insensitive jerk, okay?"
"Am I ever?" The Redish brown head turned and smiled jokingly. He turned back just as he reached the hollow.
Ashley and Lily were locked in a close embrace. The older girl was crying and the younger attempting to sooth. She smoothed the brunette locks of hair until she heard the unmistakable voice of her brother.
"Lil, maybe I should talk to Ashley," he spoke to her like a child. Though, he was her superior by only a year.
Lily stood up, her height reaching that of her brother. Their freckled noses almost touching when she leaned forward, eyes fixed on his. "What did you say to her to upset her?"
He reached out, put his fingertips on her sternum, and pushed her out of his face. "This doesn't concern you, alright. Now, move aside."
"Fine," she pushed him back and sat next to Ashley, putting her hand on her thigh possessively.
"I wanted to talk to her alone," his face was getting a bit Redish brown due to frustration.
Ashley looked up at him. "She can stay," she said simply through soft tears.
He stood for a moment, not actually sure what to say.
"Merlin, Chris, will you sit down, you're making me nervous," Ashley said shakily.
He obliged. He studied them. Lily looked angry, her hand lingered on his girlfriend's knee. Ashley was quiet and distant. She was okay with the contact she was receiving from his sister. She leaned on the younger girl and stared off into the sky. He grew hot with jealousy when his eyes caught his sister's. She smiled at him, a taunting smile.
"What's going on here?" he demanded, eyeing up the situation.
Ashley was startled out of her little world and sat up. Lily looked fiercely into his eyes, "What ever do you mean?"
"I mean the touchy feely with you guys and the distance from me all morning. What gives? Are you secret lovers or something?" He sat for a moment.
Ashley delved back into the abyss of her mind, not looking at anyone. Lily stayed quiet, but her expression said much. She averted her eyes and her cheeks were tinged with pink.
He laughed and stood up, backing away. "You're kidding, right?"
No response.
"Answer me!" he shouted.
Ashley pulled her knees to her chest and started rocking back and forth. Lily stood and made sure she was between them.
"What? I can't believe you!" His arms were up and he was sounding exasperated, "How could you do this to me?"
"I'm not doing anything to you," Lily raised her voice. "It just sort of happened."
"How does it just sort of happen? Huh? 'Oops I kissed your girlfriend, oops my hand accidentally slipped into her knickers'. No Lil, it doesn't just happen." He was fuming. He shoved her hard.
She stumbled back a little, "What the fuck, Chris." She tried to throw a punch, but he gripped her forearm and she shrieked in pain. Not long after he let go, a spot of blood grew on her shirt.
"Chris, stop it!" Marcus jogged into the base of the hollow. He shoved Chris, "Just take a breath and a few steps back."
"Did you know about this?" The angry male demanded, pointing at the girls.
"I figured she'd tell you," Marcus nodded in the direction of Ashley, whom was still rocking back and forth.
Chris looked at her. She was afraid. Afraid of exactly what was happening. The yelling, stomping, pushing...
"I didn't mean to," she said in a quiet voice. She stood up and looked at them, one at a time. Marcus: fearful, protecting, kind, worrisome. Lily: upset, quiet. Chris: complete shock. After looking at them she stared off into the distance again. "You're good to me, Chris, but I'm just not in love with you. Sometimes I wonder if I ever was."
"Ashley, how can you even say that?" asked Chris, his voice quivering.
She ignored him and walked over to Lily. The younger girl's arm was bleeding excessively. The brunette rolled up the Light brown haired girl's sleeve and examined the damaged area. "You did it in the shower, didn't you," she stated simply.
Chris was flabbergasted, "What in the bloody hell happened to your arm?"
Ashley continued to sooth Lily, "We need to get you inside and bandage this up." They began walking in the direction of the house.
Marcus looked at Chris, "You were totally an insensitive jerk." Then he followed a bit behind the girls.
Chris was left to his thoughts and the Redish brown spot in the grass near where his sister had been standing just a few moments before.
--
"OW! Bloody Hell, that hurts!" Lily bellowed out and withdrew her arm from Ashley.
Ashley was sitting on Lily and putting antiseptic on her arms. "Sh, you're fine. Just one more time okay? Please, Lil."
"Fine-- Ow!" She jerked away again. "Can you just cover them already?"
Tenderly Ashley took the white linen bandages and wrapped up the younger girl's forearms. A little bit of blood and disinfectant seeped onto the fresh cloth after a few moments. "There, that should do it." Then she kissed them.
Lily examined her arms, "Thanks." She stood and turned to look at the brunette's beauty. She examined those eyes, those loving, wise eyes. "You know, you don't have to take your life apart for me."
Ashley rose from her seat. She took a pace forward. She was almost a head shorter than the girl with Light brown hair, but those eyes could still look right in, penetrating deep. She wrapped her slender arms around Lily's shoulders. "Yes, I did, because I love you. I couldnt just sit there and watch the person I love fall apart the way you were." She stepped back and took the younger girls hands in her own. She studied the white scars that twisted up Lily's feminine biceps. "Look at yourself. You've been falling apart for years and no one has come to your rescue. Don't you think it's about time?"
Lily smiled and nodded but continued apprehensively, "What about Chris?"
"We'll always be friends. Things weren't going to work out as lovers," she looked down at their intertwining fingers. "It was awkward kissing him; it was like if you were to kiss him."
Lily grimaced.
"Yeah," Ashley nodded, "it just wasn't right."
"There are loads of girls who want him," the younger girl commented.
"I know. He'll have no problem getting over me," she sounded almost disappointed when she said that.
Lily studied the older girl's features. "You okay 'Ash?"
She thought for a moment, and her brow de-furrowed itself, "I have you, of course I'm okay." She smiled and kissed her young lover.
Marcus entered the bedroom and laughed. Lily and Ashley pulled away abruptly, and then sighed in relief at the sight of the green eyed wizard. "For Merlin's sake, you girls have to be the biggest love sick puppies I have ever seen." He plopped down on the bed. "Are you doing okay?"
"Yes," Ashley nodded, "but I think I still need to talk to Chris."
"That just may be a better idea than what happened outside," he pointed out. "And, Lil, how are your arms."
"Much better, thank you," she smiled a very toothy smile. "This time it won't scar as bad."
Marcus cocked and eyebrow, "You do realize that you are in truble right? You could have hurt your self."
Lily blushed, "Well, bloody hell. I feel kind of silly. Ashley, we could have just told marcus to make my skin all better." Then she got a thoughtful look on her face as she glanced down at her arms.
"What ever you want to do. I can look a couple retreats up if you want me to" Ashley offered.
"On second thought; I'm not sure about it. I mean, it would be nice to rid myself of my anguish ridden past, but I don't want to forget any of it," Lily scoffed at herself. "I know I seem daft, but I wouldn't be me without the scars."
--
Chris sat quietly in the hollow and sparked up a fag. He inhaled the toxic substances and then exhaled through his lips. The smoke surrounded him. He thought for a while. Finally, he decided what he needed to do. He put out the orange ember at the tip of the burned down cigarette, and headed towards the house.
Chapter Six
Chris ventured into the house. He called a "Hi mum" over his shoulder as he made his way to the stairs. Marcus was coming down the stairs as Chris was going up. The paused and looked at one another for a moment. Marcus scratched the back of his neck nervously. Chris avoided looking at Marcus.
"Look mate," Marcus began cautiously, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
Chris sighed, "I know."
They stood awkwardly for another moment, before Marcus spoke again. "She wanted me to go and get you. She said she wanted to talk to you a bit. You know, try and explain things in a less aggressive manner."
"Yeah, I figured as much. Ashley isn't one for confrontation," he paused and thought. "That's probably why she didn't say anything right off. I feel like an arse about this whole thing."
"I hate to tell you this, but you were an arse." The emerald eyed wizard wondered if his comment was offensive.
Chris was quiet. He raked his fingers through his messy hair. "I really was, and that's why I was going upstairs. I was going to apologize." He sighed again and motioned to go past the dark haired boy.
Marcus's hand gripped Chris's shoulder. "Why do you smell like that Chris?" he asked accusingly.
"We'll talk later, okay?" the Redish brown head called as he pushed past.
Finally he got to where he intended to go. He knocked on the door and his female mirror image looked at him square in the eyes. She was obviously still upset. He looked down at her bandaged arm that was holding the door open. She noticed his stare and pulled her arm back. "Get a nice look?" she asked hotly.
"I-- Lily--" he sputtered before she brushed past him. He sighed for, what felt like, the hundredth time and walked into the room where Ashley was waiting.
--
Lily went to her room and grabbed a long sleeved shirt, so her mother wouldn't question her linen wrapped arms. She headed down to the kitchen, from witch the smell of cookies wafted. When she walked in she saw Marcus at the stove. He was wearing her mother's pink cooking apron.
"What the heck?" she said with a giggle. "Marcus James Martinez! I know you're gay, but this is taking it too far." She erupted with laughter.
The raven haired boy stood with his hands on his hips, with a mock-stern look on his face. "Lily Rose Warrington , don't you take that tone with me." Then they both began laughing. A buzzer sounded. "Oh," Marcus cried after a moment, "the cookies!" He unloaded the sheets from the oven and used a spatula to get them off. After he put them in a place to cool, the two of them headed outside to sit on the porch.
"I hope everything can go back to normal. I mean, they can be friends again." She sat with her chin resting on her palm.
"Anything is better than what happened this morning. I was about to punch him square in the face. I mean, I love they guy like a brother, but when I heard you scream," he paused. "I felt how he should have felt when those boys broke your heart."
She had a confused look on her face, "Marcus, sometimes I just don't get you." She smiled and shook her head.
"You know the big brother instinct? It's the need to be overprotective of your younger siblings specifically your little sister." He smiled and elbowed her.
"You've been more of a brother than her has," she gave a small laugh, "but that's probably because he's my brother. Anyway, thanks for everything Marcus."
He gave a hearty laugh, "What are big brothers for?" He put his arm around her.
"What's all this?" bellowed the distinctive voice, of none other than, Chris . "Not another one making eyes at my sister. Bloody bastard, Marcus, you of all people should know to lay off!" He grinned at his own joke. Ashley, who followed close behind him, sniggered a little and pushed him playfully.
Lily stood up and smoothed her shirt, "I think I can take care of my self brother dearest. What would I want from Marcus, anyway? --No offence to you, mate." A quick none taken was heard from Marcus. "Besides," Ashley walked up next to Lily and wrapped her arms around the taller girl's torso, "it looks like my hands are already full."
Chris grimaced, "I do NOT need to know about your sex life, thank you very much!"
"Well," started Ashley in her matter-of-fact-I'm-the-smartest-girl-tone, "no one said anything about our sex life, but now that you mention it--"
"No, please," said Chris. "Just because I'm not mad at you does not mean I'm going to be okay with this right away. I suppose I can get used to you girls, but it will take a while. Thank the heavens it's not Marcus." He laughed. No one else joined in. "What?"
Marcus patted Chris on the back, "It seems as if I fancy the cock, Chris, ol' boy."
The girls laughed behind their hands and walked away. Marcus would need time to talk things out with Chris. Probably leaving any mention of Marcus's crush, "MIKE" as Marcus referred to him, out of the conversation. If Marcus told him that he wanted to jump Mike's bones, Chris would have gone into shock and swallowed his tongue.
--
The pair of young women entered the kitchen and grabbed a couple of cookies. They walked slowly up the stairs, so their cookies would be consumed but the time they reached Lily's room. Bite by bite the cookies disappeared. Lily tingled with anticipation as they reached the hallway. Ashley was deliberately minimizing contact, teasing. She nonchalantly let their shoulders rub and licked her lips sensuously, without so much as a glance at her young lover. Slowly they crept upon their room. Once inside Ashley shut the door and walked to the Redish brown headed girl sitting on the bed.
Lily shifted uneasily.
"What?" questioned the brunette. Her eyes were hazy and hooded with lust. "You look so nervous." She took purposeful strides. She made a faux shocked face, "Is my pretty girl horny? Well, how did that happen?" She placed one knee on either side of Lily's legs and wrapped her arms loosely around the taller girl's shoulders.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Lily said, playing along.
"You don't?" Ashley pushed Lil's back to he bed and pushed past the waistband of the jeans the Redish brown head was wearing. She toyed with the hem of the panties near the thigh and put one finger under that final layer. She swept across the area. Lily took a sharp intake of breath. "You're wet," Ashley grinned.
"So?" Lily pulled Ashley down and kissed her hard.
Their tongues mingled and teeth bit down softly upon pink lips. Hands roved, except for the one that was in the younger girl's pants, it was busy. Lily's hips moved rhythmically with Ashley's strokes. Her heart beat harder and faster. Her breathing was in deep pants and her cheeks flushed. "Oh gods," she moaned. Then she bit her lip to suppress a moan as she shuddered against Ashley's hand.
Ashley curled next to the gasping girl. Petting her hair and crooning quietly. After a few minutes Lily was still in a daze. "Did you like that?" asked Ashley, in soothing tones. Lily just nodded her reply and smiled.
The girls spent the afternoon in bed, drifting in and out of sleep. Well, Lily slept. They were cuddled cozy together. Every now and then Ashley would prop herself up on her elbow and watch her beloved sleep. She petted the Redish brown hair and traced the random scars peeking out on the other belly, the gap between her jeans and shirt. It was quiet and warm. When Lily finally woke up she murmured, "I love you," and smiled.
"I love you too," said Ashley. "And no one can ever take that away from us."
Lily continued her smile, which now was an elated grin. "I don't have anything to be sad about anymore. I have you, and that's all the happiness in the world," she paused. "You were right, as always. I did need to be saved."
They rubbed noses together, Eskimo style.
There was a knock at the door. "You better be decent!" Marcus called, "It's time for dinner! Oh, and MIKE is here, so hurry up!"
The girls laughed and climbed out of bed and hurried to dinner.