Draco Malfoy was tapping his fork against his knife. He wasn't interested in how many first years joined Slytherin. The Sorting Hat's lame jokes irritated him. And Professor Dumbledor's speech was going on far too long.
"And now" boomed the headmaster, "we have a novelty at Hogwarts."
Draco sat up straight.
"A new student who will not be going into the First Year. In fact, he's seventeen. Artemis Fowl, please step forward."
Draco watched as a boy walked into the hall. He was slim and pale with dark hair, and his blue eyes darted swiftly around the room. Draco had the unnerving impression he was picking up on even the smallest details.
The boy walked up to the chair and eyes the sorting hat as if eyeing up an opponent. The sorting hat glared huffily back at him.
Artemis let the hat be lowered onto his head. He'd heard the rhyme and new what the houses represented – Gryffindor brave, Ravenclaw intelligent, Slytherin ambitious and Hufflepuff – well, none of those things. Just a lot of average, nice people.
"Hmm" said the hat. "Intelligent enough to be head of Ravenclaw."
Artemis kept his thoughts calm.
"But ambitious, very ambitious."
So far the hat had said nothing he wasn't expecting.
"But brave too. You could definitely be Gryffindor material."
"What?" said Artemis, trying to twist his head in some way to get a look at the hat.
"Oh yes. I don't get mixed up in fairies myself, and looking at your memories I'm glad I don't."
"Can you…can you see all of my thoughts?"
"Yes, and may I recommend a few doses of soothing potion too. To be quite honest, it's up to you. But, in my humble opinion, you'd be happiest in Slytherin."
"Why don't you just say?"
"I deal in where you'll be most successful, not most happy."
"Slytherin, then."
"SLYTHERIN" roared the hat, and Artemis saw a whole table of student rise to their feet to cheer. He walked bashfully towards the table and sat down with a group of people who looked roughly his own age. Across the table, a boy stared at him with interest. He had pale hair and pale grey eyes that reflected a level of emotionless intensity that put even Artemis to shame.
It was later that evening. Draco was playing chess against Crabb in the Slytherin form room.
"Jesus, Crabb" said Draco, trying to inject his voice with some patience. "You know how the bishop moves."
Crabb's face was a blank.
"The way that's different to all the others?"
Crabbs face lit up. "Bishop to B1" he said.
The Bishop refused to move.
"No, Crabb, he can't go there" said Draco slowly. It was like trying to talk to a child.
"Oh, I give up" said Crabb, getting up and stalking off. Draco leaned back in and sighed.
"Mind if I have a go?" said a soft, lilting voice from behind him. It took a moment for him to place the accent. Irish.
He turned to see the new boy from the sorting sitting opposite him.
"It's just that where I'm from, we've only got normal chess sets. This one seems rather more interesting."
"It's exactly the same" explained Draco. "Except the pieces move themselves, as you saw. And occasionally they give you advice."
"I won't be needing that" said the boy, and smiled, vampire-like. "I'm Artemis, by the way. Artemis Fowl." He stuck out his hand. Draco just stared at it in disdain.
"Draco. Draco Malfoy. And if you were anyone in the wizarding world that name would send shivers down your spine."
"As it is, my spine is shiver-free."
"Well it can't be helped. You are a mudblood."
The whole room fell silent as Draco said that, then turned to stare at Artemis. He remained unmoved.
"As you so eloquently put it, I'm not "anyone in the wizarding world", so I don't know what mudblood means."
"It means" said Draco, growing irritated, "that your parents were muggles."
"Muggles meaning non-magical?"
"Yes."
"True" said Artemis, leaning forward. "But I still don't understand why it's an insult." His face was blank. "I earned my magic by chasing a demon through a volcano and spending three years trapped in an alternate dimension. You inherited yours. Now," and with this word he stood up and swept his cloak around his shoulders, "If I was threatened by two people, and one told me my story, and one told me yours, I think I know which one should send a shiver down my spine."
He turned and walked upstairs.
It was later that night. Draco was making his way upstairs, when the dorm prefect stopped him.
"Looks like you've got a roommate for the first time in your school career, Draco."
Draco stopped, and turned.
"Don't be ridiculous."
"What?" said the prefect, blinking, a happy smile still on his face. "I thought you'd be happy."
"Share. Share with some idiotic, drooling moron going over my stuff, probably mudblood, or a snorer…" He stopped and realised there was only one person it could be.
"It's Artemis Fowl, isn't it?"
The prefect nodded.
Draco stormed into his room. On the bed opposite his own, Artemis lay asleep on his front. He was shirtless, and as he shifted Draco could see his shoulder blades flex under his pale skin. Draco bit his lip in irritation.
Still, there was nothing that could be done. He undressed and went to bed.
That night his dreams were strange and dark. Somewhere in the background, a soft Irish voice was murmuring to him.
The next morning, in advanced potions, Draco slumped between Crabb and Goyle.
"I heard that he fought off a whole army of demons trying to suck his blood" enthused Goyle.
"Don't be stupid" said Crabb. "That's vampires. These demons were trying to destroy all magic, until Artemis fought them off…" His voice dropped, and he leaned forward "…single handed."
"Preposterous" muttered Draco.
He had been absolutely furious all morning. Somehow, Artemis Fowl had talked his way into being allowed into advanced potions on his first day. He was now sat next to Hermione Granger, who he seemed to be getting along with very well. Draco watched him out of the corner of his eye.
"Don't you just find the new boy…irritating?"
Draco sat up and looked around to see who had said that. For a few brief seconds he was pleased to have found an ally against Artemis, until he saw who the words had come from.
Ron Weasley and Harry Potter were staring at Artemis, their mouths contorted into a sneer.
"Smirking Slytherin bastard" spat Ron.
"He's stuck up, that's what he is" said Harry. "Apparently he was boasting to the whole of Slytherin last night in an attempt to shoot down Draco."
"I never, ever thought I'd say this, but I actually side with Draco on this one."
"Ron, are you feeling alright?" said Harry, and the two started laughing, then switched the topic to quidditch. But a few minutes later, Draco heard Artemis' name again, and tuned into their conversation.
"We should teach the smarmy git a lesson" said Ron.
"We can't use magic on him. No magic in the corridors, remember?"
"Nothing to stop us beating him up though, is there?"
The two giggled, and Draco felt his stomach twist. On the one hand, someone beating the crap out of Artemis pleased him immensely. On the other, his brain was suddenly filled with pictures of Artemis' pretty, feminine features crunching under Ron's fist, the look of bemused shock that would come over him…
Artemis was lying on the floor of an empty classroom, shuddering as Harry and Ron kicked him in the ribs.
"He's not even fighting back" complained Ron, throwing Artemis' wand across the classroom. Artemis remembered with regret Butler's offer to come with him.
Harry picked him up by the scruff of his neck.
"Do you know who I am?"
"You're Harry Potter."
"Harry Potter what?"
"What?" said Artemis, confused.
"The boy who…" prompted Ron.
"Kicked the shit out of me for no good reason?" suggested Artemis.
Harry scowled and dropped him on the floor. He turned to Ron. "Bored yet?"
"Yeah."
"Let's leave him then."
The two turned and walked off, Ron making sure to stamp on Artemis' balls on the way out.
He lay on the ground, contorted in pain. He had no energy to move at all. Maybe he could just stay here until the next class came in. If he was really lucky, the classroom wouldn't be being used next lesson and he could just lie here in peace for an hour or so.
He heard someone come into the room.
"Have you really come back for more?" he moaned.
"Shut up, mudblood. I'm trying to help you." He recognised the voice. It was Draco.
"What do you want?"
"Like I said, I'm trying to help you."
"I don't have any money on me."
"Shut up Artemis."
Artemis felt himself being scooped up, and carried up a flight of stairs. He closed his eyes and rested his head against Draco's chest and drifted into a drowse. He was sure he felt Draco's fingers playing with his hair, but he was probably just trying to shift his weight.
They arrived at their dorm room and Draco laid him carefully on the bed. He pulled his robe away, then gently unbuttoned his shirt.
"How bad is it?" said Artemis, watching Draco's grey eyes study his chest.
"Not too bad. A lot of bruising, a few scratches, only one really nasty one, and nothing looks broken. Trust me, Potter can do worse."
"What's so special about him?"
"What do you mean?"
"He kept saying he was "The boy who" something."
"Lived" said Draco, fetching some wipes and carefully dabbing at his grazes. He bit his lip. "Sorry. Does it sting?"
"It's fine. Keep telling me about Harry Potter."
"About seventeen years ago, the whole wizarding world was terrified of a wizard called…" - Draco lowered his voice – "Voldermort. You shouldn't say that name in public, by the way. People get panicked. Anyway, anyone he wanted to kill, he generally did. One night, he turned up at the Potter household, ready to kill everyone there. But something went wrong."
"Lilly and James Potter, Harry's parents, died like they were meant to. But Voldermort couldn't kill Harry, for some reason. He died instead, and Harry just got that stupid scar. But now he's rising again." Draco's voice was gleeful. "And he'll wipe out the rot of the wizarding world." He looked up at Artemis quickly, and Artemis caught the remains of an ecstatic expression fading guiltily from his face. "Is that better on the grazes?"
"Yes thanks. You can work miracles. Sorry for getting angry last night."
"It's alright. Turn over." Something told him this was as close as Draco ever got to an apology.
Artemis did as instructed, and sighed happily as Draco's fingers began working out the knots in his muscles.
"So what's Ireland like?"
"Crazy. Full of fairies. I don't really get out much. I don't know a lot beyond that."
Draco laughed – a soft, warm sound that made something in the pit of his stomach burn. He dug his nails into the bed.
"Alright if I sort of go on top of you?" said Draco. "It'd be easier for me to reach then."
"Fine" said Artemis. He tried to keep the urgency out of his voice.
Draco swung his leg over the small of Artemis' back and ran his fingers over Artemis' spine.
"Do you have a girlfriend back in Ireland, then?"
"Not…really."
"What does that mean?"
"Well, we kissed but she's quite a lot older than me."
"I won't ask."
"Thanks. What about you?"
"I'm always single." He chuckled again.
"Aw, poor Draco. Never been kissed?"
"Well…I…" Draco stopped for a minute.
"No" he said slowly after a pause. "I…I haven't. Unless you count Pansy Parkinson in the third year. And she missed my mouth."
Artemis laughed.
"Fancy being my first?" said Draco. He was joking, of course, but Artemis' mind was suddenly filled with images of Draco kissing him and biting his neck.
Just then the bell rang for the next lesson.
"Come on, Fairy boy" said Draco. "I don't care how bruised you are, you've got to come to Divination. Don't worry, there's practically no work."
All through Divination, Draco kept on flicking his eyes to the back of Artemis' neck. He had never, ever felt attracted to someone like this before. But every time he imagined running his mouth down Artemis' stomach, an image of himself introducing Artemis' as his boyfriend to his father popped up. This was disgusting. He needed to get a grip of himself.
Divination ended, and he walked back with Artemis to their room. Artemis was chatting cheerily about how "it was all clearly rubbish."
"Draco" he said as he reached the room. "Can any wizards hear other people's thoughts?"
"What?" said Draco. "I don't think so." He hoped not.
"Oh good. So what do we do now?" He flopped onto the bed.
Now I push you onto the bed and you tear off my clothes thought Draco.
Instead they played Wizard chess. The evening passed in a blur of Draco being beaten again and again, and Artemis' ridiculously cute smug face, and many, many Butterbeers. By the end of the night, he could barely stand. Artemis was similarly inebriated, but was still managing to beat him in less than six moves.
"Artemis" he drawled.
"Yeah?"
"You're ridiculously cute."
"And you're stupidly pretty."
Somehow they were lying side by side on…someone's bed, pointing at each other and laughing as they said this.
"Artemis" whispered Draco.
"Yeah?"
"Be my first kiss" he said, and then he pushed his mouth against Artemis' and their lips locked and he could taste salt and spit. Artemis' arms wrapped themselves around his neck and Draco began to pull Artemis' shirt over his head, tracing his fingers along the smooth lines of his stomach, then running them just under the waistband of his trousers. He felt Artemis thrust against his leg, hands groping his arse possessively. The boy bit his neck hard. Draco bit his lip and nibbled Artemis' ear. He wanted to –
"Dad, this is my boyfriend." The cold look of disapproval. The raised wand. Wrong. Sick. Dirty. Wrong.
Draco pushed Artemis away so hard he nearly fell off the bed.
"I'm…I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He wasn't sure what he was saying as he pushed Artemis towards his own bed, then crossed the room, making sure to not turn his back to him. "I didn't mean too…dirty. Sick. Dirty and wrong."
He blew out the candles and fell into bed in his clothes, kicking them off under the covers. He managed to hold it together for a few minutes, hopefully long enough for Artemis to get to sleep, before he began to cry.
Artemis awoke confused and scared. The room was pitch black, and a quick glance at the clock told him it was 3 a.m. His head was pounding and he felt a sudden, nauseating churning in his stomach.
He staggered to the toilet and crouched over it. His head felt cold and hot all at once.
Draco.
He clenched his teeth. He'd let himself be taken in by someone, be loved and touched and kissed. He's wanted it back. How was he that stupid?
He'd had a clear mission in his mind now. Find Voldemort, offer his support and eventually topple him and take his place. Now Draco Malfoy had messed with his head. He was angry and aroused at the same time every time he thought of him.
Why had Draco pushed him away? What had he meant when he kept on repeating "dirty, wrong, sick"?
Artemis knew people were – he was going to say homophobic but then this wasn't gay, was it? It was just an exception. A mild infatuation. Draco had probably realised that too. Neither of them was gay.
But perhaps Draco had thought Artemis was gay and got scared and pushed him away. That made sense. Everything made sense. He would just have to explain it to him.
Artemis straightened up. The sick feeling was almost gone now.
Maybe it would be better if he didn't say anything at all.
He stumbled back to bed and lay awake, thinking. He missed his old friend, the internet. Hogwarts had no connection. If he'd woken up in the night at Fowl Manor, he'd have simply logged on and started messing around, planning how to destroy China. Here he had nothing to distract him from his thoughts – and they were hot, sweaty thoughts, involving Draco. Draco murmuring against his neck. Draco planting kisses along his jaw. Draco's hands moving down over his stomach…
When he next woke it was 7:30. Artemis had never been someone who found it difficult to get up, out today he really, really didn't want to get out of bed. He felt like the sunlight was a solid force battering against the back of his eyes.
"First hangover?" The sound of Draco's calm, sardonic voice soothed him slightly.
"Yes. It's…unpleasant."
"Well, you did drink pretty hard last night. Come on, put your bloody robe on."
There was something fake in Draco's manner, but it was so well disguised that Artemis suspected no one else would have been able to spot it.
"Draco…" he said, pulling himself out of bed, but Draco had already gone. Damn.