Counting Stars

"Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep

Dreaming about the things that we could be"

Your makeup free face had a small soft smile on it today as you carefully brushed your hair in your mirror. You had your nicest dress, a pretty cream floral one with slight ruffles, and a pearl necklace on today. Why were you dressed up so nicely? That question was easy to answer. Today was the day you were finally going to meet the man of your, and Coulson's, dreams. You had been taking pictures and writing small blotters on him for about a month now as part of your new job in S.H.I.E.L.D. as covering information on various members, but you tended to focus on Steve Rogers. He was known to the people of S.H.I.E.L.D. as Captain America, but you and Coulson loved to call him Capsicle when no one was listening.

But today, you had gotten your lucky break. You had been asked to get an interview with him and take some pictures of him doing things that normal people would, such as going out to lunch. So that's exactly what you asked him to do. You knew of a lovely tea place downtown that was only a few blocks from S.H.I.E.L.D.'s main office, so you had asked to meet him there and had gotten an approval message for the request just this morning. Due to the short notice, however, you were rushing around and trying to look your best for your interview (well, date in your mind) that was scheduled for 30 minutes from now. You tied your hair back in a neat ponytail, and rushed out of your office and into the main area of the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.

You stood out from the crowd of overworked and tired looking people today, and smiled politely at them to try and make them feel a bit less stressed. Many of them smiled back, some of them smiled a bit too much likely due to rumors of your job today being passed around. As you made your way to the large glass doors that made up the exit, you caught a quick glimpse of Coulson on the second floors balcony who smiled and waved at you despite the obvious jealousy he must have been feeling. It brightened your mood remarkably to know Coulson was doing okay and you opened the large doors and felt pure joy as the crisp air of spring hit your face. But it also woke you up to the realization of what you were about to do.

You knew that after the fight with Loki and joining the Avengers, he had been overwhelmed to the point where you worried about him. It must be so hard to wake up in another time period and find everything you held on to was gone or changed, after all. Sometimes you had worried over it so much that you could not sleep at night just imagining what he must have been going through. But it was not the thoughts of what he went through that had you loosing sleep, but instead the fact that a good, genuine person like him was the one with the burden of them. Despite all the publicity and fakeness that showed up on his record through his appearances as a celebrity, you had seen him when he was at his most relaxed and true at S.H.I.E.L.D. and knew none of that propaganda was who he was. You sometimes could not help but wonder what you could do to help him through these times and yearn to be the one to help him fully accept the reality of the world he was in. Today was your possibly one opportunity to do just that, and it had you nervous and shaking as you walked the short distance to the tea place. Thankfully, the small tea shop was a place that was like a second home to you and you knew just one cup of warm tea would help calm your nerves.

You took a deep breath and put a small skip in your step as you turned the corner where the quaint tea place was on and carefully opened one of the black gates and took a seat outside, anxiously anticipating your guest with butterflies.

"I see this life like a swinging vine
Swing my heart across the line
And my face is flashing signs"

You had been waiting a few minutes, and had your pen, paper, and camera all ready. After this was prepared, you had been looking through the large selection of tea they offered on the menu and giggled the tiniest bit when you were able to find a tea called "The American Blend". You thought for a moment what it would be like if Steve picked that one, and the thought brought a smile to your lips.

"Excuse me, Ma'am?" a kind and youthful voice said directly in front of you, "Are you [Reader] [Last Name]?"

You had been so busy daydreaming you had not even noticed the handsome blonde man known as Steve approach your table. You quickly stood up, hitting the table, and gave him your warmest smile. You nodded feverishly and tried not to shake your now growing smile off in the process.

"Yes, I am. I am going to make an educated guess and say I don't need to ask who you are", you replied to him in a surprisingly cool voice even though you were dying on the inside. This moment reminded you a bit of almost every moment of your Harvest Moon games, and you mentally thanked them for teaching you this. He returned your smile with a hearty laugh and a dazzling smile, "I seem to be a pretty well known figure around here by now I take it". He carefully pulled back the chair facing opposite to you and sat down directly across from you. The sun only hit half of his face due to the umbrella above the table, but the half that was lit up showed small scarring and the pure strings of gold in his hair. To you, that sight was completely breathtaking and enough to make you lose your train of thought for a moment before regaining it in a small panic. It had only been 1 minute and you were already loosing it, which was never a good sign. He picked up the menu delicately and scanned over the words inked on the pages. Automatically, you pulled out your camera and focused in to try and get a good shot with the lighting. He looked up at you and gave a small chuckle. You blushed profusely, realizing how odd you must look and hoping he would not think that of you.

"Would you mind if I took a few shots for the article?" you asked politely in a quiet voice.

"Of course not, go right ahead", he said calmly as he continued to look through the selection. You took a few shots, all of which turned out beautifully thanks to his photogenic face. The pictures made your heart flutter to look through, and you dawned on the realization this entire interview was going to involve your feelings being tossed around in frenzied swings from a thin line. After a moment, he seemed to have decided on what he was getting and looked up at you with bright eyes.

"So, why did you pick this place, Miss [Last Name]?" he asked with genuine curiosity on his face. You stumbled over the question for a moment before letting out a small laugh.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you the questions?" you said bravely as you clenched one of your hands under the table to alleviate your nervousness. He laughed in return and shook his head in a way that made his hair shine in the bright morning sun despite the shade you were under.

"Well, would it really be fair I got to know nothing about the lovely person I am talking too?" he said with a small smile, "from what I have heard, you seem like a very kind person and someone I would love to know". You felt a thick blush cover your face at both the thought he wanted to know you and because you were terrified of what he might of heard. You could barely meet his eyes.

"I guess not", you replied in a whisper as you thought of an answer, "I picked this place because it's a comfort zone for me I guess. I have always had a love for tea, so when I moved here to take up this job it was sort of a home away from home". You had been looking down at the empty porcelain cup in front of you while explaining your reasons, and swirled a circle around the lip of the cup absent-mindedly the entire time you were talking. A short silence split the moment, before having it reconnected by a deep breath from where Steve was sitting.

"That's a truly wonderful reason. Having a comfort zone is… very important. Especially when you are taken out of your comfort zone", he said in a serious tone that had smothered pain in it. You knew it was because he had been taken not just out of his comfort zone, but also out of his entire era. Sympathy pulled at your heart and you felt a small frown touch your face.

"Please, don't feel bad about it. It's the reality I must accept in time. Now, Miss [Last Name], did you have a first question you wanted to ask now that my turn is up?" he said in a soothing voice that made your eyes once again reconnect with his. You regained your train of thought and went to your notebook where you had a few questions jotted down. You picked the first one you saw.

"What is your favorite part about your job?" you asked with curiosity practically pouring out of your words. It may have been a simple question, but it was on that meant so much for this particular person who was in front of you. He looked up for a moment as he pondered over the question, but when he was ready to answer he looked you in the eyes with a confident look on his face.

"Most people would guess the money, but that's never been it" he said with a small laugh as you quickly scrambled to write every word he said down, "I simply liked the fact I could give back to my country. I have always wanted to help others; even in the times I knew I would have almost no hope of it. Before the events that made me Captain America, that was all I wanted and all I still want. When I was still weak and frail and that fake grenade was thrown during training, I jumped on it because I knew that if I could just save a few lives my own existence would be worth it. I would say its also getting to meet such kind-hearted people; there are so many dedicated workers at S.H.I.E.L.D. and civilians that the Avengers get to meet. You being one of them", he said finishing with a dazzling smile your way. You once again blushed as you finished recording his words with a flourish from your pen. You were still freaking out about this entire situation, but something about him made you feel relaxed and at ease so you were able to function despite all your feelings and the butterflies eating away at you.

"That was just amazing; absolutely amazing. Its so hard to find people as true as you are these days sadly", you told him with a complimenting grin. He shook his head with a good-humored laugh, "I'm not amazing, just a fellow human being". You quickly jotted down that line, knowing you would use it later for some use.

"Now, its my turn to ask a question. I know you have been asking for this interview for quite some time, so why me? There are plenty of funnier or more joyful people than me around", he asked you in a soft tone as not to startle you by his direct question. You felt the familiar blush he caused come across your face once again and dropped your eyes to your empty teacup. You thought over all the ways you could word this for a moment, and tried not to screw it up.

"Well, I know a lot about you. Some from Coulson and others, some I have learned on my own. All of it just seems to frame you as a lovely human and one that I wanted to learn more about. Just the fact you can sit here and talk to me normally after all that you have been through astounds me quite frankly. You don't get enough credit for it and I hope that this article could change that", you told him with a bold tone that rang with confidence because you knew those were the right words to use. You left out the fact you had a giant crush on him, but he could find that out later. He flashed a wide grin your way and ran a hand through his hair. You grabbed your camera and took a shot of him like that quickly; it seemed to capture his essence as a whole.

"Coulson would, he seems to have his own little fan club. I'm proud to be able to call him a friend, he has a kind heart. Now, it's your time for a question Miss [Last Name]. Would it be okay if I called you [Reader]?" he asked kindly and with a very relaxed way about him. He seemed to be feeling at home around you, and just the thought of you helping him find comfort made you smile. You looked down at your list and picked the second question off it comfortably.

"Do you feel unique in any way?" you asked him carefully. You knew this question could easily turn into a painful one that separated him from others, but hoped he would take it well. And just as you hoped, he did.

"No, not really. I know I should, after all I was lucky enough to have the procedures done to make me into this alleged "super-soldier" but at the end of the day I'm still human and I still hope I seem that way to people. I never liked those publicity stunts they had me do early in my life; it always made me feel like someone I was not. I really am just a lucky human being, nothing more, nothing less", he said to you with a soft look in his eyes. You knew he meant this truthfully, and wrote down every word with a spring in your writing as joy and affection swelled in your heart. This was the Steve you knew and loved in the flesh. He chuckled and interrupted your train of thought.

"My turn again, please? How did you feel about coming here to take on your position at S.H.I.E.L.D.?" he said before you had a chance to reply. You felt a bit overwhelmed for a moment, but quickly shook it off and answered.

"I felt scared of course. I am from Chicago and that's always been my home, a small quaint suburb. My friend [Name of Friend] and I had always dreamed of working here though, so when we got the offers we knew we had no choice but to accept and we never looked back. You find your own ways of adjusting; it's a part of life. You have done a much better job than either of us could, though. I admire you so much for that and your strength", you blurted out while looking at him with a caring look. You had said everything before you could take it back, and felt the worst wave of blush hit you so far and looked down at your notepad and doodled small circles in it to avoid looking at him and what you gauged his reaction might be.

"It is a part of life, many people your age can't seem to grasp that. I admire you just as much for being able to do that and face life as well as you do. We have something very important in common", he said with a genuine tone, "There is no need to avoid my eyes, [Reader]. There is nothing to fear in them". You looked up to meet his eyes, and for some reason was able to hold eye contact with him without fainting like Coulson predicted. You gave a small, but brave, smile and started to relax a bit. He was right, what was to fear?

"That admiration is requited in many ways. I can't believe of all people you are complimenting me. Shouldn't it be the other way around?" you asked him with a bit of a mocking tone. After you processed what you said, you gasped a bit at the sheer fact you were able to act like yourself around him despite the butterflies that had migrated to your stomach. But, your bravery did not go unrewarded and he returned your question with the most beautiful laugh you had ever heard and a wide grin, which you took a picture of. The world needed to see his smile more.

"No, it should not. Now, what about you last question, [Reader]?" he asked with a seemingly permanent smile on his lips. You giggled a bit before shooting your final question; a bit sad that you knew your time with him was almost up. You eyed the last question on your journal reluctantly before asking.

"Fine, I'll ask it. Is there anything you would like to change about your life at this time?" you said in a quiet and sympathetic way. You knew this could easily turn into a painful topic for him, but you failed to detect pain in his eyes. He took a few moments to think over his answer, and responded quietly.

"There are many mistakes I have made and people I have let down in my life, but I can't change those. It hurts to know there were things I could of done differently in so many different events that could of saved a life, but there is nothing I can do to change it at the end of the day. I believe that if I use the time I have been given for good, I can make up for those human errors I have done. So I guess my answer is no, there is nothing I would like to change because I believe I can redeem myself for that I have failed to do", he answered in a serious tone with small notes of hope ringing through his words. You could not help but foster a growing smile through his entire speech, it made you happy to know that he was not nearly as bad off as so many people thought he was. You knew he was strong, but not that strong. You wrote down every word precisely and made sure to try and capture the strong willed tone of it in your writing. As you processed what he said, he spoke.

"Okay, last question. How about we do this again?" he asked you politely with a hopeful tone now prominent in his voice. You swallowed down the butterflies finally, and nodded with a wide smile.

"I would love that", you answered simply and with a bold voice. You felt no need to be nervous around him now, you knew he was someone you could trust and it just seemed silly to even be a bit scared now. Your 4-word answer might have been simple, but you thought it did a proper job of summing up everything. It made what you thought would be a short interview ending with only glances exchanged afterwards into something more, a book half-written.

Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, a waiter came around to take your orders for tea. Over tea, you knew the conversation would continue and smiled at the fact you still had the entire afternoon with him.

To your amusement, he ordered the American Blend Tea.

"Sitting, no more counting dollars
We'll be counting stars"