Sneeze for Me
By My Cat Frank
A D/H Fanfic
Summary: One-shot! Harry finds himself the accidental victim of a potion that forces him to glomp onto anyone who sneezes, and Draco has a head cold. Serious glomp warning.
Warnings: slash, but it's tame slash
Disclaimer: This plot line is almost completely lifted off of Volume 10 of the manga series Ranma ½ by Rumiko Takahashi. Thank (or maybe blame) the fan artist Technoranma for drawing such wonderful d/h pictures Takahashi-style, because they inspired me to think of this combination. Oh yeah, and the Harry Potter characters all belong to J. K. Rowling and are used without permission. Like she's ever given me permission to write any of my d/h fanfics...:P I also would like to dedicate this fic to ALLERGY SEASON!!!
Author notes are at the bottom. On to the story!
What Pansy Parkinson had in store for that day had nothing to do with Harry Potter. Unfortunately, few things at Hogwarts were ever capable of getting by without having at least something to do with the famous Boy-Who-Lived. This would prove to be no exception.
It wasn't a love potion. It didn't even guarantee any kind of emotional bond of affection. It was just a simple solution that would cause the drinker to be open to a suggested conditioned response. Pansy's rationale for using this concoction was that she could sneak some into a certain boy's pumpkin juice. Then she would snap her fingers and tell him to hold her, and he would do it. He would do it every time she snapped her fingers, and that was all she really hoped for. She wasn't holding out for any long-term affection from him, but that didn't mean she would turn down an opportunity to get some physical enjoyment.
One could call it "settling," or running low on pride—even pathetic—but Pansy didn't care about any of this. She just wanted Draco Malfoy to saddle up next to her and give her a good feel-up. Sometimes the simplest pleasures in life are the most enjoyable.
He biggest mistake was in choosing to pour the potion into the goblet while it was still downstairs in the house-elves' kitchen. She thought that would be a good idea, because she didn't want anyone to see her pouring it in. So she snuck in, politely took a donut offered to her by a house-elf, and went over to the far table and poured the vial full of potion into the goblet full of juice which was sitting in front of the seat where Draco always sat. It blended in and was undetectable. With an evil grin of satisfaction, she snuck back out of the kitchen and regrouped with her friends in the Slytherin Common room, who were getting ready to head up to breakfast.
What Pansy tragically failed to realize was that the door to the kitchen was on the opposite side as the door to the Great Hall. Everything she saw in the kitchen was backwards from how it appeared upstairs. So when she thought she was pouring the potion into a goblet on the Slytherin table, it was really the Gryffindor table, and someone else's seat.
But the point is that she did not realize this, and chuckled in triumph when Draco drained his pumpkin juice at breakfast.
"What the devil are you laughing at?" Draco frowned at her, unnerved. He didn't have much patience for weirdness that day, because he had woken up with a sinus headache and could feel the drainage tickling his nose and causing him to sneeze occasionally.
"Nothing," she replied nonchalantly.
After breakfast, she walked with him down the hallway to the Potions classroom. She pulled him aside and said, "Just a minute, Draco."
He rolled his eyes, not wanting to be bothered, and pretended to pay attention to her as he watched the other students file into the classroom. There was something funny that he wanted to sneer at Potter before class, and it was easier to taunt Potter without Pansy getting in the way. He could see Potter getting closer, and the other boy was just about to pass them by when Pansy distracted him.
Pansy held up her hand. "Draco, when I snap my fingers, I want you to hold me."
Draco couldn't taunt Potter, or wonder at whatever Pansy was talking about, because just then he let out a violent sneeze that echoed through the hallway and drowned out the sound of Pansy snapping her fingers.
And then, just as suddenly, he found himself being grabbed. Two arms wrapped around him from the side, pinning down his own arms, and a head of dark hair cuddled up against Draco's shoulder.
"HARRY!!!" Several voices around them yelled. Other students started cheering and clapping. Pansy screamed. Draco needed a moment to register what was going on, his head fuzzy from the sneeze. He stiffened in shock from the unexpected touch, and looked down at the person glomping on to him. He could feel a pair of glasses poking him in the shoulder.
"Harry, what do you think you're doing?!" Ron Weasley looked at the two of them, green with disgust.
Draco's eyes widened. "Potter?" he asked in disbelief.
"Mm-hm," came the muffled reply from Draco's chest. Draco growled.
"Potter, normally when someone sneezes, it's considered polite to say 'Bless you' or even 'Gesundheit.' It's NOT, and I mean NEVER, okay for you to HUG me!"
"Don't you think I know that?" Harry answered irritably, and stroked his fingers down Draco's spine. Draco shivered.
"Then why are you—" Draco's question was cut off as Snape came out of his office, his arms crossed over his chest and looking vexed.
"What is all this commotion about out here? Why is no one coming in to cla—" Snape's jaw dropped open when he discovered the source of the commotion.
"Help, Professor, Potter's trying to molest me," Draco pleaded.
"You're not exactly trying to shake him off, though, are you?" Ron pointed out.
Draco's cheeks tinted pink and he struggled. He was about to retort something nasty to the Weasel, but then his head of house sneezed.
Harry quickly let go of him and flew over to glomp onto Snape. Snape bristled, his face contorting into an expression of fury none of the students had ever seen before. Harry was unable to do anything about it, though, as he felt himself clasp his hands around his least favorite professor and bury his head in his chest. He could smell traces of unknown potions buried in the Potions Master's robes. He groaned, wondering why he didn't seem to have any control over what his body was doing.
"Potter," Snape seethed in a silky, deadly voice, "Get off. Now."
"But I can't," Harry protested, nuzzling his professor. Students were laughing. "Professor, I don't know what happened, I just seem to—"
Draco sneezed again, and Harry was back, holding onto his nemesis as though his life depended on it.
"Potter!" Draco cried.
"Hey, that looks like fun! I wanna try!" Seamus Finnegan chortled, and tried to pretend sneeze. Apparently, the potion had no effect over artificial sneezes, because Harry didn't move away from Draco. Instead, he nuzzled his head into the crook of Draco's neck, his warm breath steaming across the other boy's skin, his hair brushing Draco's ear.
"Potter, quit it!" Draco squirmed and tried to get away, his eyes the size of saucers. "That tickles!" Struggling only seemed to push Harry more fully against him, and Draco felt himself surrounded by the warm sensation of Harry wrapped around him in an intimate way.
Meanwhile, Pansy was ready to throw a fit, but she couldn't say anything specific without letting others discover her act of treachery. She tried snapping her fingers, hoping that it would make Draco throw off Potter and glomp onto her instead. It didn't work. The only conclusion she could make was that when she snapped the first time and Draco sneezed, somehow the sneeze had become the catalyst for the potion's effects. What she couldn't know was that Harry had ingested the potion, not Draco.
"Fifty points from Gryffindor!" Snape roared, and the Gryffindor half of the class groaned. "Potter, go to the hospital wing and have Madam Pomfrey examine you." Harry didn't move, but only stood there in the middle of the hallway hugging Draco. Snape rolled his eyes and pried him off from behind. "Now go!" He pointed his finger down the hall, and Harry didn't need to be told twice. He ran, his cheeks blazing in embarrassment, eager to put some distance between himself and Malfoy.
Madam Pomfrey checked him out, but she found nothing wrong with him. There was no way that she could, because the potion's effects were not physical, but psychological.
"But—but—" Harry protested.
"No 'buts'—you should be in class rather than wasting my time with nonexistent symptoms. Now scoot!" She shoved him out the door and returned her attention to Terry Boot, who had a tree branch growing out of his ear.
And so Harry suffered through the rest of the day. Any time anybody sneezed—be it student, professor, Filch, or even Mrs. Norris, Harry had to glomp onto him or her. It was the most humiliating spell he had ever been put under. He sat gloomily at dinner, absently picking his fork at a potato while Ginny sat next to him, trying to snort pepper up her nose with the pepper shaker.
"Cheer up, Harry," Ron said reassuringly. He had a clothespin over his nose, so it came out sounding more like "Cheed up." "Id ca'd lasd doo much logger, whadever id is."
Harry responded with a weak smile. But then, Ginny finally succeeded in releasing a dainty little sneeze, and Harry had no choice but to reach over and hug her. Hermione clucked her tongue, shaking her head in disapproval.
"Honestly, Ginny, don't you think he's had enough already?"
Ginny flushed and bowed her head, unable to say anything.
"S'okay," Harry sighed wearily, and slowly retracted himself from the redhead.
"After dinner, we'll go straight to the library and try to determine what sort of hex someone placed on you," Hermione decided. Harry didn't really see a better solution, so he nodded.
After they finished eating, the trio got up from the table and headed to the library, Harry lagging behind. Halfway there Ron and Hermione rounded a corner, and Harry heard a loud sneeze coming from behind him. He snapped around and before he knew it his arms were wrapped around none other than Draco Malfoy—again.
Draco let out a strangled yelp. It was a yelp that tried to disguise itself as something more dignified, but it was a yelp nonetheless.
"Potter, we've got to stop meeting like this," he muttered.
Harry answered by growling under his breath and dragging Draco into the nearest classroom, which was dark and—thankfully—deserted. He grimaced at the blond and asked, "Why do you have to keep sneezing, anyway?"
Draco rolled his eyes. "Well, in case you hadn't noticed, Potter, my sinuses are acting up." As if to prove this statement, his nose twitched, and he sneezed again. Harry flung his arms over Draco's shoulders and leaned his head against Draco's, running his fingers through his hair.
Draco gasped at the touch. He fought to keep his eyelids from fluttering shut, caught between his horror at the idea of being held by Potter and his horror at the idea that despite what his mind told him, he actually liked it. His heartbeat seemed to be thumping louder than it ought to. His own hands twitched, tempted to reach around and pull the other boy even closer into the embrace. Not that he would ever consciously admit to such a temptation, of course.
"I thought pureblood wizards didn't get sick," Harry muttered throatily, distracting Draco from his confused thoughts. He slid a hand down Draco's spine in a soothing motion and cupped his lower back, the other hand still sifting through the blond hair in a motion that could have lulled Draco to sleep, had it been any other situation.
"Shows what you know," Draco retorted, but the words came out more like a breathy whisper. "I always get sick this time of year, what with the extra pollen in the air—" he gasped nervously as Harry stepped closer into him and pressed their bodies against each other. "This castle is full of mold, I don't know why they can't clean it up." He sneezed again, and Harry tightened his hold, chuckling into his ear.
"Sounds like you have allergies," he breathed.
"Sounds like you were pretty stupid to drag me into such a musty classroom," Draco said as he felt his nose tickle again. "How dare you—" he sneezed.
Instead of continuing his tight hold, Harry loosened his grip enough to look Draco in the eyes. They stood, Harry's arms still around him, their faces centimeters apart, blinking in the darkness at each other. Before Draco could question what was going on Harry cupped his face with one hand, and kissed him.
Draco's mind shut down as he felt Harry's lips against his own. The sensation was soft and tingly, and he could feel the warmth of Harry's mouth, moist with a faint taste of strawberries. His eyes finally drifted shut, and his lips began to press back, his conscious mind aware of nothing but the feel of Harry enveloping him. His arms reached around Harry's back and pulled him in closer.
As soon as the moment had begun it was over, and Harry pulled away. It took Draco a moment longer to process what was happening, and as his eyes drifted back open he looked into Harry's.
"I'm sorry," Harry said, and his words had the effect of breaking a spell over Draco. He let go, numbly, and pulled his hands back to his sides. He said nothing, but silently waited for an explanation.
"It's this hex, or curse, or whatever someone did to me," Harry explained sheepishly.
Draco backed up against the wall and focused his attention out the window to the dark sky beyond. An awkward, pregnant minute passed by in silence while neither of them wanted to be the first one to say anything. Finally the dust of the unused classroom caught up with Draco, and he felt his nose tickling again. He jerked his head forward and covered his hand over his nose, trying to prevent the sneeze.
Harry caught this action and jumped backwards.
"Hold it in!" he exclaimed and held up his hands, afraid of what would happen if Draco were to sneeze again.
Draco fought it, but finally the sneeze came out.
Nothing happened.
After a moment Draco corrected his stooped posture and looked nervously at Harry. "Well? Aren't you—aren't you going to kiss me?" He pushed himself back against the wall. His heart was beating out of control again.
Harry blinked. Then he scratched his head. "I'm not being forced to," he realized, then his face lit up into a grin. "It must have worn off!" He laughed in relief, and Draco joined in. The laughter still sounded nervous in places, so it was an awkward laugh.
"Well," Draco said, racking his brain for the right segue. "That's...great. Just great, Potter." He did his best to smirk, hoping it was too dark for the other boy to see the pink stains on his cheeks. "I'll just be...going now." With that, he left the room.
Harry watched him go, still confused by everything that had happened over the past several minutes. A small part of him wanted to stop Malfoy from leaving and continue where they left off, but the larger, more rational part of his brain told him that could never happen.
Potions, hexes, and curses could occasionally happen. What had happened on this day had been unplanned, an accident that neither of them were responsible for. That was different than actually wanting it to happen. This is what Harry told himself as he headed to the library to call Hermione and Ron off of their search for a cure.
In seven year's worth of school rivalry, this was only one incident between Harry and Draco. Would it be the last? Would it have to be the last? Well, contrary to Professor Trelawney's teachings, the future remained yet unwritten, and riddled with possibility. And although neither boy ever breathed word of their encounter to anyone else, neither of them ever forgot it—or ever would.
~The End~
Note: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed The Slytherin Renaissance and Imaginectarine. I appreciate your feedback! There is a sequel in the works for Imaginectarine...and here's the update on SR: After Chapter 3, it took me a couple months to get back in the right frame of mind to work on part 4, and that part has given me some stumbling blocks. But I finally got to working on it again, and had it almost ¾ written, and then my disk lost the file path. _ I had a copy on another disk, but minus 6 pages single-spaced of newer material that is gone forever. I even took the disk to the computer lab where 4-5 lab workers were looking over my disk and through my fanfics filled with underaged boys in adult situations...needless to say I felt a little exposed, and they weren't able to save it. L I still have an idea about what I wrote the first time, and will get back to it in a few weeks after I'm done cranking out these 2 20-page papers for my classes. (Tonight I'm in between the two of them, and so I'm celebrating by taking the night off to write something for pure fun that has nothing to do with anything academic.) After I finish Chapter 4, Chapter 5 should be out soon after, because I already have over ¾ of it written already. J And this has been a long note. Please review! Reviews make me feel all warm and tingly inside. So tell me what you think!
--My Cat Frank