Author's Note: This was previously published in my personal website under the name Megumi-sensei. I am collecting all my fanfics on one site, so I have moved it here. No part of this fanfic's text has been edited, in order to preserve the words as I wrote them when I was young, naïve, and tormented.
This introvertion, supposedly by Duo Maxwell, was written in a moment of depression. Enjoy the dark.
I always anticipate the coming of the night, when the sunlight ebbs away to give way to the darkness. I like the dark. Most people fear it, when night comes and what befalls them is uncertain, but I...I embrace that uncertainty. The darkness is a refuge for me, so I can lie in wait for the enemy who passes by, walking , terrified of what might befall him in the blackness.
My enemies have a reason to fear the night, for the darkness is the womb from which the God of Death emerges, and death is very real, and sometimes very painful.
Death comes unexpectedly to most, but although it is sometimes stealthy it is also quick and merciful. My family was lucky to have had a surprise visit from him, and he left a quickly as he came, leaving us behind. Leaving me behind.
Many refuse to give in to death, but in the end they will beg him to take them from this world. They hang on to the very last threads of life, only to have their fingers entangled in the weave, and when they want to let go the knots make their fingers bleed.
Once upon a time I would have done just that. Hung on until ...Until what?
Solo, my dear friend, why didn't you wait for me to bring you back ? Or why didn't you take me with you ? Yes, I remember. You said you would be with me always. Sometimes when I bask in the darkness that is my comfort, I almost want to cry, because I almost see you there with me.
Try not to be angry when the God of Death takes your loved one away. Such is his existence. Death is the essence of his existence; there is nothing more to be explained. I learned that fairly early in life.
After all, am I not Shinigami ?
I try not to smile bitterly as I enjoy hiding in the blackness of the endless night. You might say I was trying to hide from myself; perhaps it is just that. Shinigami is his own death, after all.
Where shall I go when the morning comes and night steps back to give it passage unto the Earth ? For a while, I must try to smile, and believe in its brightness, when I can see where I stand.
Now don't get me wrong. I know there will come a time when the sun will take away the darkness forever, and the God of Death will no longer be needed; indeed, I am sure that it will. But can't you see ? That is why I cannot look forward to the new dawn.