Boom! The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters has been stuffed into a cannon and fired! Well I got this idea for a short fic in Maine. Ah, Maine on the 4th of July where you can see fireworks for miles on the beach, especially since every idiot that visits the state decides to bring over 300 sparklers or firecrackers and shoot them off at the same time. In the same place. On the same hotel lawn. Let's just say even before the fireworks started I saw quite a show! That gave me this idea! This takes place shortly before the events of Sleepover of Doom.
Fun on the Fourth
"Wow, I figured the Joes would love the Fourth of July but this is unbelievable," Scott whistled. True enough there were dozens of different kinds of firecrackers, sparklers and cannons all over the place.
"Yes I wonder if allowing the Joes to host Bayville's Fourth of July fireworks this year was the smart thing to do," Xavier winced as Bazooka nearly collided an extra large cannon into the nearby park gazebo.
"Well at least this helps settle some of the lawsuits against us," Jean told them.
Tripwire accidentally set off one firecracker and it whizzed into the sky, barely missing a building. "And helps open up the door to even more lawsuits against us," Xavier groaned.
"Charles you have to admit it was very nice of the Joes to try and help restore some of the peace between the Institute and the citizens of Bayville with this gesture," Hank remarked. "Their hearts are in the right place."
"HEADS UP!" Bazooka screamed and something exploded. "Sorry! My bad."
"Even if their aim isn't," Hank sighed.
"Well it's a nice evening for it," Jean said taking Scott's arm. "And most people are too busy having fun to hassle us today."
The sound of a fire engine went by. "That's because they're too busy fooling around with illegal fireworks to complain about the damage mutants cause," Scott sighed. "Is it those same idiots with the sparklers setting the trees on fire again?"
"Actually that's one's going to the hotel down the block," Remy pointed out.
"Oh yeah," Scott sighed. "Normally I'd want to go help but maybe it's best that we stay out of this for once."
"Yeah in the first place it don't look like anybody's hurt," Rogue observed the blaze that some drunken frat boys had made. "And second any damage done by idiots might get blamed on us!"
"WATCH IT TRIPWIRE!" Beach Head shouted.
BOOOM!
"Which idiots are you referring to?" Scott asked her.
"Don't worry that tree was pretty much dead anyway," Remy waved his hand. "Good thing the Joes have a few members that are experienced firefighters."
"I think with the Misfits on base they'd all be experienced firefighters by now!" Scott remarked.
"For crying out loud Scott I said I was sorry!" Angelica remarked as she walked up to them with Wanda. "I didn't mean to set your car on fire!"
"Yeah she was aiming for my brother," Wanda said. "And it's not like you didn't need new tires in the first place."
"So how's the barbecue going?" Jean quickly switched topics before Scott would be tempted to show them how miffed his was with his optic beams.
"See for yourself," Angelica pointed. There were X-Men and Misfits in a corner of the park. Jubilee was wowing a small crowd of humans and mutants with her firecrackers. Bobby had made several patriotic ice sculptures. Todd and Althea were doing several acrobatic tricks. "This was a good idea for us to put on an impromptu mini show for the town."
"Yeah Lance is putting on a good one right now," Wanda chuckled.
Lance was sitting with Roberto, Peter, Kurt, Amara, Xi, Spyder and the babies. "So anyway the colonists got so fed up with paying taxes for tea that they all decided to revolt," He told them proudly. "So they all went out to Boston Harbor and dumped all the tea in the river and swore from then on not to drink it anymore. That's why Americans drink coffee instead."
"I did not know that," Xi blinked. "American History is more complex than I realized."
"Yeah now here's the good part," Lance said. "The raid was organized by local brewer Sam Adams. Now he had this bright idea for all the guys to dress up like Native Americans so that the British would blame them instead of the colonists. They were gonna use them as scapegoats. As usual. However they didn't even look like Indians because they still wore their colonists clothes. In fact Sam Adams had sent out fliers around the neighborhood advertising the event. The British knew all about it."
"Well then why didn't the British stop the colonists from dumping the tea if they knew what was going to happen?" Amara asked.
"Simple," Lance told her. "Adams bribed them with free beer. In fact some of them got so drunk they joined in by dumping sugar into the river so they could drink the tea straight out of the harbor. Which was really stupid because of all the fish swimming in the river gave it a bad aftertaste."
Spirit and John were listening in on this as well. "I have to admit the kid's got my interest," John remarked.
"You should hear his theories on Thanksgiving and St. Patrick's Day," Spirit chuckled. "Those are very entertaining."
"Lance that's not quite what I read in the history books," Kurt remarked.
"Well of course not," Lance said. "A lot of the history books are published by places owned by tobacco companies. They're still miffed that it was beer that helped save the soldiers from dying at Valley Forge."
"I know I should be stopping this but I just can't," Spirit blinked. "It's too entertaining."
"Yeah it's like a historical traffic accident," John remarked. "You want to look away but you can't…"
"YEOWCH!" Shipwreck could be heard screaming. They looked up and saw Shipwreck running from Ororo. "COME ON STORM!"
"YOU WANT TO SEE FIREWORKS?" Ororo created lightning and zapped his butt. "I'LL SHOW YOU FIREWORKS!"
"YEOW!" Shipwreck screamed and ran around.
BOOM!
"TABITHA!" Ray shouted. "YOU BLEW UP MY HOT DOG!"
"I was trying to save your life," Tabitha said. "Kitty made it. It's one of her soy creations. Even you don't deserve food poisoning."
"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" Kitty shouted as she started to chase Tabitha. They knocked Jubilee over and her fireworks melted some of Bobby's sculpture.
"Okay that's it!" Bobby shouted and started throwing snowballs at Jubilee, who retaliated with her own powers.
"Bobby! Jubilee knock it off!" Jean shouted as she tried to restore order. "Stop it! Kitty! Calm down! Tabitha! Ororo please stop shocking Shipwreck! Ray no! Don't do that! Will you…TOAD! WAVEDANCER STOP MAKING OUT RIGHT NOW! DON'T MAKE ME SEPARATE YOU TWO!"
That was when Jean was hit from behind with a snowball. "THAT'S IT! NOW I'M MAD!" She chased after them.
"FIREWORKS TIME!" Bazooka cheered as he set off a few of them.
BOOM!
"Oops," Bazooka gulped. "There goes the gazebo."
"No wonder Roadblock and Logan took off to the bar," Xavier moaned as he pressed his lawyer's number on his cell phone.
"Well it's another successful Fourth of July," Lance grinned as more fireworks blew things up in several colors, Ororo chased Shipwreck around and several Misfits and X-Men fought with each other.
"So let me get this straight," Peter looked at Lance. "You celebrate your country's independence by blowing stuff up and burning things down?"
"Yup, what can be more American than that?" Lance grinned with pride.
"Some reason this does not shock me," Kurt chuckled as he watched the madness around him.