Disclaimer: So yeah, about not owning Hannah Montana, I don't.

Chapter 1: The Same Nightmare

There was a knock at the door and I ran to get it. It was a solider looking grim.

"What happened?" I asked looking worried.

"Lilly Oken?" The man asked.

I nodded wondering where on earth this would lead me.

The solider looked down as though he didn't want to tell me why he was here.

"What happened?" I asked again sounding more firm.

There was a pause and then suddenly the soldier broke down in tears.

"I-I'm s-so-rr-ry M'am." He said trying to dry his eyes.

My heart plummeted I knew at once what it was all about. I let the tears flow as I broke down.

"I'll see myself out M'am." He said trying to leave.

"Wait." I said and he turned around. "How?"

"Shot M'am, trying to save some of his mates. Died a hero." He said before leaving.

I closed the door and then collapsed at a chair next to the fireplace, sobbing my heart out. I couldn't believe that he was gone. My husband: Oliver Oken was dead.

The scene changed.

Suddenly I was out in the battlefield running with a heavy gun in my hands. I saw him run out to save someone.

"OLIVER!" I screamed out.

He looked around.

"LILLY!" He shouted back.

Then I saw it, a few members of the enemy were sneaking up behind him.

"Look out!" I screamed.

He looked around in time to see them fire. The bullets hit him in the chest, stomach and shoulder. Blood was everywhere. I could see as if in slow motion the scene taking place. The look on his face went from determination to horror. As the bullets hit him, he fell in slow motion. I ran up just in time to catch him.

"Oliver!" I said holding him tightly.

"Lilly, honey, you need to know something before I die!" He managed to choke out.

"Stop it!" I clung him closer. "You will not die!"

"You know I am, so please let me go."

"I could never Oliver!"

"You will have to, but before I leave you have to know that I love you and always have and I have always will." Oliver coughed.

"I love you too Oliver!" I said as tears started to appear in my eyes.

"Goodbye my love, I will always love you."

And with that he was gone. I just sat there crying and holding onto him.

I sat bolt upright in bed, dripping in sweat and my heart was racing faster than a racehorse.

Just a dream, just a dream. I told myself as I climbed back into bed. But I couldn't shake off the feeling of horror and dread.

***

"Maybe you should go see a doctor?" Miley suggested as she served me up a hot cup of tea.

Miley had come over the next day to see how I was doing. It had been 6 weeks since Oliver left for Iraq.

I shook my head.

"Lilly," Miley said while sitting down next to me. "You can hardly sleep, eat or even talk to people and you're deathly pale and thin. Maybe you should see someone?"

I shook my head again and looked down.

"Lilly please look at me! You've barely talked to me all day. What's going on?"

I kept looking down whether to tell her or not.

"Please Lilly?" She said putting her hand on my shoulder.

"I miss him." I said in a very quite voice.

Miley nodded.

"I do too."

"I just wish he could come home." I said still in that same quiet voice.

"Well all do." Miley whispered.

"I had that nightmare again." I said in a croaky voice.

Miley looked at me.

"I thought you said they'd stop?"

"I lied." I said in a voice barely audibled.

"Why?"

"I didn't want you to be worried."

Miley sighed.

"Lilly you know you can tell me anything right?"

I nodded but as I was I broke down.

"He was dead." I whispered.

Miley nodded.

"And I was holding him when he died. I was there when he died." I sobbed.

Miley looked up.

"Is this time the nightmare different?" She asked looking concerned.

"Well it started out the same, you know the solider coming to inform me that he was dead but then it changed. I was in the battle with him and then….." I shuddered. "I saw him being shot and then he died in my hands."

But then the tears overcome me and I collapsed, crying. Miley rubbed my shoulder.

"It's going to be alright." She kept repeating.

I just kept nodding. I couldn't really do anything else.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Mileys' phone vibrating. Miley reached over and got it. She read it carefully.

"I have to go." She looked at me. "Will you be okay here? I can cancel."

I shook my head.

"I'm alright."

"You sure."

"Yeah, go." I said.

"Alright." She grabbed her bag, looked at me one last time and left.

I just sat there not bothering to do anything. Staring at the place Miley had been. As I looked around I could see Oliver everywhere. It was very depressing.

That night I dragged myself up to bed. I didn't want to go to sleep but I needed sleep. I hadn't slept for the last 6 weeks. I was exhausted. I threw myself on my bed without even bothering to get undress into my pyjamas. Slowly, I decided to get my decided to get my pyjamas. I got up and got into my pyjamas. Then climbed under the covers of my bed.

I just lay on my bed thinking about Oliver. I was wondering what was happening in his part of the world. I just hope he was thinking about me like I was thinking about him. I knew what I had to do. I climbed out of bed, grabbed my dressing gown and slippers and ran back downstairs. I grabbed a piece of paper and pen and wrote:

Dear Oliver

I hope everything's alright with you. Me? Not so good. I'm missing you heaps. Every day I think about you. The memory of you, knowing that each day brings you back home, closer to me, keep me going.

Miley, she misses you too. She wants to stay alive for my sake. She's scared for me, I can see it her eyes. I know she means well and she as well as I all just hope this scariness will end when I see you on our doorstep.

Mum, Dad, your parents, Mr Stewart, Jackson – they all miss you too. They are scare for me too. They think I will do something drastic and let's face it; I probably would if anything happened to you.

Everyone thinks that you might not be able to come back, but I don't believe it. I KNOW you shall come back safely……………I hope.

I have a confession. I've been having these nightmares where you die. I just hope you don't. I hope these nightmares are just nightmares. Just please keep safe.

So that leads me to the reason for this letter. I miss you. I just want to know that you are out there, thinking about me, like how I'm thinking about you.

Anyway, I should finish this letter with some words of comfort and advice:

Be safe and come home safe (and in one piece). I can't wait for the moment when you are on our doorstep and let me throw myself into your arms.

Oliver, my dear. I love you and I always will.

Your Lilly

I looked at it. It looked pretty good. I wondered what Olivers' expression will be when he reads it. I looked at the time. It was half past 9. Would the post office be open? Isn't it a 24 hour one?

I ran downstairs, grabbed a jacket, exchanged it for my dressing gown and exchanged my shoes for my slippers.

WAIT!

I rushed back to the kitchen, found an envelope, folded the letter and placed a stamp on it. I almost turned the house inside and out, looking for the scrap of piece of paper that Oliver had written his address on it. I copied it onto the envelope and then ran back to the door. I ran to the post office, letter in hand, sprinting to the post office. It was open. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Half an hour later, I was out of the office, feeling a little calmer. The letter had been sent. It should arrive in the next few weeks. Hopefully it will reach Oliver quicker.

I came home, walking slowly this time, thinking about Oliver again. Remembering all the good times. I sighed. I missed those days.

I got back to home about 11. I threw my jacket on a chair in the kitchen and kicked off my shoes. I climbed the staircase very slowly, feeling exhausted. Each step seem like a mission. Soon I reached my loving bed. I climbed under the blankets and placed my head on the pillow. I punched the pillow into place before I got ready to go to sleep. I tossed and turned but I couldn't get it sleep.

So, once again, I just lay there, staring at the ceiling. I wondered what would happen now. Would Oliver be angry when he got my letter? Would he reply? All these kinds of questions chased through my mind. Slowly I decided I needed to go to sleep. I turned over on my side.

"Come back safe." I whispered as I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

A/N: So yeah this was a little idea I had for a story that's been on my mind for months so I decided to put it into action. A LOT more will happen in later chapters.

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