Basically, this fanfic is a parody of Advent Children, the awesome CGI movie created by Square Enix. This tells the UNtrue events that captivated the film, and stars the Final Fantasy VII cast.
PROLOGUE- A DATE WITH RENO.
To those who acquired Knights of the Round,
And wanted to see High-Res Cloud,
This Parody is for you.
"Huff huff huff!"
"Hurry up, I wanna see the sunset!" Nanaki shouted to his two cubs.
"But Dad, it's noon!" cried the one on his left, aptly named Ross.
"I'll make you do squats if you complain!" Nanki growled, and Ross became silent. The other cub, named Greg, snickered. The threesome then came up to those large, jagged cliffs, and Nanaki, being the proud showoff that he is, jumped unrealistically ten feet onto a jut sticking out of the cliff, and jumped another twenty feet to the next one. Surprisingly, his kids could do the same technique, even though they haven't been around as long as this fiercesome Poke-, I mean, lion-tiger guy. Just as they have reached the top, white seagulls flew over the cliff, and passed over the overgrown ruins of Midgar. Nanaki waited impaitently for Greg and Ross to catch up, then roared pwnsomely at the ruins.
"Ha ha, take that, HOJO!"
"Dad..."
Nanaki shook his head. "Oh, right. Kids, that's enough training for today. You wanna play soccer with Hojo's skull?"
"Yeah!"
"Whoopee!"
Nanaki grinned. "Alright then! Last one to the Science Department is a Mako addict!"
#
498 years earlier...
Somewhere near the Northern Crater, the Turk Reno flew skillfully with his Shin-Ra helicopter.
"Come on, Elena! If you don't find these aerial skills to be sweet-"
"Reno, for the last time, NO!" Elena shouted into her headset, somewhere down in the Crater. "I'm not going out with you! You're too immature!"
Reno sniffed. "That's just cruel, yo! At least I'm your age! Unless you got a thing for Rude or someth-"
"Reno, the chopper!"
Reno sighed. "I'm on it, yo." he said unenthustastically. He steered the helicopter into the Northern Crater's peak, where it very, very foggy. "Are you sure, Elena? You know, it could be a nice, romantic evening. With just you, me, a box of wine in a suite up at the Villa."
"Ooooh!" giggled Elena. "Now, when you put it that way- HUIH?! WHO THE HECK ARE THOSE GUYS?!"
Reno, not obviously sensing the danger, continued, "So, is that a yes?"
Tseng suddenly cut in. "Reno, you moron! Get the chopper out of here!"
Reno snorted. "Umm, excuse me Tseng, but me and Elena were making plans-"
"GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF THERE, RENO!" Elena shouted, just before gunshots were heard.
Reno sighed. " Fine, whatever! Hey, did I just hear gunshots?"
"YES!" screamed both Tseng and Elena, just before their radios cut out. The Shin-Ra chopper flew out of the Crater, and abandoning the two Turks in the process. Because of this, they were never seen in the movie again, except for two brief scenes.
TO BE CONTINUED...