Obi-Wan Kenobi gazed out at the smattering of stars that seemed to sparkle just beyond the viewing port of the merchant vessel Delano. The Jedi was stroking his beard with an inattentive air, his eyes distant as he waited for the return of his former Padawan. He paid no mind to the crew members checking the various status updates of the cargo ship, and they in turn ignored the Jedi. He did not have to wait long as the pressure sealed door behind him opened with a loud hiss.
"The ship is clear, Master," Anakin Skywalker intoned once he had stepped beside Obi-Wan, brushing sand-colored dust off his sleeves as he did so.
"No hidden assassins or stowaway mercenaries?" Obi-Wan inquired as a smirk played out underneath his ginger-blond beard, raising an eyebrow at the filthy state of his former apprentice.
"Not unless they're hiding underneath all the grime and dust covering this ship. Their cleaning droid must have a broken motivator," Anakin remarked with disgust clear on his face, his gloved hands combing through his hair to remove the filth that had accumulated on top. The action only drew a larger grin from the older Jedi.
"I don't think the Delano owns a maintenance droid. We picked this ship because it's least likely to be stopped by the Separatists. Dirt and all," Obi-Wan reminded Anakin as he cast a side-eyed glance in his direction.
"No, you picked this garbage can. I wanted a Corellian corvette that could outrun anything the Seppies could throw at us," Anakin argued with his characteristic obtuse bluntness. Obi-Wan raised his eyebrow at the use of slang normally used by clones, and he wondered if Anakin had been spending too much time with his troops. "Who needs all this sneaking around when they can't catch us in the first place?"
"Hence why I am in charge of this mission, and you are not," the Jedi Master reminded the Jedi Knight. "Speed does not trump caution, especially where Count Dooku is involved. He's far too clever to be outsmarted by something as simple as a fast ship."
Obi-Wan could practically hear Anakin roll his eyes, but the only verbal response he received from the Jedi was a grumbling, "Yes, Master." Obi-Wan placed a hand on Anakin's shoulder in an offer of sympathy before turning to exit the bridge of the merchant vessel, his former apprentice following close behind.
"How is our diplomat faring the journey so far?" Obi-Wan asked as he turned his head to smile pleasantly toward Anakin, walking alongside him down the corridor through the main body of the ship. He suspected Anakin's answer would display his annoyance at the politician, and Obi-Wan was not disappointed.
"The Ambassador acts as if he's never set foot in space before," Anakin answered, changing his tone in a mock imitation of the politician. "'When will my meals be brought to me?' 'Where are the servant droids?' 'Why doesn't my room have a window?' If these Phaffits are anything like their representative, I'm beginning to think they're not worth the trouble."
"Now, Anakin. It is unkind to speak such things regarding the Republic's newest ally and trade partner," Obi-Wan gently chided him, putting forth no real effort to rein in his former Padawan's difficult attitude. That was a battle lost before it had even begun.
"Why were we placed on babysitting duty, anyway? Because of some rumor that Dooku might have hired an assassin?" Anakin remarked with a dismissive flourish of his gloved hand.
"It was not some rumor – this information came from a very credible source," Obi-Wan responded firmly, driving the point home for Anakin with his next words. "The Council agreed it was serious enough to warrant our presence, and Chancellor Palpatine agreed."
Anakin's demeanor changed almost instantly. His shoulders straightened, his stride became more purposeful, and his tone took on a more serious timbre – all things that most people would miss, but Obi-Wan saw as obvious displays of respect and deference.
"Well. That's different. Obviously, if the Chancellor wants us here, it's important." Obi-Wan knew the invocation of the Chancellor's name was the surest way to shut down Anakin's dissention. He did not enjoy silencing Anakin, or using his personal connections to do so, but he had allowed Anakin to doubt the Council far too often. Obi-Wan intended to put a stop to it, especially now that Master and Padawan were once again on speaking terms.
Obi-Wan was fully aware he had to be careful in this endeavor. The Jedi Master had worked tirelessly to rebuild Anakin's trust after the event he had surreptitiously dubbed "the Hardeen Incident." As always, when he dwelled on that colossal mess of a mission, his thoughts always turned to one individual:
Cad Bane.
Obi-Wan had been on a diplomatic assignment in Takobo when the bounty hunter had appeared from nowhere and attacked the Jedi Master. After several violent collisions (almost entirely from the Duros' side), Obi-Wan had come to the slow and painful realization that Bane had also suffered from the Jedi's duplicitous task.
The bizarre night had ended with Obi-Wan holding a tearful Bane in his arms. Almost as equally surprising, Obi-Wan had let him go without pursuit. The Jedi had even given the bounty hunter money as recompense for the wounds he had been dealt (plus the Duros had looked as if he didn't have a credit to his name).
True to his word, Obi-Wan had not chased Bane – that night or the days to follow. The Council did not inform him of any prison breaks, and instead of soothing his mind, this instead roused his suspicions. He wondered if Master Yoda knew about his confrontation with Bane, and did not ask him to hunt down the bounty hunter because he did not trust Obi-Wan's judgement regarding the matter.
But why would Master Yoda believe such a ludicrous idea? Even if he did know about Takobo, whatever strange secession of hostilities had happened that night did not influence the Jedi's actions now. It had been a… wrinkle in the Jedi's otherwise pristine record. He intended for nothing like it to ever happen again.
"Do not worry, Anakin. Knowing our luck, this journey will be anything but uneventful," Obi-Wan reassured the younger Jedi with a grin, and he was warmed to see the smile returned.
"Masters Kenobi and Skywalker," hailed a deep, assertive voice from behind, and the robed pair stopped their advance to turn towards the source.
"Captain Engle," Obi-Wan addressed the man with a slight bow of the head, Anakin doing the same.
"We are on schedule and will jump to hyperspace momentarily," the captain, a short, dark green Rodian assured the two Jedi. "After that, I'm afraid there won't be much for the two of you to do. You can retreat to your quarters if you like, or patrol the ship as you see fit."
"Thank you for accommodating us, Captain Engle. We promise not to get in the way of you or your crew," Obi-Wan replied with his most reassuring smile. The captain nodded, dipped his head in respect to the Jedi, and retreated back to the bridge of the Delano.
"Huh. Don't see Rodian ship commanders very often," Anakin remarked with a half-smirk as they continued their journey toward the middle of the bulk freighter.
"Yes, well, I'm sure he's a very adept leader. Freighters of this size take a firm hand to run, and a mutiny in the middle of deep space is every captain's worst nightmare."
"What, are you an expert on cargo vessels too?" Anakin ribbed cheerfully, to which Obi-Wan could only shake his head and grin. He hadn't realized how much he had missed Anakin's playful teasing until he had been without it. "Why am I not surprised?"
"I merely pay attention to my surroundings. I can see how that would confuse you, my old Padawan," responded Obi-Wan in an amicable tone.
"Hey, who you calling old? I'm not the one sprouting white hairs at the temples," Anakin protested loudly, bringing the attention of several crew members as they walked past, causing Obi-Wan to wince.
"Point taken, Anakin. Point taken." Obi-Wan took that moment to turn down a side corridor, causing Anakin to pause in confusion.
"Master, where are we going? This is the way to the crew's quarters."
"And the guest quarters, if you remember."
"How could I forget? I could barely escape the Ambassador and his many, many opinions on our chosen mode of transportation. But that doesn't explain-"
"Given that I am such an old man, I'm sure you'll forgive me as I rest my ancient, weary bones while I leave the patrolling to younger, more energetic limbs," Obi-Wan explained with an glib tone of not-entirely feigned fatigue as he approached the door to his assigned quarters.
Anakin crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes as he glowered at the Jedi Master.
"You don't want to deal with Ambassador Yeetze."
"I don't want to deal with Ambassador Yeetze," Obi-Wan concurred, looking over his shoulder to give his former apprentice a fully-realized grin. "Besides, you have… finesse when it comes to politicians. I have no doubt your charms will win him over in due time."
"For a Jedi Master, you sure like to avoid confrontation," Anakin murmured, returning none of Obi-Wan's amusement as he opened the door.
"That's the key to a long life, my friend. Avoid conflict wherever possible," Obi-Wan quipped before closing the door with a press of a button, leaving Anakin to fluster in the corridor.
It wasn't that he enjoyed vexing his former apprentice for the sake of seeing his irritation (though it could be highly amusing). Obi-Wan was genuinely tired. The war was never-ending, he rarely had a moment to breathe between missions, and any chance to catch a quick nap was always warranted – something Anakin had yet to learn, as full of energy as he still was.
"I'm not that old…" Obi-Wan griped to no one as he sat on the narrow, stiff bed, pulling off his boots as he scrutinized his quarters. Cramped, musty, and with dull lighting that strained the eyes. A far cry from his large, temporary chambers in Senator Munbu's city estate, but at least it was private.
"Charming," the Jedi Master remarked as he wiped dust that felt more like ash from the bed cover. "Definitely not on par with the senator's expensive linens. He would be having kittens by the litter if he could see the state of this place."
Casting his thoughts back to that fateful night, Obi-Wan felt a strange sensation, almost of familiarity. True, his current lodgings were nothing like those on Takobo, but something served as a reminder of his time on the planet. But… what was it?
In an act that felt entirely ridiculous, but necessary nonetheless, Obi-Wan got on his hands and knees and looked under the small bed. Of course, there was nothing there but alarmingly large dust balls that appeared as if they could take on a life of their own at any moment.
"No krayt dragons there," the Jedi lightly joked, voice a little too strained for his liking. Obviously, no one was onboard who shouldn't be. Anakin had searched the ship, and no one was even aware of their presence onboard the merchant vessel besides captain and crew. Obi-Wan was jumping at shadows, still unnerved by his last excursion away from the Jedi Temple.
Pushing all unpleasant thoughts from his mind, Obi-Wan made do with the stiff bed, lying down fully robed as he tossed aside the lumpy pillow. Obi-Wan had stayed in enough suspect places to learn the hard way how many microscopic creatures could occupy one simple cushion.
Obi-Wan placed his arm across his eyes to block out the dull interior lights, planning to take a short nap before rejoining Anakin, but he was fast asleep before he could complete the thought.
The Jedi stirred at the sound of the doors to his quarters whooshing open and shut. Obi-Wan mumbled something unintelligently, on his side facing away from the door. He had no idea how much time had passed, but his body was heavy with sleep.
"What is it, Anakin?" Obi-Wan tried again, managing to form the words in a coherent sentence. "Yeetze being a handful?"
"Deh Ambassador is tucked away safe 'n sound, Kenobi."
Obi-Wan's eyes flew open and his body instantly came awake, as if a live wire had been jammed into his spine, and he was standing on the bed with his ignited lightsaber in hand before the bounty hunter had stopped speaking.
"You have an unfortunate habit of barging into other people's rooms," Obi-Wan rasped hoarsely, his sleep-laden voice ruining the authority he was trying to project.
"Can't yer old pal Bane drop by for a visit?" Bane mused smoothly, reaching up to tip the end of his flat cap toward the Jedi. His attire was the grey-and-blue uniform the crew wore, and though his gangly limbs were completely covered, he seemed almost naked without his signature wide-brim hat, wrist gauntlets, and rocket boots.
"We're not pals, Bane," the Jedi interjected harshly, instantly regretting his words and tone of voice as Bane's eyes slightly widened. But his crimson orbs quickly narrowed and his lip curled. Even as he put on his mask of cold ruthlessness, Obi-Wan could feel Bane's upset beneath, as if the Jedi had reached out and slapped him.
Well, this is going splendidly so far.
"Bane, look, you shouldn't be here. There is a-" The Jedi stopped speaking as it finally clicked in his head. "You're the assassin!"
"What did you think I was here for, Jedi? To see yer ugly mug?" Bane wrinkled his lips and bared his fangs unpleasantly. "Put deh lightsaber away, Kenobi. It won't do you any good."
"I'm afraid I'll have to disagree," Obi-Wan snapped in annoyance. What was Bane planning this time? Why had he foolishly sought out the Jedi when he was tasked with political assassination? "You do realize your plan failed as soon as you stepped through the door. I won't let you leave it unless it's in binders."
"As tempting as dhat sounds, I doubt it's goin' to play out dhat way. You see," Bane interjected with a smirk, pulling a datapad from his back-pocket and pointing at it with one of his long, blue fingers. "I placed gas dispensers all around deh good Ambassador's room." A grin spread across Bane's lips at the expression on Obi-Wan's face. "If I press dhis button, deadly florin gas will fill deh room, killin' yer charge." Bane pointed to another button, growling, "And in case you get any bright ideas, gas will also flood Yeetze's quarters if I don't send an encrypted signal in three minutes."
Obi-Wan glared angrily at the bounty hunter, but he could see no way to circumvent Bane's thorough precautions. He might be able to grab the datapad before the bounty hunter sent the signal. But could he subdue Bane – a skilled fighter whose entire arsenal revolved around besting Jedi – and reach the Ambassador before the gas was dispersed?
The Jedi Master extinguished his lightsaber. The risk to Yeetze's life was too great. It was obvious Bane wanted something – otherwise he would simply kill the Ambassador and be done with it. There was a chance the outcome could be tilted in the Jedi's favor, but Obi-Wan had a distinct feeling he was going to intensely dislike whatever the bounty hunter was playing at.
Bane's grin was full of smugness and he practically cooed, "Dhat's a good Jedi. Put away yer little toy and we can discuss dhis like two civilized gentlemen." His smile was all too knowing. Having Obi-Wan's words from that night on Takobo thrown back at him was unpalatable, to say the least.
"What do you want, Bane?" the Jedi Master voiced tiredly, feeling as if he was aging by the minute. Why did things like this always happen to him? Why didn't they happen to Anakin or Master Windu? Even Master Unduli and Master Fisto didn't find themselves in these ridiculous situations, haunted by a gangly shadow that would not let him be.
"Hmmmm. Dhat's the crux of deh issue, innit? What can you offer in exchange for Yeetze's life?" Bane wondered aloud as he inspected his curled finger.
"Is this… a negotiation?" Obi-Wan inquired with raised eyebrows. That sense of familiarity grew – this was not the first time Bane had put the Jedi on the spot, applying pressure to him for an unseen reason.
"You could call it dhat," Bane drawled pleasantly. "Unless you have fifty-thousand credits hidden in dhat robe somewhere," Bane continued with a suggestive smirk, "we got some bargaining to do."
"I'm afraid I gave the last of my credits to a spindly blue fellow I had hoped to never see again," Obi-Wan remarked dryly.
"Sounds rough," the Duros quipped with dripping sarcasm. "What else you got, Kenobi?" the bounty hunter inquired as he crossed his arms across his narrow chest, his tone playful as he showed his sharp teeth. "Two minutes. Clock's tickin'."
"Let me guess," Obi-Wan began, his eyes narrowed as he glared at the irritating bounty hunter. "You want another pardon from the Chancellor. Probably for a client, seeing as you almost always work alone and you don't have anyone that even remotely resembles a friend."
"Are you always this bitchy after a nap, Kenobi?" Bane growled, crimson eyes eerily bright in the dim glow.
"Only when I'm awoken by ill-mannered bounty hunters making vague demands." Obi-Wan took a deep breath, briefly closing his eyes as he forced his nerves to settle. He was acting not like himself, something that tended to happen when he was around this particular mercenary.
"Just tell me why you're here. It's clear you want something specific, though what it could be I cannot fathom." What benefit could be gained from trying to extort the Jedi? Obi-Wan didn't have credits or items of value. Perhaps the bounty hunter wanted to use his seat on the Jedi Council to his advantage? But how would that-
"Can't you?" Bane asked in a low voice, the teasing quality absent as the grin faded from his face. "You can't think of a single ting I could want from you?"
A strange feeling began to grow in Obi-Wan's stomach, as if he were standing on the edge of a precipice, looking down into its dark, fathomless depths. The bounty hunter's serious tone was far more alarming than his mischievous one. "No. I haven't a clue."
"Use yer imagination, Jedi. If you don't got the coin, what else can you offer me to keep my finger off deh trigger?" Bane said with a curl of his lip, a blue finger pointing to the datapad in his hand. Obi-Wan's forehead crinkled between his eyebrows as he felt the discomfort tighten in his gut.
"Loth-cat got yer tongue, Kenobi?" The words were playful but his timbre was not. The bounty hunter was still watching the Jedi with an intense carefulness. "Thirty seconds."
"You've gone mad," Obi-Wan knew what a flustered mess he was becoming as his words faltered, but his ability to speak eloquently had completely fled him. "Are you… are you suggesting…"
Bane raised an eyeridge as he commented, "Suggestin' what? Why are you flounderin', Kenobi?"
"I am not floundering." Obi-Wan's vexation only grew more as heat filled his cheeks, which drew a grin from Bane and made the Jedi Master consider the benefits of falling upon his own lightsaber.
Bane looked down at the datapad and commented in a conversational tone, "Ten seconds."
"Be reasonable, Bane," Obi-Wan pleaded, his eyes desperately searching Bane's for any sign of compassion as time ran out. There was none to be found.
"Five seconds."
"All right!" Obi-Wan's panic got the best of him as he shouted. "Whatever you want, Bane! I'll give you whatever you want. Just don't…" The Jedi watched in horror as the bounty hunter's pull finger remained poised above the button.
"Anything, Kenobi?"
"Yes, anything!" Obi-Wan's voice cracked as he begged in complete desperation.
"Dhis fella must be really important," Bane mocked as he pulled his bony fingers away from the datapad, pulling his arms back into a resting position across his chest, "for deh great Kenobi to offer me anyting I want."
Obi-Wan simply stared at the bounty hunter as he tried to catch his breath, his hair falling onto his forehead. He couldn't believe it. Bane hadn't stopped the signal from being sent.
"But… why? I agreed to your terms. The Ambassador-"
"-Is fine," Bane interrupted with a careless wave of his long-fingered hand. "I may have exaggerated when I said deh signal needs to be sent every three minutes. Take a breath, Kenobi. You look like yer about to faint."
"You… lied to me," Obi-Wan commented in a tone purposefully void of emotions as he attempted to slow his heartbeat. He wouldn't give the Duros the satisfaction of knowing he had gotten under his skin.
"Don't feel so nice, does it?" the bounty hunter responded as he stared at the Jedi from under the brim of his cap. "Puttin' yer trust in someone only to have 'em yank yer legs out from under you."
"And I apologized for that, Bane. Did I not?" Obi-Wan pointed out as he watched Bane with wary annoyance as he ran a hand through his hair. Had Bane decided to return because he had deemed Obi-Wan's attempts at making amends insufficient?
"Oh, you did, which I appreciate mightily. I just needed to make sure you were serious 'bout savin' yer politician," Bane remarked before hooking the datapad onto his belt loop, out of reach but within sight as a constant reminder of the bounty hunter's hold over Obi-Wan.
"Do you think this is some kind of game?" the Jedi asked incredulously. "Is this amusing to you?" The look on the Duros' face indicated that, yes, he found it greatly enjoyable, and Obi-Wan sputtered, "Well… I am… not your plaything. You cannot interrupt my life whenever it pleases you just because of what happened… that night. It doesn't mean…" It doesn't mean anything, Obi-Wan wanted to say, but it would have been a flat-out lie and the bounty hunter would have seen right through it.
"Doesn't mean what? Dhat we shared some sort of profound moment? Dhat you let me go 'cause yer sweet on me?" Bane's amusement seemed to only grow as he mocked the Jedi. "Relax, Kenobi. I ain't here to stake a claim on your maidenhood. Although," the bounty hunter drawled. "If the idea of a rough 'n tumble doesn't tempt you, dhen you shouldn't have a problem sayin' so."
Obi-Wan could only blink stupidly, wondering how things had escalated from the ridiculous into the insane. "That kind of statement doesn't even warrant a response. It's beyond absurd." Despite his protests, Obi-Wan was aware of how unseemly warm his cheeks were. What was wrong with him? He hadn't acted so flustered since he'd been a young Padawan.
"Come now, Kenobi. Don't deny you haven' thought about it. Not even once?" Bane sneered as pushed off from the wall, no longer leaning against it as he took a step toward the Jedi. "All dhose times we butted heads? You were obsessed, and not by a sense of duty or justice. No, I think you were drive by a far more… baser emotions."
"Don't flatter yourself, Bane. You were a considerable threat to the Republic… and still are," Obi-Wan added, causing the Duros to raise his brow in amusement. "It is the workings of an obscene mind that would believe anything else."
"Obscene, eh?" Bane asked with a tilt of his head, taking another step closer as he dragged his crimson eyes slowly down the Jedi's body. "Maybe dhat's exactly why yer so keen on me." Bane looked up into Obi-Wan's face after they had completed their examination, making the Jedi feel as if he were under a sharp-toothed microscope.
"Dhat's why you got off pretendin' to be Hardeen," Bane grinned while raising a blue finger, pressing it against Obi-Wan's chest to drive him his point. "You liked bein' crude and nasty. Takin' whatever you wanted without askin' permission. Cut loose from yer stuffy order, you tasted somethin' you'd never had before. Freedom." Bane finished with a leering smirk that made Obi-Wan's blood boil.
"You're delusional if you think I enjoyed being a lowlife criminal," the Jedi Master snapped while slapping aside Bane's hand, which caused the bounty hunter to grin absolute smugness. "Marinating in the dredges of society is your pleasure – not mine."
"Now yer getting the idea," Bane teased mercilessly, his hot breath tickling Obi-Wan's ear as he spoke near his shoulder, causing the Jedi to shiver. "But yer too proud to admit deh truth, even if I agree to be on my way if you say deh words. Ambassador unharmed."
Obi-Wan waited, unaware that he was holding his breath. "That's all you want? For me to confess to a lie?"
"It wouldn' be no lie, Kenobi," the Duros teased while walking in a circle around the Jedi, and Obi-Wan had to remind himself that he still had his lightsaber and the bounty hunter appeared to be unarmed. If Bane had wanted to physically harm him, he would have done so already.
It was a cold comfort, and he still felt as if the bounty hunter were sizing him up for dinner.
"Whatever gets your jollies off, Bane," Obi-Wan replied stiffly, highly aware of how close the bounty hunter was every second. He could feel his breath on the back of his neck. "What do you want me to say?"
The bounty hunter didn't respond at first, and the Jedi slightly turned his head to catch him in his peripheral vision. Bane took that moment to lean forward, his lips close to Obi-Wan's ear as he instructed:
"I want you to admit dhat, despite yer saintly airs and yer righteous posturing, despite how many years you've learned to repress yer urges," Obi-Wan shivered despite himself, hot breath warming his ear, as Bane finished with a growl, "you want, no, you crave… Duros dick."
Obi-Wan couldn't speak. He couldn't think. His face was frozen in a mask of shock. But Bane didn't stop there to the Jedi's absolute horror:
"You want to ride me like a speeder into deh sunset. You hunger for my long, nimble fingers to roam your body. You lust for-"
"Shut up, just – Shut. Up!" Obi-Wan shoved away the bounty hunter – not hard enough to knock him to the ground, but forcing him to step back out of the Jedi's personal space. "You… you… vile, unscrupulous, perverted and depraved-" Obi-Wan stuttered angrily, his hands clenched into fists at his side to keep from lashing out again. The Jedi's outburst only fueled the bounty hunter's amusement.
"You kiss yer mother with dhat mouth? I'm blushin' green." The Duros actually chuckled; an expression Obi-Wan couldn't recall ever hearing come from the man. He didn't seem the least perturbed that the Jedi had pushed him away. "You Jedi are wound too tight. I've met protocol droids less rigid dhan you, Kenobi." Bane's lip curled in a teasing manner as he backed away, looked the Jedi up and down, and said, "You could use a good fuck."
Obi-Wan's lightsaber was alive in his hands as if by its own volition, and he had launched himself at the bounty hunter before he fully realized what he was doing.
A/N: Hang on to your wide-brimmed hats, because the next (and final) chapter is going to get very steamy. Last warning: mature content ahead.