Just To See Him HappySummery - Because she loved him, she stood by his side. Because she loved him, she strived to protect him with every fibre of her body. Because she loved him, she sacrificed it all. She gave up, for him, the only thing worthy of his affection. Why? Simply enough, just to see him happy.
- - -
Kagome walked through the lone forest, hair
soaked from the hot springs and the gleaming Sacred Jewel strung
around her neck. She felt happiness surge through her body, a smile
engraved clearly on her clean face. Seeing the look on her face made
it hard to believe that just a few hours ago, she and the others had
been in the deadliest battle of their lives. After so many setbacks,
after so much blood had been shed, they had done it.
They were all finally free.
Naraku had finally been destroyed; and with a sacred arrow, no less. But it was not Kagome's arrow that was shot into his cold, bitter heart, but that of Kikyo's. She hid from them within the cold walls of Naraku's illusory palace, only showing her face to send the half-demon off to his well-deserved hell. She was the one who had succeeded in the task they could not finish.
Wounded, but grateful, they all retreated back to the Kaede's village, along with Kikyo.
Kagome's smile slowly faded. Kikyo. She saw the look on Inu Yasha's face when he first sighted her. She could practically feel his heart split open with glee; crushed, she looked away. Even after the deceased priestess had betrayed him, hurt him, and almost nearly killed him, he still held deep feelings for her. She didn't question why he still felt that way. She was familiar with the pain and the hurt, but still managed to love him.
But she couldn't get depressed now, not after what happened today. Miroku was finally rid of the horrid hole in his right hand. Sango's brother was now free to die peacefully. Koga had avenged all of his comrades that had perished in Naraku's hands. And Inu Yasha had finally gotten Kikyo.
It troubled her to think of them together, but she could not obliterate the genuine happiness she had witnessed on his face.
"So we meet again, Kagome," The greeting sent shivers down her spine, breaking her train of thought. As harsh winds blew around her, she cursed herself for not thinking to bring her bow and arrows along.
"Kagura," She snarled, almost Inu Yasha-like.
Kagura smirked, Kanna by her side. "I see you've picked up a thing or two from that mutt," Kanna stepped out from beside her, sticking out her mirror. "And speaking about Inu Yasha, I think there's something you should see,"
Kagome backed away from the mirror, knowing full well the extent of its power. She was rewarded with a growling laugh. "You foolish mortal, this mirror cannot harm you, or anyone else, for that matter. We are no longer slaves of that disgusting bastard. Take a good look into the mirror. I think you will be quite interested to see what is happening this very moment."
Kagome stepped up before she knew what she was doing. Her eyes widened and she put a hand to her aching heart. And for a moment, her lungs forgot their purpose.
Inu Yasha. Kikyo. Together. The held onto each other beneath the Sacred Tree. They didn't speak, but the looks of distressed longing in their eyes screamed at her heartbreakingly. She watched on, and then finally, they spoke for the first time since she'd spied on them.
She strained her ears to hear what they were saying, but was rewarded with mute mouthing. Desperately, she tried to read their expressions. Kikyo pulled apart from him for a while, then suddenly, their faces inched closer and closer until their mouths touched. Passionately, they kissed, all the more breaking Kagome's weak heart. Quivering, she touched the glass; as if to make it all just disappear.
At that instant, she knew her darkest fear had been realized. She tried hard to pull away from the haunting image, but her eyes seemed to be glued to the mirror. And before she could stop herself, rivers of tears flowed down her face.
Oh, Inu Yasha…
Kikyo's faithful Soul Collectors swarmed around them. Every now and then, one would move smoothly towards their master, guiding an innocent soul into her forged body. She was surprised when Inu Yasha showed no distaste to their lack of inclusive privacy.
"Wretch, isn't she?" Kagura said, feeling very little pity at the broken girl before her now. "I never liked her." After a pointed look from her sister, Kanna withdrew her mirror.
"Just thought you may like to know what that conniving witch has been doing. I'm sorry." And with a sweep of a graceful feather, they flew off, leaving her there weeping.
- - -
Held very close to his heart was his Kikyo. After so long a wait, she was finally released from Naraku's chains.
"I'll never let you go again, Kagome…" Inu Yasha whispered in her hair. All thoughts stopped short. Kagome? He glanced down at Kikyo, praying that she didn't hear him. Thankfully enough, she didn't show any recognition of his previous words. He held her nearer, as if to eraser his earlier mistake.
"Oh, Inu Yasha," Kikyo's hand reached up a caressed his cheek. "Finally, we may now embrace death together. As one."
His body froze. Is that how it was going to end? Suddenly letting death overtake him, after he had just won the right to live again? He ran a clawed hand through his hair and sighed.
"Kikyo, I have to think about it." Inu Yasha applauded himself mentally on getting her name right that time. She pulled away from his arms.
"Isn't this what you want? To be with me?" Hurt traced her voice. She stepped away and turned her back to him. She touched the rough bark of the Tree, her mind racing. Everything was like a replay of that faithful day fifty years ago. The day he agreed to become fully human. How her heart soared that day!
"What will you do now, Inu Yasha? Now that the Sacred Jewel is whole again?" Kikyo savored the touch of the leaf in her palm. "Will you wish to be a fully demon? Or perhaps a human? Or will you wish to enter the realm of the deceased with me?"
"I- I don't know…" He said hesitantly. "For once in my life, I'm happy. I have friends that aren't scared of me. People don't run away after just a glance of me. Couldn't you live again? With me?"
Her form shrugged slightly. "I cannot, Inu Yasha. The longer I live, the more souls I must collect. The more people," She finally turned to him. "That must die on my behalf." He stared at her sad face. He hadn't thought of that. The images of her Soul Collectors were erased from his view, even though they gently glided along side them.
"Isn't there a way for you to obtain your own soul?"
Silence surrounded them. They both knew the answer. Many would have to suffer in order for one to survive. But then again, so many others would be in great despair if the other were to perish, also. Either way, harm would come to someone.
"Please, just give me some time," Inu Yasha stepped towards her.
"Please," He begged in a hushed tone. He lowered his head until two sets of lips touched, ever so gently. His mind pounded with intense desires, but his heart whispered other praises. It didn't feel as right as he knew it should've, but he didn't stop.
Shock ran through him. The moment their lips collided, Kagome's cheerful face imaged in his eyes. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the snake-like Soul Collectors gathered around Kikyo. "I must go for now, Inu Yasha. Till we meet again,"
With a final peck on the cheek, he allowed her to soar among the creatures. He thought of going straight back to the village, but fought against it. His eyes would betray him. That brazen monk would detect it the moment he arrived. He hated the idea of sharing the memories of his perfect evening with anyone else.
A leisurely breeze brushed against the old Tree's branches. He smelled the aroma of cooking dinners, fragrant flowers, and even the slight smell of his friends. But he knew no matter how hard he tried; he would never be able to distinguish Kikyo's mild scent. He could still remember the way she smelled of calming herbs and of the sweet rouge she would apply to her lips.
At that instant, he found himself immediately comparing her fragrance to that of Kagome's. Hers was more of a lively scent, torn between smelling like honey and lilies. Maybe both. Inu Yasha remember vividly the way he first insulted her odor, remarking on it harshly. He grinned slightly at the way she would huff away at his well-played lies.
"What the hell is wrong with me?" He asked angrily to himself. "Why am I thinking about her?"
He laid down, finding comfort on the lush, green grass. Kagome… it's going to be especially hard to say good-bye to her. What's gunna happen to her once I'm gone? Maybe she'll go back to her own era. It's about time she went back. Koga's vain laughter rang through his ears. Or maybe she'll go running back to that idiot.
He shook that thought away. He'd be damned before he let that mangy Wolf touch her. He sighed for the second time that evening. Why do I care so much?
He felt no uncertainties that Koga wouldn't treat her right, having observed the many times he had lavished her with declarations of absolute adoration and loyalty. But he couldn't deny the sickening sensation in his stomach. He, regrettably, felt like punching something hard at the mere thought of them being together.
He sighed. That was the third time. He stood, brushing the blades grass that attached themselves onto his haori. He quickly decided to head back before dawn peeked onto the night sky, the thought of punching Koga's cocky face in repeating in his head. He laughed against the cool night.
- - -
Utensils clanked against bowls, the fire roared at every piece of wood fed into it. Their supper went by silently, tension apparent in the air. After eating, they all separated; Miroku, Shippou running along with Inu Yasha while Kagome and Sango (with Kilala resting upon her shoulder) took a short stroll.
"What's wrong, Kagome? You're usually not this quiet." Sango cornered Kagome. She wasn't stupid and sensed the nervousness around her.
She glimpsed away, knowing that her words would be useless if she expressed anything that said otherwise. "I- I don't know what you mean," She hated to lie to her friend, but felt that it was best if she kept it to herself. She knew Sango was having romantic troubles also, unsure about how to approach the monk with her feelings.
Sango gave her a look of disbelief. "I know you better than this, Kagome. Now, please, tell me." Her eyes pleaded for the truth, hoping Kagome would cave in to her demand. "I may have been brought up by fighters, but I might be of some help."
Giving in, she retold the events of the cruel night with despair clinging onto every word. She enlightened her friend with Inu Yasha and Kikyo's warm cuddle and their tender kiss. By the end of her story, she, as well as Sango, was very well near tears.
"Kagome… I'm so sorry," She pitied the girl that was targeted by the devastating effects of unrequited affections. She ached for the girl that fell in love with a man from an entirely different time. "Oh, Kagome…"
They wallowed in each other's company, sharing their fears in all ways. Kagome revealed her true misery, while Sango confessed at her confusion. "What am I going to do, Kagome?" She stroked Kilala's thick fur. "He- he barely even glances at me. He's always around those other village maidens. He never gives me the time of day… How am I supposed to tell Miroku how I really feel?"
The tips of Kagome's lips tugged up. "Trust me, Sango. He feels the same way. You should see the way he stares at you at night, while you're sleeping. You should see the angry glint in his eyes when you get even the slightest scratch. You should've seen how jealous he had gotten when that lord proposed to you." She smiled at Sango's flushed face. "If that isn't love, Sango, then I don't know what is."
They looked upwards at the blanket of stars overhead. A shooting star streaked across the night, brightening it for a short while. "I guess there's only one thing I can do…" Kagome started softly.
"What?" Sango turned in astonishment. "Kagome… you can't do that! I mean, isn't there another way?" Water welled in her eyes once more. She had already lost a father and a brother; did she have to lose her best friend as well?
She thought long and hard. Was there another way? They both knew the answer"I have to, Sango. It's the only way Inu Yasha will be happy. And if he's happy, I am, too." She picked at a tiny bud, sprouting only a few inches off the ground. "Besides, if we did work out, who's to say he would forget about Kikyo? I'd be afraid that every time he looked at me, he would be seeing someone else."
"But, Kagome, this is insane! You can't- you shouldn't!" Sango argued feverishly. She closed her mouth. Love did crazy things to people. She knew that. "Please, think about this. You'd be giving up so much."
"Yes, I would. But I would be giving so much more. This is their chance! Their chance at a life they couldn't have fifty years ago." Kagome stared at her folded hands. "I love him, Sango…I really, really do."
- - -
"Spill it, Inu Yasha! You were with Kikyo, weren't you?" Shippou crossed his tiny arms on his chest.
"Feh, so what if I was?" Stubbornly, Inu Yasha followed Shippou's position. He knew it was a bad idea to tag along with those two!
The monk heaved a sigh. "Inu Yasha, you fool. Do you have any idea what you're doing?" He settled himself atop a large boulder, his staff close at hand.
Inu Yasha bared his fangs in angry puzzlement. "What the hell are you talking about? I'm not doing anything wrong!" He declared positively. "And stay outta my business, Miroku. Unless it slipped your mind, I'm not the one having problems with a certain slayer." He raised an eyebrow, a smirk on his face.
"This isn't about me," He replied. "This is about you and Kagome." He ignored the glare he received at the comment, as well as the crude question that came after it. "Don't pretend that you don't know what we're talking about."
Shippou gave his two cents in. "Yeah, Inu Yasha. Do you have any idea how much this is affecting Kagome?" The kitsune-child jumped up to sit beside hanyou. As much as he hated to admit it, Kagome, the woman he looked up to as an older sister, possibly even a mother, had fallen in love with the willful Inu Yasha.
"I- shut up, you two! I know what I'm doing,"
"Then you know that every time you run off with Kikyo, Kagome suddenly grows quiet and goes off somewhere alone to cry? That Kagome is the one who sets out the bowl of warm ramen and a blanket when you come back? How could you be so blind as to not see that Kagome loves you?" Miroku stared at him forlornly. "Kikyo is dead, Inu Yasha. You have to accept that."
"Fifty years is a long time… it's time for you to move on." Shippou watched his expressions change. Despite his young age, he knew knowledge well beyond his years. His father, a great and powerful Fox Demon, had taught him many things. Only the lucky ones, he had once said wisely, would have the opportunity to fully understand and accept what love truly was. Shippou glowed with pride at the thought of his parents' final minute together, wrapped in each other's arms.
Inu Yasha shook off their words and cried out, "I said shut up! I don't want to talk about it! Kikyo may be dead, but I love her!" The statement tasted bitter on his tongue, but the anger and disappointment washed it away.
"Just don't anything stupid. And please, we've all felt enough pain. Make sure your final decision will be one where no one gets hurt." Miroku and Shippou walked by him, letting their closing remark sink in. Slowly, they drifted off to sleep, Shippou snuggling close to Kagome while Miroku gave one last longing glance at Sango before closing his weary eyes.
Make sure your final decision will be one where no one gets hurt.
Inu Yasha prayed that night.
- - -
The sun came up too quickly for Miroku's taste, but nonetheless, prepared to help out the villagers. He carried out buckets of water, making sure to pass by the Demon Slayer on the way. He would beam slightly as he did so, almost dropping a bucket or two.
He kept his eye on her, glaring at the young men who took second glances as she walked by. He also stayed clear from the young maidens. He found no need to sidetrack himself, seeing as his hands were already filled with errands and the self-designated assignment to keep prying eyes (and hands) away from his Sango.
Sango, on the other hand, made sure not to make eye contact with him, afraid what her eyes might reveal. Why was this so hard? All she had to do was go up to him; expose her awkward secret, then that would be the end of it! She moaned inwardly; that was easier said than done.
She made sure to distract herself, aiding Kaede with her disturbed patients. Tolerantly, she wrapped gauzes, applied ointments, and soothed internal pains being well prepared for such ailments. Alas, this task didn't take more than a few hours to accomplish.
She decided, then, to just help out the women who were out gathering the blossoming crops. She placed where she was sure she could gaze at Miroku from time to time.
"Hey, Sango!" A voice called out to her. Miroku, Shippo, and Inu Yasha stood at a distance. Excusing herself, she ran of to join them. "We need some help cutting down some firewood. Want to lend a hand?"
She was grateful for their suggestion, her back sore from bending. "Just let me grab something," They both nodded, know perfectly well what she needed. With her large boomerang attached to her securely, Kilala also close at hand, they walked off into the densest part of the woods. But as they walked on, she realized that a member of their group was not there.
- - -
As they did their job, Inu Yasha growled with irritation. Kagome, Kagome, Kagome! She was all he thought about for hours now. Her laugh, her smile, even the way she bit her lip when she was in deep thought. What the bloody hell was wrong with him!
This was like the time he was infatuated with Kikyo. Blood drained from his face. This was exactly how it all started out. First, he couldn't sleep. Then he couldn't eat. Then his mind was consumed by all of her. He did crazy things, things even madmen wouldn't do. Thankfully, he managed to stop himself before he did anything too drastic.
This couldn't mean that- it couldn't possibly mean that- oh, God. He was in love. But not with the woman he had wished for so long ago, lusted for so many nights. Why didn't he realize this sooner?
But wait, he stopped dead in his tracks. Did she feel the same way? Miroku has mentioned time and time again that she did, but Miroku said many things. There was no real way to ensure that she did lo-lov- no. What a fool he was. The mere thought of her having any sort of affection for him was laughable.
After all, he had nothing worthy enough to possibly offer.
- - -
By nightfall, Kagome was set. She had spent most of the day busying herself with chores, trying hard to disregard her thoughts.
"What was that for?" Sango asked, surprised when Kagome suddenly engulfed her in a tight hug. Her eyes widened. No… not today. It was too soon! "Oh, Kagome…" She cried on her friend's shoulder.
Kagome, unfazed, moved to Miroku. "Just tell her." She whispered in his ear before she had pushed away. Then bending down on both knees, she stretched out her arms wide. And without hesitation, Shippou buried himself in them.
"You take care of everyone for me, okay?"
Her request baffled him. "Are you going away?"
"Yes," She replied him, but she was distracted and a faraway look overtook her eyes. The boy's cries met her ears and she regretted her distant attitude towards him. "I might be away for a while. But don't worry, okay? Inu Yasha will watch over you. So will Sango and Miroku, alright?" She choked slightly at the hanyou's name.
"When will you come back?" The innocence in his eyes glowed with curiosity. "Will you bring me back some more of that cho- chococo-?"
Kagome laughed despite her current situation. "It's called chocolate. And I'll have to see."
Shippou nodded appreciatively. "I'll miss you, Kagome. Be careful, okay? Maybe I should come with you. Just in case,"
She laughed again, joined in by Sango and Miroku. "But who will stay here and play with Kilala? She's gunna miss her favorite friend." Sango bent down and picked up him up in her arms. "Why don't you go off and play now? I'm sure Kilala's looking for you."
He left, bushy little tail swishing in the air. Sango pulled her arms tight around her friend for what she feared was the last time. "I'm going to miss you. So, so much," And with that walked away, sniffling. With an interested expression, Miroku trailed her mutely.
The wind picked up around her, and her body pulled her towards the well, completely unaware that she was not alone. She's here. I can feel it. Without a doubt, there stood Kikyo, Soul Collectors and all. Kagome had to admit she was beautiful. The moon reflected against her pale face, giving her a more ethereal appearance. Her eyes didn't shine with the usual looks of disgust or hopelessness, but that of a tragic past. Was she this beautiful back then?
Meanwhile, Shippou used the tall bushes to veil himself, Kilala at hand. Is Kagome going home? They had been playing near there when Kilala sniffed out her scent. Curious, they sought her out. Now they watched her closely, sighting Kikyo as well. Shushing Kilala's soft howl, he urged themselves nearer.
"So, you've come, human girl. What is it that you want?" Kikyo asked before she had even treaded towards the clearing.
Kagome held her chin up, hoping that it would help stop the quivering of her entire body. "I am offering you a chance to live again. To escape death."
Kikyo raised an eyebrow questioning her strange proposal. "You know the penalty, don't you? But why?" She gave a short, haunting laugh. "Do you love him, girl?"
Usually, she would turn away in embarrassment, but her fear was much too controlling. "Yes. As do you. That's why I'm doing it. Please, just do it…" At her weak groveling, Soul Collectors swiftly assembled together near her. They all started to glow with an ominous air.
"Are you sure about this? There is no going back."
What is Kagome talking about? Shippou noticed the odd gathering of the demon serpents. He hit his head in understanding. Oh, no! Kagome's making a big mistake! "Kilala, we have to get Inu Yasha, quick!" They sniffed him out, running like mad.
Still oblivious to their presence, Kagome closed her eyes, Inu Yasha directly coming to mind. Then the way he beamed so heartbreakingly at the sight of his past love streaked by. A single tear sprang from her eyes. I love you. "Take my soul. I have no need for it, not anymore."
"Very well,"
Flashing lights emitted around her, ruthless ribbons of wind sweeping past her with Kikyo's minions raising her up. Pain panged in Kagome's chest and she cried out loud. One by one, they swept by her, each taking a small portion of her soul.
Nearby, Inu Yasha watched in horror. If not for the barrier, he would've interrupted their transaction.He used his faithful sword to attempt to thwart through it. It did not shatter. "Kagome!" He yelled out, as Kagome's eyes grew fixated, then dulled. But before that had happened, he heard a very faint call of his name.
He knew that it was Kagome's last, dying word.
Still piercing his blade through the barrier, he watched Kikyo fly off again. The second she did, the shield evaporated. He rushed to Kagome's side. "Kagome…" He buried his face in her silky hair, still stained with the scent of her shampoo. "Why?" His question was left unanswered.
He put his ear against her heart, desperate for the sound of a heartbeat. Yet again, he was left unanswered. "No, this can't be happening. Please, come back to me, Kagome. Please… I love you."
He hoped. And waited. Still, nothing came from it. "My Kagome, my precious, precious Kagome…"
Shippou came towards them slowly, Sango and Miroku by his side. They gasped at Kagome's lifeless form and Inu Yasha's tear-streaked face. "No…" Sango collapsed, hands covering her face. "She told me- I could've stopped- it's all my fault." She sobbed.
Miroku supported her limp body. "You couldn't have stopped her. No one could. This was her choice."
"But why?" She screamed angrily.
"Because," He took another look at the heartbroken hanyou. "People will do anything for the ones they love." He was now looking at her, searching for any affection directed at him. Scared, she lowered her gaze before he could spot anything.
"Kagome…" They stepped back, bystanders of the touching sight. "It was just like yesterday I first saw you, beautiful as ever. I couldn't believe how you stuck by me. Thank you. I wish there was a way I could repay you for all of it. I wish I could've told you how I felt before all this happened.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you. I didn't mean to. I was being stupid. But I swear to you, I will find a way back to you. I won't lose you." Though he whispered all of this into her ear, they heard every word. Even Miroku couldn't help but weep over the sad pair.
"Here, Inu Yasha," Held in Shippou's tiny paw, was the gleaming Jewel. They had all just realized that it wasn't around Kagome's neck. "Make a wish."
Gazing at all of them slowly, he bobbed his head. Cradling the girl in his arms, he gripped the Jewel tightly. They grew radiant, almost as bright as the sun itself. They shielded their eyes to keep themselves from blinding.
The light toned down, and they were stunned. Neither Kagome, nor Inu Yasha heaved a breath. Inu Yasha had made the well their grave. They clung onto each other loosely, eyes closed. They both looked so peaceful. They were both gone.
"He died… to be with her."
Her heart feeling heavy, Sango touched the couple's entwined fingers, only to back away at its iciness. "He really did love her, didn't he?" There was no need to respond.
Miroku stepped behind her, hugging her from behind. He gently breathed, feeling as if the angels themselves had taken him to heaven, as well. "Sango?" She turned to him, love written all over her face. She kissed him, ignoring his astonished gasp. She was relieved when he responded.
The kiss stayed sensual, but they parted when it came necessary for air. "I love you." He said, lifting her chin. She simply stared back at him, mouth agape.
He chuckled slightly, then brought their lips together for another kiss. Breathlessly, she confessed, "I love you, too."
Linking their hands, he insisted on going back to the village. "They're happy now. It's time for us to be, as well," Taking hold of Shippou, and with Kilala on their trail, they headed back home.
Sango looked up heavenwards, searching the stars for any signs. She shook her head, feeling foolish. She looked up again, and for a moment, she had sworn she saw Kagome and Inu Yasha, smiling down at them.