SUMMARY: This is a "male pregnancy" delivery scene, by Megatron. I know it might seem weird with Megatron as uke/carrier, but this strangely just popped into my mind about a week ago and after sitting on the idea for a little I decided to write it. As I'm sure you're wondering, the sire of the sparkling is Soundwave…who of course loves children. Word of warning: If you're not into this stuff, you should probably go and read something else.
…
It was getting lonely, here all alone at base, and Megatron's cramps were killing him again. Well…not so much that it was disabling, really, but he still felt like scrap. Even though in reality he'd only been carrying this sparkling for nine months, it felt like years since he'd felt truly comfortable. In the past month he had been getting these horrible abdominal cramps, although they usually went away (or were at least lessened) by sleep or a hot bubble bath. Of course, they weren't technically cramps; they were inefficient, rather deceiving "practice contractions", and today, they seemed to be even more annoying than usual.
Right now, Megatron was lying on his back (which was strained from the sparkling) and trying to get into a more comfortable position. After all this time, he wasn't scared of having a sparkling—after all, it WAS a natural phenomenon (a "miracle", some would say, but perhaps that was too cheesy) and countless carriers had done it before him. But that didn't mean he had to LIKE it. After all this time, he just wanted it over with. Unfortunately, though, it wasn't, and the cramps were still bothering him greatly. So he locked the door to his suite, crossed to the self-maintenance room off his giant bedroom, and started to fill the tub with hot water. Surely this would be just what the medic ordered, and he could go back to watching TV.
As he filled the tub, Megatron wondered why having a sparkling had to be so…restricting. Yes, he knew that having sparklings was a very rewarding experience, but sometimes he wished it was rewarding someone else. It didn't allow him to fight and oversee the destruction of the accursed Autobots, for one thing. Not only did he fear for the sparkling's health and his own, he feared that the Autobots would try and take his sparkling. Not only that, but maybe Megatron himself would be easier to defeat, too. Megatron had pictured it in his mind, many times:
Megatron (swinging his mace): It's all over, Prime!
Optimus (running): OW OW I HATE YOU MEGATRON OW OW!
Megatron (suddenly doubling over in pain): OW! HELP!
Optimus: Look, the sparkling's coming! Let's capture it and turn it into an Autobot, and then we can kill Megatron while he's still weak!
Other Autobots (together): Okay!
Well, it wasn't going to go down like that. No WAY. Megatron could get right back out on the playing field once the sparkling was born, and he wouldn't even need any time to recover. Leaning on the side of the bathtub, Megatron growled and grabbed his abdominal area as another little cramp seized him. OW OW OW OW—ahh…his grip relaxed as the stinging, clenching feeling started to wane. This nice bath would probably help. Usually, warm water did the trick.
But just as Megatron reached for some bubble soap, he lost his footing, mostly due to the enormous weight on his blast chamber, and hit the side of the tub, hard. Megatron thought at first that some of the water from the bath had just been spilled onto his feet somehow—or, well, all over his lower body. But it was much stickier than normal water should be, and he was shocked to see that it was tinged with his own raw energon. It was probably then that he realized his energon had broken and he'd gone into labor.
Megatron let out a nasty curse and pressed his fingers to his temples, wondering how he hadn't seen this coming. Most likely, he had already been in labor for hours and just hadn't been able to distinguish it from his regular "cramps", the ones he'd been getting all month. It was about nine or ten more minutes before he felt the next pain. It was a little worse than the last one, but Megatron figured that was all in his head. Obviously, the pain had only increased because he had just realized his predicament. All he had to do was, um, have the sparkling, right? It couldn't be that hard. After all, he could still walk and talk. Maybe it would be good to get into the bath anyway.
As soon as he was soaking in the bath, waiting for and dreading another contraction at the same time, Megatron wondered exactly what he was going to do. What did he think he was going to do?! It was different for the Autobots—they had Ratchet, Perceptor, Wheeljack, and even that grease monkey Spark Plug to help with any medical conditions. It was totally different for Decepticons. Their health care plan was basically, don't get hurt…and if you do, die quickly.
At least nobody was home right now. Megatron didn't want anyone to see him in such a vulnerable situation, helpless to control any pain he was going through, even though right now he could honestly say he'd been through worse, in the gladiator pits alone. The other Decepticons were all off fighting Autobots or raiding an oil field or something. For all intents and purposes, Megatron didn't know, and he wasn't sure if he cared, either. For the third trimester, Megatron had to break down and put Soundwave in charge of the Decepticons (not Starscream, because he sure as slag couldn't handle it), because all he could think of was his aching back and cramps and angry feelings and cravings for peoplefood (yes, it was weird, especially with the steak fat) and he didn't have the time OR the energy for military strategy. All he wanted to do was get some REST and have everybody JUST GO AWAY! OKAY?!
Megatron shook his head and tried to calm himself down. It didn't matter now; it was mid-afternoon, so by night or tomorrow morning the sparkling would be here and Megatron could get back in control. Unfortunately, one of Skywarp's new interests—some New Age human relaxation thing called "yoga"—popped into his brain. Several times, Skywarp had tried to get him to do "pregnant yoga", which earned the purple Seeker some major injuries. Skywarp was really bad at yoga, but he thought it was fun. Megatron thought it wouldn't be the most relaxing thing for him right now, because it involved twisting your body into all these weird acrobatic positions and he wasn't really all that flexible to begin with. Also he was about to give birth…
Trying to distract himself, he turned on the TV mounted above his bathtub and tried to focus on the show, but he couldn't. As several hours passed, his contractions (which had previously been regularly spaced, mild annoyances) were making themselves known, and they didn't seem so far apart now. No matter how much he tried to distance his mind, Megatron found himself crying out in pain and waiting for the sharp pain to pass. (It was probably only around thirty seconds, but it felt more like thirty minutes).
By the time the hour was up, Megatron found himself leaning exhaustedly against the bathroom wall, panting, the TV still blaring who knows what and the faucet still running. After all, he had pictured himself having his sparkling in bed, not in the bathtub. Another filthy word escaped his mouth and was followed by another, but then another pain came and he found that he was no longer able to even speak through it. As he sunk to the floor, he wondered why so much of the pain was in his back, as well as the rest of his body, and what he was going to do. Was this going to get worse? Obviously, he hoped the answer to that question was "no".
Only a few minutes later, Megatron heard the sound of the other Decepticons coming home. Several of them were calling for him; he waited the next contraction through, trying to suppress a howl of discomfort, and then called out hoarsely, "I'm BUSY! If anyone dares to enter my suite, he will suffer a painful, gruesome—arrgghhh!"
Okay, maybe right now the only one suffering anything painful and gruesome was Megatron himself. But they didn't need to know that. As their leader's speech was cut off again, some of the other Decepticons were concerned, but they understood the message—stay away at all costs.
"What's Megatron doing in there?" Starscream whispered.
"I bet he's trying out yoga," Skywarp said confidently. "It can be a little hard at first."
"Of course he's not doing yoga," Thundercracker said scornfully.
"Then what's he doing?" Skywarp challenged.
"This is POINTLESS!" said Starscream. "Come on, let's see what he's really up to."
"If you want to die," said Thundercracker.
Starscream decided he didn't want to risk his own hide, so he stayed put. Meanwhile, the others were standing there as well, not really knowing what they should do.
Now that the other Decepticons were home, Megatron was trying to think about how he should be quiet so nobody would come in and bother him, but it was getting SO BAD…when he went into another contraction, it seemed like it would never stop. That one had to have been at least a minute long. So when would the sparkling come?!
One hour later, even Megatron couldn't take it anymore; flat on his back under his bedsheets, trying to ignore this pain, struggling to be quiet so as not to draw attention to himself, straining to push the sparkling out, but he didn't know how. There was certainly no "urge"…yet. Why hadn't anyone told him what this was like?
Only a few minutes later, Megatron found himself desperately opening his com. link and paging his most trusted advisor—the sire of the sparkling.
"Soundwave! Acknowledge!" he shouted into the com. link.
"Yes, Lord Megatron?" Soundwave responded quickly. The other Decepticons exchanged questioning looks.
"I-I will unlock m-my door," Megatron stammered, not without some difficulty. "Come in and bring—bring no one but yourself."
"As you command, Lord Megatron," said Soundwave, and he hung up. Megatron struggled out of bed, across the room, and managed to reach the door, somehow unlocking it just in time for Soundwave's arrival.
In under a minute, Megatron was laying on his side in his bed, with Soundwave telling him to breathe and relax repeatedly, Frenzy going to clean up the bathroom as well as get some hot water, and Rumble fetching fresh towels. Megatron found that he felt better with Soundwave there; it was good to have someone actually there with him when pain filled his body. But it didn't make the pain go away. Soon enough, Rumble had returned with the towels.
"Thank—thank you," said Megatron, meaning Soundwave and his minicons.
"It is an honor," Soundwave replied, putting towels onto the bed and the floor.
"You should walk around a little, boss," Rumble piped up. "Hate seein' ya like this, y'know?"
"I-I guess," Megatron mumbled, and Soundwave helped him off the bed. It did feel kind of good to walk, but every three minutes or so he would get hit by a contraction—like a plane crashing into a mountain—and he would have to lean against the wall or the bed or Soundwave, gnashing his teeth, yelling in pain.
When Megatron was around the self-maintenance room, he collapsed onto the floor and leaned against the wall, shivering and shaking a little, still trying not to let out more noise than he had to—he was still wondering what the other Decepticons were thinking. Soundwave offered one hand and Megatron squeezed it a little too hard, threatening to break it or even pull it off. Soundwave gently rubbed Megatron's shoulder with his other hand, and Rumble brought some towels over to the area.
Soundwave couldn't help but remember his own many birthing experiences when he watched someone doing it for the first time. Everything had been easier on him with his second minicon, and every other one after that, but he still knew what Megatron was going through. Rumble and Frenzy were darting worriedly around Megatron; Soundwave let the gray mech squeeze his hand even tighter.
"It might help to remember that contractions are only good for you," Soundwave told Megatron earnestly.
"How are they GOOD?!" Megatron cried, moments before another one came.
"They get the sparkling out," said Soundwave.
Oh wait. I forgot about that. Megatron had known this before. It had slipped his mind until now, but contractions were there for an important reason, not just to see how much punishment he could take.
"I-I know," Megatron mumbled. "And he's here for a reason, too."
Megatron and Soundwave's sparkling had not been an accident. They had actually had this sparkling on purpose, the main reason being Megatron's bloodline, or his pedigree. More and more often, he stayed up at night in his suite, thinking that he would have to retire eventually, and then who would take over? That's right—Starscream. But then Megatron realized that if he had a son (or even a daughter, although having a femme taking control was still slightly unconventional), his own offspring would be next in line for the throne instead. Energon was thicker than water, so when someone had to inherit Megatron's throne, there was nobody better than his own child.
Initially, Megatron wanted to be the one to sire the sparkling, but then Soundwave started telling him about how he felt closer to his minicons than ever by being their carrier, and he would definitely do it all over again, even though he'd given birth, like, what, four or five times now? Six? And hadn't Laserbeak and Buzzsaw hatched from eggs? So that meant Soundwave could lay eggs? Well, whatever. Soundwave made childbirth out to be bearable, even preferable—because that was how he saw it. In fact, he had been so convincing that Megatron decided to have this sparkling himself.
Now, Megatron was beginning to regret this decision. Of course, Soundwave hadn't been trying to trick him into being the one in pain—Soundwave felt like giving birth was a rewarding experience and…well, maybe he thought Megatron would agree with him. But Megatron didn't agree with him. Not only was he in pain, but he didn't know what his body was even doing. Pain was all over his abdomen, legs and especially his back for some reason—and all he could do was sit there and take it.
As he groaned and rubbed his back, Megatron heard Soundwave order Rumble to give Megatron a back massage. When Megatron started to protest, Soundwave said it would help with the pain. But what does he know? Megatron thought bitterly. Last time I checked, I was the one having the sparkling, not him! Megatron had forgotten that Soundwave had gone through this many times before so he would know quite well.
"W-What pain?!" Megatron growled, shoving Rumble aside. No one was permitted to touch him. Besides, he had the feeling Soundwave was reading his mind again, especially because he actually was feeling a lot of pain in his lower back right now. As a general rule, Soundwave was forbidden to read Megatron's mind, but maybe he was just trying to help.
Actually, though, Soundwave hadn't been reading Megatron's mind so much as he'd been simply observing his body language. The old mech insisted he was feeling great, but Soundwave knew he was full of slag, not only because almost all carriers felt pain at one point or another, but also from the way he clenched his teeth, how he arched his back and quietly groaned every time he felt pain, which was by now every second.
"Soundwave, when…" Megatron started to ask, but again, his contractions interrupted him. So the word "when" came out more like "wheeeeaaaaaAAAAHHHHH!" To be honest, Megatron mainly wished he could talk so he could shout profanities, but why was it that he couldn't manage to get any words out?
Soundwave looked at Megatron carefully and then replied, "Pushing does not begin until dilation is complete. Current dilation: 80 percent."
"So when will it be 100 percent?" Megatron asked.
"Question cannot be answered with certainty," said Soundwave.
"In other words…you have NO IDEA when this will be over?!" Megatron hollered.
Soundwave shook his head, no.
Well, you can at least stop reading my mind! Megatron thought as forcefully as possible. This time, he knew Soundwave had been reading his mind, because he had been planning to ask when he could push the sparkling out.
Soundwave ignored this—maybe he had finished his mind-reading for now—and, in all seriousness, moved his steady gaze from Megatron's face, to his hand (which had been broken by Megatron a long time ago by now—he would need to get a new one), to the floor and between his Master's legs. Still no sparkling, of course; all that was there were some dirty towels, quite a bit of lubricant and a little raw energon. They did have hot water, but since Frenzy had fetched the water long ago, it was now more like room-temperature water.
By the time he heard Soundwave ordering Rumble and Frenzy to get more hot water and clean towels, Megatron felt nauseous and a little dazed. Even though he never thought it could happen, he was starting to lose faith in himself. For one thing, how could a sparkling's frame, even if it was comparably small, be pushed out of anyone? No wonder it hurt! What kind of way to reproduce was this? Slag it, he'd love to talk to the geniuses who designed him this way. Sadists!
Megatron had never had such an excruciating experience, and that was saying something, for him. Truth be told, he had been expecting this to be easy, or at least only moderately difficult. Contrary to what he had previously thought, even those with a high pain tolerance can feel labor pain…intensely. Even his vision was blurred. It was much worse than anything he'd experienced in the gladiator pits of Kaon. Come to think of it, that was strange. During his time as a gladiator, he'd defeated many formidable opponents with little pain. And yet this time he was losing…to a sparkling.