No matter what you do, someone will always love you. No matter where you go, you will never be forgotten.
A/N: Very sad short oneshot I wrote awhile ago when I was bored one night and listening to Evanescence. The characters are much older. Flames welcome.
Disclaimer: I don't own JN. 'My Last Breath' belongs to Evanescence.
My Last Breath
The room was dark, but the liquid pouring from my skin was darker. The razor blade was my only cure. Crimson life flowed from my wrist, down my palm and slipped through my fingers. A searing pain overtook me, but it was nothing compared to the inner anguish my heart was beating alongside with. It was my fault and I was to pay.
Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
I heard her footsteps, I felt her hand on my shoulder, and I knew why she was here. Her breathing is labored as though she had run many miles. She whispers my name. I do not respond and she whispers it again. Her voice a soft melody to my ears.
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?
"Jimmy..." she whispers slowly to me. I don't know what keeps me here, I feel so hollow inside. Another drop of cherry blood falls to the floor, a dark dot in a sea of blue. She sees this and her hand retracts. A gasp of horror escapes her lips.
I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
She should run, run away from the murderer I have become. She doesn't, she never has. Instead she digs her nails into the flesh of my shoulders, but I don't feel a thing. She shifts my body to face her. Irritatingly slow, I lift my hazy gaze to meet a beautiful emerald.
Hiding in a hollow tree
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears
"Leave," I grumble, utterly drained of energy. My vision becomes clear just in time to see her raise her hand, but my eyes flutter closed before I hear the smack of flesh meeting flesh. My cheek should be stinging in fresh pain, but there is no feeling, nothing, numbness. In some way she has always been violent. She must think wacking the heartache out of me will make everything right. Too bad after all that I have done, nothing will be the same again. But she doesn't know. And somehow, I think she enjoys wounding me, whether it's physical or emotional. Yet, I deserved it, I deserve all the torture.
"Don't order me," she growls in return, sitting down beside me on my bed. I become even more lightheaded and everything around her seems to fade, but I don't know if it's because of her intoxicating scent or my loss of blood. My shoulders slump in exhaustion and unridable guilt.
Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will leave you here
"I said leave," I repeat harshly. She doesn't obey, she never has. The heat of her glare burns my skin, but I can't feel it. "I'm a monster, not worthy of anything," The words elude me, I can't stop them.
My pain speaks for itself. "I have destroyed all that I love. The lives of those I care for, and I can't fix it. It's all my fault and you must go before I destroy the only love I haven't demolished yet," My eyes meet an infinite pool of flaming emerald once again, "I mean nothing to anyone anymore. It's time for me to go."
But still you wake and know the truth
No one's there
Her grip on me tenses. "No," she says, her voice low and dangerous. "Don't you ever say that," She seems to glow in an internal light, an angel? Her hand releases my shoulder and wraps itself tightly around my crimson weeping wrist. My body quivers in unexpected shock.
No, a devil, my savior. "You stop this now," she seethes out between clenched teeth, "You mean the world to me and dammit, you will fix this!" Her scream echoes to deaf ears. I lost my salvation the second I flipped the switch.
Say goodnight
Don't be afraid
Calling me as you fade to black
"I can't fix anything," I whisper, "And I never meant a thing to you," Her face softens. Stray blonde hair falls across the bridge of her nose. I long to tuck it behind her ear, but I am numb. Can't feel, can't move. The passion in her eyes burns too bright. I turn away, but her dry hand cups my chin and refuses to let me win.
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight
"You can fix anything," A confidence drowning her words, "And I meant what I said," Tears are a weakness, but the tears falling from her eyes are everything I need. My crimson regret coats her hand now laced within my own cold one. I don't know how and I don't know why, but a final hidden strength surfaces. My face advances closer to her own and a moment later my lips capture hers in a burning kiss. All feeling rushes to me. She holds my last breath as her lips leave mine.
Love is too late.
mysteryjcgrl