A/N: PLEASE READ THIS A/N IN ITS ENTIRETY AS IT IS IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTANDING HOW THIS FANFICTION IS GOING TO GO. Okay, SO! Here is the idea behind this: imagining how a Reboot!verse version of some the episodes of TOS would go, especially considering that they are basically even more blatant about the friction/developing romance between Jim and Spock. (At least by the end of the second film they are – I have not seen the third film and it does not have any part in this fic.) There will be a couple of things differing between these, in no small part because I have to build a foundation for the relationship between the two of them, which unlike in TOS will be explicitly portrayed as a relationship as well as a friendship, although not at first – first they need something to base anything on. We don't get to the TOS stuff until a few chapters in and those TOS episode chapters will be significantly longer and interspersed with non-TOS episode material that will be shorter chapters like the beginning ones.
I will not be doing every single episode of TOS. I'm hoping I will manage to do at least half of them, but no guarantees. Some of them I can't handle watching because my PTSD makes me react badly to many kinds of drama and emotional situations, and others simply do not work in this universe because everything is so drastically different.
JUST TO CLARIFY – THIS FIC IS GOING TO BE KIRK/SPOCK (aka Spork or Spirk). If there is anything sexually explicit in this fic I will post a warning before it happens so that anybody who simply does not like erotic scenes can skip over it.
As of yet, there is not much drama outside of the episode chapters; they provide enough, and I'm bad at writing it on my own. Many people probably will not like how smoothly things go between and before episodes, but hey, I can't change how I write. Tried; failed. Eventually a person has to just accept it and write how they write. If you don't like it, then just don't read it, I'm fully aware that my writing is probably mediocre at best.
About Updates: I currently have twelve successive chapters written, am working on the thirteenth, have the fifteenth and sixteenth written up, and have two additional random pieces that will be inserted in when they are appropriate. WHILE I HAVE THE MATERIAL, I will update on a weekly basis after the first written episode is uploaded. When I get stalled, busy, sick, my muse abandons me, etc., there will be dry spells, but I WILL NOT give up on this fic. I am totally obsessed with completing it even though it will likely take years to get through as much of TOS as I can, even if I end up only doing the first season! It takes me over a day to write each episode, sometimes up to several weeks depending on how badly the content affects me and how much I can watch and then write at a time. The in-between bits usually take less time but I am not a great writer of plot so I suspect those as well will become successively more difficult to write and there will likely be fewer as the fic progresses.
One last thing before I begin this, and it is important. Spock is a very emotional person in the Reboot!verse, and fairly early on he becomes emotionally overwrought. Even in TOS things can have that effect on him, although those things are generally something that infected him, he is still not immune to shows of emotion. It is important to the plot of this fic that Jim helps Spock decide to be more balanced and mentally healthy, and even though it seems out of character, it actually isn't – remember, this Spock nearly strangled Jim to death because his emotions were out of control. He would most certainly want to make such an occurrence less likely to happen again.
I have seen various fics floating around that are remakes of some episodes of TOS but it seems to be limited to a spare few of the eps, and so I hope this fic is sufficiently different to those!
Aside: If anybody has some specific episodes they would like me to try and write, just let me know! I can't promise anything but I can at least attempt to do them assuming the characters cooperate and I can handle the content.
Ta, loves!
Jim really doesn't get what the big deal is. He doesn't understand all the fuss. He was just doing his job. It wasn't the first time he had been Acting Captain in his life, and it probably won't be the last.
Only, that thought is wrong, because those absolute morons upheld his field promotion. Jim is ready to rip someone's head off their neck for this and spends five hours destroying punching bags until his knuckles are bleeding so badly that Bones has to stick them under the regen. It's wrong and they shouldn't be doing this! Jim wants the Enterprise more than almost anything he has ever wanted in his life, but not like this. Never like this. He thought it was bad when they made him a Lieutenant because he kept a hundred and twenty two people alive, but this time his mistakes didn't cost the lives of over two hundred people, it cost the lives of seven entire ships in addition to all the people that the Enterprise lost.
If he hadn't gotten into trouble, he would have been on the ship rightfully, and then maybe he could have saved more lives. Maybe he wouldn't have gotten marooned on Delta Vega. Granted, then they wouldn't have Scotty—and the Enterprise needed Scotty—or Spock Prime but even so. Maybe things would have turned out better if he'd just been a good little cadet. He knew he was a headache to everyone around him, but that's what happens when you are thrown from one life or death situation straight into another one less than a few years apart. Jim lived like he could die at any moment, because he knew that he could. It was pure luck that he survived the beating Frank gave him after wrecking (rather, completely demolishing) his dad's car, it was pure luck he survived Tarsus IV, it was pure luck he wasn't one of the two hundred and eighty six casualties on the USS Farragut during his first training cruise.
It was pure luck that he had been in the right place at the right time to hear about the lightning storm in space, and Jim can't help but wonder why he is so abominably lucky. Why he was the one to survive. He hasn't done anything to deserve that kind of luck.
He hasn't done anything to deserve anything good, honestly. He doesn't get why he keeps getting lucky. And yeah, part of it had to be skill (he aced his Advanced Tactical Training, an invitation-only class, he'd saved the Axnar Peace Treaty and won a medal – which he immediately stuck in storage because medals are fucking stupid – for keeping it from being sabotaged from terrorists, and he'd already had master's degrees in Engineering and Warp Physics when he signed up for Starfleet), but that didn't discount that he had gotten stupid lucky.
This sucks. It really fucking sucks.
Selek – it was surprisingly easy to adjust to using a new name – watched his younger (much younger) counterpart walk off with a thoughtful look on his face and smiled minutely. His experiences informed him as to the kind of adventures that this Jim and Spock would have, despite the disparity between their universes. He had no doubt that just as Nero had caused Jim to gain captaincy over the Enterprise almost a decade before he normally would have, those very actions would cause time itself to warp in order to bring about the experiences that Jim and Spock would need in order to save the lives of as many people as possible. Of course, most of their adventures would be changed or possibly even skipped over, but many of them would remain intact but changed in either subtle or extreme ways. That wouldn't happen until they began their first five year mission, though, which was a bit away yet.
He also had no doubt whatsoever that the destruction of Vulcan would cause Spock to be more emotional and volatile, which made him suppress another smile. Had he himself been more volatile, his relationship with his Captain would have been far longer. He had no doubt whatsoever that – once he was ready to accept a true friendship with Jim – before six months had passed Spock would recognise that Jim was his t'hy'la and initiate a relationship; that was, assuming that the demanding and determined Captain he served under did not take the first step himself if Spock took too long. After all, that was what had precipitated his own relationship with his own Captain – Jim had simply gotten fed up with dancing around the subject of their feelings and refused to waste more time being apart than had already passed. If even a more balanced version of himself than the one walking away could not resist his more moderated Captain, then there was no chance that Spock would be able to fight against the feelings he would eventually develop for this more impulsive and even more intelligent Jim.
Especially not when Jim already knew of how deep their attachment would eventually go. The intense hesitation Jim had felt at the idea of hurting Spock was both enlightening and promising, but even with that, still not a surprise. Jim was far more intuitive than Spock was, and would have recognised that they were well-matched and kindred spirits despite his intense dislike for Spock's attempts to be emotionless.
His interference had practically guaranteed that in this universe, such an overpowering and unlimited love would come to pass. Maybe this time around, Jim would suffer none of the heartbreak he had in Selek's own universe because of his reticence.
One could only hope.
"You aren't in love with me."
Well, that was a rather obvious statement. It was not that he rejected or could not feel love, but whatever had been developing between him and Nyota had simply not engaged his emotions (which, even though he suppressed them, he still experienced) very deeply. They were mentally well-suited, however the tragedy instigated by Nero had closed him off to Nyota's feelings. His grief was simply too ferocious to allow softer emotions to bloom, even though he had genuinely tried, for her sake, to push past it. So he responded honestly, a soft, sympathetic, "No, I am not. I never will be. Once, maybe it could have happened, however -"
She nodded in understanding. Of course she understood. She was a master of Communications, after all. "Nero ruined that."
Thankfully, she did not mention him being in far too much pain to allow something like this to happen. Whilst it was the truth, it was still difficult for him to face. Anything emotional was, at this point. They had gone through one onslaught and then directly after it for an entire year had been one near-death experience after another, culminating in an adventure in which he had almost permanently lost his Captain and—he could admit this, if only to himself—friend. He was simply too exhausted to keep up. To be frank, the only reason he had not already ended things with Nyota was because he had barely had the time to think about it, much less to seek her out and arrange for the conversation. This was the first time they had had any breathing room in longer than he cared to think about. She seemed to see some of that, and nodded again, "We should end this then. Before it hurts either of us, before it affects our jobs. We're just lucky that we'd been too busy for this to develop into anything serious."
That was one thing that endeared him to her. She was far more sensible and less illogical than many humans were. "Thank you for your understanding, Nyota."
She sent him a wry grin and admitted, "This is just as much for me as for you. It would be unhealthy for both of us if I were to try to make this work, or worse, try to help. I'm not the person who can help you."
He raised an eyebrow to that mysterious statement and she smiled secretively at him, "A girl's gotta have some secrets. You'll learn yourself soon enough, so long as you don't allow your emotional suppression to make you stubborn about accepting help. Granted, it already has, but…"
Spock nodded. "I will not allow my thoughts about emotions to keep from accepting help that will actually help. Even if it comes from a distasteful source."
Nyota laughed and sent him a smile. "I will leave you be then, and let the Captain know, so he doesn't put his foot in his mouth and make me punch his lights out."
That sent his eyebrow higher and she flushed lightly. "Hey, it is absolutely not my fault that that arrogant playboy attitude of his pisses me off."
She left with a wave and Spock mused on her words. Of course, the playboy attitude was not exactly that – it was a mask. He had seen as much himself that Kirk was dangerously intelligent, protective, and intuitive in a way that he almost resented. It was unfair – which was illogical, life itself was not "fair" – that Kirk was so brilliant and well-regarded in spite of his previous negative behaviour, but at the same time, he had a deep feeling (make that knowledge) that Kirk was simply finally getting something he had deserved for most of his life – recognition. Even though his arrogance had infuriated Spock, he could not deny that Kirk sometimes acted like a cornered animal, which said far more about him than his words ever did, that was for sure.
Step one and well begun, Jim thought to himself as he smiled. He had just had his first game of chess with Spock (something he intended to become a bonding activity, for all that Spock had no clue of this; he had finally gotten tired of Spock avoiding him and asked Selek for advice) and he was well pleased with the results. I'm gonna catch you, Spock, and nothing is going to stop me from succeeding in making you mine, t'hy'la.
Of course, emotionally they weren't t'hy'la to each other yet, but Spock Prime and his Jim had been t'hy'la, that most precious of bonds. Jim knew all about Vulcan culture and language, for all that he disapproved of Spock acting so superior to everything and the general Vulcan belief that they were far above and superior to any other species with their focus on logic. No species was inherently better than any other species. That was one part of why Jim knew so many languages and cultures, both human – Jim was fluent in Standard, Russian, Japanese, French, and Spanish – and non-human. Jim was fluent in ten languages, not including mathematics, programming, and coding, and just as many cultures. All of his teachers – usually good friends or romantic partners, although Hoshi Sato had been the one to teach him Japanese, Klingon, Romulan, and Andorian – had pronounced that he was a terrifyingly quick study, and he knew he had done every last one of them proud.
It wasn't arrogance, just a fact.
Also a fact was that he had baffled and befuddled Spock, hilariously enough. He had almost been able to hear Spock thinking that he was going to spend all of his time keeping Jim from killing himself when he saw how recklessly Jim played tonight. Especially since he had found out during their game that there was no such thing as an "acceptable loss" to Jim. That had raised the amount of respect that Spock had for him. Honestly it was something that Spock should have already been aware of ages ago, but Spock had really not been ready for an actual friendship until Jim died for him. Jim had bided his time, ready and willing to wait as long as he had to in order to catch Spock unaware so that he could worm his way behind those barriers.
Blue eyes focused on the bare wall in front of his face and he smirked, resting his chin more firmly in his hand. I wasn't expecting the majority of this to happen to me, but that doesn't mean that I can't take advantage of the situation to make myself happy. Despite what I thought growing up, and still think sometimes even now, I do deserve happiness, and I am certain that Spock thinks the way that I used to, which means he is more than deserving of happiness as well.
Hopefully within the next few times around he would shock Spock into admitting how much pain he was in – tonight's game had turned into a spectacle, which meant that he had been able to ask Spock for the next game to be in one of their rooms with no suspicion involved, which rather sped up his plans. That was a good thing, as Spock needed an outlet for his grief sooner rather than later. It had been over a year already, and Spock still hadn't been able to deal with the grief because he was either unwilling or simply too busy to do so.
Nothing could stop Jim now that his mind was made up.