A/N: I have been working on this fic for months and it is kicking my butt. I thought I would post the first chapter to see what kind of feedback I get, if any. Maybe it would help motivate me to get this on track. It's certainly a WIP. I appreciate feedback as it will help me understand where this needs to go.

It didn't escape Angel's mind that he had made this very same drive a few years before for another woman. It was daylight then. He remembered still how the sun felt on his skin. He remembers seeing her, standing on the pier - remembers her beautiful golden hair as she looked out on the water. He remembers how she turned to meet him as he walked over towards her. Sensing him before he had even arrived. Their connection still humming with life even now that he was a human. He remembers the kiss. It was the first time in years he had kissed her with no restraint - no fear. He had taken her in his arms as if nothing in this world mattered but her. And at the time, it was true.

But that beautiful woman that had filled his heart and soul with sunshine was now dead. And, as he had reminded himself before so many times, he was not - well not in the strictest sense. He had to shove those memories down deep into that little box he kept in his heart. Shut them out. He was going to meet Cordy and he was going to tell her...he was going to tell her...well he hadn't figured that out yet. But he knew that it had something to do with the feelings he had for her and looking to the future instead of being stuck in the past. The wind blew through his hair as he made his way towards the bluffs in question. He scanned for a good radio station searching for something to set the mood. He parked the car, and left the car on to hear the music. He stepped out of the car and sat back on the hood. He closed his eyes and smelled the ocean. He tried to think of Cordy and her big beautiful smile. But when the next song played on the radio his mind had once again drifted.

Childhood living is easy to do
The things you wanted I bought them for you
Graceless lady you know who I am,
You know I can't let you slide through my hands
Wild Horses couldn't drag me away,
Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away

His mind was flooded with visions of Buffy standing before him in that beautiful pink dress. Her long golden hair flowed down her delicate shoulders. He remembered being struck by her beauty and to this day his biggest regret was not telling her how absolutely breathtaking she looked.

But, no he had to focus. He had worked so hard to keep these thoughts out of his mind and he had done so incredibly well. He ran over to turn off the radio just as Cordelia's car pulled up. He straightened up at her approach, as if readying himself for the task. Shaking away thoughts of his old love - he needed to press on. This was the stuff of life, he was alive - kind of, Cordy was very alive. He had to move forward. A brief thought occurred to him that this was taking an awful lot of convincing on his part but he paid no mind to that.

Cordelia walked up to Angel and grabbed his hand. She looked at him and smiled. "Angel. I've thought so much about you and us today. But…" she looked down for a moment before looking back into his eyes "I need to know how you feel about me. What am I to you?"

Angel stared into Cordelia's eyes and he paused. The words were stuck in his throat. He had planned to tell her how she was beautiful and how he wanted to explore his feelings for her. He knew that she probably wanted to hear that he loved her. But he wasn't ready to say that. Not yet. But he wanted to get there; he wanted to get to the point where the words 'I love you' were true. "Cordy…. " he knew he didn't need to breathe but for some strange reason he felt like his chest was tightening around him. This felt wrong. He stepped back. Was this a mistake?

Cordelia noticed his hesitation. She made a quick decision to pull him back towards her and into a passionate kiss.

They had kissed like this once before when he was possessed by the lovers at the Ballet. Cordelia's kisses were all consuming. She was punishing. Angel took in her unique scent. She always smelled like cinnamon and self-tanner. She pressed herself up against his body. He could feel the fullness of her breasts up against his chest. Angel concentrated on the sweet scent of cinnamon and on the heat that radiated from her body. He could not deny he was attracted to Cordelia. She was beautiful and fierce. But he was still trying to convince himself that this was what was right. That this was the stuff that could eventually be love. He was thinking all of these things when suddenly he heard a loud pop behind Cordelia.

A bright light cracked through the sky and a body fell through. Naked and soaking wet, the petite blonde who fell from the sky was shaking and coughing as she landed hard on the ground. She looked up directly into Angel's eyes and whispered hoarsely. "Angel?"

Angel stood frozen. He was trying to process this image before him. He realized suddenly that his arms were still wrapped around Cordelia from their kiss. He pushed Cordy away suddenly and, rather unintentionally, forcefully. He inched towards the woman before him. His mind reeling as he tried to process the image of the person in front of him; this small scared woman that is wearing the face and body the one love of his long life. She said his name right? Did she say his name? Was he losing his mind?

Buffy looked around, past the man before her and at the woman standing behind him. She had swollen lips and a shocked and almost annoyed gaze. Buffy was fighting to shake off the fear and confusion. The last thing she remembered was comfort and peace. And now everything felt harsh. She could see it was night time but somehow everything still felt indescribably bright and her eyes struggled to adjust. The sounds of the wind felt loud against her ears and grating against her skin.

Buffy's mind was a jumbled mess as panic began to rise. "This isn't right. Nothing feels right. I'm not supposed to be here and where is here anyway? Who is that woman? Where am I?" Buffy thought to herself.

She opened her mouth to try and speak but she realized suddenly that she didn't know what to say. Her heart was racing and her adrenaline was pumping - she was terrified. She did the only thing she could think of at that very moment. She got up suddenly and began to run. She got a few yards away before an excruciating pain shot through her starting at the base of her spine and moving up sharply through to her head. It felt like her entire body, every single cell inside her was on fire. She dropped on the ground. She heard a howl of pain and looked over to see that the man that she somehow knew was called Angel had also dropped to the floor and was writhing in pain.

As Buffy started to run away, Angel felt a horrible pain rush through him like a wave and he fell to the ground. He looked over to see Buffy fall down a few yards away and he instinctively crawled towards her despite the pain that spread throughout his body. Strangely, he noticed the closer he crawled towards Buffy the more the pain subsided.

As Angel's pain diminished he noticed that she too seemed less in distress. He stood up, once the pain was bearable, and walked towards her. He took off his leather jacket and knelt down in front of Buffy, finally speaking for the first time.

"Buffy?"

He handed her the jacket and she hesitantly grabbed it turning around and putting it on quickly. She was very aware that she was completely naked and exposed in front of this man. Exposed. Lost. Cold. Alone. Scared. She was all of those things but she also oddly felt comforted by his presence and his jacket smelled of something comforting and familiar. She wraped the jacket tightly around her, turned around and looked up at Angel.

"Buffy? Is - is that my name? Do you know me? Where am I?" Buffy said as she looked around.

Cordelia moved closer examining the interactions between the ex-lovers carefully. She looked suspiciously at Buffy and huffs "Wait a minute, you don't know who you are? How did you know who Angel was?"

"I didn't, I mean I don't. His name just came to me but I...I don't know either of you." Buffy shivered. She began to feel the side effects of being cold, wet and basically naked outside in the elements.

Cordelia rolled her eyes, walked over and extended her hand to Buffy who hesitantly accepted. "Come on, let's get you inside and figure all of this out." But as Buffy placed her hand in Cordy's, the Seer began to float up and she dropped Buffy's hand.

Cordelia's eyes glazed over for a moment before coming back to the ground.

Angel looked over at Cordelia for the first time since their kiss. It seemed like a lifetime ago to him but he couldn't think of that now. He had more pressing matters to attend to and that he would deal with later. "What is it? What did you see? Did you see anything about Buffy?"

Cordelia shut her eyes and swlowed hard against the vision. She thought about it and decided she would not tell him what she saw. 'This was not right. They were wrong.' She thought to herself. She shook her head. "False alarm. I didn't see anything maybe their wires got crossed. If it's important I'm sure they'll send another message later." She shrugged and looked back over at Buffy who was looking at Cordelia like she was crazy. Cordy reached out to Buffy again and pulled her up. "Let's go."

She gave Angel a sideways glance and motioned towards the car. Cordelia helped Buffy to the back seat and sat herself in the passenger seat. Angel slid into the driver's seat and glanced back over at Buffy who was sitting with her arms tightly wound around herself. He turned back in utter disbelief. He started the car to make their way back to the Hyperion.