My Inner Soul
All pain is no gain
As the very familiar saying goes
I'd just wished that somebody could take all my pain away
Because I am running out of excuses to tell them
Knowing I can't tell them the real truth
And express my inner anxiety like I really want to
People moving away from me it's really sad you see
I know it's because they don't want to get what I have
So that feeling is mutual plus it's understandable
I feeling like I am chained up and sinking to the bottom
Of a bottomless black sea that's so black that I can't
See my very own hand in front of my face
The doctor's are saying that they are trying
To figure out what's wrong with me
But hell to them my inner voice says from within my head
That isn't good enough I want to know now
Because for five months now it might be even longer
I haven't been able to be the real me
The normal ordinary me when I am not sick
Instead day after day month after month I put on a fake smile
And try to act normal and do everyday tasks when I can't
Because my body feels weak and my chest constantly hurts
And my brain feels like a big giant bowl of water melting away
And my thoughts come and go as well as my appetite
Like the tides on a beach clouding my mind and judgement
Like the fog that just suddenly rolled in
But I trudge on like the brave little solider that I am
And keep up the facade of normality despite how much pain I am in