It was a windy yet humid evening. I had a bowl of homemade eggs and a desire to watch Steven Universe from Cartoon Network. After I select an episode from the On Demand menu, for some strange reason a bumper for Boomerang plays. I assume it's just a glitch and think nothing of it. But suddenly I see a simplified design of Bugs Bunny on my screen, and I realize this is not an episode of Steven Universe, but in fact an episode of the Looney Tunes spinoff series Wabbit. I quickly exit the program and wonder how that of all things played. This time I carefully re-selected the Steven Universe episode and noticed the the title had changed directly after clicking it. It was no longer "Mindful Education", but instead labeled "Computer Bugs/Oils Well That Ends Well". I am confused, and I try to find another Steven Universe episode to watch instead. I decide on "Kindergarten Kid". At first the episode played normally. There was a Cartoon Network bumper and Teen Titans Go commercial as usual followed by the second opening of Steven Universe.
But then my screen goes to static and shuts off immediately and the sounds of strange Time Warner Cable commercials play as I desperately try to turn the TV back on. But in that time I was given the time to think. Time Warner Cable. Warner. The Looney Tunes are often associated with Warner Bros., and the cable. I remember an episode of the 2011 Looney Tunes Show where Bugs had problems with his cable and his cable company decided to mess with him. Perhaps these weird events are his attempts of revenge. But why me? Why would Bugs Bunny attack me of all people. I never messed with him or his cable. I finally got the TV back on, but all of the channels were blank. I had no idea what channel it was on and I could not return to On Demand. So I patiently watched the commercials and anticipated to see what was on. To my shock, it was Looney Tunes. Specifically one featuring Bugs Bunny, even.
Bugs looked different. His face's usual smile in the intro was replaced by a depressed frown and his eyes were HYPER-REALISTIC. The cartoon showed bugs dragging a corpse that appeared to have long black hair and a stupid face. In horror, I realized it was me! Bugs looked towards the camera and grinned strangely. He then proceeded to laugh maniacally as he started devouring my dead body. I tried to turn off the TV, but the power button was stuck. I had no other choice but to yank out all of my TV cords from the wall. I was safe, but I didn't feel safe.
I knew I could never turn on my television again. Time passes, about 2 hours, and I feel as if I may be going insane. I'm not sure if I should even be looking through a computer monitor. I don't know the scale of his powers. Maybe he's even in the real world hunting me down. I'm not sure what to do. Should I remain in solitude as I await his inevitability or do I go out there and fight back? I think for a few moments, but as I hear his carrot chewing louder in my eardrums, I grab my conveniently placed shotgun make my final decision.
It's wabbit season.