A Beach Party of a Different Nature
"You will not defeat me! I am the master of all! Fear my kunai of death! Fear my shuriken of doom! Fear my um… rubber ducky of… pain?" yelled the enemy ninja, running out of 'threats' as he called them. The girl he was fighting now was used to these attacks- they happened almost daily!
"Lee!" She complained, "I beat you every time! Please stop trying!" she didn't remember how she had gotten to the dojo, she just remembered that suddenly, she was there, in the middle of a fight with her 'arch nemesis', Rock Lee.
She kicked his legs out from under him, and then karate chopped his head to knock him out. She turned to face her sensei, sensei Gai, who had suddenly appeared behind her wearing a speedo and a shell bra over his usual green spandex body suit. He motioned for the girl to lean in close.
He told her that he was going to tell her the secret of the greatest forms of ninjutsu and genjustsu. She nodded her head and started to listen. He told her stories of how these great techniques were used to win wars in the past. Just as she was getting eager, and just as he was about to tell her how to use the techniques, a strange alarm sounded.
A strange alarm is what woke me up. Actually, it was my cellphone, with the annoying ringtone that God knows why I chose. It didn't help that I'd fallen asleep listening to music, and it was therefore plugged into speakers either.
Anyways, I jumped at the alarm, still half asleep, and looked around the room for its source. My phone rang again helpfully and I snatched it up. Of course, I tossed it across the room in surprise though. Or at least that was the plan in my semi-alert mind. Unfortunately, the phone was still connected to the speakers and it sprang back and hit me in the face.
"Damn it, you win!" I yelled, still half dreaming, the fact that it was my phone and not an actual alarm that had woken me up escaping me. I rubbed my eyes groggily and looked down at my lap the offending object had fallen. I sighed when the fact that it was my phone registered. "Shoot. You're just my stupid little phone."
I deviously poked one of the eyes of the Hello Kitty figure on the case. Of course, the phone chose just that exact moment to ring again. I jumped slightly and dropped it into my lap again. I glared at it for a second, wondering what on earth had prompted me to choose such a stupidly annoying ringtone.
"Hey man" it was my standard greeting. I used it every time I answered the phone, and since the only people who had my number were friends and family, I wasn't too concerned about what they thought. They ought to be used to my unusual personality by now anyhow.
"Darling, it's me and you know I'm a girl. I'm also prettier than you. Why do you insist on calling me a man?" chimed the voice of my best friend, Ino Yamanaka.
"Sorry your highness didn't mean t'offend! You still on about that beauty contest that you won when you were 7?" I yawned and stretched a bit. "'Cause we both know I shoulda won."
"No hun, we both know that I won and you lost. End of story."
"Whatever. Can I help you princess?"
"Actually, you can! Are you busy during March break?"
"Uh, no but… do I wanna know why you're askin'?" I asked cautiously. Knowing Ino as I did, the younger girl probably had some insane, ridiculous plan in mind that would end up getting us all arrested.
"Perfect! Join the gang and me for a beach trip!" Ino shouted happily into the phone. I blinked at how normal it sounded. There isn't even shopping involved…
"Should I be concerned? I can't possibly see how we're going to get arrested with that plan!" I could practically hear Ino's pout on the other end. I know that girl way too well…
"Tenny! That was one time, okay! It really is Sakura's fault for getting a D on that test! If she hadn't, we wouldn't have had to change the school records!"
"Oh that's right! I forgot about that! I meant the other time we got arrested."
"I can't believe there is another time. And that, if I recall, was your fault. I warned you that painting Nerf guns black and fighting with them in the park was a bad plan!"
"Hey! That was sooo totally not my idea and-" No wait, it was my fault. Not that I'll ever admit it…
"Okay, whatever. Are you in?"
"You mean your completely legal camping trip? Who all's going?"
"Me obviously, Naruto, Neji, Shika, Hinata, Sakura and Kiba and you" Ino listed the names off.
"Huh? No Shino and Sasuke?"
"Um… Sasuke is angsting about his stupid brother- it's the anniversary of when he ditched their family- and Shino said he has to go butterfly hunting with his dad." Ino sighed. Butterfly hunting? Maybe I should think up an excuse too… not that I don't want to go, but with Ino involved, and my group supporting her… there's some kind of catch.
"What the catch?"
"No catch! Just a fun trip to the beach with all your best friends!" Too bad for me… most of those friends are couples.
"Yeah, sure, I'm coming." I switched ears.
"6:30 am in two days! Be there, or be square" with that last statement, Ino hung up before I could protest.
I looked at the clock. 8:30 it read. Damn it, I missed dinner. Ah well. I got up to go to the kitchen for something to eat. My parents were out… and as long as I avoided my brother… I'm home free to eat whatever I want for dinner!
"Hmm… what do I want for dinner?" I looked in the fridge and sighed. We literally had nothing to eat. And I mean nothing. If mom was here, she'd be able to whip up a 6 course meal but for some reason I don't share her culinary prowess.
I pulled out some cereal and milk. As an afterthought, I grabbed some grapefruit juice from the fridge too before kicking it shut.
"Holy shit!" my brother was creepy. As soon as I'd closed the fridge door, it revealed him standing behind it. Not giving me a chance to calm down, he sent a kick at me. I ducked and he fell, which gave me a chance to set my food down. He got up for another try and I punched him.
"Give it up Jason. I'm better and you know it! Gai is an excellent teacher!" Gai as in from my dreams… as in my sensei. As in I'm not crazy but I've learned martial arts from him. As in I'm not crazy! Jason gave me a confused look before mumbling about how pointless his brown belt was.
I quickly finished my cereal and dumbed the bowl into the sink. I took my juice with me and sauntered back to my room. Hmm, there really isn't much that I can do. I don't have homework (see procrastination), it's too early to sleep… I picked up my laptop, lay down, and wasted the rest of the night reading manga online.