My name is Pavarotti and I have just one purpose.
My whole lineage was bred for a sole purpose. I must follow tradition. It's just something to be expected. A way of learning. Everyone learns from me. Some wouldn't dare admit it, but they run scales with me before practice. Oh, it's nice to be needed, I'm not denying that. I can get as much attention as I want by whistling.
Life sure is boring.
–
Oh, joy. A Newbie. I finally get a brand new home. I feel special. Note: Sarcasm. He deserves a pet that he could really get to know, understand, and love. Damn Warbler tradition! …Ha. Warbler. That's a funny word. It never gets old. One of the few things that don't.
Cat shelter? Coal mine? I don't especially like these jokes. Then again, I didn't especially like the kid. He needs to have a nickname. Newbie ought to do it. Poor Newbie. He seemed lost and out of place. I really did like that song suggestion. I'm always out of pitch when I try to sing along with it, though.
I hate my singing voice. Don't tell anyone.
–
Huh. So Newbie is gay. He needs a new nickname. Maybe Suzanne. Jane? Or Kim. Lily? Whatever. If the moisturizing routine didn't clue me in, I don't know what would.
Oh, look. The Devil came for a visit...
Holy sexual tension, Batman! I think those eyes Eve is making at the Devil would definitely clue me in! If I cared. If Eve wants to fall, let him fall hard. The Devil won't catch on. I've known him long enough to realize that.
Poor Heather. Mary is just in a pickle. Kate will never learn that the Devil doesn't love him. Not yet, at least, my little Isabelle. Just keep in mind, Carla, the Devil May Cry, but he sure doesn't wear Prada. Not like you. You just scare me, Valerie.
Come to think of it, I'm not sure this whole "girl name" thing is working. Newbie just rolls off the tongue better.
–
Wow. Newbie is actually kind of fun. He feeds me well and sings to me. I sing back. I guess that's... singing together. I'm more comfortable with my voice when we sing in a duet. It's so pleasing to both of our ears. I'm pretty sure he can go higher than me. Cue Shrek accident. Oh man. I don't want to explode.
I shouldn't be so hard on Newbie. He's nice. He means well and is so careful around me, even though I'm not afraid of him in the least. He's too much of a baby face to be afraid of. Even that evil Pitbull down the road couldn't seriously maim him, his face is so full of...
Full of...
Full of love. Love. I don't know what love is. Hell, I've lived in a cage all my life! Haven't left it once. That is the trademark of a perfectly bred canary.
Yeah, I'm awesome.
–
Oh, Newbie. I can't believe it. I really do tolerate you. We've bonded over these past few days. Bonded more than I've ever bonded with anyone.
You've given me new water three times this hour. But I don't need it, Newbie. I wish you could understand that. I wish I could tell you. But I have had to stop singing recently. I know this worries you.
Don't worry, Newbie. Please, don't. I'd hate to see you cry. I mean, I hear you at night, but that's different! I don't really have to see the tears fall. It'd just break my little heart. Oh dear. Devil in the room! And he got your text!
Unfortunately, I don't think he texted you back.
–
Damn him. Damn that Devil! He knows me and he knows you. Too well. Far too well, Newbie! You let him into your head! And now... Now you're feeling all better. At least I don't have to see those tears fall. Think upside, Pavarotti.
But damn. A metaphor! No! Not with me! I have a single purpose and that certainly wasn't it. Oh god, I can't go through with this now. The Devil knew what my purpose really was and yet he does this? He's a heartless bastard from the bottom of his hooves to the tip of his pitchfork. I hope you live happily ever after, Newbie. I do.
Just not with him.
Metaphor... Curses! And he even assured you that I was just molting. But maybe this is for the best? Maybe the Devil wasn't so Devilish at all? I know you miss your friends. I would, too. So maybe I have more than one purpose. People can have more than one purpose, right? Why can't birds?
Maybe the Devil picked up on this. Maybe he wants you to be happy, yet doesn't want to simply chase you away. He could act like he never expected this. You could slip away in the night. That's what'll happen. I feel it in my gizzard! You know, that organ found in my digestive tract? That's the one!
I can go through with this, Kurt. For you.
–
My name is Pavarotti and I have just one purpose.
To die.
–
Somehow, I think Pavarotti started turning into a bird version of Dr. Cox. Don't ask me who or how, but he did.
Kind of before what happened in my other story "Pavarotti and Me" but from Pavarotti's standpoint. He's my fourth favorite character (After Kurt, Blaine, and Rachel) and he doesn't get enough love. So I pay homage to him in two stories and will probably be mentioned again from me. I am, however, obsessed with what would happen if he died.
I tried to do clever things. Like the whole "Batman" thing, it would mean Pavarotti was Robin. And Satan tempting Eve. Ha... Ha...
"You would hear crickets chirping, but they were too uncomfortable at about just how unfunny that actually was." ~ Dr. Perry Cox