Too Many Men!
Chapter 1 - Narrate, Already!
Narrator: Ah, Bikini Bottom. An undersea town where sea creatures live
in harmony…
Sandy: HARMONY? Y'all say HARMONY?! Don't y'all know that there
are just too many sick men in Bikini Bottom?!
Narrator: Um… That may be true… But if you would just let me
continue…
Sandy: CONTINUE? Heck no! I'm so angry now! HI-YAH!
(Sandy gives Narrator a giant KARATE CHOP!)
Narrator: OUCH!
Sandy: That's what y'all get for underestimatin' a gal! That's why Bikini
Bottom is so annoying sometimes! I'm movin' back to Texas!
Narrator: SANDY! NOOOOOO!
(Narrator cries. Sad music plays)
Sandy: OK, OK. I'm stayin'.
(Narrator stops crying)
Narrator (face glowing): Really?
Sandy: Really. But there's a catch.
Narrator: What's the catch? Anything for you, Sandy!
Sandy: OK… Well, I want you to narrate this story. The WHOLE story.
Narrator: OK, Sandy. Now gimme the cash.
(Sandy puts on her angry face and gives Narrator a karate chop)
Narrator: OUCH! S-s-sorry, Sandy! I was kidding!
Sandy: Fine. But one more quippin' from y'all and I'm really gonna fly
off to Texas.
Narrator: Thank you for your forgiveness, O Great One.
Sandy: Whatever. Now NARRATE ALREADY!
Narrator: Y-y-y-yes S-s-s-s-sandy.
Sandy: Good. Now start.
Narrator: All right, boss. At your service. Ah, Bikini Bot –
Me: Now hold on just a moment!
Sandy: Who're YOU? What're y'all doin' here? I'm the main character!
Me: I'm the AUTHOR!
Sandy: Uh-oh.
Me: Well, Sandy, this is only the FIRST chapter. Don't you think that
Mr. Narrator here needs a rest?
Sandy: REST? Don't y'all dare to tell me what to do with this guy!
I'm the main character, remember?
Me: I am the AUTHOR, and I have absolute power over all the
characters in this story. I can make something bad happen if
you don't cooperate.
Sandy: Fine.
Me: Good. Now I've decided that there would be no narrators in the
story, as Mr. Narrator here is busy narrating OTHER SpongeBob -
related stories.
Narrator: Oh, thank you, Author! (runs away)
Sandy (angry): Ugh… I'm gonna kill y'all…
Me: Uh-uh-uh… Remember what I said about co-operation?
Sandy: Y-y-yes…
Me: I'll also cancel your date with SpongeBob if you don't listen –
Sandy: OK, OK, I'll listen! What next?
Me: You won't get paid for this.
Sandy: Grrrr…
Me: I'm really gonna tell SpongeBob.
(Sandy grumbles; defeated)
Sandy: What now, Boss?
Me: Well, that's it actually… There is just one more thing that I'd like
you to remember…
Sandy: Huh?
Me: Don't even say a single bad word throughout this whole story.
Sandy: Why?
Me: To protect my reputation, of course! And your relationship with
SpongeBob –
Sandy: SpongeBob and I are NOT –
Me: Whatever.
Sandy (trying to control her anger): Ugh.
Me: Good job. You actually cooperated.
Sandy: Y'ALL THINK I WANNA DIE?!
Me: Ahem.
Sandy (mumbling): I am so not looking forward to Chapter 2.
Me (ignoring Sandy): That's all for now, folks! See you in Chapter 2!
(I leave)
Sandy: I hate that woman. (Leaves)
TO BE CONTINUED….