1:
Summary: A foul-mouthed board game master comes to learn that the rules are there for a reason. To be broken, that is.
I was fucking dying to get out of there.
"As written on this handout-"
This is like the eightieth handout! I'm running out of pocket space!
"-here are the room assignments for the fall quarter committees."
I skimmed the page briefly - it sucks to have real responsibilities - and folded it up, pocketing it. Out of the other pocket came my deck of cards, which I shuffled mindlessly in one hand, flipping cards over one another in a casual dance between my knuckles. Our club didn't have an assigned room, instead filing into whatever space was available. This was a simpler path, avoiding conflict between club leaders-
"Eh?!" a girl had reached the part of the page that I instantly registered as controversial. "Someone is using the reception room? That's so unfair, who is it?"
-like this.
The boy next to her elbowed her suddenly in the ribs, silencing her with a warning look. "Shut up, that's the Disciplinary Committee that you're talking about!"
Ugh, not this bastard...
A cold chill raising goosebumps along my arms as the Disciplinary Committee representative spoke. "Do you have any objection?"
Yes, you're a fucking moron and asswipe, please shut the fuck up so I can get the fuck out.
Now I'm not the most sympathetic of people - something I willingly embrace - yet even I winced as the girl rose sharply from her seat, the screech of aluminum chair on tile floor interrupting the meeting. Bending to a perfect right angle, the girl spoke clearly. "O-Of course not! I-I apologize, Hibari-san!"
Fuck my life.
Thinking through the situation, I brought up my other hand to continuously shuffle the cards, bridging and falling them into a single, neat stack.
Now, Hibari Kyoya was... interesting... to put it simply and in the best, most positive light possible. He wasn't very tall, about 170 centimeters (and I was being real fucking generous), with a mop of dark hair and a permanent scowl. Now that wouldn't be too bad on its own - I mean, there are plenty of short people with permanent bitch faces (me, for example) - but he was also completely unhinged.
What the fuck kind of person attacks other students - other children, that is - in the name of maintaining peace? That in itself was a contradiction on a basic level. He was constantly armed, even while on school grounds - breaking the very rules that he swore to uphold, as a damn matter of fact - and would fucking attack anyone and everyone. He never attended classes (which was a blessing in disguise, I suppose, as that minimized interactions - and thus, beatings) and played hooky, choosing to play a glorified and violent game of deadass hall monitor.
In all honesty, I wasn't scared of the bastard. I wasn't enough of a troublemaker to get beaten on a daily basis, just the occasional whack for profanity. I was certainly wary - who liked to get beaten up after all? - but for the most part, the guy was just annoyingly shitty.
I was part of a tiny minority who was not afraid of Hibari Kyoya, along with people who are brave (read: stupid) enough to think that they can take him on, his fucking pompadour Disciplinary Committee posse and probably his mother. The vast majority practically pissed themselves in fear whenever that guy whirled around a corner (and trust me, he whirled).
Thus, as Hibari Kyoya ordered the meeting to continue, I lacked words as three actual dumb fucks started to interrupt him. "Isn't it weird that a club gets to use the reception room?"
The next one over nodded furiously. "You think so too, Nocchi?"
"I sense some conspiracy!"
I was honestly speechless. Like sure, I wasn't scared of Hibari Kyoya because I had done nothing the fuck wrong. Just because I wasn't afraid didn't mean that I lacked the intelligence to stay out of his path. When I say that these people were dumb fucks, I mean that they were dumb fucks. Deliberately provoking the homicidal leader of arguably the biggest gang in town? I cannot find the words to imprint to you how fucking dumb that truly is.
And Hibari sensed this too. "Are you supposed to be the friendship committee? Only one representative per club at this meeting."
I genuinely snorted. One thing that I did like about Hibari. His fucking insults? Gold. Genuine gold. "Not sure that these fucking idiots have the intelligence to even form a damn friendship." I muttered, rolling my eyes and leaning back.
Hibari's eyes flickered to me for a split instant and I sat up. Ah, seriously fuck this guy! He's always on my dick for my language!
The first idiot clicked his tongue. "We're from the tree planting club which is a huge responsibility." the way he said 'huge' sent shivers down my spine. Why did he make it so fucking suggestive?! "With trying to save the planet and all," he shrugged, looking through his eyelashes at the rest of the club representatives. "we're just working on getting by."
I was pissed at this point, but held my tongue. I cannot get in more trouble this week. I cannot get in more trouble this week.
"Because we work way harder than other clubs, we need more help." with an adjustment of his glasses, his eyes narrowed. "The reception room should go to us."
I cannot get in more trouble this week. I cannot get in more trouble this week.
The second idiot appeared only to know how to nod in agreement, while the third finally did me in. "I also would like to suggest an adjustment to the club budget proposal, with a fifteen percent increase in funds allotted to the tree planting club and a proportional decrease in other clubs' funding in order to accommodate. I'm sure you all understand, as our club is undeniably vital to the survival of not only our school environment and atmosphere, but also, to our species."
I sharply inhaled. Ah, fuck it.
"Hey asshole. How about you shut the fuck up?" I kicked my seat back, balancing my chair on the back legs. The two kids beside me - deep down, I recognized them as my classmates - scooted away. "I may be a mere peon in the eyes of your tree fucking, bush loving, bitchass organization, but that doesn't give you any fucking right to take my damn money."
Hibari blinked in bewilderment, something I wish I could have truly savored, but I was on a roll.
"I may be the representative of fucking board games club, but that doesn't mean we're any less valid than you are, dickhead. Hell, I could be the representative of fucking dildo club and you wouldn't have a damn right to take my club's shit away from us." Swinging the chair forward, I leaned across the table, staring down each one, baring my teeth. "Now two of you get the fuck out of this meeting."
As the meeting disbanded, the boy on my right tapped my shoulder. "Jippensha-san, was that really the best idea?"
I squinted. "Uehara, right?"
"We've been classmates since kindergarten..."
"Oh, that's why the haircut was familiar." I nodded in approval to myself. "Yeah, I shouldn't have fucked around during the meeting when Hibari could've kicked my ass, but those dicks were really asking for it."
Uehara looked skeptical. "The guy with the glasses pissed himself when you waterfalled that black deck of cards between your hands after telling them to leave."
"Eh, he fuckin' deserved it."
This ordeal only managed to bring me more trouble.
"Jippensha Rui."
I internally groaned, before masking it with a cheerful grin, whipping around in the hallway. "H-Hibari! It's nice to see you! Did you do something different with your weapons? They're looking damn- I mean, really, uh, threatening!"
His eyes narrowed further. "If I catch you speaking profanity in these halls again, I will bite you to death."
Seriously, he is lucky I'm not from dildo club, because that is seriously kinky as fuck. And not gonna lie, would have been a little bit of a turn on, if he didn't actually fucking mean it.
"Got it, captain! Shit- I mean, shoot." I grimaced. "Got it, Hibari."
"Get to class."
I seriously fucking hate that guy.
this is like the least serious shit i have ever done
and i wrote tots and that was not serious at all wtf
im going to learn more about board games than i ever wanted to, fml