Once on a time there was a cat named sqweakers.
Once on a time there was a train named killyaifyabugme.
Once on a time there was a dead cat.
Today is the perfect day on Merry-go. Sanji was thinking this because they have landed in a peaceful town called Bloodydagger. Today is the day that Sanji gets to cook the giant fish that Nami caught last night. He caught something too. Sanji touched the slap mark on his face.
"Where to start?" Sanji asked himself aloud in his navel tone. Of all the years on the Baratie, he still never decided where to start.
"I better leave the toast and pancakes for later, I'll make the fish now." Luffy, Zolo, Ussop, and Nami went for a walk around town. He thought he'd surprise them with the greatest breakfast he ever made! He started to scale the fish. Everybody liked the fish he makes, except Zolo. Then it hit him. Zolo never appreciated anything that he made, usually he just slept though dinner, or ate something plain, like a cucumber, or pepperoni, or cheese nips. SO WHAT IF HE CAN SAY 'GET YOUR OWN BOX' IN SPANISH! Actually, Zolo and himself never got to know each other, except when Captain Jack Sparrow tied them back to back. A lot of secrets were shared that night. Sanji shuddered at the thought. Zolo was drunk that night. Sanji didn't know whether what Zolo was saying was true or the beer talking. If it was true…he thought of poor, innocent Luffy…he was still a virgin.
Sanji finished with the fish and let it simmer in a pot while he made the bacon and pancakes, and popped some bread into the toaster. Was Zolo his friend? He was a bounty hunter, and Luffy has one the highest bounties he had ever seen! 30,000,000 berries! He wondered why they called it 'berries'. Why not just call it money. 30,000,000 moneys. Yep, that's why they call them berries.
Everybody on the ship hated him. Nami hated him, he touched the slap mark on his cheek. Luffy…well, Luffy's just weird, and in the bad way. Ussop hated him because of that incident at Arlong park. IT WAS ZOLO'S FAULT! And Zolo hated him. He wondered why Zolo hated him. Nami hated him because he's a pervert, Ussop hated him because that night at the hotel when he was drunk and he…wait, let's not go into that. And Luffy, well Luffy is still just weird.
After he finished with the pancakes, Sanji started to lay out some oranges, tangerines and apples on the table. Everybody liked Zolo, Nami liked Zolo, Ussop liked Zolo, Luffy liked Zolo. HE MADE HIM FIRST MATE! 'After I make this beautiful breakfast, everyone is going to like me and forget Zolo! And after he is forgotten, he will run away and commit suicide! And I will be first mate! Oh, wait, Ussop would be first mate…wait! Ussop would probably run after Zolo…but that would mean…my breakfast wasn't perfect! Well if I can't poison him, and I can't make him run away, then…' Sanji started to pour the drinks, inside Zolo's cup of coffee (Zolo had his own cup), he poured in the contents of a bottle. On the bottle it said 'Liquid Laxative, It'll make you go all day, but now, it's a liquid!' Sanji wondered why Luffy had that on his ship…
The breakfast was all ready, all he had to do now was set the table. He got out the syrup, and butter, and sugar, and milk, and beer. Everyone on this ship was drunk at least once, or was it twice? He couldn't wait till they got back. Everything was perfect!
He heard them climb aboard. They opened the door, and were shocked to see the beautiful breakfast. But then, they all went onto the deck. Sanji chased after them.
"Wait, I made breakfast!" Sanji shouted
"That's okay, we got McDonalds." Nami said while holding up a bag with a big M on it.
"But, But…" Sanji didn't know what to say. He was caught between shock, frustration, and disappointment.
"That's okay, we brought you an egg Mcmuffin!" Luffy said while holding it out to him
Sanji dropped to his knees. This can't be happening! How could they refuse his special breakfast for grease between buns? Sanji took a long drink of coffee, if they were going to go out to eat, then why did they need a cook on their ship? Zolo touched him on the shoulder.
"It's okay, we'll have it later." Zolo said in a caring voice
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Sanji screamed at him
"How is it Zolo's fault?" Luffy asked, his mouth filled with hash browns
"He probably convinced you guys to go out to eat!" Sanji screamed
"Actually, that was Nami's idea." Ussop said
"Wait, let me talk to Sanji for a moment." Zolo said, gripping Sanji arm and pulling him to the lower deck.
"Now, why did you…wha…I'm confused!" Zolo said
"Why do you hate me?" Sanji asked
"I don't hate you!" Zolo said
"Yes you do! You hated me from the beginning!" Sanji screamed
Zolo sighed, "Well, remember that night that Jack Sparrow, tied us up?" Zolo asked
"Yeah, he tied us back to back, and you were drunk!" Sanji said
"No, you were drunk, and I was half asleep, and we were tied front to front, and you can only guess what happen then. And ever since then, I never looked at you the same way." Zolo explained
Sanji waited a moment before he talked, "then it was me, who was drunk, and you were…but that means, I and you, and we did…" Sanji shuddered at the thought
"By the way, why did you drink outta my cup?"