Hey all, I found this on my computer yesterday. I honestly don't remember if I wrote this or someone else did. I am posting this because I think that some of you might like. If I am not the original author, then please tell me so that credit may be given where necessary. Also, I like reviews and critiques. Flames, on the other hand, will be directed back at the flamer so that I may enjoy.

As should be obvious, I am not Joss Whedon. I do not own Firefly, or any of the characters. I am making no money here so move along.

"JAYNE!" The yell rang through the ship. Every member of the Serenity's crew stopped what they were doing and shared a single thought: 'Mal is not happy.'

And they were right. The Captain was very angry. Really, really, really angry at his mercenary.

The reason was obvious, if a little stupid. 'However, this is Mal we're talking about,' thought at least one of the crewmembers. It was Jayne's turn to do the dishes. Actually last night had been Jayne's turn, but the pile of dirty dishes in the galley proved that the gorilla of a man had not done his duty.

This was understandable. Everyone had spent the previous night at a large party. Jayne (and Mal as well) had partaken of the local brew and gotten extremely inebriated. The hangover had not helped Mal's mood.

The most pressing problem about the dishes though was that it was time to cook dinner, and Mal hated starting a meal when the foul remains of the previous meal were still festering in the sink.

"JAYNE! WHERE ARE YOU?" Mal shouted again.

Come to think about it, no one had seen hide nor hair of Jayne all day.

Simon entered the galley. "Why are you shouting so loud?"

"Because Jayne didn't do the dishes." Stated Mal.

"So bang on his door." The doctor said, rubbing his head. "some people are trying to recover."

"Well, sorry, Doctor." Mal said in a sheepish manner.

Simon led the way out of the galley toward Jayne's bunk.

Mal banged on the door. "JAYNE, GET OUT HERE!"

Simon winced.

"I can't." came a voice from inside the room. "I'm sorta tied up."

Simon and Mal rolled their eyes. "Jayne, stop whatever business you're doing and get out here."

"I'm tied up." Came the merc's reply.

Simon beat Mal to speaking, "Jayne, whatever you are doing, we don't care. Get out here and do the dishes."

"GORRAMIT!" they heard, "You idiots, it ain't a damn eupheem-"

"That's euphemism." Corrected the doctor.

They heard a slew of words directed at Simon Tam that were not appropriate for conversation, civilized or otherwise. Finally, Jayne said, "I am actually tied up. With ropes and everything."

Mal and Simon shared a look of horror, amusement, and wonder.

"Are you decent?" They asked together.

"I guess."

"We're coming down." Mal opened Jayne's door. The two men went the ladder.

At the bottom they met a sight that neither would forget for the rest of their days. Simon left without saying a word, a strangled laugh/scream was heard a few seconds later. Mal was stunned then started to chuckle.

Jayne lay on his bunk. He wore his pants but his shirt and boots were on the ground. His hands were tied to the rack that held all of guns and knives on the wall. This did not cause the reactions of the two men.

No, they had both seen River curled up on Jayne's torso. She looked so peaceful lying there. Mal was reminded of how cats would lie on people's laps, and it almost looked like River was purring.

"Jayne, how did this happen?"

"Actually, Mal, I don't know how I got into this mighty creepifying position." Jayne said, as shocked as Simon had been, and maybe a little afraid. "I don't believe she was here when I went to bed."

Hope you enjoyed this story. Have a nice day. Remember, flames will be used to start a barbeque, OF YOU!