(A.N. Hey guys, this is my first anything...so be gentle.
Basically Spencer writes a poem about her feelings for Ashley and how Ashley keeps hurting her. )
I
am a slave to a lovely slaver
I yearn for freedom, Yet I love your
lashings
Do I run for freedom? Rebel against my mistress? Or stay
in this delicious masochistic cycle?
In this self pain I'm
inflicting I must wonder
What do I want?
Am I noble and want
what you want?
Or do I just want you?
Every part of me
knows it won't work with you
Yet I keep running into that spike
I
keep letting that fire burn
I keep lowering that noose
That
razor is just for you.
So I will keep my self in this
torturous gorgeous circle
Because it's for you
Every time you
smiles, it kills me
Yet I wish you a thousand more
I would cut
out my heart and give it to you.
It beats for you anyways.
Every
tear you cry stings my soul
I would die fighting a thousand
armies
to avenge that single tear
Every pain you have I carry
with me
To stop your pain would fulfill a thousand of my
lifetimes
I am not a noble person.
Yet I now know what i
want.
I want to continue my pain.
I want this hole in my chest
to stay.
I want to still feel the sting of your silence.
I want
to let the lash burn.
I want to stay enslaved.
I want to keep
loving you.