Alaska – Bering Sea

The submarine swam through the chilly sea.

"The nuclear weapons disposal facility on Shadow Moses Island in Alaska's Fox Archipelago was attacked and captured by Next Generation Special Forces Bitch Fucks being led by members of FOX-HOUND.

They're demanding that the government turn over the remains of Big Boss…disgusting I know… and they say that if their demands are not met in 24 hours, they'll blow some shit up.

You'll have two mission objectives. First you're to rescue DARPA chief, Donald Duck Anderson and the President of ArmsTech, Kenneth Bun Baker. Both are being held as hostages.

Secondly, you're to investigate whether or not the terrorists have the ability to make shit blow up… and stop them if they do."

"What's the insertion method?" Snake asked

"We'll approach the disposal facility by sub."

Snake readied himself "And then?"

"We'll launch a one-man SDV. After the SDV gets as close as it can, dispose of it. From there on you'll have to swim."

The SDV was launched and Snake's adventure began. He shook around like a rag doll.

"High Tech Special Forces Bitch Fucks Unit FOX-HOUND. Your former unit and one that I was a commander of,"

"So they're still around," Snake said.

"There are six members of FOX-HOUND involved in this terrorist activity. Psycho Mantis, with powerful sexual psychic abilities. Sniper Wolf, the sexy lady with a sniper. Decoy Octopus, master of cosplay. Vulcan Raven, a big bald muscle dude. And Revolver Ocelot, some guy who can shoot a gun. And finally, in charge of them… FOX-HOUND's squad leader, Liquid Snake."

The SVD came apart and Snake began to swim "Liquid Snake?"

"The man with a slightly less sexual code name than you. The nuclear weapons disposal facility covers the whole island. I'll instruct you by codec after you reach your target,"

"Anyone going with me?" Snake eagerly asked.

"As usual, this is a one-man infiltration mission."

Snake swam ever closer to the facility like a sperm reaching an egg "I'm guessing that you're not giving me any weapons you cheap bastards?"

"Yes. This is a top-secret black op. Don't expect any official support."

Snake reached the surface of the water; he then grabbed onto a ledge and pulled himself up on to the land. He started to remove his flippers.

"Stay alert!" Liquid Snake ordered the guards "He'll be through here… I know it. I'm going to swat down a couple of bothersome flies I don't know why they annoy me…maybe because I smell, hmm I'm going to have to take shower aren't I?"

The guard didn't answer.

"I hate showers," Liquid Snake muttered.

He pressed a button on the elevator and was brought up towards the ground floor.

The guard watched Liquid go up and when he knew he had gone, the guard pulled his earphones out and chuckled.

Snake kneeled behind a large container and activated his codec.

The lovely codec screen popped up and the conversation began.

"This is Snake," Snake said "Colonel, can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear," Colonel confirmed "Wassup?"

"Look's like the elevator in the back is the only way up." Snake said.

"Just as I expected, you'll have to take the elevator to the surface. But make sure nobody sees you. If you need to, then give me a call and we'll have a chat. The frequency is 140.85. When you want to use the Codec, push the select button on your Playstation controller. When we need to contact you, the Codec will make you fart. When you fart, press the select button again. The Codec's receiver directly stimulates your buttocks and vibrates all the way up to the small bones in your ear. No-one but you will be able to hear it unless you fart loudly,"

"Got it, silent but deadly." He readied himself "Okay. I'm ready to go."

He turned off the Codec and crawled under box. He stood up and ran over to another box expertly dodged out of the sight of a guard. He then ran over to another box and hid under it, watching a guard patrol towards the box but still not notice Snake like a complete douche. He crawled from under the box and ran quickly towards a fork lift, he hid behind the fork lift and even though a guard was looking directly at him, he wasn't noticed. He waited there until the elevator came back down and ran past the guard who came off. And even though the guard noticed Snake, he couldn't be bothered to shoot at Snake even though he could have quite easily. Snake was on the elevator up towards Shadow Moses and he was going to save the world!