Kath: hey everybody :D This story was really meant to be published last weekend but i had many school things to do and that's also why i am a little behind with ''Mistakes can change your life'' but I'm free for school this week so I'm writing more on chapter 3 :) well enjoy the story and just so you know it's a one-shot

Abandoned.

I was looking down at the beach seeing my doll abandoned on the cold stone. Yeah it maybe sounds weird but actually am I dead. But it's not that bad, I mean yeah I can't meet my dad and brother in heaven.. But everything else is fine, I can still meet.. Or more correct see my mother. I'm not angry at her, like other people would be. Yeah it's her fault I died but it's also my own fault. Okey it sounds weird to you guys, right? So I think I'm just start from the beginning.

''mom'' I said starring at her. I was a little scared that something had happened to dad since we hadn't seen him in two days. And it didn't help that mom just stared at the wall with blank eyes and totally pale face.

''I'm going to sleep now'' mom said still starring at nothing special. While she walked away I took the phone..

''hello? Who is it?'' I asked with shaking voice afraid that something bad had happened.

'' oh.. hello there, it's the doctor from Osaka Hospital'' he said sounding a little sad but also kind of happy.

'' what is going on?'' I said confused about the situation. I mean I don't even know if it's something about dad or a person I don't know.

''I'm sorry but.. your dad is dead'' the doctor said, whispering the last part but I could still hear him. I felt really much pain in my chest right at that second.

''what happened?'' I asked worried. Looking around the room to be sure that my little brother wouldn't hear anything.

''he were in a car accident and he lost too much blood and didn't make it to the hospital in time'' I heard him say through the phone. And I could already feel all the tears running down my cheeks.

''okey.. *sniff* thanks for calling and telling me about it'' I said shutting the phone. I couldn't take it anymore I collapsed on the floor crying so much that my eyes and head hurt. I just laid there my eyes closed as if I were ready to die right at the second.

I still remember that I couldn't stop thinking about my dad's death. So it was really hard for me to go through my brother's death. I can still hear his screams and cries of pain. And it really pisses me off that I can't stop see that horrible picture in my head, of him covered in blood with tears running down his face and his sorrowful pained eyes looking at me, begging me to do something about it when I couldn't do anything to save him.

I was walking down the hall, until I felt someone tie my hands behind my back. And then the person that bound me dragged me into a dark room. The so called person tied me to a chair and walked up in front of me. I looked up at the person and saw that it was my mom. It was the first time I had seen her. I hadn't seen her in weeks. She had been so depressed that I thought she were going to die or something like that. She was always in her room and couldn't be together with my brother. Because he reminded her so much of our dad, he looked like him, talked like him, behaved like him, even had the same ambitions our dad had. I knew it was painful for mom and I didn't blame her because it was kind of painful for me too. But I knew that I never would feel so much pain like mom felt. And it wasn't my brother's fault because he was just himself. I looked around the room. The thought about my brother got me back to world. My mother walked over to me and stopped right in front of me.

''listen sweetie, if you don't look at your brother the whole time, then he is going to suffer much more'' my mom said looking really serious right into my eyes. I looked confused at her but she just smiled at me.

''ok then I think you understand'' she said and walked into the dark side of the room. The light turned on and some metres away from me law my brother all tied up on the floor. He looked up at me. His face expression showed me that he was really scared.

''it's okey nothings gonna happen'' I said to him like I knew that there were nothing to be scared of and when I said that he just began to smile while still looking at me. But after five seconds he began to scream. I looked at him shocked and right beside him I saw some red liquid floated out of his arm. I looked back to our mom and saw that she had a knife in her hand and that the knife had some of the same red liquid running down the end of the knife and spilt it to the floor, then I knew it.. it was blood. I felt the tears run down my cheeks. Our mother just stood there looking at my brother, disgusted showed in her eyes. My brother didn't stop crying and it didn't help at all that our mom just cut him again and again. Until there almost wasn't some space left that hadn't been cut .i knew that he wouldn't survive with so much blood lost. I tried to get of the chair but my hands were bound really tight together, so it just began to hurt like hell. But the only pain I felt right there were the pain for my brother's disorders. I couldn't stop the tears from falling. When I saw that he began to close his eyes and his painfully cries finally stopped. The only sound in the room were my sobbing cries and my mom's satisfactioned laugh. After that moment I knew that it was dangerous to see or meet my mom.

I still remember the pain I had after that. I couldn't stop blaming myself for my brother's death and after some boring days of hiding from my mom.. I took my own life.

I had walked to the beach taking my doll with me. I sat it down on the big cold stone with my video camera to filming what's about to happen. I stilled the camera so it watched the half of the ocean and the half of a cliff. I left the doll and camera on the stone and took my little bag with me. I walked up to the end of the of the cliff, so I could watch out over the sea. I stood there some time and thought about how my life had been. Then I took out a little gun I found in my mom's room and pointed it to my head a little scared at first, but then I pulled the trigger and shot myself in the head. After that I fell over the cliff and right in the ocean .

The only reason I left the doll were so my mom wouldn't feel abandoned as I felt when my dad and brother died. And so there were someone looking over her. Because I thought I would leave the world and go to heaven when I died, but for some reason I'm still here and can look after her.

Kath: so.. yeah.. I'm finished with this one-shot and now I'm really tired :( well next time you guy hear from me is when I update ''Mistakes can change your life'' ;D see ya later

Thanks for reading please R & R :D