This is a random one-shot crack drabble – yes, another one – that I thought of after discovering that Fubuki-sama is still at Duel Academia… I don't own GX, nor will I ever.
Powerful Manifestation of Godliness
Tenjoin Fubuki was tired.
He was tired of being around adolescent boys and giggling freshman girls (even if some of them were rather good-looking). He was tired of people staring at him as he walked around the campus of Duel Academia, he was tired of listening to Chronos-sensei drone on about trap cards and chaining, he was tired of being the only third-year student at Duel Academia who had been a third year for three years.
He had been brainwashed, taken over by an unfathomably powerful manifestation of darkness, kicked out of his own dorm by a group of white-obsessed light-worshippers, been sent into an alternate dimension, been knocked unconscious by a couple of large and hideous demons, chained up, sacrificed by his own friend, sent to an alternate dimension that was simultaneously hot and cold, light and dark – surely this all qualified for some sort of school credit. Yet here he was, still at Duel Academia, and, well, credit-less.
So it was with a hopeful heart that he headed to Principal Samejima's office. The principal had requested to see him only two days after his return from the hell-world, and he had assumed that the principal had finally accepted Fubuki's graduation request. Either that, or Samejima wanted Fubuki to resurrect Darkness a second time to kill his third wife for cheating on him.
He finally reached the sliding doors and waltzed in. "You wanted to see me, sir?" he asked cheerfully, coming to a halt in front of the principal's desk.
Samejima sighed and pulled out a file from inside his desk. "Yes, Fubuki-san. I got your request, so I found your report…"
"Pretty groovy report, isn't it, sir?" Fubuki intoned.
"Er… if you say so…" Samejima looked confused at Fubuki's diction. "Well, anyway, it says here that you're nineteen now…"
"And I'm still at school," Fubuki said sadly. "It makes me feel pretty retarded to have been held back twice."
Samejima glanced at the report. "Yes, I imagine it does."
"I mean, I'm pretty smart. I was the second in my class, just under Ryo. Then you told me that I couldn't graduate."
"Well, that was because you hadn't been in class for a year and a-" Samejima began uncomfortably before Fubuki went into a dramatic monologue.
"I hadn't been in class because I had been lured into the abandoned dorm by my favorite teacher, tortured, brainwashed, and controlled by an unfathomably powerful manifestation of darkness!" Fubuki insisted tearfully. "It wasn't my fault I wasn't in class! Believe me, sir, I would have definitely been in class if I hadn't been all, you know, sadistic and 'Seven Stars'-ish. I didn't know I was doing horrible things, all I remember is this darkness closing in around me while these little critters that looked like Heartless were crawling all over me. Then I woke up and I was wearing that bizarre outfit, lying in my sister's arms on top of a volcano while this creepy kid I've never seen before is staring at me, telling me I tried to kill his friends!"
"I understand, but Fubuki-san-"
"Then you told me, 'Fubuki-san, you can't graduate with your buddies because you weren't in class.' I mean, really! So I suffer through a second year, watching my sister, my love pupil, and a few of my amigos get brainwashed by a psychopathic ray of light – which my parents thought was a load of bullshit, by the way – while I get kicked out of my own dorm so this said group of brainwashed people can live in my room – I mean, it was like a harem, who knows what were they even doing in my room! Then you tell me, 'Fubuki-san, I want you to resurrect the ultimate embodiment of evil and knock some sense back into your buddy.' So I get my butt kicked by my former best friend, he tells me I'm a moron for wasting my time on him, and he walks off without ever saying anything to me again, the emo jerk!"
"Fubuki-san-"
"So you tell me, after the stupid and completely useless Genex tournament was over, 'Oh, Fubuki-san, you can graduate! Have fun with life!' And I'm like, 'Hell. Yes.' But guess what? You call me back to the school! Why the heck did I even come back if I apparently never graduated? So I'm back in classes, I'm nineteen years old, and I'm freaking surrounded by adolescent boys! Half of whom are gay!"
"Well, Fubuki-san, you never really… took enough classes… you had half a year left that I'd overlooked-"
Fubuki, who was clearly not listening, plowed on with his life story. "I was then sent into a hellish alternate dimension after I came back to finish that half-year, where I was attacked by demons, chained up, and brutally sacrificed by Judai-kun - who turned out to be the Supreme King who sacrificed roughly ninety percent of the population of that stupid alternate dimension, mind you – and sent to hell! Is that not an adequate enough equivalent for my classes? How come everyone else – including that homicidal maniac – gets to advance in their classes while I'm nineteen years old and still here? Did that particular epoch not count for me, whereas it apparently counted for everyone freaking else?"
"Fubuki-"
"If you're using me to figure out what exactly happened in that abandoned dorm, I'm going to be severely pissed, by the way."
"That's not-"
"Also, if this has anything to do with my fangirls, anything at all, I will rip out your left kidney with a spatula and feed it to Pharaoh."
Samejima didn't know what to say to that.
"All I can say is, I'm sick of being here. Nobody will even tell me why I'm still here, and I doubt it's for a good reason. As FDR once said, 'What is the use of living, if it be not to strive for noble causes and to make this muddled world a better place for those who will live in it after we are gone?'"
"Er, Fubuki, that wasn't-"
"I want to live for something, not live to be the guy over there that all the fangirls drool over. Can't I have a purpose? Can I be in the spotlight for once?"
"Only if you stay at the school," Samejima said pointedly.
"I can't have the spotlight on me if I just… drop out of school and become a famous ukuleleist?"
"No, you have to- wait, what?"
"That's settled, then," Fubuki said brightly.
"What's settled?" Samejima said, obviously confused.
"I'm dropping out of school," Fubuki said matter-of-factly, "to become a famous ukuleleist. I'll see you on MTV." He turned around and started to head toward the door.
"But-but Fubuki-san! Think of all the good times you've had here!" Samejima spluttered desperately. "Like the-the- the talent show your first year!"
"Which I came in second in, I might remind you," Fubuki said, scowling as he turned back around. "I was way better than Ryo. The ukulele act was ten times better than Ryo's stand-up comedy act. He's not even a funny guy. I told him that. I said to him, on numerous occasions, 'Ryo, if you just get laid, you might mellow out.' Did he listen to me? No. The guy's never getting a girlfriend. I even tried to hook him up with my sister, but did that work? No. She ran off with Supreme King Ultimate Genocide, Cranky Emo Lad, Super Dino-Boy, and Ryo's little brother, whereas Ryo turned into Mr. Sadistic McMasochist. What's up with that?"
"But… what does that have to do with-"
"Although, I must admit, the naked clansmen incident was quite fun…" Fubuki mused, ignoring the principal.
"The… what?" Samejima was beyond confused.
"Oh, didn't you hear about that? I thought for sure Kabayama-sensei would have mentioned it… after all, I got stuck in detention for a month after it…" Fubuki's voice trailed off, his eyes misting over.
"I think I remember Kabayama-sensei mentioning something like that… Was that the one that involved you running through the woods screaming while naked clansmen, who apparently came from nowhere, shot at you from the trees?" Samejima asked wearily.
"No, no, you've got some of it mixed up. I was naked. They were fully clothed. I'm pretty sure it might have been some of the other Obelisk guys that were dressed up as clansmen who were shooting at me from the trees," Fubuki explained.
Samejima went into another lapse of silence as he tried to wrap his mind around this. Finally, he decided to just give up. "Fubuki-san," he began finally, "I have a proposal for you."
"Does it involve free access to the north beach that I'm not allowed to go to?" Fubuki asked hopefully. I can turn that one into a nude beach, he thought gleefully. Oh, I am such a pimp.
"…sure, why not."
"I'm listening."
Samejima leaned forward. "If you stay at the school, I promise that nothing unusual will happen."
"You mean, I won't be lured into the abandoned dorm again and used as a vessel to contain an unfathomably powerful Evil Manifestation of Darkness?"
"Er… yeah."
"Yeah I'll be used as a vessel or yeah I won't?"
"Uh… the second bit."
"Which second bit, the second bit about being used as a vessel to contain an unfathomably powerful Evil Manifestation of Darkness, or the second bit about not being used as a vessel to contain an unfathomably powerful Evil Manifestation of Darkness?"
"Fubuki-san."
"Just wondering. So as long as I'm not being used as a vessel to contain an unfathomably powerful Evil Manifestation of Darkness, I'll stay at Duel Academia. If I am used as said vessel, I am abandoning this school to live out my dream from five minutes ago where I become a world-renowned ukuleleist after I shove you off the volcano and blame it on my incredibly sexy alter ego. Deal?"
"Deal. Now Fubuki-san, please get out of my office."
"Right-o."
Fubuki left the office, a feeling of foreboding coming over him. His godly sixth sense was telling him that he had been screwed in some way. He had never known his godly sixth sense to be wrong.
---
Late that night, he woke up. He had been having a bizarre dream, involving him in a horrible mask – that awful mask that had been part of his "Darkness" getup. He looked around his room. For some reason, the television was completely static and muted. He hadn't remembered even watching television that night. And how the hell had he fallen asleep sitting up on the couch? For no apparent reason, he got up and walked to his cabinet, in which was contained his Mask of Ultimate Evil and his Deck of Ultimate Evil. He could feel the Ultimate Evil emanating from them.
"I've just been shafted by Samejima," Fubuki said in exasperation. "Ouch."
He knew he should have listened to his godly sixth sense.
…oh well. At least he was allowed to be the Ultimate God of Sexy Darkness again.
End
You can't deny it. Fubuki is a bitchin' pimp. And he transcends all degrees of man in his incredibleness. You can't deny that the man is infinitely godly.
The quote was from Winston Churchill, by the way.