"What's on your mind?"
Mai turned to look at him, slightly irritated that he had broken the silence, but mostly glad that he had thought to ask. "Oh, the usual. Nothing," she replied, leaning into him. The shade of the tree above covered them both, and the dappled shadows played with the ripples on the pond. They were in the courtyard of the palace, a place they retreated to more and more.
Zuko tossed a leaf on to the water, watching it drift. "You must be thinking about something."
Why did everything have to have a meaning, a purpose? Couldn't he just relax? "I'm thinking about how it's possible to think about nothing." He gave her a soft glare.
"Of course. That makes perfect sense."
"Doesn't it, though?" she replied without missing a beat. "Thinking about nothing is relaxing; you should try it sometime."
A breeze ruffled Zuko's hair. Mai watched with interest, noting how much better she liked it when it was long. "How can I think about nothing?" he asked, his voice almost pleading. "There's so much to think about." Another leaf flew from his hands to the water.
"Not if you choose not to think about it."
He sighed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "It always sounds so easy when you say it," he muttered, somewhat good-naturedly. "It comes so naturally to you." Amused orange eyes came to rest on hers. "You have a gift, Mai."
"It's not a gift, just a skill," she countered in defense. "I've had lots of practice."
Her words seemed to echo in the pleasant silence that followed. And although Zuko probably thought nothing of it, Mai was suddenly brought back to her past.
When the practice began.
"Hush."
"But—"
"HUSH."
Mai bit her lip, not daring to look up at her father's face. He was so much bigger than her; and she was tall for a 7-year-old.
"Don't say anything, do you hear me?"
"Yes, father," she whispered, her throat closing with an onslaught of tears.
"I speak for you. Even if they ask you questions, you wait for me to answer them. Do not smile or laugh; no noise at all."
"But what if I have to sneeze?" It had seemed such an obvious question at the time. Everybody had to sneeze. However, catching Mai by complete surprise, her father grabbed her throat with both hands, pressing her chin upwards with his thumbs. She was forced to look at his slowly aging face, with wrinkles pressed into his forehead and brow from frowning. Her mother had the same lines, she noticed.
"No noise." His voice was low, almost menacing. His dark eyes were sharp and hard. Not even daring to swallow, Mai just stared back, emptying her face of all emotion like she knew he wanted.
Satisfied, he released her face. Placing a hand upon her back, he gently led her to the double doors. As they opened, Mai was hit with a wave of music, talk and laughter. Laughter that she wouldn't get to share.
Her throat began to close again, but she forced the emotions down with the strength of desperation. She would make her family proud.
"Thinking about something now?"
Mai allowed herself a small smile. "Just remembering."
"I remember Azula pushing you and I into the pool."
"I remember that, too." She tilted her chin upwards to look at him, and kiss him swiftly on the lips. "A rather fond memory, actually. Better than the ones I was thinking about."
Zuko smiled. "Good. That's what I was hoping for." With the arm around her shoulders, he reached down and took her hand gently. She let him, enjoying the touch. "And, in case I never told you: I love your smile."
The corners of her mouth twitched upwards involuntarily.
The party was going well; her father's mood improved the more people they met. She was introduced to a hundred smiling faces, and a thousand frowning ones. It was harder to keep her expression blank when she met the smiling faces.
Entertainers were off the stage now, wandering through the crowds in an attempt to earn extra tips. Buttons vanished into thin air, only to be pulled out of a goblet. Contortionists twisted themselves through the crowd in ways that were almost grotesque; they drew more stares than any other. Magicians blew on their palms, and orchids flew to land in the hair of young ladies.
Miniature fiery horses galloped across the shoulders of one talented Firebender; she made them canter down her arm, to halt in a small herd on the back of her hand. She offered the hand to Mai. A stallion was at the head, and he reared with a high-pitched, miniature whinny.
She couldn't help it. Mai giggled.
The giggle drew a smile from the performer, and a scowl from her father. As the Firebender left to pursue others in the crowd, he drew Mai into a corridor, darker than the rest of the dance floor.
A stinging slap almost brought the young girl to her knees, but she remained standing out of sheer will. When she opened her eyes, with a hand that had flown immediately to her cheek, her father was staring right at her with that dark gaze.
"What did I say?"
"But—"
"What did I say?"
Mai stared back at him for a moment, then looked down, taking her hand from her cheek. "No noise."
"No noise. None at all. I speak for you, I smile for you, I laugh for you. You are silent, and you are expressionless. A doll." She brightened slightly at the mention of 'doll', although only on the inside. Outside, her face remained the same. He gently took her by the chin, and made her look up at him. "A beautiful doll. You are my beautiful daughter, remember that. And make me proud."
Mai immediately vowed that she would never smile again. He would be proud of her.
Another leaf flew from Zuko's dancing hand to the water; he couldn't seem to keep still. Mai gently plucked the last leaf from his fingers, tossing it into the pond herself. Ducks came to investigate, and for a moment, they weren't alone anymore. The sensation felt foreign.
"I'm hungry."
"So am I."
"Want to see if the cook will give us some food before supper?" Zuko turned to look at her, surprised.
"I didn't think you were one to bend the rules."
"Again: I'm hungry."
He stood up first, and then offered to help her up. She took his hand gratefully. They walked out into the sunlight, fingers entwined.
"I think I'm in the mood for a pie; how about you?"
Mai smiled.
I own nothing. Information on Mai's past is taken from implications in "The Beach".
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