A/N: Okay, seriously, when I started writing this fanfic I had no idea it'd end up being that long, I think the fangirl in me has gone completely nuts :P I'm really curious to see where our favorite couple will lead us, guys, honestly ;) In any case, a big "Thank you" to xXpurpleskiesXx, who helped me choose the song mentioned in this story :)
The title is taken from the song "I'd come for you" by Nickelback
Disclaimer: I don't own the Attack on Titan universe and characters
If someone asked Sasha how on earth she manages to share an apartment with two guys, she'd laugh and say that it's one of the best things that have ever happened in her life. The one may be a cheerful goofball and the other may be stubborn and pretending to be emotionless although he hides a big softie in him, but when she wakes up and sees them eating breakfast in the kitchen and teasing each other, she feels content and lucky to have these two in her life; it's an image that tells her that everything is alright in the world, something to calm her and keep her on her toes at the same time because she loves taking care of her 'two boys who are twenty-two years old and still behave like children' according to Eren's goodhearted joke.
The three of them have busy schedules during the day, with college and work and their friends occupying their time, but they always make sure to see each other every morning before leaving for their respective destinations; they share the chores their apartment has, balancing them with their schedules and taking care that the one with the heaviest program of the day is relieved from the duties even a small household like theirs has.
"Morning, you two," she greets them now as she enters the kitchen, receiving a one-arm hug from Connie, who's helping himself to another portion of scrambled eggs and a sleepy wave from Jean—the guy needs two mugs of coffee to fully wake up, they know it by now.
"Morning, Sash!"
"Good morning, Potato Girl!"
"Jean! When will you stop calling me that?" Sasha exclaims with a tone that's supposed to sound hurt, but can't hide her amusement; she's earned that nickname years ago, from the first day of junior high school when she ate a potato in the middle of the class and managed to receive her very first detention that day.
"Oh, believe me, Sasha, we'll never let you live this one down." Connie snickers and pats Jean's back while sitting down. "Seriously, girl, what were you thinking, were you asking for trouble?"
"Hey, it wasn't my fault, it would be a crime not to eat it while it was hot and delicious, Shadis was just too strict not to see that."
"Shame on him, how could he do that to you and that poor potato," now it's Jean's turn to snicker and he ruffles the young woman's hair, Sasha sitting down next to him.
"Hey, aren't you supposed to still be in Dreamland, Kirstein, or do you forget your lazy sleepiness when it comes to mocking poor Potato Girl who's stuck with two guys?"
"Well, last time I checked, you didn't object that much when we dropped the idea, jumping up and down, clapping in your hands, hugging every person who was next to us—"
"—and saying that it was the damn best high school graduation gift ever!" Connie finished Jean's sentence and the two of them burst in fits of hysterical laughter, because Sasha is so easy to tease and so open to their jokes that the three of them have fun for the smallest reason, even Jean, who's the most serious and focused of the group.
"So, what program do you guys have today?" Jean asks them now, his eyes travelling from the one to the other. "Connie, today's the day you only have one course, right?"
"Yep, so I think I'll stay and relax a bit before having to watch Nanaba's History lesson, so that means that I'm the one cooking today."
"Aww, lucky you, I won't be home until late evening and then I'm going out with the girls, you know, finally a ladies' night!" Sasha says and winks at them as she takes a book out of her college bag. "Besides, Krista and Ymir are here for a visit so it's a chance to see her."
"Have fun and tell us if Ymir has learned how to smile at anyone else beside Krista." Jean comments and the three of them chuckle at the memory of their former classmate, who was always brooding, complaining and cynical. "What's that book about, Sash?"
"Oh, it's for Hanji's subject, about legends with monsters and stuff," she explains and her whole face lightens up at the mention of her favorite course. "It's said that billions of years ago the whole world was occupied by humanoid giants, the Titans, who destroyed everything. Hanji started talking to us about them a week ago and she's totally obsessed by them, she wants us to make a research about their similarities and differences from humans."
"Brrr, imagine that, a world filled with giant and probably man-eating creatures." Connie says shuddering. "Are you studying Mythology and Folklore or How-To-Write-The-Best-Thriller-Ever?" he goes on and both Jean and Sasha laugh loudly, but the carefree conversation is interrupted when the former takes a look at his watch.
"Gotta go, guys, have a full day at college today and I'm also working at the radio station."
"Oh, right, sorry I'll miss it."
"It's okay, Sasha, have fun with the girls, tell them I say hi."
"Sure! We'll make sure to leave food for you when you return from the station."
"You two are the best!"
"It's so nice to have you two back here!" Sasha says to the two newcomers at the Garrison's Red Rose bar as they sip their drinks and she hugs Krista, who sits right next to her; she's missed the blonde, who's become known as 'the group's goddess' by the boys.
"Yeah, we won't have lessons tomorrow and Monday, so it was a chance to escape this hellhole and come back to the old familiar grounds for a trip." Ymir explains with her trademark frown, making everyone giggle and Krista roll her eyes; it's common knowledge that Ymir hates the crowded city of Sina and only goes to college there to be close to Krista. "So how are you guys doing, anything interesting? Any juicy news?"
"Nah, college, work, getting together, you know…nothing new."
"Actually, there is!" Mina contradicts Mikasa's statement, making Ymir choke on her drink, Sasha look at her surprised and Hannah leave a happy squeal.
"Don't tell me that Thomas finally—"
"Yes, he asked me out yesterday," the black-haired young woman answers with a bright smile that almost reaches her ears and she receives a pat on the back by Mikasa and a hug from Sasha while Krista claps in her hands.
"Oh my God, that's awesome, finally!"
"You guys will be so cute together, we expect details on how your date went!"
"Hannah, maybe she wants to keep it private, not everyone's like you and Franz, you two were snogging publicly from the first second you got together."
"Krista's right, sorry, Minnie."
Such news, of course, provide lots of material for gossip and conversation, since their large group of friends lasts since their high school days and hasn't even been affected by some of them moving to other cities for their studies. The girls soon start talking about the guys—they don't mention Marco, his absence still makes the faded scar from that dramatic school year hurt. They cover all the others, though: how Eren will be a marvelous police man since he always was passionate about everything concerning justice, how Armin is made for the teaching job, how Connie's choice to study Ethics of Science suits him and how Jean's doing at the radio station.
"Seriously, though, I'm surprised he's still working there…well, I guess he sounds better through the radio than he does in person when we have to see his horseface." Ymir scoffs; Krista throws her a scolding gaze and Sasha glances furiously at her.
"Hey, shut up, he's really good at that, you should actually listen to him sometime!" she says and folds her arms in front of her chest, Mikasa and Mina nodding in agreement. "And he's not a horseface, you just call him that because you don't like him and because you laughed like crazy when Eren used that term for the first time!"
"Aww, don't feel bad, Sash, Ymir's just being Ymir in her usual annoying and hurtful way." Krista comforts her, giving her roommate another scolding look when it becomes clear that the other woman has no intention to apologize.
"Of course, Potato Girl, what else would you say, you guys have each other's backs since you became buddies in sophomore year, I almost miss the times when you were at each other's throats 24/7!"
"Ymir!"
"Not to mention that you're my freaking heroine, girl, living together with the jerk and the idiot, how you managed to last longer than a week with these two is a miracle!"
"Oh, God," Krista sighs and hides her head on Hannah's shoulder, "please don't tell anyone that I'm best friends with her."
"I'm afraid even an idiot will get that if he sees you two together." Mina replies and giggles, seeing Sasha ready to explode like every time someone insults her boys.
"Maybe you wouldn't last long with them, Ymir, because Jean would throw you out of our apartment within the first week and I can't say I'd blame him!"
"HA, take that!"
"Outsmarted by the Potato Girl and Krista taking her side…how is this my life again?"
When Sasha comes home it's three in the morning and she has an early lesson at college tomorrow, plus shift at the patisserie she's working at afterwards. She'll probably fall asleep on her books but it was worth it, it was great to have some fun with the rest of the girls and it reminded her of the sleepovers they had at high school.
The comfortable silence of her apartment welcomes her once she enters and she feels the familiar warmth spreading through her because this place she shares with the other two is more than three college students living together only because they can't afford an apartment of their own; this is truly home and it was from the very first day they moved, with her and Connie jokingly arguing about who would have which bedroom and with Jean calling dibs on cooking their very first meal here.
Even the sight that greets her right now, Jean sleeping while still sitting on the couch, head thrown backwards and an open book on his lap, only adds to this content feeling and Sasha leaves a chuckle and fondly shakes her head as she approaches him. Trying to be as quiet as possible, she carefully takes the book and places it on the table in front of the couch before gently shaking his shoulder; he slowly opens his eyes at the gesture and looks at her with such a sleepy and tired gaze that she almost feels bad for waking him up.
"Hey…" she smiles softly at him, whispering to not disturb him further and to not wake up Connie. "You're exhausted, you fell asleep here…Come on, go to bed to sleep."
"Mhm…" he mumbles, looking like a little boy who doesn't want to be woken up for school, so small and sensitive and almost fragile; the only reaction to her advice is a nod, only to move his head to the other side and doze off again.
Sasha seriously wants to take a picture of him, but she doesn't have the heart to do so, not with Jean looking like that. When in public, Jean abandons the carefree behavior he has in this apartment, where he teases her and Connie, and displays a tough expression; now, though, his features are completely softened, looking like a teenager and not like a college student and the sight makes her melt with affection for him.
Deciding that he needs the rest, she arranges the pillows and helps him lie down before covering him with a blanket that lies on the nearest armchair. She smiles tenderly, worried for his schedule at the radio station and how it wears him out, but just as she wants to stand up and leave him to rest, he gently grabs her hand and keeps her in place. His amber eyes are still closed and when he speaks his voice is so hoarse that it can be misinterpreted as sleep-talking, but it's as if he needs to let it out, as if Sasha taking care of him has given him the courage to say something really important to him.
"'m sorry…'m such a failure," he utters and Sasha gasps, her smile disappearing and being replaced by an almost terrified expression, does he still see himself like that? "Not…good enough, never good enough…"
God damn it, Jean, stop this already! Sasha thinks and forces herself not to tear up, for one moment returning to the winter semester of junior year because she hasn't seen this vulnerability of Jean's since then, since that horrible day when everyone received the grim reminder that everything can change, that many times nothing is at it seems. There've been moments of rage after that day, moments of bursting out...everything was so much better after they moved in together and she and Connie had hoped that Jean had left the worst behind. This I'm-not-good-enough statement, though, has it roots back then, back when they didn't only lose one friend, but four.
The news of that mobbing at one of the city's cafeterias.
The news of those responsible being found.
And what hurt you the most, Jean? Marco dying, even if he died like a hero, defending the little girl standing next to him…or the fact that Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie were members of the gang that killed him and were there that day without doing anything to save him?
"Shhh…" Sasha says now and runs a hand through his hair in a loving movement that brings comfort to her half-asleep friend and a bittersweet feeling to her, although she suppresses it for his sake. "You'll never be a failure to us, Jean, you hear? You're not a failure, full stop."
Jean's probably lost in his sleepy thoughts right now and is probably not even processing the words that invade his fogged mind, but the way his fingers curl around hers speak loud enough for her, it's as if he's thanking her for being there for him. Now the bittersweet sensation fills the room and Sasha has the sudden urge to stay here the whole night with him, to cuddle in his embrace and lose herself in the feeling of his arms around her. But she can't do that, not without appearing as some pining schoolgirl, not without risking the content life the three of them have built in here.
You'll never be a failure to me…and I'll never be something more than a funny friend and roommate to you.
But as long as you're okay, as long as the three of us are okay, I can live with that.
"That's it," she whispers now, seeing him falling back asleep and placing a soft kiss on his cheek; the smallest expression of affection she can muster. "Get some rest. Relax. It's all okay."
If someone asked Jean how on earth he manages to share an apartment with two masses of energy and hope, he'd laugh and say that it's one of the best things that have ever happened in his life. The one may be a cheerful goofball and the other may be funny and encouraging and persistent in her own unique way, but when he wakes up that morning and sees them eating breakfast in the kitchen and teasing each other, he feels content and lucky to have these two in his life. At first he's confused and wondering why on earth he woke up on the couch and with a blanket covering him, but then he remembers how tired he was after his busy day and how he collapsed right when he came home. He feels an odd relaxation today, like a burden lifted from him, as if he heard something he longed to hear for a long time, but he simply can't remember. And so, after washing his face and changing, he simply walks to the kitchen for their everyday routine.
Seeing Sasha and Connie already there makes him stop in his tracks and he spends some moments at the kitchen door, observing the scene in front of him with an amused smile he never shows to anyone else. Connie has said something and Sasha, who's fumbling with eggs and bacon, obviously on cooking duty today, has burst in fits of hysterical laughter, the sound ringing all around and sending pleasant shivers down Jean's spine as he realizes how lovely she looks like that, so cheerful, as if nothing's bothering her.
"So, what are we laughing about, guys?" he wants to know and approaches them, filling a cup with his much needed coffee.
"Oh, I was just telling Sasha about that prank she pulled on you on April Fool's Day in our last year in high school, you remember? When she took your sandwich from her bag and you chased her all around the schoolyard because you thought she had eaten it—"
"—and then the little mischievous minx here put my sandwich back in my bag during the break and I didn't hear the end of Eren's yelling for 'suspecting my classmates with the first chance'; of course I remember."
"Hey, I'd never be so cruel to eat someone else's food."
"Oh, really, that's why you ate Daz's toast that one time?"
"Not my fault, he was making fun of me," Sasha pouts playfully while picking up her bag to leave for college and now Jean can't take his eyes away from her, like he's magnetized by how sweet she looks like that; it's those little details he notices on her that make her so special to him.
Whenever Sasha leaves first in the mornings, she always greets both him and Connie with a tight hug, so the embrace she gives Jean right now isn't really a surprise itself. What does surprise him, though, is how she hugs him; tighter than ever, with a comforting hint and something desperate, as if she's trying to pass him a message or as if she's clinging to him for some reason. Jean wants to ask her if everything's okay, but the hug doesn't allow him to, the way his arms are around her waist to keep her steady; and at the same time he feels just like he felt when he woke up: oddly relaxed, like something has been finally fixed. He blushes when she kisses him on the cheek, gently, a light touch, and his eyes don't leave her as she heads to the door—in fact, he's so absorbed by her sight that he almost misses Connie mumbling "Just get married already, you fools." The journalism student turns towards him so abruptly that he has to rub the back of his neck afterwards, although he hides it and gives his buddy his best death glare.
"Where the freaking hell did that come from?"
"Let's see, from the way you look at her when she's not looking, from the way she looks at you when you're not looking, from how you hug, from the way you always support each other, from how I found you asleep on the couch covered with a blanket I definitely didn't cover you with, which means that Sash is behind it…oh, and let's not forget the goddamn tension that's evident in every room when you two are in the same place and which drives me mental!"
"Wait, what?!" Jean gasps at the last sentence, his blush now making his face resembling a tomato because there's no way that the feeling's mutual, nope, Connie's just imagining things; Sasha can't have feelings for someone with such a messed up past, for someone who musters stubbornness and an expressionless mask to hide his true emotions.
"Don't 'wait, what' me, Jean, you know it's true, so do us all a favor and talk to her so we can all move on, got it?"
Talking to Sasha was never an option for Jean, from the moment he had started feeling something deeper for her. Hell, he can't even decide when those feelings started; it happened quietly, with no earth-shattering realizations, nor did he wake up one morning with the conclusion that the Potato Girl meant so much more for him than a friend. He only knows that she is special to him and it seems that, even if he doesn't want to talk to her, there are other ways to make his point clear, ways he can't control and ways he can't hide behind a façade.
And when Sasha comes to him one late evening while he's preparing his backpack to go to the radio station, carrying a small package that contains an omelet she made based on his mom's recipe, the loving gesture makes him feel so warm that he unintentionally brushes his fingers against hers as she hands it to him. They both look at each other with wide eyes, both feeling the electricity the subtle touch transfers, seeing and sensing everything clearer than ever and now even the distance between them has its own energy…and Jean wonders, is that the reason Connie's so sure that what he feels is reciprocated?
Sasha doesn't talk either, she doesn't ask him what this means and doesn't dismiss it as a mistaken gesture between two buddies; she's too clever for that and, despite her always existing cheerfulness, she never was one for rhetorical and naïve questions. Right now Jean feels that words are unnecessary, that they will destroy everything, for she looks at him seriously and determined at the same time, with a hint of insecurity and a faint spark in her eyes, a spark that appears whenever she does something she likes.
A strand of chestnut brown hair is falling from her ponytail and Jean tucks it behind her ear with a slow movement that brings a small sigh from her; Sasha closes her eyes as if savoring that moment and the only thing Jean wants right now is to send his schedule and his shift at the station to hell and stay here with her. But this isn't some sappy romance novel for teenage girls, this is the reality and questions and confessions have no sense right now, it's like everything's said with a few gestures; and there are still insecurities and fears for both of them, it's not full of pink little clouds and rainbows and all that nonsense.
"Jean…"
"Shhh, not now," he whispers, unable to speak in normal volumes as he removes his hand from her face, slightly caressing her cheek—and this time it is totally intentional. "Take your time, don't say anything right now…It's all fine, Sasha, it's all fine…I can wait."
She nods and Jean knows her so well that he can guess the meaning of this nod; she thanks him for understanding and she's assuring him that he's right and that everything is fine. Jean's still facing a turmoil, his weaknesses not allowing him to fully enjoy this, his mind shouting at him to leave Sasha alone because she deserves so much more than him. Still, he forces his logic to shut up for now, leans towards her and places a very tender and brief kiss to the corner of her mouth, evoking another sigh from her; not a full kiss, since he doesn't want to pressure her, but a kiss that can't be mistaken as friendly.
Minutes after Jean's left, Sasha's still standing where she stood, thinking about everything that's transpired and a part of her scolding her for not telling him to stay, for not kissing him senseless and admitting what she feels. Just as she's ready to take her phone and start listening to Jean's radio program, Connie exits him room, his own backpack over his shoulder and a sly grin on his face. "Okay, so, I'm leaving too, Sash, I'll crash at Samuel's for tonight…you know, to give you guys space," he explains and winks at her, bursting in loud laughter when Sasha throws a cushion at him, having found her usual fire again.
"Connie Springer, you're a pervert and ridiculous and an idiot, you know that?"
"Says the girl who's in love with freaking Horseface of all people."
"He's not a horseface, you're just jealous!"
"Oh, my wounded pride, Sasha, don't you have mercy on your poor buddy?"
"Nah, don't worry, your pride is so big it can't get wounded!"
"Everything okay here?" Jean asks Marlowe, whose radio program has just finished, the other man getting ready to depart and leave the many listeners of Wings Radio to him. Wings, a suitable name for a radio station, he thinks now, creates images of freedom and well, our radio informs and entertains the listeners, travelling them to other worlds.
"Yep, everything great."
"You sure?" Jean eyes his colleague and friend carefully, who has something deeply melancholic in his expression; he can see that because Marlowe has a similar way of thinking as he has.
"Well…I spoke with Hitch today…and once again it was like the chasm between us has grown even bigger." Marlowe says sullenly in the end and Jean smiles sympathetically at him, having being entrusted with how much Marlowe suffers because of his long-time crush's absence in Sina. "Goddammit, Jean, why am I still trying, it's as if I like torturing myself or something! It's obvious that Hitch is made for Sina and the life there, she's not like Krista, who went there because her dad forced her, or like Ymir, who moved to be close to Krista…Hitch had always dreamed of that damn city!"
"So did we," Jean comments and his expression darkens; it's true, Sina was a dream for him, as a kid he longed to leave his boring hometown and go there; it was Marco's death that changed him, that made him want to stay.
"Yeah, we did. And we are here and Hitch is there, has a whole bunch of new friends whose only concern is which spoon to use for their morning coffee and obviously doesn't give a damn about Marlowe and his stupid mundane feelings!"
"Then why don't you go to her, man? Hitch always said she wanted to go to Sina because there's nothing keeping her here." Jean suggests and Marlowe looks at him as if he's crazy—which he probably is, but his previous encounter with Sasha has made him unexpectedly open-minded towards the whole confessing-your-emotions-to-the-love-of-your-life story. "It's up to you to show her that she does have a reason to come back here, even if it's only for visits until she finishes her studies."
"Go there, yeah, right, so she can rub her wealthy friends and her carefree life in my face?"
"Hey, only one way to find out, right? Take the risk. Or think about it at least."
"Yeah…Guess I will. Anyway, night, Jean, have fun here…tell Sasha and Connie I say hi."
"Sure!"
Jean loves the radio. No, seriously, he starts considering it as a permanent job after he gets his degree. With the music he plays as a company, with the words he says in between—not only information about the songs, but also their meaning, the feelings behind it or talking about various matters, since it's night and night allows deep thoughts like that. While Wiz Khalifa's See you again plays through the speakers, Jean takes off his headphones for a while and gets lost in his thoughts—until his phone vibrating next to him and a look at the caller's ID makes him almost choke on his water.
"Sash?" he says carefully after accepting the call. Sasha often calls him at the station to tell him that he 'rocks' or to ask for a song she wants to hear, but after what happened earlier he doesn't know what to expect.
"Jean? Can you play our song, please?"
And now everything is clear, there's nothing awkward anymore, no more What-if's because Sasha's words hold so many meanings that Jean feels that urge again, to get the hell out of here and go to her and wrap her in his arms. Of course he knows which song she's talking about, it's a song that's been following the two of them since their high school days; they had sung it during karaoke nights, they had sung it during trips and they had even danced to it, a pathetic and yet really amusing attempt at slow-dancing, since both of them literally felt sick at those 'cheesy and utterly sweet to the point of puking' songs they heard at school parties as Jean always said.
But it's not only the fact that Sasha asked him to play it tonight of all nights, but it's also the fact that it's the first time she calls it their song, telling him in her own way that it's special to them, that she's connected it with him and only with him…and so, without any I-love-you's necessary, she's given him her answer and for a second Jean doesn't know how to reply.
"Are you sure?" Nope, no way, anything but this question, it'll destroy everything.
"Isn't it too quickly for you to decide?" Oh, hell no, Kirstein, you only told her you're not pushing her, but if you insist on her taking time it will be as if you're pushing her away!
"Stay tuned," he says in the end, playfully and mysteriously and with a smirk and, although he can't see her, he can imagine her rolling her eyes. In the end, though, she only leaves a small, happy laughter, deciding to wait for him to continue as the call between them ends and Jean brings the microphone close to him again, knowing exactly what to say and how to proceed.
"Words are strange, aren't they? People say they're the most important and most common way to openly express your thoughts to someone else, but, in the end, who on earth decided that? We all know that words aren't the only way to relay a message…images, music, the songs you ask me to play for you, dedicated to a special someone maybe…hell, even gestures and thoughts can make a point if the other knows you well. We have to figure out which way suits us best, to our character and to the one we want to talk to…when someone chooses words, others can choose songs and the result can be the same."
"Anyway, that's the case with the song you're about to hear. Some of you may like it, some of you don't want to hear it—after all, it's all a matter of personal taste. To most of you is just another song of today's program…to some of you it brings back certain memories, pleasant ones if I may say so myself," Jean jokes and he can imagine his friends who're listening laughing as well, "and, well, to two specific people it's part of their lives, a special one too."
He leaves a small sigh and leans back on his chair, closing his eyes and allowing himself to travel back to his own memories; memories of singing and dancing—seriously, only he and Sasha could freaking slow dance to the beat of that song, even if it was just for fun—as the tones and lyrics of I'd come for you fill the room he's sitting at…Sasha's bedroom, making her smile radiantly…Marlowe's headphones as he makes his decision.
When Jean closes the door behind him, reading the message Connie has just sent him and which makes him blush like crazy—"Sleeping over at Samuel's, have fun you two, if you ever hurt her I'll hit you with my baseball bat"—he's greeted by silence and at first he feels the familiar fear crushing him, unable to interpret this silence. But when he approaches Sasha's bedroom door, led by the soft glow of her lamp, and sees her sitting cross-legged on her bed with a book in front of her, taking notes with a concentrated expression the content he always feels comes back. Judging from the way his Potato Girl jolts her head up, she's realized he's watching her, but she doesn't turn towards him, waiting for him to start, giving him the time he needs to put his thoughts in order.
"Our song, eh?" he says in the end, his voice without the teasing he'd normally use; now it only has happiness and hope and tenderness that surprises even himself; in the end, he's still capable of having positive emotions.
"It always was ours, wasn't it? I've connected it with specific memories, all of them with you, so I thought…it'd be a good way to express what I want to tell you without sounding unrealistic or cheesy." Sasha replies, her voice matching his, quiet and reassuring and giving him so much joy that he enters the room and sits in front of her, in a very small distance so they can feel each other's breaths on their faces. But even this small distance is a torture and so he lifts his hands, one of them ending in her hair and the other one cupping her cheek as he locks his gaze in hers; she's not smiling, she knows this is a serious conversation, but the her eyes look at him, with that determination and yet gentleness petrify him and he can't even move—not that this is his intention anyway.
"Best way you could think of. It's just that…I know I'm not good enough for you, Sasha. No, stop," he prevents her from disagreeing without raising his voice, not wanting to ruin the aura between them, "I know it, okay? I'm not good with words, I could hurt you unintentionally with them, I'm full of insecurities and I'm constantly afraid that I'll say something wrong…"
"Well what should I say then? I'm only the goofy and cheerful Potato Girl that's only good to make others laugh, underestimated even by some of her friends and considered too foolish to think seriously about anything, why the hell would you end up with me?"
"Because you're so much more than all this, Sasha, and of course you're smart and honest and with such a sharp mind that you can find a way through the most serious matters….Everyone has their flaws, but they're what make you who you are and I wouldn't change anything."
"Hey, you stole my line, you just got your answer too."
Jean's eyes widen at the sound of these words and now he can't handle it, their conversation before he left, her asking for this song, their song, their mutual assurance that they wouldn't change each other because there's nothing to change. Now he's here with her, with the air around them thickening due to emotions suppressed for too long and with Sasha staring at him with a fiery glare and a determined expression, he leaves words aside and chooses to express what he wants to say by actions; after all, it was always his motto, that actions speak louder than words in all circumstances. The kiss between them starts slow and gentle, both of them taking their time, realizing that this is truly happening as everything else fades away. It's more fulfilling than any other encounter Jean's had before, it's not only the love behind the action, it's everything they've lived, how good it feels to be with her right now, to have her in his life.
He has no problem to stay with Sasha like that for the rest of the night and his thumb draws invisible patterns on her cheek; but when they briefly pull back for air and he sees that Sasha's look has changed, having also something urgent and wild, he can't take it anymore and wraps his arms around her waist as she locks her own behind his neck. Now their kiss turns firmer, passionate and sends shivers down his spine; it's their way to tell each other that letting go isn't an option now, that they've been waiting for too long.
"Don't think." Sasha mumbles as he hides his head in the crook of her neck, placing soft, light kisses there. "Just for once, don't think about the consequences."
Because it's what she wants and what he needs.
Usually waking up is the worst part of the day for Jean, especially when it's early in the morning and he has a busy day ahead. When he opens his eyes the next morning, though, it's the first time in a long time it's not difficult for him, quite the contrary, he feels as relaxed as he hasn't felt in years. It's silent all around him once more, the early sun shining through the curtains and falling on them; instead of cursing and needing several moments to fully get out of his sleepiness like he does every morning, Jean smiles and focuses on Sasha's calm breathing as she sleeps beside him, his arm hugging her tightly, keeping her close to him.
Forgetting his fears, not thinking about the consequences, not thinking about anything, proved to be way easier than he had thought last night, lost in their kisses and the sweet words he whispered in her ear and the way she said his name. Even now, with the intensity of the night faded away, his thoughts are stubbornly blocked because there's no way he'll make the mistake to start wondering about the future and what's gonna happen from now on...right now he's willing to embrace the present and everything it brings—in fact, he doesn't even want to start thinking about reality now.
With a calm movement he brushes Sasha's hair back and places a loving kiss on the back of her neck just as she wakes up and slowly turns towards him to cuddle in his arms, looking at him with those big eyes of hers that make him forget the cold demeanor he displays when with others. He laces his fingers with hers and strokes them without breaking the eye contact, while Sasha leans forward and initiates a kiss without yesterday's fire; this kiss is sweet, warm and its meaning can't be misinterpreted.
It's a choice with no regrets for both of them.
If someone asked Connie how on earth he manages to share an apartment with two love-struck idiots, he'd laugh and say that it's one of the best things that have ever happened in his life. The one may be stubborn and pretending to be emotionless although he hides a big softie in him and the other may be funny and encouraging and persistent in her own unique way, but when he returns from Samuel's that morning and sees them eating breakfast in the kitchen, he feels content and lucky to have these two in his life. It's obvious that they've finally taken that step: he can see it in the way they look at each other, now without secret glances, and in the way they let their hands brush as Sasha hands Jean a mug of coffee and in the kiss he gives her on the temple before sitting down.
"Soooo, was I right or was I right?" he teases them while approaching them, laughing when Jean facepalms and Sasha hides her head between her arms to stop him from seeing the blush that's painting her cheeks. Connie's genuinely happy for both of them, not to mention that now he has even more reasons and opportunities to joke and mess up with them; a mischievous grin appears on his face even at the thought of that.
For now, though, he decides to leave these two in peace. It's the first day, after all, and they both deserve it.
A/N: My Muse is either drunk or has a twisted sense of humor, I swear, because not only do I have ideas for two more JeanSasha one-shots, but I also got the idea for a sequel to this one, about Marlowe and Hitch! Tell me what you'd like to read, guys, and you shall have it ;)