Title; We can't take McKay anywhere.
Author: Blaze S. Deverox
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: (General)
Rating: FRT.
Summary: The title says it all.
Warning: Be sure not to be eating or drinking when reading this.
Disclaimer. Does not belong to me. No money made in this

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Elisabeth Weir waited in the Gateroom for Shepherd and his team to return. Teyla's message was short and tense. Elisabeth's first thought was that someone had been hurt. But Teyla assured her that, that was not so. Just warned her not to be too shocked at what she saw.

The Gate opened and Shepherd and his team all walked thaw, no one was limping or bleeding. Strangely everyone had a grin on their faces. Rodney walked up to Elisabeth arms wide open and hugged her. Then as if the hug was not strange enough he kissed her deeply and completely wile grouping her ass.

"Damn, Liz you have a hot ass." Rodney said after he released her. "Let me fuck over my minions first and I'll nail you to the mattress."

Rodney then bore down on Radek Zelenka. "Radek, you little Hobbit, come here and give Daddy some sugar. Don't worry I'll save some cock for you. Tell me what happened while I was gone. That shit head Kavanagh cause you any trouble? You know Miko deserves a reward for dealing with that fucker. I think I might let her give me a blow job that will make her happy. Hay, Cadman nice tits. You got to let me play with them some time. I'll ask Carson if he wants a threesome. "

Shepherd walked over to Rodney and putting his hands on the other man's arm." Rodney why don't you go asks Carson about that now. I'll give Elisabeth our report on the mission. "

"Sure thing Johnny." Rodney garbed Shepherd by the back of the head and kissed him just as deeply as he had done Elisabeth. As Rodney left he had one hand on Zelenka's ass and used the other one to group anyone who got too close.

Elisabeth gave John her (Just what the Hell happened and what are we going to have to give away to take care of it look.)
Once in her office Elisabeth sat down, took a deep breath. " OK what's the damage?"

"No damage this time Elisabeth. "John said in his slow drawl.

"Yes, in fact Rodney was the one who insured the trade agreement." Teyla spoke in her calming voice.

"Pray tell, how?"

They all looked at each other than Teyla stepped up to it. "The Epat believe that each person should from time to time let go of all their inhibitions. They have a drink that allows this; they use it in a religious ceremony that Rodney took part in. The drink all so makes the person very, happy." Teyla stumbled over the last word, as if she wanted to say something else but could not bring herself to do so.

"It makes them horny." Ronon said, smirk firmly on his face. "McKay didn't stop screwing people till Shepherd pulled him away so we could return. On the way to the Gate he tried to pull Teyla in to the bushes for a quickie."

"Yes well the Epat were very pleased with the way Rodney respond, they believe that the more a person response to the drink the Holier they are. "

"They think McKay is some sort of Holy Man now." Shepherd said shaking his head. "They are even building a shrine to him."

Elisabeth laid her head on her desk to collect her thoughts, and try not to giggle like a man woman. Raising her head. "How long do the effects of this drink last?"

Once more Teyla took up the reins. "The High Priest assures me only a few days. But he did say that the stronger the response the longer the effects."

"So for the next few days my chief scientist is going to trying to have sex with everyone he comes in compact with?"

"Pretty much. " John said. " But Rodney is picky; he'll only chase the people he likes. But look on the bright side now everyone will know how Rodney feels about them. If he screws them over it means he likes them. "

All Elisabeth could do was close her eyes and count to ten in every language she knew. When the radio beeped. "Weir here."

"Elisabeth, its Carson. We have a problem."

"Rodney's going to be finding right?"

"Right as rain once the drug in his system wears off. "

"So what's the problem?"

"Well Rodney left the infirmary wile my back was turned. I can't find him anywhere. "

"So he'll turn up."

"Well Rodney all so did not have a stitch of clothing on when he left. There is a very necked and aroused Rodney McKay wandering Atlantis at the moment."

Elisabeth wonders if Gen. O'Neil ever had days like this.