Decisions
by Impervious Marr
Summary: Time was immaterial, in this place. All he could see was red, all he could hear were screams. In the end, it really boiled down to only one thing - the right choice. Mentions of blood and graphic violence, emotional torture.
Warnings: No pairings. Torture, a lot of violence, and blood. Crying and screaming, etc o.o
A/N: This is a monster. Yeesh, lol. My fingers hurt. I finished it a few minutes ago :0
I really, really have got to stop with the whole insanity thing. xD
Read and review, please! Enjoy the piece! :D Written while I was bored and crazy! :D
rule eight: the human who uses this note will be able to enter neither heaven nor hell
Light stared into the darkness, blinking. He was supposed to be dead.
Supposed to be groveling in the ground for his own life, begging the fools that what they were doing was wrong. Killing him. They couldn't see the glory of his work; scaring mere humans into submission and driving them to do good. They didn't understand.
Too blinded by their own sense of righteousness. I am right, I am Kira, I am god. How dare they.
Still; he lifted his head up proudly, looking around. He could see himself, but all around was pure black - even the ground he was standing on, and it served nothing more than to unnerve him.
"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised."
The light, airy voice startled him from his thoughts, and he whirled around.
There, when nobody else was here, when he alone was facing him,Light could afford the slightest bit of distaste to seep in his expression. The shock and surprise was the one he hid.
"You."
"Yes, me." Lawliet walked up to him in that infuriating, horrible pose and that lazy walk, dressed shabbily and immaculately in his long-sleeved shirt and baggy jeans, hair unkempt - messy - and his eyes boring into him, twin bottomless wells of intelligence coloured with the darkest of blacks.
He smiled.
"Light-kun. So nice to see you again."
"Likewise."
The one word was a blatant lie. He hated the man who could outsmart him,Light Yagami, in a battle of wits.
"Time is immaterial, in this place," L started, and the explanation made no sense to Light, who merely cocked an eyebrow in silent questioning.
When L didn't say anything more, he felt his temper flare. "What place?"
There was a slight change of the light in L's eyes. It was strange since there was no visible light source he could see.
"This place, Light-kun. You're smart, you figure it out."
Light stared at him blankly, before pursing his lips, eyes narrowed, remembering rule VII. "Human users of the Death Note can neither go to heaven nor hell." He looked around, with a little bit of amusement and a whole lot of apprehension and wariness. "This is it?"
"Yes, Light-kun." L tilted his head before giving an indulgent smile that made Light want to knock it off his perfect white teeth. "This is it. We'llstart with the very basics."
"Start, L?"
"Of course."
Suddenly the air shifted, and there was an immediate burst of light that made Light shield his eyes, wincing at the intensity. So bright. It lasted for only a second before he was back in that realm earlier, with one exception - there were now two people in front of him instead of his arch nemesis.
A woman and a man.
Both looked to be the same age, and they stared at Light blankly, who returned the confused expression. Before he could ask, though, L's voice whispered lightly near his ear, causing him to jerk away from the unexpected sound.
"It's very simple, Light."
"L, where are you?"
"I'm here, of course. But getting back to the subject at hand - you just need to do one thing." His voice floated to Light's other ear. "Choose."
"Choose?" Light asked, with a light confusion slipping into his voice. His eyes strayed to the two persons opposite him. "Between these two?"
When L didn't respond, he took it as a yes.
"The woman."
Spoken without hesitation and with the confidence only Light Yagami would have. L chuckled in amusement, when the man suddenly screamed in terror and clutched at his chest, eyes widening in pain and fear. Light recognized it as a heart attack. He watched emotionlessly as the man collapsed and the woman screamed, as if she suddenly realized where she was.
And then time stopped. WIth the scene frozen in front of Light, L spoke.
"Ah. As expected, of course, Light-kun. Now, we shall move on."
The same burst of light as of earlier, and the two figures disappeared. Light grimaced.
"So I have to do this until...?"
"Until you should stop," was L's cryptic answer, and Light scoffed.
"This is ridiculous."
"Ah, ah, Light. You can't go anywhere. Now choose."
The young woman from earlier was back. Beside her, though, was another female - old and wizened, shaking on her walking stick.
"An old woman and a young, healthy one. You almost insult me, L. The old woman, of course."
The adult female screamed - same reaction as the man earlier - and dropped to the ground, eyes rolling to the back of her head as she lay lifeless - dead.
"Again, as expected. Like I said, Light-kun, it's all so very simple."
Another burst of light. There was a young boy, with an expression that showed he was scared to the bone while the old woman was standing beside him, traumatized."The young boy."
The old woman shrieked like a banshee and the boy wept, covering his ears at the sound.
A young boy and a sickly female.
"The girl."
"Ah, really..." L's voice commented, when the boy dropped down, begging for his life as Light stared at him. The girl started to cry, and the scene froze again. "Interesting. Wouldn't it be more practical if the boy lived instead of the girl?"
Light didn't respond.
A poor man and a rich man.
"The poor man."
"But he wouldn't survive for very long."
"He deserves it," Light said firmly, looking to the side when L's light chuckles could be heard.
A healthy young man and a frail young woman, who coughed pathetically and looked as if she was starved to the bone. Before Light could pick his choice, though, L spoke first.
"The -"
"The girl murdered her parents."
"- man."
As the girl succumbed to the attack, Light breathed slightly heavier, eyes widening the slightest bit. He hesitated.
"Still with your beliefs, Light-kun. Very good."
The time he took to choose lengthened each and everytime a new choice was presented.
"These two are twins. One can't live without the other, of course."
"The younger twin."
A doctor who saved people's lives by using illegal methods and a boy who murdered people just to survive a little bit longer.
"Getting harder and harder, Light-kun, isn't it?"
Light looked up to both of them, before his eyes hardened.
"Shut up. The doctor."
"Hmm," L hummed thoughtfully and tunelessly, as the boy screamed for mercy, clutching to Light's leg. "Very interesting, indeed."
The deaths were not heart attacks, now. They were more gruesome. L explained that but Light hadn't seen such a more distrubing sight.
This is wrong. This is all, so wrong.
But this is it, Light-kun.
It made him sick to his stomach, but so far he hadn't retched yet.
"The one you choose will be spared from being torn apart limb from limb," L said this time, and there was a boy and a girl there, holding each other together, scared and crying.
"The girl."
As the blood sprayed onto his perfect face, the girl crying shamelessly and the boy screaming as he was torn, Light could feel a crack near the surface.
"Can we take a break?"
"No. That would defeat the whole purpose, of course."
"L."
"Yes, Light-kun?"
"I hate you."
"So the 'likewise' when I said nice to meet you was a blatant lie after all. Thank you, Light-kun, for disclosing your feelings."
"Damn you!"
L was looking at him from a few steps away. He appeared earlier after the - the - he couldn't keep track of the number of events, but it was a gruesome sight, with all the blood spread everywhere in that one little frozen moment in time, with the fingers of the girl he had forsaken just inches away from Light's shoes - and smiled.
"You say that as if I actually care."
Light couldn't help the punch he threw.
L never interrupted him when he was forced to watch the torture that went by as the blood and limbs flew. The massacre. But apparently, this time was an exception.
L appeared right beside him this time, right before he was to say who he chose. The scene in front of him froze unexpectedly.
"Hello, Light-kun."
Light didn't respond, didn't breathe. Wariness was all that filled him at the moment.
"It'll get a little bit harder."
Light stared at him blankly, before looking to the side. It was pointless to argue, now.
"Very good, Light-kun, now that you're not arguing anymore. I still have bruises from the last time." L pointed to a blank part of the black place, where Light knew that two figures would be standing there in just a minute.
He was wrong, it was the immediate second after his next breath. His eyes widened.
"Light? Light! Is that you? What is this place? Light!"
He wouldn't dare. He wouldn't dare.Light whirled around to face up to L, face contorted into an expression of pure rage. "Leave her out of this!"
Standing right before him was his younger sister, Sayu Yagami. Her expression was scared - no, not scared. She was completely terrified. She looked around the darkness like a lost little mouse, eyes widened and shoulders tense while she tried to comfort herself by rubbing her arms; her heavy breathing giving way to her panic.
"Light!"
"Sayu!" Before he could rush up to her though, he was stopped by an impeneterable wall - invisible; so far yet so close, yet so far and I need to save Sayu, Sayu - Light rounded up to L and caught his collar, shaking him. "Get herout!"
"My, my, Light-kun. This is an interesting development." L seemed unperturbed that Light was close to punching him in the face; instead, he pointed back at Sayu, and sighed, expression emotionless instead of the grin Light was expecting.
"You sick bastard! Let her go!"
"No, no, Light-kun. You do that. Now - choose."
"I choose Sayu!" He snapped, and Sayu screamed. He looked back to see that the victim for this time round was a mere boyThe child was immediately gutted by an invisible force, and Sayu couldn't stop screaming at the horrible sight. Blood was everywhere. Guts strewn everywhere. Butchered. Tortured. The boy shrieked and cried, blood was strewn all over the place and Light slammed his hands against the invisible wall which was only keepinghim away and not the blood from staining his shoes. "Sayu, look away!"
But Sayu couldn't. She couldn't stop screaming and screaming until her voice was hoarse and her tears choked her cries.
"Sayu!"
And the perfect expression of pure terror was frozen on her face as she looked back at Light - unmoving.
The silence overwhelmed Light - deafening.
"As expected, Light-kun... As always."
Light turned to punch beside him, but his fist only connected with air. He breathed in heavily and leaned against the wall, placing his head into his hands as his whole body shook.
At least Sayu's okay. It's all that matters.
He didn't dare to look back at the sight.
It's all that matters.
Sayu disappeared. Light watched as the usual victims appeared.
The change unnerved him. Didn't the man say that it would be a bit more hard? Or did he refer to that one time only?
At least they gave him breaks now.
Light calmed himself down to think rationally - or as rationally as he could. Nothing could ever stop him from choosing his family over anyone else.
L's hunched form appeared in front of him this time.
"The rules are still the same - just choose. But you'll be given as much time as you need to choose - but you need to do it. Alright, Light-kun?" he asked in that fake sugary-sweet tone and Light could only stare blankly - and his eyes were even deader than before. He chose not to respond, and L chose not to question it. The change was neither welcome nor hated. "Now - choose."
Choose what?
There's nothing in front of me.
"I'm not talking about in front of you, Light-kun." L's smile shifted menacingly. "Look behind."
The sudden piercing scream rammed through him like a bullet. Light whirled his head behind to stare in shock. Red painted the cool, black floor. Skin was being torn to shreds. Blood was flowing out of their eyes as if they were crying the crimson liquid. The victims - two frail women, twins - were now being gutted alive right now at the current moment, and not even to death. It was like they were trapped in an endless cycle of torture.
Light almost retched at the sight, and he would have, if he was not a higher man.
"The older one killed her mother. The younger one killed her father," L spoke, as if the sight was completely normal.
Light didn't want this.
"This is sick. Sick and wrong."
The screams in the background threatened to go higher in pitch.
"Ah, but your senseless killings were sick and wrong too. Choose, Light-kun. You have as much time as you need."
But that would mean they'll be in eternal pain.
Answering Light's unasked question, L nodded, before smiling and disappearing. The screams tore through him.
AHHHHHH!
"The younger one."
NO! NOT MY SISTER! NOT MY SISTER!
Light placed his hands over his ears to block away the screams.
L never wanted him to get used to the sights, he realized. Because just as he was about to get into his comfort zone, he was faced with his younger sister again. At least they didn't torture her. The sight would be too hard to stand. As he prepared to say 'Sayu', her sudden words jolted him out of his thoughts.
"L - L - Light..."
Her voice was haunted. It was no longer the upbeat, cheerful Sayu he knew. No, this one was someone who had seen too much in too little time.
Even her eyes were dead.
L slipped behind him again, but this time, he spoke nothing. It unnerved Light.
The second sentence Sayu spoke wasn't much improvement, but it made Light's heart stop a split second before resuming.
"Light..." She repeated again, looking up to him then looking at the floor, before placing her hands in her hair and tugging limply, "Make it - stop..." She looked up to him, face contorted in anguish. "He's still screaming... In my head..."
Light stared at his sister, and he felt the tugging in his gut for him to end her suffering.
This is Sayu. Sayu. You can't let anything happen to her. You're her big brother.
You'll protect her. You have to. You have to.
You have to.
You have to.
"Make it stop... Let me die..."
"Sayu, stop it. I can't. I can't let you die."
"... I can't... He's still - screaming - and the - the - the - blood."
"Sayu," Light started, eyes widening when she collasped on to herself, mumbling sweet nothings like a lost woman whispering to her long lost dead lover.
"They won't stop. They won't stop."
"Sayu. Sayu, look at me. Sayu!"
"They won't..."
Light rounded up on L, absolutely glowering. "Let her go! Leave her out of this!"
"But I can't, Light-kun." The former detective looked at him with an unnaturally serious expression on his face, sombre - as if pitying. Light didn't have the time to indulge in pity. It made him feel belittled.
"What do you mean you can't!? LET HER GO!"
"You're the only one who could, Light-kun. As I said earlier."
But how?
How?
To...
"You can't be saying that -"
"Yes, Light-kun. And they will be torn from limb to limb, as per usual. Choose wisely. If you take too long... Both of them will suffer."
When L disappeared, only then he noticed the new victim beside his crumbling sister, who immediately came up rushing to his youngest daughter.
"Sayu! Why are you crying? Sayu!"
Light stared, unable to comprehend it.
I'm supposed to choose between my father and my sister?
It was absurd. He couldn't do that. No. No, no, no.
"Light, is that you?" His father looked at him confusedly, before turning to Sayu and back again at him. "Get Sayu out of this, I'll be fine!"
"NO!"
The scream stopped them both in their tracks. Sayu sobbed pathetically, almost tearing her hair out.
"Save him. Light. Please. Let me die. I can't take this anymore."
"What - no! Save Sayu!"
"Save tou-san. Don't tear him apart too. Don't tear him apart too. Please, nii-san."
The shouts taunted at him and he stared, still unable to process it.
I...
I can't do this.
Light stared in front of him. The scene was repeated again and again in his mind. He remembered the pure, unadulterated hate that welled up in Sayu's eyes when he made his decision. Sayu needed to be saved. He couldn't bear with the thought of Sayu being tortured like that physically, even if his logic screamed at him that the emotional pain was even more traumatizing. She didn't scream in terror when their father was torn to shreds, only refused to look at the sight and instead gazing at him hatefully.
It tore him apart more than anything did.
My little sister...
L appeared not too soon after.
This isn't heaven, nor hell... So what exactly is it?
"That was quick, Light-kun."
Light didn't want to speak, ever again. He blinded himself as well, so he could face never ending darkness.
It was better than the red.
"Who, this time?" Light asked, now that he was unable to see. L answered his questions for him.
"A mother and her daughter."
And now that he couldn't see, he couldn't look at the blood. But his memories filled him with flashes.
"The daughter."
The screams were close to deafening, though.
His sister refused to talk to him, now.
And his mother was comforting her, looking towards him mournfully to let her soul be saved.
His mother and his sister.
That was a decision he could never make between the two.
Light stared at the invisible L, before sighing tiredly, all the fight leaving him in an instant.
"Just choose."
He tried to remember the conversations they had together, no matter how meaningless. He needed a way out. He couldn't do this to his mother nor his sister.
Never ever ever ever.
Not his family.
Not this.
Not ever.
But wait - wasn't there a time...
"L..." he spoke in a rasp, as if the mere notion of speech tired him. The dark-haired man appeared, looking at him curiously.
"Yes, Light-kun?"
"I have to choose between these two."
There was no answer, and Light almost laughed at himself.
Of course, the solution is all so very simple.
I am so stupid.
So foolish.
He looked at both his family members and sighed tiredly. He motioned towards his mother, who had no idea of what he had done to her husband.
"Kaa-san."
Even his voice felt dead.
"Yes, sweetie? Why do you have your eyes closed?"
She didn't know he blinded himself.
"Please, turn away from me." She looked confused at the request.
"But, why -"
"Please? I love you. And Sayu, and tou-san."
Sayu looked up from her anguishing at last to stare at him. The intensity of the glare did not subside, but she was a bit confused as well.
"Look away, Sayu. Now... L, I've made my decision."
Light turned, facing the absolute blankness of the black, even though he couldn't see it, and his arms hung limply beside him.
"I choose Sayu -"
"NO!"
"- and my mother."
He didn't get to see the horrified look in his younger sister's eyes and his mother's traumatized look as he felt the first few tugs onto his first arm - harsh - before he was ripped apart. The pain overwhelmed him. His skin was ripping apart - literally.
Blood was everywhere.
Red spilled.
And Light drowned in the screams.
He opened his eyes. After being so used to the black, the light blinded him.
"Welcome, Light-kun. I see you've made it."
Light sighed.
"That was a simple decision."
"Yes, but you were unfortunately blind."
"In more ways than one."
"Yes."
"Where are we now?"
"Hmm, someplace, perhaps. This is it, Light-kun. Time is immaterial for all of us in here."
"Ah..."
"But now..."
L's voice was going farther and farther away from him as he slipped into the darkness he needed.
"You can rest."
It's over.
It's all over.
And Light saw a flash of black, before surrendering to the arms of sleep.
A/N: I dunno. o.o Make the ending as you will. D:
Have a nice day!