Disclaimer: Ouran High School Host Club does not belong to me. I think I would have made the title shorter if it did. Anyway, don't sue.

Notes: Whoa, I wrote a Hitachiincest story? I haven't done that in a while.

There's a lot of things people aren't supposed to do in life. Hikaru and I figured that out pretty early. You aren't supposed to lie, steal, hurt people, and a bunch of other pointless things. And Hikaru and I figured out we could do them. We figured out that the only people who could truly punish us for our wrongs were our parents.

And wasn't it convenient that they were always busy?

If a maid even tried, we could easily fire her. After all, we were the ones with money and how dare they tell us what we could or could not do. Haruhi says we're all a bunch of rich bastards, and if you want the truth? We are. No lies about that.

But we were still kids. We still loved our mom and dad, even though they didn't know who was who. Our mom was still our mom, telling us we were perfect and giving us hugs and kisses. Our dad was still our dad, giving us smiles. Mom couldn't always hug us and kiss us, Dad couldn't always give us smiles.

So we gave them to each other.

It's kind of funny if I think about how it began. I wanted Mom home so she could give me a peck on my lips, and Hikaru decides to just do it. I like it, so I decide to be a good brother back and kiss him, too.

Would anybody believe we actually were innocent then? That we had no idea what we really were doing was wrong?

Sure, people told us incest was bad and really, you don't go kissing your brother. But you know, you also weren't supposed to sneak stuff out of places, and we never got in trouble for that. We were also never supposed to make maids cry, but we never got punished for it. We did a lot of things we weren't supposed to do, but got away with it because we were different. So how was us kissing each other, trying to be good brothers and stop the tears, any different? It wasn't. Never to us.

And you know, when we told each other we loved each other, Mom's friends wouldn't turn away in disgust. They'd say it was sweet. And when we would kiss each other's cheeks, they'd still say it was the most heartwarming thing they'd ever seen. Holding hands, claiming we'd marry each other, even kissing each other on the lips only got positive reactions. Even from our mom. She seemed so proud of us because everybody thought we were the most adorable children ever.

I can laugh about it now. They had no idea what kind of ideas they put in our head, and if anybody finds out now, will they ever realize it was not our fault? No, but that's because people are just funny. I love living because of this.

I mean, people always say things like "I never imagined this could happen!" when something bad does happen. Well, it happened before, right? So it can happen. Hikaru laughs at it too. Why do people act like murder doesn't exist? It does. So does rape, abuse, and every other bad thing in the world. Incest exists too. Go onto the internet and just look. You'll find incest porn, girls wondering if their big brother should continue having sex with her, some people writing about it, and then some people looking for comfort who suffered from incest.

Would you believe me if I said I feel bad for them?

But would you believe me if I also said I don't consider us anywhere near victim level and I don't relate to them? We're both willing. We aren't victims. We didn't know what we were doing, but we laugh about it now. We had no idea we were committing such a taboo! It's hilarious to us. We really do laugh.

We know it's wrong now, yes. But it's some kind of strange therapy for us. If I'm feeling sad, Hikaru kisses me and touches me until I stop feeling upset. I do the same for Hikaru. It's a kind of treatment that only works for us. Nothing else makes us feel better.

What makes it funnier is that while we're kissing, we'll talk about common, every day things. Oh, Haruhi looked cute. Tono was funny and we should try to send him to his corner again and--ow! Hikaru, you just bit too hard! Kyouya needs to stop being a bastard--haha, we just started kissing and you're hard already! Weak. Oh...mm…never mind--did Mori grow more? Wonder if Hunny can jump onto his shoulders now--yeah, take your shirt off too. And what makes it even funnier is that we truly don't love each other anything as more than brothers. We can't even say this is an unfortunate circumstance of my soul mate being my twin, and oh my, I just can't hold back my love! I love Hikaru as much as any twin could and he's my soul mate in the twin kind of way, but I can't fall in love with him. That's weird.

Don't try to hold back your laughter either. It's probably the most hilarious joke we could ever come up with.

We plan on telling our wives--we plan on marrying twins because it just seems easier--they can kiss each other too, if they want. We plan on the divorce happening in about a month. We may not, though. Who knows? We never do.

And to be completely corny, like a drug addict needs whatever drug they're so hopelessly addicted to, I'm hopelessly addicted to my brother's talented hands.

You can laugh at that too. I know we do.

Life is funny and sometimes, all you can do is laugh.