Everything has a story behind it. Something happened that made something else happen, or made something else exist, and that cause-and-effect reaction left a story behind to be remembered from then on. Even inanimate objects have some sort of tale of creation, or an account of something related to aforementioned object, that is forever embedded into the threads of time. Past heroes and legends might have journeyed across the same rocks that are currently strewn about me. Stories of death lay cold in the waters of Lake Hylia, and stories of birth are planted along the water's sandy banks. Each resident of Castletown obtains a story that's different from the people of Kakariko Village, and the Gorons up in the mountains, and the Zoras in the depths of the river. Even the hookshot in my pouch tells the story of how I chased an out-of-its-mind ghost of a grave keeper through torch-lit tunnels beneath the Kakariko Graveyard. The story of one person may link to that of another, and even though that bond may be severed in the physical world, it can never be broken in the ultimate stronghold of a world's memories.
Even I have a story.
My story is different. My story links me to many different aspects of life that others may never experience, despite their undying desire to do so. My story links me to travel, fright, determination, adventure, and courage. Envious as some appear to be of me, there are attributes of other people's stories that I would do anything to attain. It's difficult to understand from their point of view. Why wouldn't it be? I'm linked to fame, pride, and victory. Those are the most important goals to strive to accomplish, right? That's what people claim, but that's not how it unfolds in my story. My story yearns for more than what I've already unintentionally come by. My story aches for a chapter of companionship, and a chapter of a childhood. My story wants a chapter of normalcy. Instead I am just linked by indestructible chains to being more than I could ever fully comprehend. So many pages of my story are fuzzy or ripped apart. There are always mysteries floating within my sub conscious; mysteries, searching for clues as to their explanations, but searching futilely. My ancestors, me, and my future descendants all lived, live, and will relive the same story that lacks any sense of completion or genuine happiness. We are all linked to the same title of the same story.
I am Link.
I am the Hero of Time.
My story is far too vast to tell in one session. It's not a bothersome trait, however, considering that most any citizen of Hyrule can tell my story as well as I can. The only secrets I have are the ones that even I myself do not fully understand. They are impenetrable thoughts and motives that constantly linger within me, and I often wonder if it is these mysterious secrets of mine that compel me to live the life that I have been destined for. I could end it at any moment that I deem precise. I didn't have to leave the priority in the hands of my enemies, and believe me, the enormous amount of adversaries that I have obtained over the years already holds that same priority high on their list. Then again, there's always something that scratches at the back of my mind. It tells me to stop thinking such foolish thoughts, and that I have earned much to live for. I have a land that I love dearly, of which I have been destined to save and protect. I have companions that live within that land, and as few as they may be, each one makes up for the childhood friendships that I was deprived of. In the end, it's always the thought of my companions that drives the irrational notions away from my mind. Disregarding the many things that I lack in my life, the raw friendships that I have sculpted ultimately define the reason for my being, and more over, provide me with a reason to keep right on living.
I dig my heels harder into Epona's haunches, urging her onward with a determination that stems from her as much as it does from me. She isn't any ordinary horse. She knows that that traitorous Ingo means her harm by one way or another. I'm not about to let that spineless coward send her off to Ganondorf, and if I want to keep the mare safe, we have to pull ahead and win this race.
"Yah, yah!"
My shouting command provokes Epona to strengthen her haste as we come up to one of the many iron-cast fences set as obstacles about the course. Hah, as if a pathetic fence could stop Epona. She easily clears the bars, her hooves raising a cloud of dust as she pounds around the perimeter of the corral fence. Ingo is considerably behind us now, although his attempts at forcing his own horse onward are clear within our range of hearing. I cut her direction to the inner most part of the path, and soon enough, Epona and I are galloping across the designated finish line with the taste of victory tickling our taste buds. She knows that we've won, and she makes her pride evident by rearing up and emitting a victorious whinny, her eyes sharp on the man that had condemned her to an ill-fated demise.
"You lost, Ingo! That's twice in a row that Epona and I have out run you. You've to give back the ranch to its rightful owner," my voices bellows at him with a ragged tone. Although it may have looked easy, Ingo is a formidable opponent. I assume that the pressures and whatever else Ganondorf instilled upon the man somehow upped his strength in more than one way. Still, I wasn't about to let Epona get sent off to be under the reign of the Gerudo King.
"How did you . . . What happ- . . . How did you ride that horse?!" Ingo's temples pulse with the anger and frustration that resulted from being beaten. Twice. "That horse was supposed to be my gift to Ganondorf! He'll only be angry if . . . Aghh!" The man thrashes about while holding his head, searching roughly through his brain for anything to do that could aid in his ever-losing condition. Abruptly, almost too abruptly, his behavior calms, and the green-and-white-clad ranch hand shifts his goggling eyes up at me.
I've never really liked Ingo. He had never done anything outwardly harmful to Lon Lon Ranch before Ganondorf took Hyrule into his own hands, but there was an undeniable sense of suspicion that followed Ingo wherever he went. I could never convince Malon or Talon of my skepticism with Ingo. Malon is far too kind to believe that anybody would want to hurt her or her animals. Talon is almost too lazy to care. He didn't believe that the only man that had ever worked for him, aside from his daughter, would decide to turn on him. I left the subject alone after awhile, mainly out of respect for Malon.
"What're you going at, Ingo?"
"Ah-haha, nothing, nothing at all! Of course I'll give the ranch back. Haha, it'd be my pleasure. Except . . ."
"Except what?"
"Except, you won't be leaving!"
My head limps forward a bit at his announcement. Not only is he not making any sense, but I'm already frustrated enough with this man, and he's only making things worse.
"How in the Goddesses?"
His intentions become perfectly clear as I hear the creaking of old age hinges as they escape outwards. I whip my head around to see that the iron gate leading to the corral has been swung shut, thereby locking Ingo and me in this high-walled cage against my will.
That Goddess-damned snake.
I wring my fists on Epona's reins as I watch Ingo writhe in his own pleasure. He thinks that he's done one over my head. He thinks that he's accomplished a black victory by sealing off the only obvious exit from this one vicinity. However, he couldn't be anymore wrong. I've been voyaging all across Hyrule long enough to have learned that there is never only one entrance and one exit in any location. At least, there isn't when you're the Hero of Time.
"Laugh all you want, Ingo, but this isn't over. I'll be back!"
My shout falls upon partially deaf ears as I rear Epona and send her flying off toward the eastern cliff wall. No pathetic little gate closed by a pathetic little man is going to restrict me to one place, and that goes double for the auburn mare beneath me. I urge Epona on, the all-too-familiar wind whipping against my face as we near the wall. There's no hesitation in the pounding hooves as we advance closer and closer. There's no room for hesitation to present itself. Either from her or me, it would only bring about doubts, and if there is ever a time to not be doubtful, it is now. We're threateningly close to the wall, and I think I can hear Ingo screaming at my thinning figure. It doesn't matter. I'm as good as gone now. With one, swift kick, Epona launches from the grass. Her sturdy body leaps through the air, easily clearing the cliff wall with me in her saddle, a smile creasing my cheeks with the sweet, sweet victory that nobody can keep from me.
We land not far from the ranch on the dirt path of Hyrule Field. It feels like it wasn't but just days ago that I was ten-years-old and running frantically along that path from Peahats during the day and Stalchildren at night. It truly is a moment to be prideful about, but in truth, I'm more concentrating on my next move. I rescued the ranch from the indirect clutches of Ganondorf, and thereby put Malon and her animals in safety. That is all fine and dandy, but at the moment, there is a lot more to worry about.
Still, I give Epona a genuine smile filled with warmth at her sight. She's a beautiful horse, and something about her always seems to click with me. Malon noticed it right off the bat. I always believed that was why she taught me Epona's Song. She knew as well as I that Epona was destined for things far more great than just being the fastest horse at Lon Lon Ranch. I give Epona a good-hearted pat, and within the next moment, we're zipping toward the horizon with new hopes and old missions.
- - -
"Link!"
It is one of the few times that she had actually calls me Link. Usually it is just "Fairy Boy." I suppose the dire factor of the situation at hand calls for more than silly nicknames.
It has been countless days since I was last at Lon Lon Ranch. The last time I had left quite a scathing mark in my path. I found it taken over by Ingo, apparently under the influence of Ganondorf, of who is still my number one enemy. It had taken two races with Epona to gamble the ranch out of Ingo's hands and back into the rightful hands of Malon and Talon (of who I later found snoozing away at Kakariko after being banished by Ingo.) Since that faithful day here Epona leaped the cliff fence as a measure of escape, I had taken three steps closer to my ultimate destination. And now here I am, jogging through the grass toward Malon, who is standing with her hands clamped with joy at her chest in the middle of the horse corral. Some outward force brings a sense of familiarity to this situation, but that sort of thinking is at the back of my mind. Right now, I'm concentrating on the fiery-haired young woman standing before me, her eyes beaming that beautiful blue gaze right at my approaching form.
"Malon! How are you? Where's Ingo? He had better have lived up to his promise, or I'll-"
"Oh, Link," she cuts me off before I can finish the threatening sentence, "Ingo has been wonderful. He's truly opened himself up now! He's constantly giddy with one thing or another, and he's helping out with everything all over the ranch."
Her sing-song voice overflows with a jovial tone that I had long since missed sincerely. Hearing her voice, happy and free as a wild horse, brings about a package of glee to my own emotions. It's not entirely personal on my behalf either. If Malon is happy, despite her naturally sparkly personality, that means that I am succeeding in my duties as the Hero of Time. It's only a small piece of accomplishment, but it's an accomplishment still the same. The mere fact that I am infatuated with the rancher's daughter, and am capable of inflicting joy into her life, is just a bonus for me.
"Oh, Link!"
She cuts off my train of thought with her small outburst, accompanied with a rough hug. If I hadn't known better, I would've sworn that she tripped into my arms. It's possible still, although I don't really mind. I wrap my arms about her waist, hushing her muffled sobs. I cannot decipher the meaning to her tears. Surely she can't be sad, can she? That's a dumb question. Of course she could be. Ganondorf still rules Hyrule with his iron-damned fist, and the safety of the land rests in the hands of an outcast Kokiri with a shiny sword. The outcome of Hyrule doesn't look too grand from the citizen's point of view. Then again, Malon could be crying with tears of joy. I hope it's that one.
"Link, I just can't tell you enough how grateful I am. You've done so much for me, and I feel as if I should do something for you in return. You saved the ranch and the horses, and you rescued my dad, and you even cracked Mr. Ingo's stubborn exterior! I couldn't be happier right now, and yet . . ." she trails off for a moment. "And yet, I still find myself worried more often than not. I climb into bed at night, and I tremble all over with the fear that something horrible might happen. And not to the ranch. If anything, I feel as if the ranch is the safest place in all of Hyrule right now. You've protected me and the ranch when ever the situation got bad. But, when it comes down to . . . to what really matters to me right now, I start to feel that ball of fear rise in the pit of stomach, and I cry . . ."
Already I can hear her wavering voice that heralds fresh tears. She's shaking in my arms, and I tighten my embrace, trying to send waves of comfort from me to her. Evidently, despite her task-filled day, she's had plenty of time to mull over her most recent thoughts on certain things. Her words are not fresh from her mind. Rather, they're bulging with emotion that's been bottled up and preserved for numerous days, perhaps longer, and only now is she beginning to relieve herself of that emotion. It's different than crying alone. Now, she's crying in front of the thing that matters; the thing (or person) that has caused her all of this emotional turmoil since the beginning. She's crying to me.
"Malon," I attempt to console her, "you've nothing to fear about. Nothing will happen that might hurt you. I won't allow it."
"But that's just it!" She suddenly jerks in my arms, her eyes wheeling up to meet mine. "What if you're not? What if something horrible happens to you, and I never get to see you again? I don't care about whether or not I'm protected. I'd give up all of my security if it meant that I would positively see you alive and well. It scares me beyond belief when I hear about the things that you do or that you've done. The rumors are ghastly, Link! Sometimes people actually believe that you were killed in a battle, and for the brief instant when I first hear that, I . . . I believe it too. I don't want to believe it, and I feel awful for even thinking it, but sometimes it's just too hard not to. The things that you face are just so terrible. I'm afraid that one of these times the rumor is going to be the truth, and then Hyrule and all of its people will be left in Ganondorf's horrible hands, and I'll . . . I'll never see you again."
She can't help but to cover her eyes as she finishes. Newly sprung tears have filled them with sparkling pools, and her sobs are more defined now, despite the fact that she is buried in my tunic front. My mind is racing with all of the things that Malon has relieved herself of. There was much more than just sentimentality and fright in her words. The emotions that she expressed both in her voice and on her facial features were powerful and genuine. Nothing about her current state of being is weak, and certainly nothing is light-hearted. Everything she spoke was stolen right from the core of her heart, and with that deep of meaning, Malon would never be able to recover back to her life prior to this cascade of heart and soul expression.
"Malon . . ." I begin as I contemplate the many methods of tackling this fragile situation, "Nothing is set in stone for me. It's not written anywhere that I must die in a certain battle at a certain time at a certain place. It's not even sure that I'll defeat Ganondorf, let alone live long to try. But, if one thing is for sure, it's that I am the Hero of Time. That's who I am, and I cannot change that. It's been my destiny even before I was born, and I can't turn my back on Hyrule. I don't think I could even if I tried. I have to do this, not only for this land, but for myself as well. And I'm so close, Malon! I'm so close to the Gerudo King that I can almost feel him sensing my oncoming, and I know that soon enough I'll be brushing sword with sword against him and all that he stands for. But, despite that, and despite the risks, the dangers, and despite everything that relates to being the Hero of Time, I know that some things are supposed to happen. Some things, despite the circumstances, will and always will be a part of life. My life, your life, everybody's life. I'm not meant to die. I tell myself that every time I'm in battle and the outcome is foggy. I'm not meant to die; I'm meant to stop Ganondorf and halt the flow of evil into this land that I love so dearly. It's what I'm meant, no, destined to do. And I won't let anybody get in my way of that. Not Ganondorf's cronies, not a temple, not even Ganondorf himself. And as determined as I am to break the bonds that Ganondorf has placed on Hyrule, even more determined am I to see to it that I can maintain a state of peace in this land. I'll have to be alive in order to do that."
"But, Link-"
"And if I'm alive in order to do that, then I'm alive to see you, and be with you, and make sure that nothing else vile is bestowed onto this land, its people, or you."
"How can you be so sure?"
"I just am, Malon. Certainty is the one thing that I can utilize and shield myself with. It's worked for me thus far, and I intend to make it work for me right up to and through the end. And if that end -- that one battle that will decide the future of this land -- is in thirty days, a year, or even tomorrow, so be it! I'll face it like I'm meant to. I promise, Malon. I promise that I will make it back to you. I will fight my way back if I have to, and I will stand with you, right here, and be with you. Of all the things that I've developed a certainty about, that is the one thing that I am one hundred percent certain will happen."
She's not the only one that's been bottling up emotions.
- - -
News has spread. It is all over the slowly solidifying lands that redemption has been graciously spread from the deepest bough of the Lost Woods to the driest pebble of the Gerudo Desert. Opinions have been formed by all of the Hylians, some sharing, some arguing amongst one another. Still, even with the thin outer shell of specific detail, the base of each opinion and rumor is exactly the same. The Hero of Time stormed Ganondorf's castle. The Hero of Time defeated Ganondorf. The Hero of Time rescued the Princess Zelda.
I saved Hyrule.
There is highly verbal speculation as to just how I had fought and defeated the Evil King. Each citizen has his or her own idea of how I had brought justice to the throne of Hyrule with the Blade of Evil's Bane. I have heard most of the rumors without fail, and although some are quite close to the truth, some are horrendously ridiculous.
"It was then that Ganondorf called upon the power of the Triforce, and with that he raised towers of stone one thousand feet high, right between him and the Hero of Time! The Hero of Time couldn't back down, so with nothing but the Master Sword and his raw courage, the Hero of Time ran full-force at the towers of stone, and with a mighty slash, he shattered them into dust!"
Some rumors are just too fabricated to even be believable, and yet, the gullible citizens of Hyrule eat the juicy gossip as if it is freshly baked sweetbread. It isn't their fault. For all of the trouble that they endure, and all of the mysteries left unsolved, it's natural for them to latch onto the first secret that they hear. At least this time everything has some sort of sliver of truth to it. I'm not too sure where the rumor of one thousand feet high towers of stone came from -- wouldn't you see a jutting tower of stone that high? -- but everybody agrees upon the same thing; I thwarted the Evil King, and brought down Ganondorf's reign.
And I did. I know I did. I was there, after all. I could easily put a stop to all of the wonderful things that people etch into history. Certainly I hadn't demolished any towers of stone with a swing of my sword. But, no matter how many people I relate the full truth to, no matter how well the raw truth spreads, there will always be doubt. It's not necessarily a negative doubt. People will simply doubt that I, in fact, hadn't done any of those magnificent things. People will doubt that their Hero of Time -- and that's all they refer to me as now -- simply slew a powerful sorcerer, as if it is as easy as that sounds. It's just something for the Hylians to aspire to. They look to me for not only security and salvation, but for the adventure that they are deprived of as normal citizens. They count on me to provide them with excitement and amazing feats of action that they can cherish and hand down through the upcoming generations. I'm their savior and their performer.
There wasn't much to return to once I had silenced the Evil King's rule. I had plenty of wounds to tend to, but I could only rest and "take it easy" for so long. Disregarding the large hole of emptiness in my schedule, there was one thing that I knew I had to take care of immediately. As it turns out, I take pride in being a man of my word.
I set out almost instantly once I realized that I have regained enough consciousness and energy to travel. Epona is right there, waiting for me like the loyal horse that she has proved herself of being. If I never have another human friend again in my life, I can at least be satisfied with the friendship that Epona has given me, and I to her in return. She understands me, of which is made evident when she gallops over the hills with one destination in mind and in view. The looming walls of Lon Lon Ranch spot the horizon almost all the way from the Kokiri Forest entrance, and with each foot closer, I feel a knot in my stomach tighten and roll. I have dreamed of this moment prior to now. There have been times when this moment-to-be seemed to be the one thing that kept me alive. Perhaps it has been. I'm not the one to fully judge, but regardless, here I am, alive and getting closer to that tangible flood of memories and promises.
It doesn't take long before I'm stepping over the threshold of the Lon Lon Ranch gateway. Everything pretty much looks the same. The horses are still spread out in the corral, and the barn still emanates with animal sounds and animal smells. I'm sure Talon is asleep somewhere, most likely on the ground floor of the farm house with Cuccoos milling about him. Still, nothing of that nature interests me as much as other characteristics of this ranch. For the exaggerated millionth time during my life, I find myself walking out towards the corral fence, eyes and mind fixated on one thing with one purpose.
How come whenever we have something important to talk about, she's always singing in the middle of the corral?
I push the thought to the back of my mind as well as I push my feet onward. They're sore, to say the least, but that's something that I have grown rapidly accustomed to. It doesn't take long for the young woman to spot me coming, and her previously-heard song drifts on the wind of the area. Even so, it's as if I can still hear that melody ringing sweetly in my ears.
"Link . . ."
Silence reigns for a moment longer as I advance completely, and am standing inches away from her frame. I can see that her breath is caught in her throat, and the intensity of this simple picturesque moment is frozen at a high standpoint.
"I promised that I would come back."
My sentence shatters the ice, and her breath escapes in a heart-heavy sob as she throws her arms around my bruised body. I catch her in a familiar embrace, and after a lengthy moment of just enjoying one another's real company, I push her back slightly with my hands on her hips. She looks . . . different. Of all the aspects of Lon Lon Ranch that have remained the same over the years, it's Malon that has altered the most, and not just physically. Even between now and the last time that I saw her, she's changed. Her expression has regained some fullness, and her eyes blaze with that sky blue color that makes her all the more unique. More so changed, however, is the invisible aura of emotion surrounding her entirely. She's gained so much between our encounters, and lost an equal amount of other. She's lost the worry and the fear, and in its place is relief and serenity. The sharp pins that drove her to extreme levels of emotion have been plucked from her soul, and she now stands tall like the beautiful and strong red-petal blossom that she is.
"I knew you would," Malon almost seems to be reassuring herself with this statement. Never-the-less, she continues, "I knew you would come back. Not just for me, but for Hyrule. You did it, Link!"
I can't help but smile at her enthusiasm for my victory. No, not my victory, but for Hyrule's victory. That same enthusiastic persona is part of the reason, I believe, that she is the way she is. She simply does not find hatred in many things, and besides the few things that she finds utterly loathsome, she finds happiness in everything else. It's when she loves something that it becomes serious. Usually, with Malon, I find that what she loves and hates are somehow similar. She does not necessarily love and hate something at the same time. Rather, she hates for something bad to happen to something that she loves. Everything else is merely neutral between her feelings, and even that line of neutrality is something to be content with. She loves her father, her horses, and Hyrule. She loathes harm coming to her father, her horses, and Hyrule. Something entwined with that theory itches at every nerve of my mind. There have been times when I was afraid in the past. I was afraid of what was to come when I had first set out on this adventure seven years ago. I was afraid of what I might lose throughout this journey. I was afraid when my sword met the burning power of the Evil King. I was even afraid for what my life would be once I had vanquished Ganondorf back to the Sacred Realm. Now is different, though. Now, I can feel something sneaking up on my presence. I can sense that it's something I have been fearing for more than just a few minutes, and I'm certain -- I'm always certain -- that this something will bring more turmoil and emotions than I have yet to experience. And I'm terrified.
"You're truly a hero, Link. And you're a hero on so many more levels than just saving Hyrule."
"I haven't really thought about it much. I'm not entirely too sure of what I should be doing with the time that I have right now. I don't have any monster to chase down, or evil ruler to battle. It's kind of awkward, really."
"But, you're done with it. You rid Hyrule of all the evil that was poisoning it. You can finally relax, right?"
"Malon . . ."
That itching something is closing in on me. I can feel it pursuing me right up to a dead end, and it's breathing down the back of my neck with a breath like fire.
"Malon, I . . . I can't."
"Can't what?" The giddiness in her voice suddenly disappears. The naked tone that's left is stricken with a slathering of curiosity, concern, and dashes of fear. "What can't you do?"
"I can't stay here, Malon! I can't stay here, or anywhere, and just abandon who I am like that. I can't just let everything that's happened in the past loose, and pretend as if I can finally live out a normal life. I can't live a normal life!"
"Link, calm down. Of course you can! It's what you've always wanted, and now you can!"
"That's just it! I can't. Me, Link, the Hero of Time. I can't hide from that. I'm the Hero of Time, and I always will be. There's always going to be something relating to the Hero of Time, whether it be political business, or privacy, or another rising evil somewhere in the depths of Hyrule. It's always who I'm going to be, and it's always what I'm going to have to do."
"What are you saying? That just because you're the Hero of Time, suddenly you're too good to stay here with the animals, and Dad and Mr. Ingo, and . . . me?"
"No, Malon, that's not it. It's just . . . It's just that, no matter where I go, or what I do, it'll always be somehow linked to who I ultimately am. I often thought about what it'd be like if I defeated Ganondorf and saved Hyrule. I dreamed about settling down, and getting married, and starting a family. And I thought about you, and what it'd be like to finally just be able to live normally. But, then I thought about what would happen if something happened to you or somebody else I loved. What if you were kidnapped, or worse, in an attempt to get to me? What if we were married, and we had children, and they were harmed because of me? Your life would be in constant danger, because of me! There's never going to be a time where there's not somebody, or something, out there that doesn't want me dead, and I haven't met many enemies that are willing to compromise or fight all too fairly. Starting a normal life would only be jeopardizing those who I love and let into my life. I can't let the Hero of Time in me do that to anybody that I love."
She's staring at me. It's the only thing that I can really see; those sky blue eyes. They're heavy with unwarranted defeat, and a sort of sadness pours from them, although not necessarily in the form of hot tears (although those are also beginning to form). She doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve to be yelled at, and to have to deal with hearing all of my personal hardships. But, in a way, she has to hear it. She has to. Or, at least I feel that I'm obligated to tell her. I could have run. I could have hid from her and from the truth of the matter; hid in the Golden Palace walls, or with the Kokiri, and hid from what I started months ago. But, if anything, that is what she deserves the least. I had to tell her. I couldn't let her wake up each day with the hopeful sensation that someday, somehow, her wishes would be granted, and all would be right again. The fact is, however, that even now I am obliterating exactly that. I'm destroying the happiness that bubbles over when she looks at me. I'm smothering the joy we share in one another's company, and for what? What's the reason behind my outburst? It's something that I don't even have any control over. I didn't pick to be the Hero of Time. The title picked me. It's something that I couldn't have outrun at any time in my life. Not now, not when I was still a young Kokiri, and not any time in the future. This is what has been chosen for me; this life of battle, hardship, determination, and overall emptiness and yearning.
Malon doesn't deserve a life like that. She deserves something better; something that she can hold on to for all her years, and cherish with all her heart, and know that it will never leave her gentle hold.
I can't give her that. I can't support her with that comforting notion that I so desire to be able to.
I'm still not sure what she will say. Her expression radiates with so many different things all at once; sadness, exhaustion, anger, confusion, and so many more that I can't seem to put a name to. Her nameless expression only feeds the fright that has taken over all of my concentration. It's like a fire that has spread far past the point of being maintained. It's burrowing into the situation with every intention of growing, and at the moment, the tension between Malon and me is providing the fire with all the fuel it needs.
"So, you're saying that this is it?" Malon begins to speak, and just like her expression, her tone of voice is jumbled and scrambled with emotions. "Just because of your own concern for other people, you think that you can decide something that affects both of our lives? I . . . I . . . I don't even know what to think right now." She pauses. It is a deathly pause. I almost wish she was still talking, or screaming, or something. Anything instead of this horrible silence that means both of our minds are swirling with the fact that no matter what we do, nothing will ever be the same. "I guess now nothing will ever happen between us. We won't get married, or have children, or live out a life together. But, that doesn't matter. Not anymore. Right? I-It doesn't matter that I'd rather be with you despite the risks. It doesn't matter that you mean to me more than what it means to be without you. All that matters is what you decide, so go on! Just, make your final decisions, and leave before you do anything that you'll regret later."
She's toying with what to do next, but it's obvious that she is making the transition from shocked to sad to angry. Her body is basically shaking from all the unexpressed heat that is welling up inside of her, and I can't decide if I should comfort her or just let her vent to a pair of listening ears. Her words have stopped short, however, and it's somewhat surprising. Still, the struggle between giving in to my own inner conflict or pressing on with the battle for what I know is the right thing to do is wearing my energy to a dangerously low point on the scale. But, I know what I should do. I know that I can't give in to my inner voice and reconsider my upcoming actions.
"I'm sorry, Malon. I . . . I can't stay. I just can't."
It's the right thing to do . . . right?
She doesn't respond. Even as I turn my back and begin to walk away, she doesn't say anything. I suppose there are a lot of reasons for her silence, and my own as well. I don't really want to think about it. I can't let myself think about it. I can't let the Hero of Time ruin the lives of anybody like it has my own life. It's a condemnation to whoever it chooses to bestow its title upon, and it's a condemnation that would likely be shared with any who are linked to the originally inflicted. I keep walking, past the farm buildings, and straight through the overbearing cliff side entrance that has served to me memories that fall short of my ultimate desire. Perhaps it's my imagination, or my emotions playing tricks with me, but a sufferable sob drifts in with the day's light gale. It's a sob that echoes throughout my mind, wrenching at my heart strings, but I convince my feet to disregard this sudden swell of doubt. I can't change my mind now. I had a choice, and I made my decision. I made the decision that who I am demanded of me. It's what I'm supposed to do. It's who I am.
It's my story.