A/N: The news are that some wrestlers missed Sunday nights Raw live in Madison Square Garden because of the snow and that the car ride from New York to Albany (where Raw will be held tonight) took them 7 instead of 3 hours. That's what my mind made of it. I don't own anything and I don't earn anythign either. Enjoy
"…whadda ya want, motherfucka?" Adam's tone could at best be described as grumpy, an audible yawn following the not so nice greeting. Mike wasn't really surprised by his behavior though, because it was rather early in the morning and if he'd had the chance he'd be sleeping as well at his unholy hour.
"We're stuck in that fucking snow since forever and I'm going crazy sitting in the car and doing nothing." he grumbled, rubbing his tired eyes with the palm of his free hand. God, he was tired.
For a moment there was silence on the other side of the line, then he heard some rustling and a groan of suppressed frustration before Adam's voice was back again, "It's 5:18 in the friggin' morning, kid… you know that I went to bed some three hours ago and that I'm still more than half-drunk?"
It was a rhetorical question so the older man obviously didn't want an answer. He just sighed in his cell phone and rummaged through his nightstand in search of some Aspirin, giving Mike time to think about the best way to tease him for being hangover.
"Well then you're in good company, I guess. One with a drug problem, one with an eating disorder and an alcohol addict… does Jason have problems I should know about?"
"Fuck you Mike, your ass will pay for that …one way or another." he actually held the cell a little further away from his ear when he heard the venom in Adam's voice. Being woken in the middle of the night with alcohol still running through his veins apparently lowered the older man's tolerance to his bickering big time.
"Sorry." Mike really didn't want to aggravate Adam any further, "It's just that I'm bored as hell and with the way the car his moving I can't even sleep in here."
"Where are you anyway?" he sounded fairly interested now.
"Somewhere between New York and Albany and hopefully closer to the second than to the first." Mike sighed. They had stopped trying to look for any road signs hours ago since all of them were snowed up to the point where you couldn't read them anymore – not to mention the fact that the snow-caused traffic jam made knowing where you were pretty useless. It wasn't as if they could just take another road.
"We're at least past Catskill." Zack chimed in from the driver's seat, "Not that it matters … at the speed we're currently moving we'll certainly need another two hours until Albany."
"…Zack say's we'll probably need another two hours until we're there." he passed on, knowing that Adam most likely hadn't heard the younger man.
"Poor kids are stuck on the road in bad weather." Adam teased, "Be happy that you're in New York and not in Winnipeg. You wimps wouldn't survive one minute in a real blizzard."
Ignoring the provocation – because Adam always won this kind of verbal battles – Mike changed the subject, "How's Chris doing anyway? It has to be even worse up there."
Adam snorted, "He's a Canadian, baby. He's enjoying the snow and drinking some good booze to keep from freezing …that's how men handle this, whining will only make your balls freeze faster."
"Stop insulting me and my balls!" Mike grinded his teeth, "I called you because I needed some entertaining company and not because I wanted to get my manhood insulted."
"Tough shit, Mikey." laughter echoes in his ear, "If you'd wanted some pep talk you should've called Glenn. You know I'm not into foreplay."
Mike really wanted to respond with some smart remark, but before he could come up with anything remotely good Adam already continued talking as if he hadn't said anything, "Who's with you anyway? I hope for your own good that you aren't driving with Randy, because I can tell that this weather'll make him go nuts."
"Fortunately Randy is in John's car. I'm with Zack and Phil." Mike fiddled with his cell for a moment, "Wait a sec, I'm putting you on the speaker."
Pushing the right button on his cell Mike carefully placed the expensive piece of technology in his lap, "You hear me?"
"Loud and clear." he snickered, "Hey guys. I heard that you and the girl who's currently WWE Champ are stuck in some shitty weather in the middle of nowhere. I feel with you here in my warm and comfy bed, believe me."
Phil sat upright in the passenger seat in the blink of an eye, "That's who you call in the middle of the night? …Adam fucking Copeland?"
Punk turned his head and stared at Mike with disgust before he looked down at the phone in his lap with a nasty look on his face – if his glare could have killed the small device would have turned to ash in that very instant.
"You're not happy to hear me, Punker? I'm devastated." all three of them could actually hear Adam's malicious grin.
"No, I'm not happy to hear you…" Phil clenched his teeth, "Now go back to fucking baby Hardy before I'm truly going crazy because of you fuckers."
Adam just snorted, "Still running your pretty mouth, Phil? …someone really should have taught you how to respect your elders by now. It's not healthy, you know that? One day someone will want to test how big that mouth of yours really is …oh, and for future reference: good bitches always swallow …though I'm pretty sure you know that already."
"Copeland you motherfucker!" Phil snatched after the cell phone to throw the damn thing out of the window but Mike was faster than him and managed to bring it out of his reach, one of his hands clapped over his mouth to stop himself from laughing.
Zack didn't have that much restraint however, his whole shaking with laughter and knuckles turning white around the steering wheel from his effort to hold on, "I love you Adam… seriously… you are the best…"
"Killing the phone won't make my words any less true, Punky." how Adam knew what had happened was beyond Mike, but Phil was positively smoking in his seat now, fixating Mike's cell with a death glare that would've only made Adam laugh harder if he'd seen it.
"Now wanna hear something really funny?" he didn't wait for any of them to answer though and after a short ruffle they heard someone sigh over the speaker, "Wake up Jeffy, there's someone who wants to talk to you."
"Whatisit? …wanna sleep, come back to bed." a voice that sounded quite like Jeff murmured.
"…oh my God, I'm going to vomit!"
"Who's that… what the hell is Brooks doing in my bedroom?"
There was a shrill shriek on the other side of the line followed by the dull sound of a body hitting the floor. Jeff cursed something clearly not rated PG under his breath along with the promise of killing Adam very slowly and very painful.
Phil meanwhile really looked like he was going to puke at any moment.
"I didn't want to know that you were really fucking, Copeland." he made a gagging sound in the bag of his throat, "This image will haunt me in my nightmares, I just know it."
"Hey, asshole!" Jeff had obviously taken the cell from Adam who was still happily giggling in the background, "First of all: we didn't fuck. Second: If we'd fucked I'd been the one on top, and third: …if I ever hear your voice in my house again I swear I personally make my way down to Chicago and make sure that you never use this pretty mouth of yours again."
This time it was Phil who snorted, "You're a living failure Hardy, plus I'd bet all my money that you're drunk… you wouldn't make it to your car, cocksucker. And tell the lie about not fucking Copeland to someone who actually believes it …I bet you can't even get it up for a woman."
At that Adam was roaring with laughter and from the muffled slapping sound in the background Mike could imagine that he was most likely lying on his stomach and pummeling the bed with laughter. The brunette himself couldn't stifle a snicker at the thought that Phil had missed out on something important here.
"I'm sorry that I have to disappoint you, Philly" you could hear Jeff's smirk even through the phone, "…but my daughter might want to disagree with you on that one."
Dead silence.
"What…" Phil's mouth opened and closed it only a moment later with nothing coherent coming out of it. He needed a few instants before he came up with a proper response.
"…why do people like you always think that it's good to have kids, Hardy? Congratulations on begetting another child into the world whose father will die of alcohol poisoning or the aftereffects of drug abuse before it is even ten. I'm sure your spawn will be so proud of you one day."
"At least my daughter will have a father who can teach her what it means to live." Jeff didn't sound angry, just cold, unforgiving and incredible tired.
"...I'm going back to sleep." he apparently passed the cell back to Adam, "Come back under the covers or I'll freeze to death …and keep quiet, I don't want to have to hear Punk again in the near future."
Adam rustled around when he did as Jeff had told him and got back in the bed the two men were sharing, a hiss escaping his lips when he was back in position, "I swear that guy has ice water running through his veins, he is like some shitty vampire. "
"Or probably it's just you smoldering like a volcano as usual." Mike couldn't help but snicker, the older man's pouting huff nearly going unheard.
Phil raised an eyebrow at the sentence, looking from one of his younger co-workers to the other and obviously wanting for one of them to explain the meaning behind Mike's words.
Zack winked at him, "Adam is a living heater…"
"…what you'd have known if you'd ever roomed with him." Mike joined in with the other man's laughter when he saw Phil's startled facial expression.
"In fact we did room together…" Adam cleared his throat.
Two pairs of blue eyes turned towards Phil at the rather cryptic declaration, a gleam of mischief shining in the younger men's faces. Punk knew that look; it was how hungry lions looked at a particular juicy gazelle.
"Oh no no no, I'm so not telling that story…"
Zack and Mike grinned at each other and Adam laughed in the background, snuggling against Jeff with the cell at his ear and ready to enjoy the show – the day could have started far worse after all.
...no, I don't hate Punk, he is just in character ( and I needed a victim ;)). Actually I think he is one of the best currently in the business.
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