And yes I'm back! And in a total Christmas mood people!

This is the first story of my Christmas oneshot series. Each chapter will be a new EO Christmasy oneshot! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine but maybe in 22 days...?!

Ruined Christmas

"El? Are you listening to what I'm saying?"

Elliot raised his head from the spot he was staring at, the last five minutes and turned his attention to Olivia, who was looking at him with a teasing smile. He couldn't help it when his heart skirted.

"Hmmm?" he said absent-mindedly. He was too busy thinking, how full and rosey Olivia's lips seemed, and how it would feel to kiss them…

"You didn't listen to a word I said, am I right?" She said teasingly again.

"Oh, yeah sorry Liv… I'm kind of tired…" Elliot said trying to focus his gaze to her eyes instead of her lips. Big mistake. Her warm chocolate eyes were as if they were piercing wholes through him.

She smiled. Oh God, that smile.

"I kind of noticed that. Well I asked you, what your plans were for today?"

"Um… I dunno, what's it today again?"

"El, today is Christmas Eve. Are you sure you're feeling good?" Olivia asked with a touch of concern.

"Oh, yeah yeah sure… As I told you I'm kind of tired… Um no I don't have any particular plans for today… I am getting the kids tomorrow though." He said with a small smile, at the thought of his kids. God, his kids. His kids and Olivia…the most important things in his life. "Um what about you Liv? Any plans?" He asked, while he was praying silently that she would say no, she didn't have any plans, and would he like to spend the evening together?. But her response brought him, hard, back to reality.

"Actually… yes. I'm meeting Nick for dinner later." Olivia said, a wide smile plastered on her face.

Elliot's heart, which till now, was jumping up and down, suddenly sank.

"Nick? I didn't… I didn't know you were still seeing him…" He said, trying to control, the sudden anger that started boiling inside him and was demanding to find Nick and turn his face into wipe cream.

"Oh yes, we're still seeing each other. And… oh God look at the time! I had to go home and get ready!"

"Already?" Elliot asked as Olivia was quickly putting her coat on.

"Yes, yes I'm already late. So, Merry Christmas El, see you."

She said and hurried towards the door.

"Merry Christmas Liv…" Elliot replied, but it was late, she was gone.

Olivia hurried back home and started preparing for her date, humming Christmas songs. She looked at the red dress hanging on the closet's door and smiled.

Christmas never symbolized anything happy for her. Her mother had made sure of that, very early in Olivia's life. There was never a Santa, or even presents from her mother. A tree was being decorated, once in three years, if her mother remembered. When Olivia was old enough to be able to decorate the house herself, she did so for some years, until one year, her mother into a drunken fit threw her on the tree, which fell down, along with her. Broken ornaments were everywhere, even inside Olivia's skin. Her mother after that, black out on the couch and Olivia cleaned the mess and went to take care of her wounds, physically and emotionally.

Olivia blinked back the tears, the memory had brought. She hadn't decorated a tree ever since. Once, some years back, she had gone and bought one, and some ornaments and lights, but when she opened the boxes back at her apartment, the bad memories that overcame her, were just too much. They were at the back of a closet ever since.

So as she was getting ready tonight, she really hoped that this Christmas Eve would be different. Nick was a decent guy and she really liked him. She looked at herself into the red dress that hugged her curves so nicely, at the mirror and smiled.

Across town, Elliot was sitting on the couch, staring, without actually watching at the tv. He couldn't take out of his mind, her smile when she was telling him about her date with Nick. Well, he didn't have anyone else to blame for this but his own, damn, stupidity. Of course Liv was too special, for her own damn good, and some fancy, horse faced, doctor would have taken her, before him. And it's not like Elliot didn't have any chances. He had, plenty, but he missed them all. When six months ago, Kathy divorced him for the second time, the minute the ink was dry at the divorce papers, he should have asked her out. He was aching to do so. But there was this fucking voice inside of him that told him, that it was too soon, that people and especially his family would assume things that weren't true. And as time passed, he just lost his courage. Every time he would open his mouth to do so, she would shot him one of her breathtaking smiles and he would think, "God, she's too good for me."

And now, he's time was up. He couldn't believe that, he refused to believe that. He refused to let go, of what it felt like… like the biggest love of his life.

He instantly rose from the couch and looked frantically around for his coat. He found it and rushed out of the door.

Olivia searched on her closet frantically for her purse. Time had flown without her even realizing it. It wouldn't be much longer before Nick's arrival.

Elliot got out of his building and started running, pushing people in his way. He had to get there before him.

Olivia looked herself in the mirror and smiled. She didn't have a lot of opportunities to dress up and she had really put a lot of effort on this one. Then she turned her gaze at the clock in the hallway. Nick would be there in ten minutes.

Elliot took a turn, still running. He was almost out of breath, the cold wind was hitting his face and five people had sworn to him but he didn't care. Olivia's apartment wasn't far from his, he would be there soon…

Just as she was putting on some perfume, Olivia heard the doorbell ringing. Oh he's here early, she thought with a flinch of nervousness and went to open.

As soon as she opened the door, she smiled.

"Hello gorgeous. Merry Christmas" Nick said leaning to give her a small peck on her lips, to which Olivia responded eagerly.

"Merry Christmas Nick. You're kind of early" she observed smiling

"Yes, I got off early so as to avoid the traffic but apparently things weren't so dramatically bad so…" He said

"It's okay, I'm ready so just let me get my coat and we'll leave." Olivia said turning around leaving him gazing at her with a smile from the door.

Elliot pulled the last feet towards Olivia's building, panting. He was just some feet before the entrance when he heard a warm laugh, her amazing laugh and the he saw her. He saw her exiting the building with him, his arm around her waist. She was laughing again with something he had leaned and whispered in her ear. He opened the door to a shiny Mercedes for her and Olivia got in, smiling wide. Nick closed the door, went around the car on the driver's side, got in and drove away.

Almost two hours later, Elliot was sitting at the stairs of Olivia's building entrance. Snow had starting to fall lightly half an hour ago and now it had almost covered most of the stairs and street and most of Elliot's shoulder's. He was cold but he didn't care. He seriously doubted that he would care about anything any more.

Olivia and Nick had just exited the restaurant and started walking the few blocks to Nick's car.

"I had a great time tonight Nick, you really made my Christmas Eve very good" Olivia said with a smile as they walked.

"Oh and how's usually Christmas Eve for Olivia Benson?" Nick asked a bit teasingly

"Just me and some cheesy Christmas movies I guess. When Elliot was divorced, we spent some Christmas Eves together…"

"Oh yeah? Doing what?" Nick asked again, his voice a little strange.

"Same thing, watch cheesy movies, but it was more fun with him…"

"More fun than with me?"

Olivia stopped walking and turned to face Nick, blinking confused.

"What does this have to do with you Nick?" she asked quizzically.

Nick who had stopped walking too, shoved his hands into his pocket and let out a bitter laugh.

"Jesus Olivia, do you think I'm blind? You're obviously attracted to the guy."

Olivia blinked some more.

"Nick, what on earth are you talking about? Elliot and I are just friends!"

"Yeah, like hell you're just friends. The last two months that we're dating, you've spent more time with him than with me, and don't tell me that's just for work!"

"Well, of course, it's just for work! Our job is hectic and unpredictable."

"Yeah, yeah, let's be honest here Olivia, how long is he fucking you behind my back?" Nick spat.

Olivia's eyes grew wide in surprise.

" For the last time, we are not having an affair! And I really don't understand where that sudden wave of jealousy is coming from. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find a cab and go home. Call me when you grow up."

She turned to the opposite direction from where they were heading, but suddenly she felt his hand grabbing her arm tight.

"Don't you dare walk away from me like that."

"Aren't you cold out there, my friend?"

"Nah, I'm good thanks." Elliot nodded politely to Olivia's doorman who had came and stood beside him on the stairs.

" Is she worth all this?" The man asked suddenly, his eyes going up and down Elliot's snowy and slightly shivering figure.

He was almost four hours now, in front of Olivia's building. Besides walking up and down the stairs a few times so as not to completely froze, he couldn't bring himself to leave.

Elliot stared at the doorman.

"Yes, she is. She is everything. But I let her slip away. I was stupid enough to just let her slip away." He said turning his gaze down on his lap.

The doorman brought his hand down on Elliot's shoulder. Suddenly Elliot felt a warmness overcoming him and he pulled his eyes back up to the man quizzically.

"You know, my friend, tonight is Christmas Eve. Tonight, miracles do happen." He said with a smile and then walked away and disappeared into the building.

The slap echoed on the empty street. Olivia gasped and brought her hand on her burning cheek. She looked at Nick's cold face and her momentum surprise was replaced with boiling anger.

"You son of a bitch, don't you dare touch me ever again!" She hissed and punched him hard across his face, making him growl and double over.

She started running away from him quickly. She crossed a road, turned to a corner and continued running, having absolutely no idea where she was heading.

Running on high heels wasn't easy but she didn't want to slow down, she couldn't. Suddenly, her foot bumped into something and she fell flat on the pavement, letting out a gasp.

For a second she stood still, trying to catch her breath. Tears had started running down her face. She rested her weight on her arms and slowly raised her body from the pavement. She brushed off the dust and the snow from her coat. She had bent to do the same on her legs, when her hand touched her knee and Olivia winced in pain. She looked down to see her hose torn and her knees a bloody mess.

She bit her trembling lower lip, as more hot tears escaped her eyes. She sniffed and wipe them away, making and effort to start walking again, but her knees were killing her. She managed to walk a few feet, before falling heavy on a bench at the end of the unknown street she had ended up.

With one hand, Olivia closed her coat tighter around her, while the other subconsciously travelled on the side of her face, Nick had hit. She could already feel a bruise forming there. She sighed hard. What was wrong with her? Why did she always pick such pricks? And especially today… Was she destined to be forever miserable on Christmas?

"Now, that it's not true at all."

Olivia raised her head in confusion, only to find an elder man, with a small white beard and a red coat, sitting beside her and smiling gently.

"I'm sorry, was I speaking out loud?" She asked him. The man smiled some more.

"What a beautiful lady is doing at this time of night, and on Christmas Eve of all days, all alone in the dangerous streets of Manhattan?" He asked and Olivia hanged her head again.

"I'm always alone… and it really doesn't make a difference that it's Christmas Eve. It never did. But this year I thought it'd be different, you know? But I couldn't be more wrong." She said letting out a bitter laugh.

"You still have time, you know"

Olivia raised her head again and looked at the man quizzically.

"Time for what?"

"Time to make this Christmas Eve different" the man answered.

"Well I don't see how this is going to happen. The only thing that I want right now, is the only thing I can't have" Olivia admitted, surprising herself, because she had forced this desire to be buried deep down, and she had never actually verbalized it.

The man raised his eyebrows and gave her a questioning look and Olivia sighed.

"He… he doesn't even sees me that way! He's my…. He's my everything and he doesn't have a clue." She said, surprising herself even further with her boldness.

The man let out a small laugh.

" It's Christmas Eve isn't it? Miracles do happen today. So go. Go get him. You may be surprised. You deserve it Olivia, you deserve someone who will treat you properly" he said, brushing gently her bruised cheek with the back of his hand. "You deserve him."

Olivia remained silent, staring at his gentle face for some seconds. Then, she rose from the bench with determination.

"You're right, I owe to myself a try. Thanks" She said and shot the man a smile.

"Anytime. Oh, and before you do anything, make sure you go to your place first. There's a special delivery waiting for you there. Merry Christmas Olivia."

"Merry Christmas" Olivia said nodding absent mindedly and she had already walked a few feet away from the bench, when she froze on the spot.

"Wait how do you even know…" she started saying but the man had disappeared. She blinked some times in confusion and then a smile was drawn to her face.

"Merry Christmas" she whispered and began walking again fast.

The next morning after Serena had pushed her daughter on the tree, Olivia heard the door of her room creaking open and curled further on the far side of her bed.

"Livvy?" Came Serena's hoarse whisper.

Olivia didn't move a muscle, as she heard her mother walking inside the room and then, feeling her beside her on the bed.

"Livvy baby I'm sorry…" Her mother whispered and gathered Olivia in her arms. She then noticed the cuts on her daughter's arms and gasped.

"Oh God, Livvy baby I'm so sorry, mommy is sorry…" she said choking back a sob and rocking Olivia in her lap.

Olivia remembered as she was walking back at her apartment, her eight-year-old self, burying her head on her mother's chest and silently wondering why all this was happening and why she felt so alone and so so hurt…. A feeling that adult Olivia carried for almost her whole life.

But now as she walked closer and closer to her apartment and his humped figure was becoming clearer, she knew, she just knew, that tonight she might be able to put this feeling behind her once and for all.

He rose his head as if he had sensed her approaching. He took in, her somehow battered appearance and he was on his feet immediately.

"Liv! What… how?" He asked worriedly, totally forgetting to even try to explain what he was doing on her stairs a little before midnight on Christmas Eve.

"It's okay El. But can we go upstairs because it's too damn cold out here and these shoes are killing me?" She asked with a chuckle and he nodded and followed her inside the building.

They ride the elevator in silence. As soon as they were inside her apartment and Olivia turned on the lights and kicked of her heels, Elliot was able to take in her appearance better. His eyes travelled from her bloody knees to her face, where they stopped at the bruise in her cheek.

"Liv, what the hell happened?" he asked quietly. Olivia sighed and sat on the couch, gesturing for him to sit beside her. From this point of view, Elliot looked at her cheek core closely.

"Jesus Christ Liv…" he muttered and then realization hit him.

"I'm going to fucking kill him. I'm going to…" he growled but Olivia placed a firm hand on his arm and he turned to face her, his anger boiling inside him.

"El, it's really okay. I mean, yes, he hit me, but I punched him back and then I started running away, and at some point I fell and tore my hose…" she said and glanced down at her knees.

Elliot sighed hard.

"You should take off your hose so as to take care of your knees…"

"Yeah, give me a minute…"

She disappeared into her bedroom and came out some minutes later, having took off her hose and with a washcloth in hand. She sat back next to him and brought the washcloth to her knee. She made a small wincing sound but kept on cleaning away the blood. When she was about to bring the washcloth down to her other knee, she felt Elliot's hand cupping hers.

"Here, let me." He said and took it from her. He started rubbing her knee very gently and Olivia felt her heartbeat going fast. She looked him and even though tonight she had come to believe that anything was bound to happen, she had to ask, she had to hear him say it.

"Elliot, what are you doing here?" She asked, trying to not let her voice reveal her sudden nervousness. He stopped taking care of her knee and looked up at her with a seriousness that made Olivia even more nervous.

"I'm going to tell you something that you may or may not like. Something I couldn't find the courage or even the words to form, until tonight. I saw you exiting your building with that asshole and I thought that I had completely lost my chance but something inside me told me to wait, to not leave just yet… So I stayed. And so, I am here to tell you…" He took a deep breath and Olivia was sure that her heart would jump out of her chest.

"I love you Olivia. I loved you for so long, but I always been afraid to show it, to tell it, damn, to even think it! And later on I thought that I would never be able to tell you but… here I am now. I love you, you mean the world to me, I cannot imagine my life without you." He said, his voice cracking on the last words.

Olivia remain silent for some seconds, just looking at his face, at his amazing, blue eyes who were so filled with love and then, all her nervousness was gone. So she smiled wide as she leaned forward.

"I love you too, so so much." She whispered before capturing his lips into a soft kiss. He kissed her back immediately and quickly deepened the kiss. They remained like that, kissing passionately for several minutes, until air became necessary. They parted, smiling to each other.

"That was nice" Olivia whispered.

"More than nice" Elliot replied trying to catch his breath.

"I guess it beats, movie or takeout or dinner to a nice restaurant" Olivia said with a teasing smile

"You bet it does" He said with a chuckle. Then he took his eyes off Olivia and looked around the living room.

"Still not decorating?"

"I didn't have any real reason to." She said shrugging.

Elliot rose from the couch and Olivia eyed him confused.

"Now you have. Come on, I thought you had mentioned something about a tree being stuffed into a closet?"

Olivia smiled and raised her body from the couch too.

"Well, I guess it's never too late." She said and lead Elliot to the closet where she kept the tree and the decorations.

An hour later, a small tree was standing nearby the window of the living room, its multi colored lights warming up the room. Elliot was standing beside Olivia, gazing at her, as she looked at the tree with sparkling eyes.

"For once, it symbolizes something happy." She mumbled

Elliot placed his hand on the small of her back.

"From now on, it will always stand for something happy, something great." He said and placed a small peck on her soft hair. She turned to face him and locked her arms around his neck.

"I want to feel you… all of you. We've been fighting this for so long…" she mumbled to his ear, sending goosebumps down his spine.

"I love you Liv" he whispered as he picked her up gently and carried her to the bedroom.

Several hours later, they were lying tangled on the bed sheets, on each other's arms. Olivia sighed contently, her face buried on Elliot's broad shoulders.

" I could really get used to it" she said and Elliot chuckled.

"Well, you should. Oh, and by the way, you have a very nice doorman, he kept me some company…"

Olivia raised her head looking confused.

" That can't be right, I don't even have a doorman…" She said and it was Elliot's turn to look confused.

"What? But then who was that man? He was kind of chubby, with a white beard and a…"

"Red coat?"

"Yes, a red coat... wait how do you know?"

Olivia's eyes opened wide as realization hit her. Then her face broke into a smile.

"Did he give you any advice? You know… about us?"

"Yes, actually he said that tonight is Christmas Eve and miracles can happen… I guess he was right." Elliot said smiling too as he leaned to place a kiss against her lips.

" You know… after I run away from Nick and fell, I sat at this bench and suddenly this man appeared beside me. He seemed so nice and gentle and I kind of… poured my heart on him. About you. And he said that its Christmas Eve and miracles do happen. And that I should go home because there was a special package waiting for me there. He was chubby with a white beard and a red coat." Olivia said smiling wide. Elliot stared at her for some seconds before breaking into a laugh.

"Merry Christmas Liv." He said, cupping her face and started peppering her neck with small kisses.

"Merry Christmas El" She replied as she shivered at his touch and dug her nails into his back, moaning slightly as he traveled down at her body.

A dim light crept through the window as Olivia opened her eyes and found herself tangled on Elliot's arms. She smiled and slowly detached herself trying not to wake him.

She walked quietly towards the living room and stopped by the window, beside the lighted Christmas tree.

She watched the small colorful lights smiling, and felt as if they were dancing in front of her eyes.

Olivia's smile grew wider when Elliot's arms came and embraced her warmly. And as she turned around to kiss him, she thought that maybe, just maybe, Christmas weren't so bad after all.

I hope you liked the story and that you will enjoy the rest of them as well!

Coming up next: Olivia receives a very unexpected Christmas gift that will change her life for ever... But what about Elliot? Will it be a gift for him too?

Until then... review! I would love to hear from all of you guys!