Listen To Your Heart, a wrestling fanfic

Mickie paced the floor, searching her heart for the answer. She wasn't aware a decision could cause so much thought process, but when it came to one with matters of the heart on the line and a life-threatening result, she had to be careful, for both parties concerned in the matter.

She had been with John for well over 2 years now. It had been rocky at first, especially trying to keep their relationship secretive for the world to pick apart and examine. She had added worried when it came to creative finding out, or worse, Vince McMahon, himself.

It was no secret that he was forcing couples to be on opposite shows and different appearances and schedules. Having two different touring schedules wouldn't be their only downfall, however.

She had formed her career on Raw, breaking into the scene with her angle with Trish Stratus and cementing her place into the world of women's wrestling in a business that was dominated by mostly men. Only a handful of women were known as true wrestlers and she wanted her craft to go unnoticed to the fans, the haters, her critics and the business itself as a hole.

Then, she had Randy Orton, who she had known for a while. The wild child of the business was a bad ass so to speak and he always tempted her to take a bite of the forbidden fruit, but she never gave in, until recently. John had found out, of course, but he had taken it surprisingly well, for someone with John's temper. They had still broken up, but ultimately, the choice was hers. He had left the decision up to her, which is what lead her to the pacing of the floor, pondering on what avenue to lead her life into.

She was certain where her life was going with John, although he wasn't organized or controlled by far. It was just that cut and dry with John. What you see is what you get, but things had gotten serious before there downfall. She knew an engagement was upcoming and being with Randy for that one night was exactly what she needed. She loved John with every fiber of her being, but she had truthfully felt suffocated and worn out.

Randy was a spur of the minute, one-time deal where feelings could be checked at the door and picked up on your way out, where the guilt set in. The guilty lie and secret she decided to keep from John, until it ate at her and she could hide it now more. She broke down 2 weeks later, telling him every thing, with every last detail exposed. He admired that she was up front and honest, but nonetheless, it hurt him deeply, shattered him to very core and he was left heart broken and single when he left the locker room that cold night in September.

Randy was kind enough to extended his abilities and offer her a night whenever she wanted, but that's how it was with Randy. Swoon 'em, fuck 'em and leave 'em. She didn't have feelings for Randy and knew after the blow up, she never would, but he was a friend and she liked what he offered her. With the sexual side of things put aside, he offered what John couldn't at the moment. She felt free, she could breath, she wasn't tied down.

She threw herself in the over-sized chair in her living room as she scanned the room briefly until her eyes stopped on a picture of John resting on her entertainment stand. She smiled as she recalled the local mall they had visited while appearing in Pennsylvania. They entered the booth and took some silly pictures, but they one she enjoyed the most was where John was holding her tightly with a huge smile plastered on his face.

He always made things better for her, and that was something she could definitely live with the rest of her life. How could she be upset when he would flash a smile her way and his cute dimples would shine through every time, rather it be angelic, silly or light-hearted?

Now, she was left contemplating the mistake she had made and where it had left her afterwards. She had really messed things up and now, all she wanted was for him to flash his million-dollar smile, wrap his large arms around her and say everything was going to be alright. It always had been before now. She had managed to break an almost perfect, fairy-tale love with one night of bad judgment with the resident bad ass of the WWE.

I know there's something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes yeah
You've built a love but that love falls apart
Your little piece of heaven turns to dark

The tears fell from her eyes as she cradled her head in her knees and felt the lonely, sinking feel settle in the bit of her stomach. It was her mistake and now she would have to deal with the consequences of her actions.

Although John had told her the decision was hers, he still wanted nothing to do with her. He was to hurt to lay eyes on the woman he professed his love to. It was too painful to picture her with Randy after what had happened. He had planned on marrying her, and now, a marriage was the furthest thing from his mind.

He remembered when his ex-girlfriend of 7 years had cheated on him. Liz was everything to him and she simply wrote him off stating she couldn't deal with him being away from home for a long amount of time. He realized about 3 weeks later, after breaking up on somewhat good terms, it was all a lie. He picked up his hometown paper, The Boston Chronicle, and read about their dream wedding. Ever since then, he never pictured himself with any woman that would amount to her.

But, he did, and after 2 years of a wonderful, sometimes rocky, relationship, he had bought a ring, preparing himself to ask Mickie James to marry him. He had everything planned out, but when he was smacked in the face with the truth of her one-night stand with his so-called best friend, Randy Orton, and the advances Orton had put on her for many months, things soured quickly, resulting in their break-up.

He pulled the ring out of the little box he had been carrying around for the past few weeks. He looked at the inscription he had wrote on the inside of the white-gold band. My girl, my everything, it read. He smiled weakly, but just as quickly as he had managed to think of something good and positive pertaining Mickie and him, John's imagination ran wild as a picture of Randy popped into his mind.

The anger beginning to boil over as he placed the ring back into the insert and closed it shut. He returned it to his pocket and leaned forward in the chair. He just couldn't wrap his mind around why he would make advances towards the woman he had been dating. Randy knew how serious things had been getting for the two, why did he have to sleep with this one? His girl. Why would Mickie allow herself to fall into the trap of Randy? She had always been a smart girl and he knew she loved him. That wasn't a question, but sometimes love just wasn't enough, was it?

The questions continued to pour into his mind as he felt his eyes mist over and tears began falling down his long face. He had never even cried over Liz. He had been hurt over what had happened, but never seriously drowned his sorrows enough in tears; just an empty beer bottle or whatever liquor bottle he could get his hands on. Why was she affecting him like this?

It killed him to think of Mickie and Randy together, in ways he thought he would never have to share her with with any other human being on the planet. He knew their love was sacred and he really was blinded when he thought she took that seriously as well.

He never did give her enough time to explain, but was there really any explaining needed? He did tell her when her choice was made to let him know, but soon afterwards he told her he didn't want to look at her face again, because it was too painful. Too painful to be reminded of what had transpired between the two of them and to have it tarnished by one night with the Ladies Killer, Randy Orton.

As he stood up from the chair, he made his way into the kitchen, as he wiped the tears from his eyes. This was too much shit to deal with. Why couldn't he just forgive her? She meant the world to him and after what happened, she still did. Amazingly, the love he had for her before never lessened any after the fact. He just lost a lot of trust and his heart was shattered. He was left to pick the pieces up alone.

She should be here with me, fixing our relationship together. But, maybe it wasn't entirely her fault. Could I have pushed her over the edge, somehow? Could I have been the reason for the one night of passion she had with Randy?

His blood boiled even more thinking of their night together, with her in his arms, him taking advantage of her any way he wanted to. It almost made him sick to his stomach. He knew nothing serious was going to happen between the two of them. Randy was known to be like this with the entire womens' roster. Besides, he was still a newlywed himself. He had Samantha at home waiting for him, leaving her thinking she had a respectable, trust-worthing husband that came home every week.

Boy, wasn't she in for some shock. He had thought about calling her, but he realized it would only make the situation grow further than it needed to. He knew Randy's womanizing days would come to end sometime and he would eventually be caught, but his problem was with Mickie. He had to figure out a way to swallow the bitter pill he had been prescribed, take it like a man and somehow get the woman back that he loved more than anything.

He was scared about the future, not knowing what it would hold. It scared the shit out of him, but he had to admit it wouldn't be worth having if she wasn't in it, with him, by his side. It just wasn't a chance he could take. He realized that the minute he had met her and after all she had put them through, they had put each other through, he wasn't willing to give up that kind of love for nothing in this world.

Listen to your heart
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye

He realized with Mickie everything fell into place, everything was perfect, even if they did have their occasion fights, there problems, like every other normal couple on the face of Earth. He loved her and that was enough to wake up beside her every morning.

He knew they had a long talk to have and they weren't going to clear things up until things were out in the open, everything had been said and they could start healing, together. They had a lot to discuss, but he just couldn't suffer another long day and even longer, restless night without her.

A vision crossed across his mind, as he closed his eyes and smiled fondly. He missed her, more than he ever thought was possible. He knew it was her decision as well and he would fight for her until his last, dying breath, even though the roles should have been reversed. But, that's what he felt love was all about. True love is all about. It's work. It's hard, damn work, but it the end, if it's worth it, you realize it and he knew he would sacrifice anything to be with her again. As he opened his eyes, he felt the wetness slip down his cheeks even more.

He honestly felt as if he had cried his last tear, even though more would fall, but with every passing tear that poured from his soul, his heart, he longed for her that much more. He just hoped she felt the same way he did.

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
The precious moments are all lost in the tide yeah
They're swept away and nothing is what it seems
The feeling of belonging to your dreams

She could feel John pulling on her heart strings. She didn't know how, or why, but she could feel his pain. It broke her heart in pieces knowing he was left alone to deal with this alone, but she had to explain her side of things. She had to make him see that things would be fine. She had to make him understand that it was stupid and selfish doing what she did.

She never meant to hurt him, although going in and doing what she did, she knew deep down. She had thought about John the entire time she and Randy were together. She had even pictured his face a couple times. It was sick and demented, but at the end of the day, if she didn't she knew things would be truly over over with. Randy meant nothing to her. Not now not ever. He was a road block in the relationship of Mickie and John. The epic love story that would have a happy ending, come hell or high water. She wouldn't have it any other way.

She needed to see John. She needed to feel his embrace and she longed to hear his heart beating as he held her close. Simple things she missed the most with him, she realized now, she had taken them all for granted for 15 minutes of fun. 15 minutes she could have with the most passionate, loving and caring man she ever met.

Listen to your heart
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before... you tell him goodbye

She could feel him so close to her. Almost close enough that she smelled the familiar scent of cologne and after-shower soap on his body. She couldn't throw this all away and even though it might be too late for she and him, she knew she wouldn't be able to live without regret if she didn't tell him that. She had to get to him no matter if he would listen or not.

He would listen. She would force him to. That was something John was good at. Listening to her ramble on and on about something as little as make-up. He knew her inside and out, like clockwork, because he would listen to her for hours on end. He could tell her everything about herself, sometimes, things she didn't even know until he brought them up.

She grabbed her coat and through it over her bare shoulders. As she grabbed her car keys from the nearby stand, her home phone began ringing. She thought twice about ignoring it and just continuing out the door, but stopped, praying it might be John. She picked the receiver up and stalled for a minute before speaking.

"Hello?"

"It's good to hear you're voice." came the husky, familiar voice from the other end. She closed her eyes, thinking it was a dream at first, but the moment she realized it wasn't she felt the chills shot up and down her spine and the butterflies began dancing in the pit of her stomach.

And there are voices that want to be heard
So much to mention but you can't find the words
The scent of magic, the beauty that's been
When love was wilder than the wind

"Jo-John?"

"Yeah, it's me, baby. I think we need to talk. I just can't do this anymore." he said, almost breathless. His voice wavered ever so slightly, giving her the notion he had been crying as well. She felt the warm tears trickle down her cheek at the thought of him crying. Something she had done, nonetheless, which was just unforgivable for her. She knew from that moment on, she would live the rest of her lift trying to make that up to him.

"John, I can't believe you called. I was actually about to come see you." she said, almost in a hushed tone of voice.

"Don't leave. I'll be there in a minute." he said, before hanging up the phone. She looked at the receiver she know held in her hand and placed it slowly back on the base. She knew the time was coming and everything was going to be put out in the open. Either their relationship would be saved or John would walk away from her today, forever.

She took her coat off again, as a sudden wave of nerves hit her stomach. She felt like she might be sick on the spot, but she was able to calm herself down before she heard the loud knock on the front door. She stopped and stared at the doorway for a minute before reaching out with shaky hands to answer it, knowing who it was on the other side.

As soon as the door was swung up, she saw the man she had longed to be next to for the past couple of weeks. She felt the tears pouring from her eyes, as she stood back, letting him come in the house. He didn't budge for a few seconds, but instead keep his eyes locked and focused on her.

When he finally did move, his hand went up to her cheek were he wiped away her tears that were still dripping down her face. She smiled weakly, as he moved inside the threshold and returned her uneven smile.

Listen to your heart (take a listen to it)
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart (take a listen to it)
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before oh... before you tell him goodbye

"John -" she started before he cut her off by placing a finger to her lips. Her heart jumped the minute his warm hand touched her lips. She had waited for so long to feel his touch and even this simple little gesture he had just did was enough to open the flood gates once more to let more emotion pour through.

"Mickie, I know it was a mistake. I know all of this. We have a lot to talk about, but I want you to know one thing. I put my heart in this the first minute I laid eyes on you. I'm not pulling out of the game now, or ever. I love you." he said, bringing her into his arms. He felt her body trembling from her sobbing. He let his own tears falls then, knowing it was the last time they would ever have to do this. He knew in his heart, they would be okay. They would work on it.

"I'm so sorry." she said, through her tears. Her shoulders shook from the pain she was feeling. She was deeply sorry and her heart broke thinking she almost lost this man. "John, I love you so much."

"It's alright, baby." he managed to say, as he sniffled and wiped the tears from his eyes. He pulled away from her for a minute, still holding onto her shoulders and stared at her. He kissed the top of her forehead and brought her closer to him. "Promise me one thing?"

"Anything." she whispered.

"This never happens again, right?" he said, dreading have to ask the question but needing to hear the words from her own mouth.

"Never. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." she repeated continually as she snuggled into his chest deeper. He stroked the top of her head as he kissed her gently.

She smiled, and was able to calm down as she heard the familiar, rhythmic sound she loved so much. It was music to her ears and now, she could listen to this sound whenever she wanted to. She snuggled deeper, wanting to hear more, not being able to get enough of John's heart beating wildly with love and passion just for her.