The Great Escape

Conversations in Arkham…

SCHEME: DAY 1

The asylum was always quietest during the day, as if the insane were nocturnal, like the horrors of the night. George Craiton stood at the front door, the main guard of Arkham. He glanced at his watch; 6:52. Eight minutes. He thought to himself. Eight minutes, then this get creepy. Like clockwork, at seven o'clock every night, the Asylum drummed up the introduction for its nightly concerto. The constant din of conversation sparkled with the crazed laughter and shrieks of the insane.

Craiton stood with his hands behind his back, then he heard it. Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep! The seven beeps of his watch told him the time. As if on cue, he heard shuffling in various rooms. A laugh, a chortle, a bang of a head against a wall. It had begun. Close your eyes, old boy. Your shift will be over soon.

Up the stairs and down the hall were two rooms. Two heavily guarded rooms, with almost every security measure that one could think of. They housed three of Gotham's most dangerous criminals; Harvey Dent, Two-Face, and the Clown Prince of Crime. Every night Harvey would argue with Two-Face as the Joker told anecdotes that no one heard. But tonight was different. True, Dent and Two-Face were still having their nightly quarrel, but the Joker was singing a different tune.

"Dent? Dent…? Hey Two-Face, can Harvey come out to play?" The lunatic's voice sang through the bars of his solid steel door. "I have something I would love to talk to him about." He peered his beady eyes through the bars across the hall to the disfigured ex-DA.

Dent looked up from his bed and crossed to the bars. He looked at the madman, intrigued by the clown's disfigurement as much as his own. "You know, funny-boy, you look a lot different without the make-up." He chuckled at the sight. Two disfigured men having a conversation in the loony bin. Ahh… The times they were a' changing.

"Very funny, coin-flipper, but I make the jokes around here. Put Dent on the line, I gotsta talk to him about something pretty important." The Joker hid his face as much as he could, feeling naked without his true face.

"Oh, fine. No one interesting ever calls for me…" The dark, gravelly voice came in an almost whine. "Only boring old Harvey gets the fun."

"Oh, in due time, my friend. In due time." A cackle rang from the Joker's cage.

"What do you want, Joker?" A more subtle tone of voice came from Dent's cell, signaling that Dent was in control. For now.



"I had a crazy idea, Harvey. Now, I know, this isn't the first one, but this one's good."

"Get on with it, clown." A glare shot from Dent's gaze, accentuated by his half-burned face.

"Oh, fine. Spoil-sport. As much as I love your company, I need to get out of here. You see, I can't take much more of this cramped, musky prison." His hands trembled on the bars. "I need to get out… there… Out in the smog-filled air of the city." His eyes lit up at the sight his mind's eye projected.

Dent glared ever more, "Forget it, Joker. We're here because we deserve to be here. We've done horrible things to good people." He began to turn from the doorway.

"Well, Dent, if you want to be that quick about the decision…"

"LOOK AT ME!" Harvey Dent's voice bellowed from within the confines of his cage. "Why would I want to escape? No one out there will accept me like this! No one! And the only person who I might have had a shot with was the person you blew to hell! So forget it, nutcase. I'll live out my disfigured days here."

A soft humming crossed the hall from the Joker's cell. "See, that's what I wanted to talk to you about… They have this new technique they're developing for giving people a new face… A fresh start, if you will. Looks like you're the poster child, Dent." The Joker shoved his head against the bars, "What do you think? Hmm? A new face, right?" His eyes peered at Dent.

Harvey ran his hand along his burned skin. He stared a moment, then spoke, "No, Joker. No. I can't. Leave me out of your schemes." He turned and sat down on his bed, a tear forming at his right eye.

The Joker released a high-pitched sigh, "Ahh well. I didn't want to do it, but I guess I have no choice. Guess I'll have to talk to your alter ego tomorrow." A soft Thud resounded from the Joker's cell as he flopped onto his bed. "Nighty-night, Dent. Don't let the firebugs bite."

SCHEME: DAY 2

Craiton sighed as he walked down the halls of Arkham. "Why am I on Joker duty, now?" He asked through his radio to his supervisor.

A sigh crackled through his radio. "Because, George, the clown put Mike in the hospital yesterday. A spoon into the eye."

Jesus… "Fine. But I quit if I'm but here permanently." George hated the Joker. Actually, he hated everything about this job in general.



"Duly noted. Now get your ass up there." The radio snapped and popped as the line went dead.

George hiked up the stairs and crossed down the hall. He found the room of the clown and saw the chair next to it. He settled himself down and took out his book. He had just gotten into it when he heard a yelp from inside Dent's cage. He looked up to see Harvey clutching at the bars.

"Sir? Guard?" He trembled in his voice, but it didn't quite sound right.

George sighed, "What?"

Harvey Dent's eyes traced the guard's outline, "I just had a nightmare. Could I have a glass of water?"

Water? Jesus… all the way down to the kitchen… "Fine. But that's it for the night." He slammed his book down and hoisted up his belt, then walked to the stairs.

As soon as the guard was gone, a scarred face appeared at the bars, "Nice going, my half-hearted friend." The Joker chuckled.

"I do try to please, funny-boy." Dent's other persona cackled along with the clown.

"We don't have much time to discuss the particulars. All you need to know is that after the surgery, you give it your all. I'll be keeping my activities up to keep the focus off of you. Then, when the dust settles, you'll return the favor, right?" The joker grinned his extra-wide grin.

Dent's face leaned to face all of his left side to the maniac across the hall, "If it's your luck, I will." A soft metal ping sounded in the cell as a coin rose and fell in front of the disfigured face.

"Well, I guess that's all I can hope for, right?" A sound of boots echoed up the stairs as the guard walked to the cells.

He had two plastic cups of water in his hand, "I got one for each of you, that way I don't have to hear anymore bitching." He placed one on the chair, then grabbed his keys with his other hand, "Joker, you first. Back away from the door." As the door opened, the guard brandished his taser with one hand, then grabbed the water with the other.

"Oh, officer, how kind." The scarred smile seemed to go on forever. Craiton stepped into the cell to place the water on the ledge by the bed. In an instant, the Joker grabbed the taser out of George's arm and fried him in the back. The guard fell to his knees in a grimace of pain. "Sorry, buddy, no hard feeling." The Joker chuckled through his words as he wrapped his hands around the guards head, "Just the wrong place at the wrong time." And with a Crack the Joker spun George Craiton's head and snapped his neck like a twig.



SCHEME: DAY 3

Commissioner Gordon sat at his desk looking through miles of paperwork. He looked up as Detective Ramiraz walked in with a full report of the murder at Arkham, "Well, that's yet another victim for our clown boy. I guess this means solitary."

Gordon sighed, "Yeah. I guess. Well, with every bit of bad news some good news comes, too. Sounds like Dent is taking the offer for the facial reconstruction surgery." He leaned back in his chair.

Ramiraz sat in the chair across from him, "I guess that means he's getting better?"

Gordon smiled, "The doctors say that with the surgery, and if he keeps on his current course, he may be out and into rehabilitation within the year."

End