Dear Hoss,
To say that I was heart-broken when I got the news about your passing is totally inadequate. I felt as though I would never breathe again. You have been integral to my life despite the years of separation, and now more than ever I regret the loss of time that can never be regained. I have written these words to share with you, words that should have been said long ago, words that now I can only hope by the goodness of God you will hear.
Your love changed everything. Your hands once busy helping those who needed it most are now still, but your goodwill lives on in the hearts of many. Your gap-toothed grin and resounding laugh that brought so much joy are gone from this earth making the sky seem heavy and oppressive with your loss, and still that joy echoes in my memories of you. Your love showed me how to live and in essence showed me how to die - putting others before yourself - seeing the image of God in all mankind. Summers will no longer fly by and nights will seem an eternity for you understood the simple pleasure in the moments of this life, staring up into a starlit, black sky, sharing a meal with family, and drinking from a fresh mountain lake. I tremble at the mention of your name because you have been my strength in times of weakness in both body and mind. My world will never be the same.
Your love changed everything. Without your presence in my life, the days are long and I am moved to speak words of substance and meaning or say nothing at all. My pain is deep, deeper than ever before because my love for you goes on without destination. The love we shared, though brothers rarely speak of such things, was glorious, as grand and unchanging as the Sierra Nevadas and as gentle and easy as a quiet stream. The purity and sincerity of your love makes all other insufficient and moves me to shame. You accepted me for who I am, and yet by example encouraged me to be a better man. My world will never be the same.
Your love changed everything. You allowed me to go out into the world, make plans, and shape years without condemnation. You understood the longing in my heart to see and try new things and did not feel betrayed. You lived a gentle life of contentment. I have witnessed other loves for every now and then love bursts in and all wisdom disappears. It makes me a fool and leaves me to break all my own rules. But your love made me feel stable and secure, gave me a sense of home no matter where I roamed. That flame of love still burns brightly in my heart and will remain whether I live or die. Your love changed me forever, and I will never be the same.
In loving memory of you, dear brother,
Adam