Ok so I have been watching big brother too much! Let me know what you think, and whether I should bother to carry on with this story (I have never written more than a one shot before, so I don't know if I will be any good at it!)

Disclaimer: I neither own Skins nor Big Brother, all characters/ reality t.v. concepts belong to the respective parties!

Day 1 in the Big Skins house:

Cook enters the diary room

"Good evening James, how are you finding your first night in the house?"

"This is fooking mental. Cheers for all the fit ladies an' that big bro. So gonna get me a piece of that fine Naomi ass. And that Cassie's a bit of alright too aint she."

"Is there anyone you think you won't get along with James?"

"Call me Cook mate, everyone else does." Cook paused to think for a minute; "Hmmm well I think that Michelle's a bit up herself, thinks she's all that innit; 'n' I don't like the looks of that Tony guy, think I might have some competition if you know what I mean mate."

"Cook, would you like to win some alcohol for the house tonight?"

"Always. Let's get wasteeeeeeeed"

"Cook if you would like to win alcohol for the night you will have to go back into the house and kiss one boy and one girl on the lips for 30 seconds each. So that is a minutes worth of kissing in total. Do you understand your task Cook?"

"That don't even sound like a challenge big bro. Looking forward to it" Cook winked at the camera.

"The diary room is now open for you to return to the house Cook".

Cook jumped out of the chair, quickly checked his reflection in the mirror to the left, reworking his dirty blond hair to make it look like an intended mess, and strutted back into the living room deciding who his prey would be. Everybody had split off into groups and were chatting rather animatedly about the crowd outside and the reception they had recieved. Cook strode straight over to the group of girls deciding that the first one to look up would be locking lips with him. Rather unfortunately it happened to be Michelle. Fuck it, he thought, and leant in, dragging her head towards him and holding it in place whilst she tried relentlessly to protest. As he let go he caught the eye of the other girls and gave a cheeky wink.

"Ewww you sick little man, have you never heard of personal space, or manners. That was practically rape, you monster" Michelle shouted at an un-perplexed Cook.

"Hmmm Cookie Monster" he mused out loud "I like it".

Cook spotted the little curly haired guy standing off to the side by himself out of the corner of his eye. Perfect, he thought, JJ can be my second victim. He waltzed up, and without a second thought planted his lips against the other boys, counting in his head to 30. As he strode away back towards the diary room, he heard a crash. Looking over his shoulder he noticed that JJ was now laying passed out on the ground surrounded by the majority of the housemates, who all looked rather confused. Cook chuckled out loud and walked off with a bounce in his step to claim his prize, secretly impressed by the effect he had on the boy.