And 123
A Star Trek: Voyager Story By Lal Soong
"Good morning and welcome to another addition of a Briefing With Neelix," the image of Neelix said on a small viewscreen. "Today I would like to congratulate Lieutenants Baxter and Nicholetti on the birth of their third son. I know you guys were hoping for a daughter this time around, but maybe the fourth time's the charm in this case." The Talaxian paused for effect. "Since we now have fifteen children aboard Voyager, I believe it is prudent that we begin a formal educational system. Seven of the children are old enough to enter school, and I'd like to offer to become their teacher..."
"B'Elanna!" Tom said, turning away from the small viewscreen in the direction of the bedroom he shared with his wife. She came to the door, holding their one year old daughter, Delta, who was clad only in a diaper. "Neelix has this bright idea that he can teach our children." Curiously, B'Elanna approached her husband and listened to Neelix' briefing for a couple of minutes. The Talaxian was laying out his ideas on how and what to teach the children. B'Elanna handed their youngest daughter to Tom. "Let him," she said. "If he thinks he has the time. I certainly don't. I have to get ready for engineering duty." She walked away from them, heading back toward the bedroom. "You'll watch the kids for the next couple of hours, won't you?"
"Sure, why not? I wanted to finish a Briefing With Neelix anyway."
B'Elanna stuck her head back out the door. "Don't forget to feed them."
Tom held Delta up toward his face. "Would I forget to feed you?" he asked her and she giggled at the tone of his voice.
A couple minutes later, Sierra stepped out of the bedroom she shared with Delta and still appearing half asleep, sat down at the small table set next to the replicator. B'Elanna came back out of her room, now wearing her uniform and breezing by Sierra, ruffled her daughter's hair. Toward the door, she paused to order, "feed her."
"Yes, ma'am," Tom replied, walking over to the replicator to order enough for all of them. He had enough replicator rations saved up to pass on yesterday's leftovers. He set Delta on the floor. "Go wake up your brother."
Giggling, Delta ran into her big brother's room.
Tom turned his attention to his other daughter. "Sierra, what would you like for breakfast?" Sierra shrugged, not meeting his gaze. "How about scrambled, toast and a glass of orange juice."
"Ok," she said, wiping the sleepiness out of her eyes.
"Captain, you asked to see me," Neelix said as he stepped into her ready room. Although he addressed her in a questioning tone, he knew full well why she'd called him in here. The captain never missed an episode of his show.
She waved toward her sofa. " Neelix, let's have a seat." Once they were comfortable, she addressed the issue on her mind. " I watched your briefing this morning. Although I think what you're proposing is a noble idea, I do have some concerns."
"Captain, these children know me well. I've watched them grow up, changed their diapers, fed them their meals, and read them many a bedtime story. They're comfortable with me."
"I agree with what you're saying, but becoming their teacher entails a lot more than just babysitting them. When will you find the time to make out their lesson plans? How will you grade their work? Evaluate their progress? You've already taken on so many responsibilities. While you've done a remarkable job keeping this crew functional, I think even you have your limits."
Neelix did not want to admit he had any boundaries. That would mean letting the children down.
"Who could better serve as their teacher?" he challenged her.
"Neelix, I have no doubts that you have the ability to become a great teacher." Neelix studied the pained look on Janeway's face. She wanted to give in to him, didn't she? "When would you find the time to fit it in?"
"How about if I write up a proposal, explaining the type of school I have in mind. If you decide to enlist someone else as teacher, I will abide your orders."
Janeway nodded. "Fair enough."
Stepping out of his quarters to head for the bridge, Tom met up with Harry in the corridor. "Harry, did you see a Briefing With Neelix this morning?" he asked his friend.
Harry rolled his eyes and Tom knew he was about to get an earful. "Some parts three or four times," Harry replied. "Seven kept rewinding the recording, afraid she'd missed some pertinent detail. Now I think the education of our daughter is important too, but I'm not so sure Neelix is the one I want teaching her."
"Come on. It wouldn't be so bad. We've both let him babysit our children and they've turned out all right so far." Tom couldn't believe he needed to defend Neelix to Harry. The Talaxian was the most well-intentioned crew member aboard Voyager. It was because of Seven, of course. She'd put the idea inside Harry's head. "He can't be that terrible an influence on them."
"You obviously haven't tasted some of Naomi Wildman's cooking," Harry said and both men laughed.
They stepped onto the turbolift and Tom gave the command to take them to the bridge. "You know that's not what I meant," Tom said. "Jeremy and Sierra love Neelix. Delta..." He shrugged. "She's warming up to him. What about Annika? She must love her time in Neelix' daycare, being with the other children."
"She does. She's a very lively child." Harry smiled and Tom knew his friend was warming up to the idea.
"Why haven't you and Seven had another baby yet?" Tom asked just as the turbolift doors opened up on the bridge.
"I'll leave the large family up to you and B'Elanna, Tom. Annika's more than a handful for Seven and I." Harry wore a smirk as he made his way to his station.
"Hello, Susie," Neelix greeted as he entered sickbay, holding a small package. Lieutenant Nicholetti was cradling her infant son. "How is our newest member of the crew?"
Smiling down at the sleeping boy, Susan replied, "I think he's doing just fine."
"Have you chosen a name yet?" Holding out a finger, Neelix playfully slipped it through the newborn's tiny hand. "Hiya fella," he said, barely above a whisper.
"We've decided on Clarence after Walter's father." Noticing the package Neelix clutched to his chest, Susan pointed to it. "What's that?"
"Oh." Neelix felt his cheeks go flush as he handed the gift to the mother. "It's a little something for the baby. The computer databanks say it's customary to give gifts when the first baby arrives, but I think every child deserves a welcoming gift when they enter the new world...no matter how many big brothers he has."
"Neelix, I'm sure it's lovely. Thank you."
The Talaxian wanted to ask her to open the gift, but the Doctor chose that moment to step out of the office to check on his patients. After the EMH finished scanning both of them, he informed Susan, "All looks well. You can safely return to your quarters when Walter finishes his current shift. I'd like to see both of you again in one week for a check up."
"Thank you, Doctor," Susan barely managed to utter before he came around the biobed to speak with Neelix.
"I hear you're submitting a proposal to the captain to become the ship's schoolteacher."
"The children need a proper education," Neelix responded defensively. Why was the Doctor making a big deal about this? When we return to the Alpha Quadrant, they will want to start careers."
The newborn let out a weak cry. "Please, you're disturbing the baby," Susan said.
Placing a hand across the Talaxian's shoulder, the Doctor ushered Neelix across the room and in a low voice said, "So you feel that you're the most qualified to teach them? You've lived your entire life in the Delta Quadrant. How do you plan to teach them adequate social skills to help them succeed in the Alpha Quadrant?
"I believe some things like courtesy and respect are universally accepted traits." Neelix argued.
"How much can you really teach them?"
"I finished schooling on my homeworld, and I have lots of practical experience. I'm a well traveled man. I've been exposed to numerous cultures, from entering into trade negotiations to helping maintain peace between Voyager and alien races we encounter. I've learned many customs and understand the vast differences between belief systems. I would take that into consideration when teaching each of the children. I'm a quick study and I have a lot I can share with the children. I suppose you think you'd be better qualified."
"Why yes. My matrix consists of the combined knowledge of over three hundred Starfleet medical doctors. My vast databanks...and infallible memory, I might add...would aid me in enriching the children's studies and thus increase their future potential. And like yourself, I am well versed in a multitude of cultures from both the Alpha and the Delta Quadrants."
"While that is very impressive, I believe I can safely say not all the children will jump at the chance to begin their medical training."
"I wouldn't expect to find budding interns inside any of them. Of course, if they chose to follow in my footsteps..." He allowed himself a smug grin. "I'm merely suggesting that I could offer them a broader education. And since I require no sleep, I could devote more time to lesson planning."
"Unless there's a medical emergency." Neelix clenched his fists and slapped his thighs to prevent himself from punching the Doctor. It would do no good anyway, since the Doctor was a hologram and could not be harmed by physical abuse. "May the best man win!" he exclaimed and turning on his heals, left sickbay.
Neelix worked on his proposal for Janeway throughout the day. Stirring each of the lunch dishes in one hand while holding his data padd in the other, he utilized every possible moment. He paced in between needing to tend to each recipe. It helped him think. He would divide the children into three age groups. Naomi and Jeremy were the oldest and had already learned basic reading and math skills. They would benefit from a program that included science and history. He placed Andrew and Paige in the second group. Both at six, they were ready for reading and counting. Sierra, Annika and Nicholas made up the last group. They still needed to develop social skills and prepare for years of schooling. He was concerned about Sierra's shyness and although he didn't include it in his proposal, he felt that Seven smothered Annika too much. The poor girl needed to learn how to function independently of her mother. He would allow the three youngest school- age children more time to adjust and to finish tasks until they were ready for first-grade studies.
Paris and Kim were the first to arrive for lunch and while he dished out the green pasta, Neelix explained a little more about what he had in mind for their children's schooling. "Your girls are barely five-years old, so I thought it would be best to give them a chance to get used to the idea of going to school before I attempt to teach them to read. It'll help them develop their social skills. I read about an old Earth program known as 'beginnergarten' from the computer archives. Under this program, they would learn but at a pace they could handle easier. It would make the transition less stressful for them."
"Sounds good to me," Tom said as he brought his plate up to his nose. "I won't ask about the preparation that went into this."
Harry gave his friend a knowing look before turning back to Neelix. "Annika is ready for school, isn't she? I hope we're not trying to rush her. If you think she should wait six months...a year..."
"She needs a teacher who can dedicate his time to her education...all the children do. I only hope I'm the right one for the job. You don't think the Doctor would be a better choice, do you?"
"The Doc!" Tom exclaimed. "He'd bore the children into home sickness inside a week. Don't worry, Neelix. I'm sure everyone would rather have you teaching their children than the Doctor."
They stepped out of the way, as other crew members arrived for their lunches, and sat down to attempt to eat.
Naomi stepped up to the counter, followed by her mother. "Hello, Uncle Neelix," she said. "Mom tells me that you want to become our teacher."
Glancing at Samantha before responding to the oldest of his would-be pupils, Neelix sought out any sign of approval. Samantha smiled reassuringly at him and suddenly he missed their late-night talks over his latest coffee substitute more than he'd realized. Why had they stopped? Because Naomi grew too old to tuck in at night?
"Neelix?" Naomi said in a somewhat alarmed tone.
Forcing himself to look back at the child, he realized his glance at her mother had been more like a hard stare. Get control of yourself! he chastised himself. "Ah, yes Naomi. I would very much like to become your teacher. Would you like that?"
She shrugged. "I hadn't really thought about going to school before. I suppose it would be all right."
Neelix handed each of them a plate and served out their lunches, trying to behave naturally. Yet to himself, he admitted that Naomi's nonchalant attitude had flustered him. If the oldest among the children was not receptive to a formal school, how would the others react to the idea?
"Good luck, Neelix," Samantha said before escorting her daughter to an empty table in the center of the room.
Neelix continued to mentally work on his proposal as he served the pasta and other side dishes. Lunch ended in a blur as his mind was not in the mess hall.
Working on the proposal while washing the lunch dishes proved more difficult. Once, had had to dig his padd out of the soapy water and he appreciated their water-proof design. He outlined the first few lesson plans for each of the children and explained what he expected from each child during the coming months. Once he was satisfied, he left the mess hall to deliver the proposal to the captain. Hopefully, the Doctor hadn't already gotten to her.
"Captain," Seven of Nine said, entering Janeway's Ready Room, "permission to speak with you freely." She had not sounded the annunciator as she had learned long ago was proper etiquette. However, noticing the strained expression on her former Borg officer, Janeway didn't chastise her.
Setting down her coffee, Janeway gestured for Seven to sit beside her on the sofa. "What is it, Seven?" she asked. "You look troubled."
Seven took the offered spot next to the captain, relaxing comfortably into the cushion. For a long time after being unassimilated, she had insisted on always standing. Now, sitting had finally become a natural part of her routine. "It is Neelix' proposal to formally teach our children. He wishes to place my daughter in a special program known as beginnergarten. I do not understand. Annika is not a stupid child. She reached all the milestones well within the range considered normal. There is no reason for her to be treated as a special case."
"I'm sure you're right. Annika will do well in school. Neelix has all the children's best interest at heart, but I will speak with him about this special program."
"Thank you, captain."
The annunciator sounded and after Janeway invited him in, Neelix stepped inside, holding a data padd. "Sorry, I didn't realize ...I..." Neelix floundered.
"Do not concern yourself with the intrusion," Seven said as she stood. "I was finished."
Janeway watched as Seven walked passed Neelix and noticed how coolly the young mother eyed the Talaxian. If she appointed Neelix as schoolteacher, how much friction would rise among the crew over his teaching methods? Of course, Seven could be the exception and with time, could herself grow to accept Neelix as her daughter's teacher. I have to keep an open mind, Janeway reminded herself as she smiled at her chef, ambassador and would-be teacher.
"Neelix," she said, "did you finish the proposal already?"
Stepping toward her with the padd held out to her, Neelix replied, "I've been working on it all day."
"Word has gotten out about...some...of your proposal. Seven is concerned about a special program you're planning to implement for her daughter."
"Not just her daughter, Sierra and Nicholas as well. The three of them are a bit young and I feel they should be allowed to ease their way gradually into their school career. It is no reflection on their overall potential. Indeed, I firmly believe this program will increase their later successes." He paused to take a deep breath. "I want you to know how important becoming their schoolteacher is to me. I care very deeply for the children."
Janeway accepted the padd. "I will never question your loyalty to any member of this crew, above all the children."
"I sense a 'but', captain."
"But...this is a tremendous responsibility you wish to undertake. Perhaps if you were willing to delegate a portion of your other responsibilities, I'd feel better."
"Ah, I could ask for volunteers to help serve meals."
Janeway's serious expression lightened into a smile. "That's a start." She tapped the data padd. "I'll review this and let you know as soon as I decide."
"Thank you." Neelix headed toward the exit only to turn back as the door swished open. "Captain, has the Doctor contacted you about this?"
"No. Don't tell me he's your competition!" Visions of the Doctor having to stop class to perform emergency surgery ran through her head. The Doctor was not a logical choice for obvious reasons. "I need to have a talk with our resident EMH."
After Neelix left, Janeway read straight through his proposal. She then, carrying the data padd, stepped out onto the bridge to speak with her first officer.
Chakotay vacated her chair and took his own beside her. She handed the padd to him. "Give Neelix' proposal a quick read and tell me honestly what you think."
After about three minutes, he looked back at her and said, "He wants to place the three younger children in what amounts to a playschool. I don't suppose I'd be jumping to the wrong conclusion if I guessed that Seven's visit earlier had something to do with this."
"It did," she admitted. "I'm inclined to believe that Neelix' program proposal would be in the best interest of the children. What really worries me is whether or not Neelix will live up to the obligation."
"He's proven himself time and again." Studying the captain, Chakotay realized, "that's why you're concerned: you think the chef's finally bitten off more than he can chew."
"Am I being too much of a mother hen?"
"Cluck-cluck."
"If I may intervene," Tuvok said from behind them and they turned to face the tactical officer. "Perhaps, you should consider implementing Neelix' plan, but allowing another to instruct the children."
"You, Tuvok?" Janeway responded, trying not to grin at her most-serious officer.
Suddenly gaining an interest in the conversation, Paris swivelled in his seat at the helm to study Tuvok as he explained his logic.
"As a Vulcan, I require far less sleep than Mr. Neelix. My Vulcan discipline would also grant me the necessary patients to deal with school-age children."
"And when would you find time for your bridge duties?"
"I am not opposed to gamma shift bridge duty. Indeed, I find the customary quiet preferable."
"Looks like Neelix isn't the only one with a little competition, Harry," Tom said with a smirk, glancing at his friend. Everyone knew that Harry liked to brag about his command duties during the gamma shift.
Harry didn't seem to find the comment particularly funny, though the rest of the bridge crew did.
"Sorry, Tuvok," Janeway said once her laughter had subsided. "I've decided to give Neelix the chance to prove himself." She stood. "Commander, if you think you can handle the bridge crew. I think I'll go tell our new schoolteacher the good news."
"Neelix, need any help with anything?" Samantha Wildman asked as she approached the kitchen counter.
The Talaxian glanced up from the stew he was vigorously stirring to peer into her almond-shaped eyes. She was wearing her hair down and Neelix preferred it to the customary bun she sported while on duty. She looked younger, prettier this way, he thought.
"Sure," he replied, his voice groggy from his suddenly dry throat.
There was still a full hour before he would begin serving dinner and Neelix had all the hot dishes either baking or stewing. Only the leola root tossed salad was left to prepare. Yet, he could tell by Samantha's eagerness that she wished to speak with him. Undoubtedly, it had something to do with his proposal.
"Ah, I've been meaning to give this kitchen a thorough cleaning." He let out a nervous laugh. Why did he feel so uncomfortable around her? They'd been friends now for years. Certainly, she was not here to harangue him, even if she didn't approve of his idea to teach her daughter. Act normal, Neelix, he chastised himself. "If you don't mind, you can start emptying all the cupboards and wiping down the shelves."
Samantha came around to the other side of the counter and began methodically performing the task. Waiting for her to speak, Neelix nervously altered between wiping down the counters and stirring the stew. He'd always gotten along so well with Samantha, having formed a strong bond with her through her daughter. Although he often watched (and enjoyed) the younger kids, tucked them in and read them bedtime stories, while their parents were on duty, Neelix missed his nightly visits to the Wildman quarters. He hadn't just looked forward to wishing Naomi a good night. He had to admit that the frequent late-night chats with her mother had been a pleasure he dearly missed. Now, even as well as he'd come to know Samantha Wildman, he wondered whether she doubted he would make a competent teacher. He honestly didn't know.
"Neelix," she finally said, "I've been discussing the school with the other parents and I agreed to speak with you for the group."
She is going to reprehend me! He thought. They both paused their activities and turned toward one another, Samantha rising from a crouched position. "Ah, yeah," Neelix said, ringing his wash cloth.
"Oh, it's nothing bad. We wanted to let you know how much we appreciate your willingness to dedicate so much of your time to the children."
"I'm relieved to hear that." To emphasize this, he released his hold on the rag, tossing it on the counter. "It's just that...well...I'm not sure Seven is as confident in my abilities as you are. She paid the captain a visit today, undoubtedly to complain about the program I have planned for her daughter...and for Sierra and Nicholas, I'd like to add."
Samantha reached out a hand to gently squeeze Neelix' arm and a warm sensation crawled down his chest to his lower abdomen. What is happening here? Neelix tried to find his voice, to ask Samantha what she really wanted from him. She still had a husband back home in the Alpha Quadrant...but they'd been separated for so many years.
The captain walked through the door interrupting them, and with embarrassment, Neelix and Samantha turned away from one another. Still, it took some effort for the Talaxian to quiet his nether regions and acknowledge the captain's arrival...and he so wanted to hear from her. After a moment...that seemed so long to him, Neelix walked around the kitchen area. "Captain," he said. "Have you reached a decision?"
Smiling warmly at him, she replied, "yes, I have. Dust off the chalkboards, Mr. Neelix. I expect school to start one week from today at oh-nine hundred hours."
"Oh, that's wonderful," Samantha said, leaning across the counter. "I have to go tell Naomi, help her pick out some new outfits." She came around the counter and without pausing, walked toward the door. "Thanks for letting me help."
"Well," the captain said, looking as stunned as her new teacher. "I suppose I better leave you, too, so you can finalize your lesson plans. Good luck, Neelix." She squeezed him gently on the arm before turning on her heel and following Samantha's path.
As he watched the captain go, Neelix thought about how both women had touched him in the same way and yet Samantha's touch had affected him so very differently. Why am I allowing this to happen now? he berated himself. I'm supposed to be thinking of the children!
"Good morning, Voyager," Neelix said, peering into the camera. "Welcome to another segment of A Briefing With Neelix. As I'm sure all of you know, I will soon be teaching the older children in Holodeck 2. I know I will have to dedicate a great deal of my time and effort into the children, as they deserve, and because of that I've decided to stop recording this program five days a week." With a grin and a wave of his hand, he explained, "Don't worry, I'm not giving up entirely on the adults of Voyager. Your morale and general well being are still very important to me. I will continue to record new segments of A Briefing With Neelix in its new weekly format." "Now with that said, let's move on to today's briefing..."
Tom turned away from the small viewscreen to look at his wife, who was sitting in a rocker with Delta, trying to put the squirming child's shoes on. "Well, looks like it's official," he commented.
"Good," B'Elanna replied. "The kids can use more structure in their lives."
Sierra walked into the room carrying a data padd and a stick from one of Jeremy's games. Sitting down in the middle of the floor, she began tapping the stick against the padd...three taps pause...three taps pause...
Suddenly a creature about the size of a pig, but with long brown fur came barreling out of Jeremy's room followed by a winged creature that looked like a cross between a bird and a miniature pterodactyl. The bird-thing was attacking the other animal. Jeremy emerged from his room, shouting, "No, Draek!" as he tried to grab the creature, its tail feathers slipping through his fingers. Finally, nearly colliding into his sister, he caught Draek. His other pet bounded into the safety of his parents' room.
With a scowl, B'Elanna jumped out of her chair and handed Delta to Tom as she ran into their room to shoo the beast back out.
And all this time, Sierra continued tapping the stick against the data padd as though nothing were happening around her...three taps pause...three taps pause.
"Jeremy keep your pets under control from now on or..." Tom said as B'Elanna returned from their bedroom, the furry pig-like creature squirming in her arms.
"Tom, we can't just drop them off somewhere. Who would take care of them outside their natural environment?"
"Don't worry, this won't happen again," Jeremy said in a pleading tone. "I promise!" He paused until he noticed his parents' expressions softening. "I'll put Draek back in his cage and come back with Grunt's leash." He left, holding the winged-creature securely in his arms.
Three taps pause...three taps pause.
"Sierra please!" Tom snapped.
Their five-year old child dropped the stick and clutching her hands into a fist, let out a high- pitched scream. Then remaining on the floor, she picked up the stick and resumed her incessant tapping.
"Oh, they need structure, all right," Tom agreed, as he bent down to snatch the padd and stick from Sierra.
Delta giggled, being turned upside down. Sierra screamed. So did B'Elanna.
"I called this meeting to order so we can discuss our future on board this starship," nine-year old Naomi Wildman said to the group at lunchtime. She was the oldest among them, having been born three years before Jeremy Paris, though rapid aging had given him a mind and body three years older than his actual age. "I love Neelix, and I'm sure all of you do, too. He's been more than a babysitter to us; he's our friend and our protector. He's convinced Captain Janeway that we need a regular school and We should have something to say about how it's run ."
"I think it will be all right for Neelix to teach us," Jeremy responded. "I would like him to be our regular teacher." His rapid aging shortly after birth had been due to a temporal flux brought on by alien wishing stones. His parents were relieved that he had aged normally ever since.
"I want to give him a chance," Naomi said in agreement. "He's a wonderful storyteller. But how will he be as our teacher? Andrew?" She turned toward the boy across from Jeremy.
"Why not?" the six-year old son of Walter Baxter and Susan Nicholetti said. "He can read and write, so he can teach us that."
"He read me Cinderella," Paige, also six, spoke up. "I can sound out some of the words already."
"True. He already taught me how to read three years ago."
"Me too," Jeremy seconded. "He's good at babysitting me and my sister. All of us. I don't see why teaching us would be that much harder. And he's a whole lot less boring than the Doctor trying to teach us about mitosis." He didn't even pronounce the word correctly, though Naomi was the only one among them who realized it.
"Agreed," Naomi said, thinking back to some of her own experiences with the well-intentioned doctor.
Beside Jeremy, his sister Sierra, clutched the hand of Annika Kim. The two five-year old girls had been born only days apart. Sierra was as shy as her brother was outgoing. Neither offered anything to the conversation, despite prodding from the older children. Maybe Neelix can help them open up more, Naomi thought.
From across the mess hall, Neelix eyed the children curiously and approached Tom and B'Elanna's table. "What do you suppose they're saying about the idea of Teacher Neelix?"
"I wouldn't worry, Neelix," Tom responded. "The children love you. They're probably delighted they'll get to spend more time with you."
As B'Elanna cut Delta's foods into bite-sized pieces, she added to the conversation. "Just be patient with yourself and the children. They're at different levels of development. Naomi and Jeremy are ready for some science and history." She slid the plate over to her impatient daughter. "With the others, you'll probably want to stick with the basics, reading and math."
"And I've already covered that in my proposal to Captain Janeway."
"Oh, then I think you'll do just fine."
Neelix continued to scrutinize the group of seven children. "Do you think Nicholas Baxter is old enough to start school?"
"He's four and a half," Tom acknowledged. "I don't see why not. But go easy on him for a while."
Neelix nodded. "I better go over my lesson plans one more time. School starts tomorrow morning." He excused himself and returning to the kitchen, retrieved his lesson plans. Despite the captain's confidence in him, he wondered if he would be ready on time...if he would ever be ready.