Jeff looked over the vast amount of land in his brother's back yard. As he sipped the bitter liquid in his red plastic cup, he let the contents hit the back of his throat before it went down smoothly. He wiped the mist from his mouth and shook his head. A pool would be ideal in the yard. Seeing as the Carolina summers were always hot, it would almost be a necessity.
He enjoyed the quite time. It was his chance to think by himself and not meet everyone's expectation to be the life of the party or be wild and crazy. In reality, he liked the softer, more thoughtful side of himself, but everyone got such a kick out of his alter ego and his antics, that he couldn't refuse.
He could hear the music blaring loudly from inside, as the voices carried over the music and shouts and chants could be heard now. No doubt another shoot fight had ensued and this time, apparently inside Matt's house. He laughed to himself before turning around, almost bumping into his girlfriend, Beth.
"Hey. I've been looking for you everywhere. What are you doing out here?" she asked, touching his shoulder gently.
"Aw, I just wanted to be alone for a minute, that's all." he said, before slamming the rest of the liquid down his throat.
He and Beth had been high school sweethearts, ever since she moved to the small town of Cameron, North Carolina from California when they were in the 10th grade. They had been together ever since; almost 14 years before. It was sort of a safety blanket for him to be with the same person for so long. The truth was, he was afraid of change. A fact that not too many people knew about, only his closest of friends. He cared for Beth and loved her, but at times, the relationship was a little rocky. They had managed to get through the rocky periods but he never could muster up the courage, for some reason to pop the question to her.
It was just as well for her. She never pressured him about it. Sure there friends and family did. They had been together for so long, it might as well seem that way and it never really changed the fact. Jeff didn't need a piece of paper from the state of North Carolina saying he was faithful to her. He had been the entire time. He didn't need anyone telling him the way he felt.
"Sounds like another shoot fight." he said pointing to the house.
"You know how your brother's party's get. I think it's Shannon and Thomas again. You wanna go back inside?" she asked softly.
"In a minute. You go ahead. I'll catch up with you shortly." he replied, smiling at her before placing a soft kiss on her cheek.
She returned the small smile and turned, heading into the house. He watched her walk away before he took a deep breath in of the North Carolina air. Complacency had set into his life at this point and he wasn't even at a comfortable place anymore. It was just existence. A strange and odd feeling, but a feeling that had been his life for some time now. There seemed to be no changing now, he thought.
He fumbled with the bottle in his pocket before pulling it out and looking at it. The little green wonder inside was the only thing that brought him out of reality for a minute just so he could exist outside of the real world for a minute. He loved the feeling of not caring about anything for a few hours, but just to be. Be something he wasn't even sure of.
He popped the top from the bottle and emptied 3 into his palm, before placing the top back on the bottle and placing it into his pocket. He knew what he was about to do was wrong, but he didn't care anymore. He wanted the fears and anxieties to go away for a short period of time so he could enjoy himself once more.
He didn't worry about the dream job he had, the decent girlfriend he had forever, the wonderful family he had came to love, respect and admire. He didn't care about anything at that point in time as he slammed the pills into his mouth and swallowed them without thinking anymore.
He looked at the house once more as he exhaled a deep breath and headed inside for yet another Hardy Party.