Author's Note: Hello All! And Welcome to the Sequil of I Can Feel You, Jaded Love. If you couldn't tell from the Title, this is Jade's story! I hope that everyone will enjoy this as much, if not more than Ana's story! I am so glad that I finally got this one up, the majority of it was written on my recent road trip from North Carolina back home to the beautiful Pacific Northwest :D I missed everyone on here so much, and hope that you all love this first chapter. I will let you get on with it, love you :D As Always Read/Enjoy/Review!
P.S Of course, I am not Stephanie Meyer, therefore Edward and all of the other Twilight cohorts arent mine...sad pand :( But Jade, Ana, & Elijah are mine :D
Chapter 1: Blast From The Past
" I don't know why we all hang on to something we know we're better off letting go. It's like we're scared to lose what we really don't even have. Some of us say we'd rather have something than nothing at all, but the truth is….to have something half way is harder than having nothing at all." -Anonymous
November 27, 2009
A lot has changed in my life. I knew that things would change, I'm not naïve, but that doesn't mean that I'm keen on the changes that have taken place in the last fourteen months. That sounds harsh, let me rephrase that, I'm not happy about the changes that have happened with me. I am over the moon for Ana. My best friend, who is now a happy wife and mother, though I wasn't sure there for a minute. I honestly didn't think Jasper was ever going to come around. Luckily he proved me wrong. Actually, it's lucky for him that he proved me wrong. I didn't really want to do this whole journal thing, but I promised Ana that I would do it if she had to do it. it's been almost a year since the accident, the accident that almost killed Ana, Alice, and me. I have discovered that I changed more than I thought that I would have, more than I had wanted too. My source of discomfort begins and ends with Edward. I love him, and yet I don't want to. I don't want to give him the ability to have the hold over me that Ana has given to Jasper. I fight against it every single day, and every single day I find myself slipping further and further into the abyss known as love. I thought that I had covered my doubts and apprehension well, but then again, I should have known better, this is Edward after all.
I scribble the last few lines in my journal, and close it as I hear footsteps approaching the bedroom door. I know who it is, even before he peaks his head around the door frame to see if I'm awake. I place a sweet smile on my lips and turn to smile at the man who forcefully stole my heart.
" Good morning Edward," I say, shoving my journal into my bag along with my books and notes for today's classes.
" Morning," Edward says, pressing a kiss to my forehead, and I cant help but to tense up no matter how much I try and control the action, its involuntary.
" Jade," he says, looking at me with eyes that I know see far more than what any one person has the right to see.
" I have to go, I'm meeting Ana for breakfast," I say, picking up my bag, slinging it quickly over my shoulder. I walk from the house as quickly as I can without drawing attention to myself, and let out a sigh of relief when I am safely locked away in my car. I stare into nothing for a minute, getting lost in my own head as the rain starts to pour down all around me, and I sigh as I pull away, knowing that Edward is watching me, he always is.
" Jade," someone calls my name in the crowded café and I push through the throngs of hungry co-ed's, smiling when Ana waves excitedly to me. At once I feel completely at ease, happy to be around her, around the safety and comfort that she exudes. I'll admit that lately it's been hard, not having Ana around as much, but I don't hold it against her. She has her family now, and a beautiful family they make, Ana, Jasper, and baby Lilliana, who is holding strong and healthy since she made her debut eleven weeks early. At nearly seven months old, she is still on the small side, but healthy nonetheless.
" Where's Lily?" I ask, hugging my best friend close, before sitting down across from her.
" Jasper's parents took her for the day, apparently they claim they don't get to spoil their granddaughter enough," Ana says, smiling at the mere mention of her little girl.
" Yeah right, our little princess, is everything, but under spoiled," I say, sipping from my cup of coffee, falling easily into the conversation with Ana. All thoughts of discontentment and unadulterated fear about what is going on with Edward fading away.
" Well, I'm not going to complain, it gives me the chance to run by the studio before class, and make it to study group after class," she says, smiling and waving over my shoulder suddenly. I peer over my shoulder and see Alice and Rosalie walking towards us, and usually I would feel a little annoyed that people were interrupting my few hours alone with my best friend, but instead I feel rather happy to see two more of my best friends walking towards us. " I hope you don't mind that I invited them to join us, it just seems like I don't get to see all of my girls enough these days." I smile with understanding at Ana. Shaking my head to show that I don't mind the additions one bit.
" Hey guys," I say, scooting over so Rosalie can sit next to me, while Alice all but bounces into the seat next to Ana. I smile as conversations about Lily start up almost as soon as they are planted in their seats, and its only in this moment that I realize just how different all of us are. There's Ana, my best friend, my rock. Beautiful, although she doesn't ever see it, amazingly funny. Simply amazing. I turn my head, looking over at Alice, whose hazel eyes are lit with some sense of mischievousness that never really goes away. Behind the humor, and quick wit, there is a depth and strength that is breath taking. And finally, there's Rosalie, whose innate beauty is enough to make any man fall to his knees, weeping with gratitude to whatever higher power that is in charge. Yet she is so much more than a beautiful face, she is the core of what keeps our haphazard, more than often dysfunctional family together.
" Hello, earth to Jade," Alice says, snapping her fingers in front of my face, pulling me from my thoughts on just how wonderful they all are.
" What? Sorry, kind of spaced for a second," I say, smiling sheepishly at them.
" We could tell. We were asking you if you had plans this weekend? We have decided that it has been just far too long since we had a girls weekend. You know, girly movies, ice cream, gossip, what do you think?" she asks, and I frown slightly, wishing I could say yes, but I have lab work to catch up on if I want to keep getting a paycheck.
" I would love to partake in all of the girliness, you guys, and I wish that I could, but the lab," I say, stopping mid sentence when my friends groan loudly at me. " Fine, I will just work overtime tonight, then it's a girls weekend." We all cheer together, catching the awaiting waitress off guard, and the look of shock has us all laughing uncontrollably.
An hour and a half later I find myself alone again as I walk towards my first class of the day, cursing the rain as it falls relentlessly. I smile slightly at the stranger holding the door to the biology building open for me. Most of the time I'm aware of my surroundings, tripping over thin air and running into people is Ana's thing. That is, when my thoughts don't inadvertently wander off, and onto Edward. I jump when I collide with something, no more like someone. Okay, so maybe my first reaction would be to cuss out the stupid son of a, well anyways, but in this instance, I will admit it's my fault.
'Stupid Edward,' I murmur, thinking that it had been silent, but when the stranger who has bent down to help me pick up my things, clears his throat politely I roll my eyes, realizing that my silent grumblings about Edward, weren't so silent after all. I look up, perfectly prepared to apologize, and that's when I not only recognize the face staring at me, but a hot fist of disgust forms in my stomach.
" You have got to be fucking kidding me," I say, growling as I snatch my notebook out of the outstretched hand.
" Well, well, well," the voice says, and I can swear that my skin literally wants to crawl off of my body. " Always did have quiet the mouth on you."
" What in the name of all that is sacred are you doing here?" I demand, wishing with everything in me that I could take the notebook in my hand in and smack him, just once, upside his head. Then again that could be considered assault with a deadly weapon, so I take the easy, though less gratifying approach and instead of waiting for a reply I storm off in the direction of my lab, cursing this horrible, no good, very bad day.
I sit roughly in my chair, taking a page out of Ana's book, as I begin banging my head incessantly on the desk.
" Why, is, this, happening, to, me?" I groan, the sound of my head knocking against the wood of the desk echoing off of the plain walls of the lecture room.
" Excuse me, is this seat taken?" there it is again, that voice, the one that makes me want to curl up in the fetal position, and wish that I had never, ever seen the light of day.
" Yes, it is. Now go away. What are you doing in an advanced bio class anyways, you never were the brightest crayon in the box," I growl, wishing that I could just, kick him or something.
" Is that anyway to welcome a new student, J," he asks, and I swear my stomach pitches forward at the murmuring of what he used to call me.
" When the new student is a king douche bag, then yes it is, Nicholas," I say, finally admitting to myself, that this wasn't some sort of horrifying nightmare in witch I couldn't wake up from. No, instead, its my ex-boyfriend, in all of his, ingloriousness.
" There's that quick wit of yours," Nick says, shaking a finger at me as a sickening smile crosses his face, lighting up the eyes that I had once that I could look into for forever. Luckily for him the professor walks in before I can say anything else to him, and to my utter horror he takes the empty seat next to me, instead of scampering off like the rat that he is, to a different seat. I growl loudly, causing him to snicker, and its in this moment that I truly wish that physical violence was not frowned upon in society. I sink down into my seat, cursing the fact that a ghost from my past could ruin my day, no, ruin my life.
Apparently I was having one of those days that Murphy's Law is famous for. As if my questions about the validity of my feelings for Edward, and wishing that they weren't real, wasn't bad enough. My ex-boyfriend who I haven't seen in three long and heavenly years, suddenly shows up in MY state, in MY bio lab, and what's worse, since I have to just be a little know-it-all, the professor assigned me to catch Nick up on what he's missed so far this semester. I'd have better luck explaining algebraic expressions to a two year old, then explaining any form of biology to him. I glance at the clock, happy to see that it's almost time for me to go home for the night. I finish putting in my final number's for the night, when a voice comes from behind me, causing me to turn ready to swing. I laugh half heartedly when I see that it's my boss, Jasper and Rosalie's father, Matthew.
" Sorry Mr. Hale," I say, unclenching my fist, sliding my hands behind my back.
" No need for apologies, my wife always tells me that I need to stop around like an elephant, she says I'm too sneaky," Matthew says, and I laugh fully at that. Only because I can hear Veronica saying that very thing to him in my head.
" That might be a good idea if you don't want to find yourself with a fat lip. Most women's reaction to someone catching them off guard is to scream, me I have a tendency to swing," I say, straightening up my work area.
" Good to know. Listen I wanted to talk to you," he says, his voice suddenly serious, all signs of our easy conversation gone from his voice.
' Oh great, let me guess, I'm going to get fired now too aren't I?' I think to myself, sadly, I wouldn't be surprised seeing as how I'm just having one of those days.
" Okay," I say, fully prepared to get the axe.
" You know the holidays are coming up quickly, and Carlisle and Esme can't get the kind of time off of work to come celebrate down here, so they asked me if I could talk to you, see if you guys would be up to going up to Forks again this year," he says, his voice hopeful but understanding.
" Oh, wow, Matthew, I don't know. I know that Alice and myself are okay enough for it, but I don't know about Ana, especially know that there is Lily to think about," I say, and he nods his head, understanding fully. Since the accident, we have only ever tried to venture back to Forks once, just shortly after Lily was released from the hospital, we made it a good part of the way, and then Ana had a panic attack, refusing to go any further.
" Do you think, perhaps you could talk to Ana?" he asks, and I groan inwardly, but with his innate parental way he knew what I was feeling. " I wouldn't ask, it's just, tradition, and if it doesn't happen, this will be the first time since the kids were all very young that they didn't spend Christmas and New Years together in Forks."
" I will try my best, but I'm not going to force Ana to do it, if she doesn't feel safe, just her going, she really wont feel safe taking Lily. But I will talk to her," I say, walking towards the door of the lab.
" Thank you Jade, I'll give Lily a kiss for you," he says, and I smile, suddenly feeling uplifted remembering that tonight kicks off the all girls weekend, and I walk from the building a bounce in my step, looking forward to some good old girl time.
The scene I find when I get home, is beyond comical. Rosalie and Alice stand shoulder to shoulder trying to pull Emmett out of a chair, a look of amusement playing in his eyes. I giggle slightly from the door way, getting Alice and Rosalie's attention, huge smiles playing on their faces.
" Ooo, reinforcement," Alice says, scooting over say that I can come and help in the attempt to move Emmett.
" You guys really think that Jade is going to be able to get me out of this chair? Puh-lease," Emmett says, a small lisp forming on the last word, as he rolls his eyes. I cant help but laugh, Emmett always seems to make me laugh.
" You underestimate the power that females possess," Rosalie says, and to that, Emmett's answer is a huge rolling laughter. It isn't long before Ana and Jasper arrive, having their own debate.
" I just don't get it Ana, this is our first real weekend without Lily, why cant we just spend it, alone, at our place?" Jasper asks, dropping Ana's pink duffel bag unceremoniously on the living room floor.
" Because I need some girl time," Ana says, smiling at him brightly.
" That makes no sense, you are a girl, how much more girl time do you need?" he asks, and in response Ana nudges him sharply with her elbow, before turning to look at where Rosalie, Alice, and I stand, still fighting the good fight to get Emmett to move out of the chair, and out of the house.
" What's this? Is Emmy not moving? That's too bad, and to think I was going to give you something super spectacular for being a good sport about giving us girls the house for the weekend," Ana, says, walking towards him, holding up a brown paper bag. I see the change in Emmett immediately, the gleam in his eyes, and smile knowing that if anyone was going to win this battle for us it was going to be Ana.
" Would that be a bag full of Ana-banana's super spectacular chocolate chip cookies?" he asks, leaning forward to look at the paper bag that Ana is holding open in front of him.
" Maybe, but in order to find out, you need to get up and leave with Jasper, right now," Ana says, and before the sentence is even finished Emmett shoots out of the chair, snatching the paper bag and Jasper by the collar of his shirt in one swoop, shouting good byes as they walk out of the front door. We stand dumbfounded for a moment, by just how fast Emmett can move when he really wants too, which is mostly when food is involved. Laughter ripples through the air easily, as we all collapse to the floor.
A few hours later I find myself surrounded by my best friends, laughing as we eat our own special sundaes.
" Seriously you guys, we have to do this more often," Ana says, spooning a bite from my sundae, sighing as she eats it.
" I know. It seems like things are so crazy lately, between you and Jasper busy with the baby, Em and Rose busy, well busy getting busy," Alice says, snorting with laughter, dunking her head quickly from the cherry that flies from Rosalie, laughing the whole time. " Seriously, we are just all so busy, we need to make more time for each other."
" Speaking about getting busy, what's going on with you and Elijah, Alice?" Ana asks, and the flush that creeps along Alice's cheeks tells all of us that something is definitely going on.
" Ooo this is going to be good, spill it," I say, leaning forward, laughing as Alice buries her face in her pillow.
" There is nothing going on, just a little friendly flirting," Alice says, her voice strained with embarrassment.
" Yeah, that's why I've seen you coming out of his apartment in the early morning hours for almost a week now," Ana says, laughing when Alice throws a pillow forcefully at her from across the room.
" Oh, its so on now," Ana says, jumping up from her seat, battering anyone in her way with the pillow in her hand, her laughter lifting the spirit of the room to an all new level.
I glance at the clock for the millionth time, sighing as I roll over, poking Ana lightly.
" You awake?" I ask, and I listen as she rolls over to look at me.
" Yeah. Cant stop thinking about Lily, what are you doing awake?" Ana asks, propping herself up on one elbow.
" Cant sleep. There's something I wanted to talk to you about," I say, and Ana being her all knowing self sits up, pulling her knees to her chest, looking at me closely. " What's going on Jade?" she asks, worry filling her voice. I sit up slowly, crossing my legs, leaning back against the couch.
" You know, I have been having a really hard time dealing with things, where Edward is concerned, well things got a whole lot more complicated yesterday," I whisper, not wanting to wake anyone else.
" How so? What did you cheat on him or something? Please tell me you didn't Jade," she says, her voice carrying a slight undertone of humor.
" Dear God no. Nick is in town," I say, and I watch as her eyes widen, her usual shining green eyes glinting with fury.
" Nick, Nick. As in ex-boyfriend, or should I say ex-fiancé Nick?" she asks, and I nod, burying my head in my hands. " What in the hell is he doing here?"
" Going to school. He's in my bio lab," I say, peeking at her through my fingers.
" Oh shit," she says, and I just nod along with her. What more could be said, the one guy, other than Edward, who I had ever let in, the one guy who destroyed me, has just waltzed back into my life, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.