A/N: Deathly Hallows spoilers This is a Remus/Sirius story though it's minor. This takes place directly after Remus... sobs brokenly ... dies...
Journey to the Afterlife
It had been an odd sensation really. Like he was first full to the point of bursting and then, almost instantly there was release. An overwhelming, flood-like calm and the feeling of peace that Remus John Lupin never expected to feel when he died. He'd always expected it to be slow, and painful. Then again, he had expected to die one unfortunate night under the nurturing light of mother moon which had been a few days previous.
Maybe that was why Nymphadora's warning didn't register with him until it was too late.
Maybe that was why his warning never passed his lips.
Her eyes had been an intriguing slate blue that day to signify her depression at having to leave her only child alone to go and fight a war that she may not return from. They looked startlingly like her mother's that day. Like the Black eyes, as they lost their spark, their light. Their life.
In that moment, Remus knew that he would never cross paths with Nymphadora Tonks again.
Death wasn't instantaneous, just quick. It gave Remus enough time for his eyes to be grazed by tears for the boy he wouldn't get to see again.
Everything went white and there was no longer Tonks. No more battle. No more frightened children looking up to you like you know that they're going to survive all this and that you're going to make sure they see their mommy and daddy again.
And for that moment, Remus knew that all was well.
Nothing hurt, aches and pains that had plagued him for years were no longer a bother and the white atmosphere started to bleed away, all of which made Remus realise that none of this was fazing him, and that didn't bother him either. Remus thought it made perfect sense, therefore, that he was standing in the middle of the boys Quidditch changing rooms when his vision was no longer tampered with.
The banners were all in place as he remembered them from his school days when he would come in and congratulate James and Sirius on a game well played. The benches still sagged in the middle from years of use and there was still chewing gum under them which Remus could plainly see from his prostrate position on the floor.
Remus sat up and took in the room more clearly feeling vaguely disappointed with himself. He had died and all his damaged brain could come up with was an empty Quidditch changing room that didn't even smell that pleasant? How very wonderful.
"Moony! Hurry up and get off the floor so we can get out of here! It's freezing." Remus zipped around to his hands and knees as the familiar haunting voice whined. He had never seen the boy before him look so beautiful, even in life. With eyes ablaze with mischief long gone and his long black hair just past his shoulder blades as he rubbed his arms, fighting off the cold. "Merlin Remus," Sirius smirked knowingly, "You look like you've seen my ghost."
Remus was up off the floor and wrapping his arms around Sirius before the other man's laughter could reverberate of the tiled walls, squeezing him as tight as he could. Sirius' smirk faded to a sad smile as Remus cried into his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have- I should have been faster. I should have been smarter- I shouldn't have let her-"
Large, confident hands ran down his back, holding his closer. "You were perfect Moony." Sirius whispered, "You saved Harry. You saved Tonks." He whispered reassurance.
"I didn't say goodbye." Remus croaked, afraid to let go without saying his piece in case with was an illusion of his dying brain. "I didn't tell you I-I loved you before you fell."
Sirius pulled a reluctant werewolf away from him, smiling and tilting his head to the side like a curious animal. "Of course you did." He said, "If I remember correctly you told me so well that Molly came in to tell us to keep it down before-"
The werewolf couldn't help it, not that he really tried; he punched Sirius in the shoulder as the Animagus howl with laughter at the indignant expression on Lupin's face. "How dare you mock my grief?" Remus asked rhetorically, backing away from the visage of his best friend.
Sirius grabbed his hand before he could get too far away and said repentantly, "I'm sorry, but I've been dead for a while now and the other corpses just haven't got the life in them anymore." Remus glared at him and Sirius hurried on, "Don't worry yourself love, I know. Just like you did."
Remus drank in the sight before him, feeling his eyes prickle again, "You look different. Better." He laughed softly, fingering soft black hair no longer ravaged by years of mistreatment in Azkaban. "Vain, even in death."
Sirius shrugged, lifting the still captive hand to the owner's face, running it along his cheek. "I'm not the only one. It's like the wolf never got you." And it was true, Remus could feel no lines or faint scars marring his face and he smiled. "Still as beautiful as the day I meet you, though."
Remus smiled shyly at Sirius, his cheek taking on a pink haze. "Now I know I'm dreaming."
The dark haired man started pulling Remus towards the exit, "Not dreaming," He reassured. "Just not awake."
This was when Remus had expected the consciousness to end with a faded and slightly peculiar fade into the sunset montage. So when they walked out of the changing rooms and into a forest, Remus was quite confused.
Sirius looked at him gravely, gripping his hand tighter. "Remus Lupin. This is your life."
With horrifying familiarity Remus realised exactly where they were and tried to pull back but was stopped by Sirius. "Why?" He murmured, trying not to look back out at the forest.
"You're not ready yet." Sirius said, "You'll understand at the end."
Remus jerked as he heard a wolf howl in the darkness and saw himself stumble into view, running from the shadows that had rightfully frightened him in his youth. "Why?"
Sirius' smile was commiserating. "Be glad that it's not James." He said instead of an answer. "No sympathy at all, the git."
Remus turned back to the child stumbling through the undergrowth, trying to hide from the monster. Shuddering from terror the boy climbed under a bush and Remus could remember exactly what he'd been thinking at the time. Mommy hadn't locked the door, meant it was safe to go outside, why hadn't she locked the door? Why did she not told me?
He could hear his father's calling, telling him to follow his voice but young Remus couldn't move, wouldn't move. What if the monster found him? Sirius wrapped his arm around older Remus and the man watched in horror as the Werewolf, Greyback, crept up behind the unsuspecting child.
He wanted to scream. At himself, the werewolf, his father. Help him, leave him, save him. Save me. However, logically, Remus knew that there was nothing he could do as the child was savaged by the wolf.
So he watched; he owed himself that. He watched as the life altering bite was delivered to his neck and then as his father appeared, shooting the werewolf with his muggle rifle. The animal snared in pain before hobbling off, back to its den within the forest.
John Lupin looked at his wailing boy in horror as his wound bleed profusely, he bent down to gather him to his chest but his wife interrupted. "John, no! He's-he's one of them now." She looked vaguely green around the gills.
John stared defiantly back at her, "He's my son." He said, scooping up the injured boy, his rifle slung over his shoulder, barging past his wife.
Remus watched, almost coldly, his mother's first rejection of him. The young witch had not signed on to be the mother of a werewolf, not that many did. He had been surprised to see his father pick him up, he had not remembered anything after the bite and the man had died in a car accident less than a year later. Remus dislodged himself from his lover quickly, "Why do I have to see this?" He asked angry as the view started to shift.
Sirius gave a grim smile that was reminiscent of his last few months in Grimmauld Place, "You'll see."
Even after all these years the layout of Professor Dumbledore's office was unforgettable and Remus liked to think that he wasn't the only on who thought so, though he couldn't really ask Sirius. The boy had practically lived there from fourth year onwards due to his misdeeds.
Remus had been in the office all of six times in his life, which was more than most but less than some. He was currently sitting on one side of the imposing desk, his second hand robes swamping his tiny frame as the Headmaster spoke to him about the precautions that would be made so he could attend school the following year. This was the first time he had ever even meet the Headmaster and Remus was understandably terrified of the man who was more folk legend than a real person in the wizarding world these days.
As his mind drifted away Remus thought of the following times he'd been in the office. Following the horrible prank Sirius had played on Snape that still cut the sable haired man deeply to think about… Dumbledore giving him a final rousing speech before he was thrown to the wolves, figuratively speaking… When he was offered a place in the Order… When he'd been offered a job in his second home… Remus swallowed harshly, when he had handed in his resignation from the only job he'd ever truly enjoyed…
"Now, Mr Lupin." Dumbledore's stern voice interrupted the older version's thoughts as he was brought back to the present… past… whatever… "You must understand that you are different from the other students."
Young Lupin's cheeks flushed with shame as he ducked his head, hiding large amber eyes. "I know, Mr Headmaster Dumbledore, Sir." He muttered, waiting for the inevitable barrage of adjectives that normally followed that like how much of a freak he is, how he should have been left to the monsters…
"No, I don't think you do, Mr Lupin." Sirius' cheek twitched, unaware of what was going to happen next, but just about ready to tear Dumbledore a new one for causing Remus such disturbance. The sable haired man ignored him in favour of watching himself, knowing that he was tense, eyes now squeezed shut against the harmful words the Headmaster would surely throw at him, ready to take anything he said with silent understanding. "You are a very special young man."
It would have been comically to see the same expression on a ten year old and on his lover's face simultaneously if the forgotten emotions of this exchange hadn't just hit Remus like a freight train at the old man's words.
Young Remus' head snapped up, sure that the man wasn't talking to him; he avoided looking around the room for another young man who would be called special. "Now, I know," Dumbledore's eyes twinkled merrily as he came around the desk to perch on its edge looking down his crooked nose at Remus. "That adolescence is not a very good time to be different from your peers, and I know that it may be awkward, but I fully intend to place you in the dorms of your house. Should there be any problems," Remus ducked his head again, knowing exactly what 'problems' could occur, "Then I shall remove you from your dorm and lessons," Dumbledore placed a comforting hand on the boy's shoulder until he looked up, "And teach you myself."
Sirius' shock was enough reason for Lupin to have had to relive one of the most nerve raking moments of his life. The scenery started to change and now Remus could only compare it to the likeness of memories changing in a pensive, as Sirius decided to shout, "Merlin's balls! The old man had some proper gonads."
Remus was starting to start making connection with all the memories they were following as he recognised this one, they were all ones that had irrevocably changed his life in one way or another. The bite, meeting the headmaster and now…
Young Remus was shoved harshly out of the way though he was sure that the girl who had just left had not even seen him, so it wasn't intentional. The boy behind her was a very dour looking young man and sneered at Lupin for no reason and Remus took a disliking to him. Remus had done nothing to him and the boy didn't even know about the…
"Oi! Kid." Remus' head darted around to see the smiling faces of what were to become the Banes of Gryffindor and Hogwarts until late into second year when the Marauders were formed. James jerked his head to the luggage he was dragging behind him, "Pull up a seat, as you can see we've just had some vacancies."
With the way the other two had left, Remus wasn't sure he really wanted to be trapped in close quarters with the two manically grinning boys. However, he'd been shunted out of his carriage at the very end of the train and had been wondering for the last half hour, so he supposed it wouldn't matter if he sat with these boys just for the train ride, would it?
Remus sat as far from the other two as he could once he had stowed away his trunk, the boys watched him expectantly but when he wasn't forthcoming James finally held out his hand. "The name's James Potter." He said with a debonair smile that Remus instinctively knew meant trouble. "I'm from Godric's Hallow." He said, obviously trying to coax Remus into conversation.
Remus quickly shook the proffered hand and said, "I'm Remus Lupin, from near Fredrick Street, in Blackburn." He curled back into himself and was silence again for a minute.
James glared at the boy lounging across from him, "Dimwit over there won't tell me his name." He said, giving the stranger a kick to the shins to show his irritation.
Remus' brow crinkled in confusion as he looked at the nonchalant boy, "Why not?"
For the first time in Remus' presence the boy smiled, but it wasn't the fun loving smile he would come to love but a cold, calculating smirk that would rarely grace his face again, "'Cause he's got three guesses to get it right, or I get his first born."
"Oh." Was all Remus could say in response.
James huffed, "Yeah, I've already had one guess." James turned wide imploring eyes on him. "Help a mate out, Lupin."
His amber gaze shifted between the boys as he responded carefully, "I can't. For one, I don't want to give him my first born." Remus gulped nervously under the annoyed gaze of the scruffy haired boy, "And it would be cheating because I already know his name." He squeaked in a rush and both boys looked to him in shock.
"How do you know?" The lounging boy asked, forgetting his aloof stance for a moment.
Remus swallowed around the lump in his throat, "I-I saw you, and your mother, back on the, the platform."
Shadows overcast Sirius face for a moment, before they cleared to show confusion. "So you know who I am, what I am. And you probably know what my family think you are." He said as James looked on in confusion, "And still you sat here with me." The boy gave him an approving look as he seemed to consider the prospect. "Very brave."
Remus knew all about the boy's family, nearly all wizards and witches knew about the Blacks. He nodded warily; the boy gave him a smile of pure mischief as he stuck out his hand for Remus to shake. "Sirius Orion Black of Grimmauld Place." There was an exhilarating danger in the boys face as he introduced himself and James looked on in shock, understanding what that meant, "I think we're gonna have loads of fun." He grinned wolfishly at his two new friends, again sprawling on the opposite side of the compartment.
"Merlin, I was such an arrogant git." Sirius sighed raking a hand through his hair, which was back to the healthy locks it had been before Azkaban, as he watched himself intimidate Remus to the point of breaking out in a sweat.
The image started to fade and Remus snorted, "'Was'?"
Remus stood in his classroom, no not his. Just the Defence Against the Dark Arts Classroom. The Gryffindors had this class alone as the Slytherins had mysteriously came down with Dragon Pox a week ago, yes, very mysterious business, the whole thing.
The teacher, Professor Geckleback, seemed to have taken a liking to Remus this year; well that's what all the other students thought. In actual fact, Remus knew that the Professor was just fascinated to have one of the creatures that he had taught about for years, actually be sitting in his classroom listening to his lectures like any other student.
Remus supposed he should have been grateful that the man only sent pitying looks at him whenever they had to talk about dark creatures; it wasn't as bad as some teachers' reactions. The Care of Magical Creatures Professor had point blank banned him from even signing up for the course at the beginning of Third Year when the options had been available, it didn't bare repeating why the Professor had told him not to join the course, fortunately his friends had never found out.
In this class, there wasn't a seating plan but the Marauders had been separated for the safety of the class, though Remus thought it was so the Professor could have his specimen, closer to him as James, Peter and Sirius were all allowed to sit together on the row behind him.
Older Remus and Sirius stood at the back of the class. Remus watching on in morbid scrutiny of the situation as Sirius looked on in smug satisfaction.
"Today class," The stout man said, bumping a heavy tome on the front desk, scratching his moustache. "As the Slytherins are out." Young Remus heard two of the Marauders cheer quietly behind him, "I thought we'd start a discussion on a rather controversial topic." He looked at the half filled class gravely. "Werewolves."
All the colour drained from young Remus' face as he heard the Professor begin his speech and he knew his time was up. It was one thing when his friends didn't know what to look for…
The sable haired boy really didn't need to listen to the lecture on werewolves and the Registry at the ministry and the laws in place to prevent his kind from leading everyday lives for the twenty seven nights a month that they were just like everybody else.
Remus started to draw a map of Hogwarts, all the rooms he knew and the passages he could think of which would left him make the best escape route when his friends sent the lynch mob after him. He drew, very crudely, every nook and cranny he could think of to hide in and then went the extra step to put in where people would most likely be when he went to Gryffindor to pack. Remus could almost feel when each of his friends realised what was going on. First it was Sirius, his heated gaze didn't leave Remus for the rest of the lesson and the boy felt his stomach roll as he felt James' gaze flit to him and then away, to anything, anything, but the werewolf in front on him. Finally he could smell the nervous anxiety rolling of Peter in waves.
With each new sensation, Remus drew with more vigour hoping beyond reason that the map would somehow draw him into its inky confines and save him from the inevitable confrontation.
Young Remus was so engrossed in his drawing that he completely missed the end of the lecture and the other students piling out, only coming back to reality when he heard James say, "Can we borrow your class for break, Professor?" He asked politely, James was never polite. He was kind and charming and charismatic to get what he wanted, he was never polite.
Remus sent alarmed looks to the Professor that clearly read 'No way in Hell!' but the man ignored him completely after a wary glance between the boys, telling them he would be in his office if they need him. All Remus needed was a rope and a coffin, much obliged.
Belatedly, Remus looked towards the door to the classroom as the office door snicked closed and saw that James and Sirius were very obviously blocking the exit, with Peter standing off to the side nervously. After today's lecture all of the boys were well aware that should Remus need or want to get past them and out of this room, he could do so easily. However, Remus wasn't really thinking straight at the moment.
He quickly gathered his books into his bag, which he then clutched to his chest like a shield, his arms and legs quivering, though the other boys couldn't really see unless they looked really closely. Which they were.
The silence was thick and even older Remus watched in apprehension, although he knew how this panned out.
Young Remus didn't try to speak, or say anything to defend himself and this seemed to infuriate an already annoyed Sirius still further. "Well?" He asked, breathing heavily though his nose. "What have you got to say for yourself? Speak up, or I might miss the part where you told us you're a werewolf."
Remus blushed furiously in humiliation as he hugged his bag to himself. Still not saying anything. James placed a restraining hand on his arm, "Sirius, ease off a bit."
"He lied to us, James!" Sirius snarled, shrugging off his friends arm. Pointing an accusing finger at Remus, "You lied to us!"
Valiantly Peter peeled himself off the sidelines and came to Remus' defence. "Well, you can't really blame-"
Sirius's fury turned now to Pettigrew whose beady eyes screwed tightly shut. "We told him everything!" He said angrily, and then turned back to Lupin, "About my family. About your parents, James. Peter, about your warts on your-"
James pulled Sirius around so he was focused solely on him, "This isn't a wart, Sirius!" He gave him a vigorous shake, for good measure. "This isn't about parents who get ill or a family who are too prejudice to love their own son properly." The scruffy haired boy turned back to Remus whose quivering was more pronounced than ever, "This is about a disease that kills people, and ruins their lives. This is a disease that hinders peoples' relationships, turning family on one another and friends against each other." His words were solemn and his face was grave. "Isn't it Remus?"
The sable haired boy could do nothing but nodded, James' words had touched him deeply.
"And you can't say you didn't keep things from us," James accused pointedly, "You wouldn't even tell me your name on the train because you were worried that we wouldn't want to know you if we knew you were a Black. I'd probably still be trying to guess you name!"
Remus chanced a look up and saw the other boys all looking at him; there was no longer anger on Sirius' face but realisation and a profound depth that most wouldn't associate with the boy. The atmosphere was still tense as Sirius marched forward his hand outstretched. "Sirius Orion Black of Grimmauld Place and the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black, Pureblood Aristocrat."
Cautiously, not sure if the attempt at a new start was real; Remus took the hand, still hugging his bag close. "I'm Remus Lupin, from near Fredrick Street, in Blackburn and I'm a werewolf. Have been since I was four."
And just like that, in a way that was unique to thirteen year old boys. The rift was healed and the Marauders were stronger than ever. Sirius was still an arrogant git, but then again it was only a handshake with Remus Lupin, not the hand of God.
The older Sirius squeezed Remus' hand in apology for being a total prat but a response was not necessary. Remus was still with him, wasn't he?
The couple next materialised in possibly one of the most painfully embarrassing moments of Remus Lupin's life.
As most fifteen year old boys do, Sirius, James and even Peter were lounging in their dorm on their respective beds talking about the girls they liked and what they liked about them. Remus sat quietly on his own bed, nose so close to the impossibly small text that it may as well have been glued there.
"Nah, it's Lily all the way for me." James smiled dreamily.
Sirius scoffed in disgust as he checked his hair for split ends before rolling up onto his side to look at James. "I don't see what you see in her, I mean other than the eyes." Sirius' face screwed up disdainfully, "She's freckly, ginger and as pale as Nearly Headless Nick."
James scowled back at him, "With some of the birds you've pulled; I don't think your opinion counts." He dismissed his pseudo-brother. "What do you think, Remus?"
Remus' head shot out from under the pages, knowing they hadn't caught him listening. He stammered for a moment before Sirius laughed affectionately. "It's no good asking him."
Peter looked at him in confusion, "Why not?"
Sirius rolled up from his bed and then proceeded to the flop down on Remus', dislodging his book, leaving him without a shield, "Because you're as bent as a nine bob note, ain't you Remus?"
Remus spluttered, "No!" But Sirius continued to look at him affectionately, like one would with a small child with chocolate smeared all over their face though they swore they hadn't touched the stuff. "I like girls just fine!"
Sirius was absolutely infuriating, "Right, and who do you like then, Remus?" He said, still sprawled across Remus like the proverbial lamb to the slaughter.
Remus tried to keep his eyes off him as he thought quickly, "Amanda Jessup." Remus then inwardly beat nine bells out of himself for saying her, Sirius would instantly know why he said her but wouldn't let Remus off with lying to his fellow Marauders.
"Oh, and what attracts you to her?" Sirius said; the picture of supportive friend. The sneaky, rotten bastard.
Remus tried not to blush too much and look as though it wasn't physically painful for him to say the next sentences. "She has… nice…" He had to word this properly, he couldn't say the proper anatomical name or it lost effect but it couldn't be too bad or it would be obvious so… "Tits." The dorm was utterly silent for a moment before Sirius somehow fell off Remus bed in howls of laughter while the other two sniggered. Remus' face flushed, "Well, she does." He said defensively.
The black haired boy wiped away tears of mirth as he regained his feet with a smile and said, "Course she does, that's why every straight red blooded bloke in school has had a dream or two about her." Taking pity on the young werewolf, Sirius flung his arm around his shoulders and sat beside him. "Your first mistake was picking someone so obvious. You've never even spoken to her and you're more the type to fall for a long term friend, you should have picked Lily." He suggested and Remus saw the other two boys nod in agreement. "Second mistake, you're a legs man. Tits don't even enter the equation for you; so to say that was her best feature?" Remus winced at how well Sirius knew him, "Your third and final mistake was," Sirius whispered for just Remus to hear though the others could have heard if they had really wanted to. "Not knowing that it takes one to know one."
Remus was in shock for the next four days, he remembered fondly as the other boys pranced about their lives and dragging him along for the ride.
Older Remus was embarrassed by his own unimaginative lie and Sirius smirked that unrepentant smirk that had left Remus weak in the knees since not very long after this incident, even when they had finally hooked up in seventh year.
Sirius' smile disappeared quickly as he look upon the next memory, this one wasn't so happy. Remus was slightly confused as it wasn't even his.
Suddenly a figure bustled past them quickly, trying to get to the Whomping Willow. Remus gasped, "Snape…"
Sirius released Remus' hand and wrapped his arms around himself, "I thought it was time you knew my side of the story." It was true that Remus didn't remember much of that night but that didn't mean he wanted to either.
"Snape!" The two turned to see Sirius, looking frantic and James, looking harassed, come barging out of the school their wands drawn.
"Snivellus!" James called this time but Snape was already inside. "This is all your fault!" He screamed at Sirius as they ran for the willow.
"Tell me something I don't know!" Sirius snarled, pushing James towards the still paralysed tree. "Go get him, I'll follow."
The scenery shifted and they were in the Shrieking Shack, Snape was found paralysed looking the door and the other two boys were no better when they looked in. It was… horrifying.
The boys had shared a few nights now but never, not once had they seen Remus change, he'd forbidden it. They could now see why. Compared to this, the change back was a walk in the Forbidden Forest. Sirius watched in paralysed fear as his gentle, mild mannered friend lost… everything.
The control and humanity to which Remus cleaved was stripped from him as the boys heard bones break and skin stretch; saw muscles contort in his throat that turned an agonised scream into a malicious howl in a single break. The boys were still standing there when the werewolf turned and caught sight of the prey left in his den.
Not that any of them knew what to do but both Sirius and Snape felt a brief rush of incredulity when James raised his hands in surrender and whimpered, "Remus?"
Sirius was the only one quick enough to react when Moony reared back, ready to charge as he slammed the heave duty door back with a bombardment charm as the werewolf crashed into it, dazing itself.
"Go!" Sirius snarled, holding the door closed, with the help of the charm which wouldn't last long. James looked sceptical but Sirius said, "I'll be fine." The brunette nodded decisively grabbing a barely resistant Snape and dragging him up to the hatch as Sirius morphed into a dog just as the door caved…
Remus could do nothing but watch in repulsion as the night played out and Moony took all the aggression of losing a fresh kill out on Padfoot, and the giant grim like dog just… took it…
"That's why James was so lenient, why Dumbledore let you off so lightly." Remus stated with new insight into that fateful night. "You stayed? The entire night?"
Sirius nodded curtly, "Dumbledore seemed to think I spent the night fighting you off," He said absently, "I wasn't going to deny it."
Remus could quiet get out his next words, "But you- and I never-"
"You weren't supposed to know."
The next memory was of Remus setting their home on fire after Sirius had been arrested; a stupid move in retrospect but it had seemed like an insanely good idea at the time.
Then there was their first meeting after Sirius' escape and the next summer at Lupin's.
They didn't discuss their relationship at all until they got to Grimmauld Place and Sirius held onto Remus with a death grip as they both agreed to wait until a better time in the war before they started anything again. They had Harry to consider now, after all. Within twelve months, and with only one night of disturbed solace that would need to last for eternity, Sirius was gone.
They watched Sirius' descent behind the Veil and Remus howled his grief all over again as he relived his lover's death, only this time he felt there was someone to pick up the pieces of his grief, someone he could rust to treat them with care.
When the scene had changed to his and Tonks' wedding he was racked with guilt, knowing that he had betrayed the man beside him. Through the entire ceremony Remus couldn't even look at Sirius until a strong arm slipped round his waist, "I'm glad you could move forward." Sirius told him soberly, his head cocked to the side curiously. "And this just proves that you're as queer as a nine bob note, fuchsia robes?" He nudged Remus ear affectionately with his nose as the man blushed.
"They were her idea." He tried to defend himself.
The next instant Remus saw himself almost a year later, holding his boy in his arms for the first of far too few times. The boy's hair fading from green, to black, to orange and back again as he slept on oblivious. Tonks looked on tiredly with her mother at her side, "Shall we call him Teddy?" She asked with a yawn, "Teddy Remus, after my dad and his." She smiled as she drifted off without waiting for a reply.
Remus smiled adoringly down at the boy in his arms and older Remus moved closer to take his fill as well. Sirius smiled down at the baby happily as he once had with Harry, all those years ago, "I forgot how small they are." He whispered as though he could wake the memory baby by being too loud. "He's perfect." Sirius commented.
Remus beamed at his lover as his other self took him over to his cot, "I know, isn't he?" For this part of his relationship with Tonks, he could never be ashamed.
Remus felt an odd tug that seemed to start in his head and move down, he looked at Sirius in panic but the man just took his hand again, "We'll be alright." He assured him.
Lupin felt it was strange that it was only now, in death that life seemed to be bright. He could feel nothing as Sirius hand slipped from his and everything seemed to make perfect sense as James and Lily appeared from seemingly nowhere to stand at their boy's side. Sirius jogged to meet them, looking larger than life as Lupin joined them.
Though he knows that in life he would have feared for this man child by his side, now Lupin had no worries, and no regrets knowing that somehow everything would work out. When Harry asked would it hurt Remus could only smile in understanding at the question but Sirius answered better than anyone else could have, being the only one note to have died in the dead heat of some epic battle; as Harry was to now, calm and collected though scared out of his mind from the war behind him. Yes, Sirius would know best.
The werewolf was touched that in his final moments Harry spared a thought for him even though his long lost parents and beloved Godfather were standing right beside him. And when he assured Harry, he hoped that somehow, the words would reach his son who was hopefully safe somewhere.
They walked Harry to his battle field, knowing what was to come and yet knowing that their deaths were not in vain so. They knew that this boy was finally ready to face his destiny, face Death and be his equal.
As Harry revealed himself and the resurrection stone fell from his grasp, the tugging sensation happened again and Remus followed it calmly wishing Harry luck with his battle, and love in his eventual life. Wherever that may be.
Remus looked around in confusion as he saw the train station fill rapidly around him, "What the-?"
"Remus!" The familiar voice of Lily scolded him though her eyes looked kindly upon the youngsters around her. "There are children present."
The werewolf knew that now was not the time to talk to her, or James for that matter, as he watched the normal rush for the train. Sirius was at his side again, though this time he didn't touch him at all, his hands still firmly in his pockets.
They waited and Remus knew that this was very important, but he didn't know why, and it was killing him… His thoughts trailed off and he saw the exact reason they were there.
"Oh, I can't watch this." Lily cried and disappeared from sight in a flood of tears. Nobody moved to follow her, too enraptured to look away. The men knew they'd see her again soon anyway.
James smiled with pride as this own son strode confidently though the barrier, guiding a child's trolley with a beautiful brown owl perched in a cage looking totally unruffled. The man before them had what looked like the beginning of care lines on his face, around the eyes and mouth as he waited patiently for his charge to follow him.
Soon after, a shocking turquoise head popped through the barrier as a young wizard stumbled over the threshold and right into his trolley, strategically placed for him to catch.
Remus mouth formed a slight 'o' as he watched his boy look around the station in awe, obviously this was his first time here. "Sirius?" He asked timidly, not taking his eyes away from his son just in case he evaporated like many scenes before.
James and Sirius both flung a comforting arm over Remus' shoulders grinning like morons, "We thought… you know… the Powers That Be owed you. Big time. That's why you have to see all the bad stuff." James explained.
Sirius smiled warmly as Remus welled up as he watched his son first embark to a school that had captivated Remus for years. The place that he had finally given his life to protect. "So you could truly appreciate the good. We thought you might want to see him." Sirius explained softly, "Just this once." He explained and Remus pulled away from his friends and watched as Harry guided the boy to the doors.
The boy looked in fine shape, Harry and Andromeda had done an excellent job. "Harry?" The boy turned around at the last minute, and Harry was still standing there.
"Yeah, Teddy?" He said, smiling more now than Remus ever remembered and he was glad.
"You'll write, won't you?" He asked fretfully and he had one foot on the train.
"Of course."
"And the others?" He asked and Remus assumed he meant the rest of Harry's inevitable family.
"Sure."
The next question seemed to be harder for Teddy to ask, "And, and they'll be with me still?" He asked, and clarified just in case, "Mom and Dad."
Remus lost his battle with a tear as it spilled down his cheek, and Remus was sure that ghosts weren't supposed to be able to cry.
"Yeah, Teddy." Harry said solemnly hugging the boy to him as any father would and Remus was grateful to have chosen such a worthy candidate to look after his son in his absence. "They're part of you." The intentional use of Sirius' last words to his Godson just as Harry was about to send his own on this brave new adventure stuck in Remus throat and the rest was a blur.
He never noticed the train take off or the parents begin to leave. He didn't see the platform empty of souls apart from the three that stood alone at last. Three souls long since past.
"Come on, Remus!" The rich warm tone broke through Remus' haze and he turned back to his friends. James was leaning casually to one side, his arms crossed over his chest as he tilted his head back to the horizon.
Standing just in front of him, looking as young and beautiful as Remus ever remembered seeing him, Sirius held out his hand in offering to the sable haired man; a daring smile born of love and adventure lit his face like no other before. "Yeah Moony, let's go home."