Disclaimer: All characters are property of The Young & The Restless.

"Coffee", pt. 1

His ragged breathing and racing heart thundered in his ears, desire rushing through his veins, hot and insistant.

"Wait."

Had it been he who'd said it, or she? It was impossible to tell, but in that moment he'd pulled away, and stared into emerald depths tinted by lust that slowly turned to confusion.

"I...I'm sorry", Colleen said

At first he didn't reply, just looked at her. Then he took a step back and offered the ghost of a smile.

"It's alright. This has happened so often, you'd think I'd be used it by now."

But the truth was, he'd never get used to seeing Colleen, or the flare of passion that ignited in him whenever he did. The way every nerve ending in his body tingled with the awarness of her when she was in the same room. He wasn't even sure it was something he WANTED to ever get used to.

He watched her pull nervously at her necklace, until she turned away from him.

"Is it always going to be this way?" He had to strain to hear her whisper, and the misery in it set off an involuntary ache in his chest Her voice trembled on softly, "A touch in passing, a stolen kiss...and pretending the rest of the time that the other doesn't exist?"

Was she assuming that was what he wanted? That this was any easier on him, that he could turn his feelings for her on and off with a switch? His eyes narrowed.

"I don't know Colleen", he said tightly. "Why don't you tell me?"

"Me?" She said with disbelief, whipping around to look at him. "Oh, I get it, this is a pop quiz, you're the professor, and I'm just the stupid little student. And what if I get it wrong? What then? What is it you want to hear?" Her voice was shaking now, with rage or tears he couldn't tell. He suspected both. "I wish I knew, I really do. But you know, I don't think it really matters, what I want- I mean, I guess that's something you should be asking Amber."

For a moment, he had the urge to shake her, but settled for grabbing Colleen as she angrily pushed past him. Dammit, she could be so childish!

"You know what I think Colleen? Huh?" He was shouting without realizing it, his voice taking on a dangerous edge. He saw in her eyes the moment it registered. He stopped, and the realization that they were at a crossroads hit him. Whatever he said now, whatever he did now, would determine everything that came after. The knowing was lead in his belly. He sought his words with care.

"The truth is actually a pretty pathetic thing, Colleen", he said softly, his thumb feathering across her wrist. Under the weight of her gaze, he swallowed, his throat closing involuntarily. He suddenly felt like that awkward and geeky boy again.

"I don't just think about you when I'm not with you...you're all I think about." The feel of her pulse quickening beneathe his thumb spurred him on. "What you're doing, who you're with, what you're saying." Closing his eyes against the tidal wave of his emotions, he dropped his head into the slender hollow of her neck. She smelt of jasmine.

He raised his head to meet her eyes, and allowed a small smile as he caressed her hair, searing her image into his memory. What would her reaction be? Could she possibly understand? He drew on his courage and whispered, his breath soft and heated across her ear:

"And when I am with you I can't think at all...all I can do... is feel."

His lips seized hers then, not waiting to hear her reply, and he willed all of himself into it. Sighing into her as she responded, he relished the feel of her hands combing through his hair. He cupped her face in one hand, and wrapped his arm around her soft curves with the other. When it was over, they were both breathless. Colleen spoke first.

"So...what now?" The question hung between them, but it was asked in a voice filled with hope.

"Now?" Laughing, he grabbed her hand and kissed it.

"Well, my lady, I hear that it's customary to start with coffee."

Authors note: Well folks, there you have it. My very first "Cadrian" fic, and coincidentally, the first fanfic I ever completed. Miracles do happen.