Evil Dead: Dark Carnival
Written By. Gabe Ricard
Here it is. After two months of blood, sweat, tears and drunken stupor I can bring you with the utmost confidence the Evil Dead/ICP crossover in it's entirety which had been broken up into 13 chapters to make it easier to read. So kick back pour some Sake and get ready for what will hopefully be one of the best Evil Dead/ICP fan fics ever written by a guy who's name starts with a G.
Chapter One-Why does this always happen to me?
"Well…what the hell should I do now?" Ash shook his head sighed looking back on the city of Nibelheim as he did. He saw his 73' Oldsmobile and yawned. He had just finished helping some kid named Gabe rescue some drunken old guy from a mad scientists house (See Housewarming Party) and now, once again he was trapped on a world he wasn't familiar with. He shrugged it off it wasn't anything new but it was still annoying. He keyed up his car giving it a minute to warm up before speeding off then less then a couple hours later hearing a small explosion and saw smoke beginning to rise out of the hood out of his car.
"Just great…" he shook his head and sighed again. He knew he wasn't going to get this fixed tonight. "May as well just get some sleep." He thought aloud. He left the hood up and walked to the door. He looked back and squinted seeing a town in the far distance. "I'll head in there tomorrow morning and see if anyone can help me out…I'm too tired anyway," he opened the door and crawled into the front seat, unhooking his chainsaw arm and tossing it in the back before falling asleep almost instantly.
"Someone needs to turn that god damn clown music of-wha?!?!" Ash shot straight up banging his head on the roof of the car and looked around, "How the hell did I wake up on carnival grounds?!" he reached towards the back seat and grabbed his chain-saw and hooked it back into his arm. He then kicked the door open and shot out looking around at the carnival grounds he had mysteriously woken up on. Ash sensed something evil about the carnival the moment he got out of the car. His suspicions where confirmed when he heard an aged grated voice not too far from where he was.
"Come one! Come all! Come one! Come all!"
Ash heard that the voice was very near and walked away from his car and towards the voice. The whole area was incredibly creepy mostly because it was deserted as far as Ash could see. The voice he had been following jostled him out of his thoughts.
"Hello there sir! Yes yes what a lucky day it is for you! A lucky day indeed!"
"What the hell are you talking about?!" snapped Ash face to face with the face that fit the voice he had been following. The man resembled a ringmaster from the days of freakshows. He had an incredibly old face and long, crooked rotting teeth.
"A good question sir! A good question indeed! I'll get right to it!" the old ringmaster turned slightly away from Ash to an audience that had seemingly come from nowhere. Among the small crowd was an array of hideous freaks as well as people dressed in clown outfits.
"Ladies and gentlemen! Here to present our main attraction, the dyspicles of the dark carnival, two misguided souls that have been spreading its message and keeping it strong for it's return. Ladies and gentlemen I bring to you…Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J!!
These where two people Ash had heard of. Remembering they where friends of Gabe and had been at that housewarming party only yesterday.
Violent J dressed in a tacky, out of place lime green business suit looked to be getting ready to address the crowd. "Thank you…thank you….here it is ya'll" He reached into the front pocket of his business suit and pulled out a seemingly ordinary jokers card. "The sixth jokers card which holds the man himself…the man who has been storing his power for his return and now…now…we can bring him back…. freaks and ho's…lemme bring to ya, the sixth jokers card….the true and only power in the universe…the-
"Just get on with the shit!" snapped Shaggy.
"Oh yeah….here he is bitchboys…THE BUTTERFLYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!"
"The Butterfly?!" whispered Ash to himself. "What kind of name is that?!" Ash shook his head and continued to watch the bizarre ceremony going on in front of him his gun held uneasily near his gun which he was ready to bring out at any moment.
A second later, Violent J threw the card onto the ground creating a tremendous wall of fire that disappeared as a figure emerged from the flames. The Butterfly wore a leather jacket with a face not unlike ICP's except this face looked far more evil with eyes that held pure hell inside them and his face was covered in jagged scars. His black scraggy hair hung over his face a wicked sneer on his face. Violent J handed him the Mic and stepped back. "Thank you everyone…It has been a very long time since the last time I addressed all of you…but now we can begin where we left off and fill the world with pure darkness…" He turned to ICP. "You two…have kept my name and my carnival alive in my absence but now…. your usefulness has ended."
"What the fuck are you-ahhhh!" The Butterfly cut him off with a wave of his arm levitating ICP above the crowd.
"The shit is this?!" cried Shaggy, "You NEED us man!"
The Butterfly threw his head back and laughed, "Need you? You're nothing more than pathetic street trash that was about three seconds away from being drive-by victims when I found you…You may have carried my message but you also filled it with pathetic lies about the carnival…By the way there is indeed a hell and when you get there give my regard to the man himself…bye. Bye" The Butterfly slowly began to clench his fist which appeared to be causing ICP more pain the closer he came to completely closing his fist. Then just as he was about to do this a shot rang out and a bullet bounced off his hand breaking his concentration and dropping ICP to the ground. Everyone looked back in shock to see Ash standing with his shotgun outstretched.
"Hey bozo, if anyone's gonna kill these stupid clowns its gonna be me."
"Who the hell are you?!"
"Names Ash."
"You will PAY for what you did!"
Ash smirked slightly and started up his chain saw arm, "Bring it Bozo."
"Whoever the hell this guy is I want his head! Kill him!" screamed The Butterfly to the small crowd of freaks. One man who had a arm that was five feet long charged at Ash and tried to clothesline him but Ash ducked under, slicing the arm off as he did then catching it and smashing him in the face with it.
"Now that's a bitch-slap," thought Ash shooting two men dressed in demonic clown outfits then slicing a hideously overweight mans head off. Ash never let up for a moment using far more bullets then a shotgun would allow Ash widdled down the numbers until only a small child with a beard stood across from him. Ash saw The Butterfly still watching from the stage.
"You better call wolf-boy back if he's all you got left," suggested Ash.
"You shouldn't underestimate the bearded girl," replied The Butterfly.
"There is no way that's a girl,"
he thought."Watch me," with that Ash drew his shotgun and fired several shots at the bearded girl who caught all of them in her teeth and spat them back at Ash who managed to narrowly avoid them. "Well…if bullets are out then I guess chainsaws are in!" Ash jumped to his feet and charged blindly at the bearded girl who jumped over Ash and landed right behind him. Before Ash could react the bearded girl grabbed his leg and threw him with shocking force into a tree. Ash managed to pull his head out of the tree but as he did the bearded girl propelled herself into his stomach like a canon ball then grabbed his hair and threw him into an empty milk bottle booth brining it crashing down on him.
Ash pushed a piece of the booth off and looked up to see the snarling little girl standing over him holding a boulder above her head. Ash knew he was done for but then a fireball blared behind the wolf-girl who burst into flames and dropped the boulder on top of her. Ash spat one of his teeth out and pulled himself up. "Now what?" In front of him stood ICP who where making obscene gestures at the boulder and snickering "Grand…I've been saved by clowns," muttered Ash regaining his composure.
He remembered the Butterfly and slowly walked towards the stage where the Butterfly stood cackling a low, dark, tone. "This is quite an interesting development…I'll be waiting for you and I do hope you make it through the carnival. I'd much rather fight you here and now but more important matters demand my attention so as I said before, our battle will have to wait. See you then." When The Butterfly uttered these words he pulled a seemingly ordinary jokers card out of his jacket sleeve and threw it on the ground creating a wall of thick, black smoke around him. When the smoke finally cleared, The Butterfly was no longer standing amongst them and the only thing that could be heard in the now deserted area of the carnival was a faint, cruel laugh that was seeming to be carried through out the carnival by the cold breeze.