Disclaimer: Do you seriously think I'm JK Rowling? Come on.
Love is Everything
The sense of relief that filled me after the effects of Apparation wore off quickly left as I stood, a bit shocked, at the scene below me. Hesitating for only a moment, I rushed off into the fray, chasing the nearest masked Death Eater. From my peripheral vision, I saw Kingsley dueling two of Voldemort's followers and Sirius rushing around sending flashes of red light to anyone who got too near. That wasn't on our side, of course. I managed to unmask Goyle and quickly stunned him, running after Dolohov. Sirius had managed to get there before me and I was almost happy. Dolohov was a fierce fighter with no mercy, much like a male version of Bellatrix, and Sirius was well suited for him with his reckless behavior.
My eyes swept the scene around me looking for Sirius' ruthless cousin and Tonks', my heart skipped a beat wondering how she was ever related to her, aunt. As much as I feared for my life, my best friend (seeing how the other two were either dead or a traitor), Harry, Kingsley, Moody and the Weasleys, it was nothing compared to the deep sense of grief and emptiness that I had when I pictured a life without Nymphadora Tonks.
Her vibrant personality and carefree laugh and the very fact that she seemed to glow, was not lost on me. I thought I was too old to experience such an all-consuming love, but I was completely wrong. She was better than me in every possible way – young, smart, beautiful, happy, inquisitive, strong, courageous, loyal, glorious. She had a bright future. One that didn't, couldn't, involve me.
Seeing her battle Bellatrix, from the tiered seats, sent my heart into hibernation. Could I reach them in time? Help her end the person who had tortured and killed so many? It seemed unlikely, just like the fact that Tonks could ever finish Bellatrix, but I couldn't stop myself from hoping.
When she fell, her limp body crashing to the ground from where she stood on those raised chairs, I was overcome with fury. My vision ran red and hate overpowered every rational thought and feeling. Again, I was hopelessly glad when Sirius reached his cousin before me because I knew, in the back of my mind, that I was too outraged to be of any help. I would probably cause the entire Ministry to fall on top of us in my rage rather than simply killing Bella. I wasn't fifteen, and I had to fight my battles with rationality.
In short amount of time that it took for me to realize my hate had to calm down, that I couldn't help Tonks if I didn't, Dumbledore arrived and the Death Eaters were gathered and held back by his invisible rope. Mad-Eye had crawled over to were she lay, unmoving, and was trying to revive her. How was it that someone else always seemed to get there before I did? And Sirius and Bellatrix were in the center of the room, completely unaware of anything but themselves. With a flash of green light, Sirius fell, behind the Veil, his last laugh still etched on his youthful face.
I didn't think anything of grabbing Harry and pulling him to my chest, trying to keep him from what I almost had done to Bellatrix. There was nothing Harry could do, nothing I could do. My best friend was gone, and I was selfishly alone. For once, when I was the first person to get there, to get to Harry, I had no idea how to stop him. How could I teach the young man in my grasp that hate would never help you win? That love was everything? That was how I knew, deep in my very being, that Tonks was still alive, because I would know if she was truly gone and I would disappear as well.