Author's Note: Some of you may have read this before. The first two to three chapters are the same. This fic was once called Darkness Never Dies. The name was never something I really liked but just something that seemed perfectly fitting but then I went back to the other name that just lingered in the back of my head. Secrets Behind Her Smile was something I just heard somewhere and I needed to put up.
Anyhow what happened last time I put this fic up is that I ran myself into a rut and so then I decided to just put it on hiatus but a month ago I read over the fic and deleted chapter 4 and 5 deciding to change a few things and once I did that I knew exactly where I was going. Now I have some chapters finished and they are all perfectly edited. I decided to put it up regardless of the fact that I don't have a beta. I am looking for one so anyone interested e-mail me or pm me. My e-mail is on my profile. I also do have a live journal even though I haven't gone in there in a while.
I think that's it. This is a Lucius/Hermione with a tad of Draco/Hermione. I don't mind constructive criticism so criticize away. I don't like flames. If you don't like this pairing or the story in itself why are you reading? Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own the HP characters, neither am I J.K. Rowling. I am not making any money from this. It is just for my enjoyment and for practice.
Summary:
Hermione Granger has many secrets, many things she's kept from others. No one has really seen much of it but select people and even then no one ever guessed who she was. She knew she had a choice to make, she's known since she was eleven and now that she will be making this choice how does this connect her to Lucius Malfoy? And what is all this talk about blood? What does Draco Malfoy have to do about it?
Introduction
I could never truly believe it at least when I first saw the truth I was more than just surprised. I had loved her at some point. I was her best friend but she apparently had changed. It was all her fault and yet I don't blame her. My feelings for her are still there, no one truly understands why I still love her. The fact is she told me one night that she loved me. I did not believe my ears but then she kissed me. It was a gentle kiss that ended as quick as it came and now I wonder did she even love me then, was that part of her betrayal. Had it been the beginning for her?
I did wonder at some point why after all those years of knowing she finally truly gave in to what she knew I felt for her. It was a surprise to me but I was pleased. Now I look back to the what happened and I realize that after the kiss she laughed—it was not her usual laugh—and then left me. Was she mocking me? It would seem so but something deep down said no to that. I should truly stop thinking about her in that way. I mean to say after all she's done.
I blamed myself for what she became.
Yes, that was truly what I did. You see she betrayed us all but I see it as my own fault. All the constant fighting I drove her to and that night. That faithful night when she truly snapped at us…no, not us but me…I remember it well. Yes, I said awful things to her. She ran and I don't know but maybe that was the day of the beginning. How am I supposed to know? All that I know is this:
She was my best friend, I loved her, she was a Gryffindor, she was on the light side, and she was friends with Harry Potter.
I knew those things and I know them know also but that is all in the past because I know this of her now:
She betrayed us all, it was her fault, she is a Slytherin, and she lied to all of us.
I never knew that she was nothing more than an actress, a servant to Voldemort but I trusted her and now this is what she's done. I know something else of her.
Her name is Hermione Granger. This is her story.
As for me, I will never stop loving her, she will always still be Hermione Granger my best friend and the love of my life.
Chapter One
The proposals
The darkness that engulfed him seemed not to bother as he walked in shadows. It was then he saw her. She had her wand raised light spouting out of it. There was something about her. An unusual sort of something that drew her to him in a way that made it almost painful, it was how she held herself, he was sure it was. He knew there was also more about her to call his attention but the girl was below his status. She did not belong with him. After all she was a mudblood and he a pureblood. After all he was Lucius Malfoy while she—she was Hermione Granger.
The girl turned and he walked past her still hidden in the night's shadows. He had thought of her for a while now since he had first laid his eyes on her and now looking at her on this night looking even more beautiful than ever he didn't know what to think. Lucius had seen her difference that day at the quidditch world cup; he had seen what others had not. Remembering that day he smiled, or at least as much of a smile that he allowed himself to give the thought.
"Hermione!" he heard Harry Potter calling for his friend. "Hermione, where are you?"
Oh, how he despised Harry Potter. "I'm right here, Harry" he heard her call to him. She had a soft voice that seemed somewhat melodic.
Lucius had to hide. Potter would surely notice him where Hermione Granger had not. Staying close enough to hear what they said he hid behind the biggest tree he could find being noiseless.
"What was it that you wanted?" Hermione asked
"I think we should just go back. Say we didn't find any of that dust Slughorn wanted. It's getting late and there are, well, things in here I rather not meet" he seemed to shudder and a thought crossed Lucius. He was one of those things that Harry Potter didn't want to meet.
"Yes, I agree. We should go back then." She seemed annoyed though. It was as if she wanted to stay longer.
Lucius heard them talk some more and then he watched the light recede, they were leaving—finally. He had been hiding for more than an hour watching them in case they found him. He had had to follow the two Gryffindors as a precaution. One he had not been too happy to take.
Just as he was turning to go deeper into the forest and continue with his task he heard the footsteps. They were light and he knew to whom they belonged to and then he saw her again her wand held by her right hand and her eyes searching the floor for something.
It was a few inches away from him. It was her school bag. The moment he had seen it she also had and she was now reaching for it but then she saw him and gasped. She was about to yell scream at this point. Lucius seeing what was going to happen took her by her waist and pushing her against the nearest tree Lucius took out his wand "Silencio" He said and then looked down at her. She was beautiful. Lucius would never say otherwise. And he saw the defiance in her eyes. It made her even more alluring. "What is it about you? Ever since I first saw you"
Hermione could not answer "You're different" he continued then. "No one has ever reminded me so much of myself in such a way. You are ambitious and you are powerful. Yes that is true. You are clever and you hold yourself above everyone else. I see it in your eyes—"
Hermione watched him now listening to what he was saying and she grew infuriated. He was telling her everything that was true about herself. But he barely knew her. Did anyone that met her know so much about her?
"I knew when I saw you that you had some talent for a kind of magic. I could feel it. The dark arts call to you, do they not?" this question requested an answer.
Hermione nodded. It was true and why keep it from him? Lucius clearly would not care. Not like her friends did anyhow. She watched him smile.
"I really did suspect it. I knew because I could feel it. Your Aura and yet—I would not believe it. A muggle-born interested in the dark arts. It is something that I have not heard of—ever."
Lucius waved his wand at her again "finite incantatem" he said and now she could speak but she didn't. "I want to know—" he stopped talking. He had just heard footsteps again. "Do not dare to talk"
"Hermione, Hermione!" it was Harry Potter.
His voice strayed somewhere else and Lucius then turned to Hermione.
"What is it you want with the dark arts, would you join Lord Voldemort?" the whisper was said fast.
"I—" would she? Not even she knew if she could do it. "—I truly do not know. I have always enjoyed studying it and working with the spells but I don't—I don't know. Could we meet again? I might have your answer then. I need to understand if I could do this"
"Yes, that will work. Tell no one of our meeting. I shall be in touch" with that he reached towards her and set a hand on her cheek. Then he left Hermione standing there against the tree. Hermione composed herself quickly and picked up her bag.
"I'm over here, Harry" Hermione shouted "I was looking for my bag, just found it a little while ago"
Harry nodded "That's good then I thought you had gotten hurt or lost. Anyway come on"
Lucius watched them leave. He would have her on his side and soon. He could make something of her in the dark lord's side. She would make a great spy and possibly even more. A Gryffindor and Harry Potter's best friend, she would be perfect for the task.
Hermione thought back to Lucius Malfoy. She remembered first meeting him at Flourish and Botts. Hermione also remembered being ashamed of being seen with Mr. Weasley. He had started a fight and this had ashamed her. Mrs. Weasley had agreed with her on this and she had seen them fight over it.
The second time they had met he had seen her and not only the boy-who-lived. Their eyes had met and she had blushed, he was a handsome man. There was also something in the way he had stood there as if he was more than her while he would never be she admired how much confidence he had.
Hermione had seen him once more at the end of her fifth year. He had not paid much attention to her and neither had she for him but she had known that Lord Voldemort would punish him if he did not get the prophecy. For a moment she had wanted to help him. To allow him to have it but she had in the end given up on the idea. She had been worried about Harry and the fact that he would never spare her life.
They had not met again. He had been in Azkaban until that past summer. Lucius had escaped with the rest of the death eaters. Now this was the first time she had seen him since he had escaped. She had not expected to find him there and for him to offer her—a muggle-born, Gryffindor, best friend to Harry Potter—the ability to join Voldemort.
"Mr. Potter, Miss Granger?" it was the headmistress, Professor McGonagall.
"Yes?" Harry asked.
"Well—do you have it?" she looked from Harry to Hermione and then sighted.
"We couldn't find the dust at all. We couldn't even find the desired tree that would provide it. Professor, I don't think that we would have found it" Hermione shrugged. "It's well past midnight and so we decided to come back"
The professor looked at her uncertain then nodded. The two Gryffindors left their headmistress walking towards the Gryffindor tower.
"I hate detention" Harry then said "And it's only November." He sighted. "Already I have had ten detentions and I am looking towards a month more" he said frustrated.
Hermione laughed "You shouldn't have lost your temper you know" she said "Of course I shouldn't have yelled at Professor Dowd. But it's nearly December" she said and then continued walking towards the Gryffindor Common room.
When they arrived there Harry sighted "I need sleep" he said and with a yawn went up to the boy's dormitories. Hermione smiled and then walked up to her own dormitory.
Hermione changed into her pyjamas still replaying the conversation through. She needed to make a decision. She knew it was to be something that made sense to her and something that truly felt right. The dark arts had always had a place in her but she had to get to sleep.
Hermione finally slept when she decided to think of other odious things. Her last thought was that she needed a good night's sleep. Hermione slept fitfully and then when she did manage by three o'clock in the morning it was because of a dream.
Darkness surrounded her. She was standing in a forest waiting for something. Hermione listened intently and yet there came no sound suddenly someone wrapped their arms around her waist from behind her and began to whisper in her ear. Something she heard made her stop squirming.
"Join us, Hermione" he then said "We'll protect you. You'll be great and powerful in our midst."
She smiled turning in his arms. "I will" she said quickly "I belong on this side" "Exactly, love" he leaned towards her…
Hermione woke up when she fell off the bed with a large thump. She groaned and got up hopping she had not woken up her dorm mates. She had.
"It's Saturday, Hermione!" one of them wailed and then went back into sleep.
Hermione smiled slightly she had never liked her dorm mates. Having never shared a room with anyone and having had an enormous room back when she was younger Hermione had never truly been keen to share but she had known better than to complain. She knew better than to do that and show what—who—she truly was.
Hermione remembered that she had learnt a lot after her first year and then in her fourth year she had gone to Ron's house. The burrow she had found to be somewhat dirty, disgusting, and small. She did not like it one bit. Ginny's room had been tiny and having to share it with her had been a lot worst. Then the next year had been better. 12 Grimmauld Place in her opinion was more a wizarding house than the Burrow ever was. The room she had been made to share with Ginny was larger and yet Hermione had not enjoyed the sharing part. There were many rooms in the house but she had not been allowed to have one of her own, she hadn't asked so as to not draw attention to herself.
She was an only child from a rich family and she was very spoilt. Not that it mattered Hermione had not truly enjoyed everything with the Weasleys during her summers. The truth was that she had a secret and she was keeping it completely quiet. None of her friends knew and this was the way she liked it.
Her thoughts drifting from that she decided that she needed to take a shower and maybe that would help her thoughts settle down. It didn't. When Hermione came out of the shower she dressed quickly in jeans, a simple shirt and a gray sweater. She slipped her feet into her shoes and then walked towards the common room but when she got there she did not want to be there. She needed to be moving or be somewhere where she could think.
After standing there for a few minutes she decided that a walk would do. Forgetting that it was a few days until December and that already it felt like winter she walked out of the common room not meeting anyone but deep in thought.
The moment that she stepped outside she shivered. It was much colder than other days but she did not want to go inside to get her cloak. She walked around for a while and then went near the lake. There she sat down against a beech tree and began to cry. Her life was changing and quickly.
Hermione sighed. She had to think it all over. Her life would need the right choice. Her family needed a right choice. Thinking about the proposal and about the order and her friends she leaned against the tree and took a deep breath remembering the dream she had had just hours earlier and she wondered who had been the one she had talked to. But now the picking of sides made her cringe. What would keep her alive? She needn't die for a cause for she belonged on one side and she knew which. Her family entirely belonged there. Lord Voldemort's side and yet she wanted to be on the winning side. She had to be.
Albus Dumbledore had often wondered about the young witch that was friends with Harry Potter. Professor McGonagall had also wanted to know how she could be so great at magic with no wizarding relations. Professor Snape had even thought about her but none had gotten anything out of it. Hermione's story after all was very believable. It had everything needed in it to make a perfectly believable story; there was no way anyone could figure it out.
Many people had wondered why Hermione was so smart and not only about things they learnt in books but about all aspects of magic. She acted at times like a pureblood and had grasped spells faster than anyone else. It looked as if she had practiced with magic itself but it couldn't be. The fact she was a muggle-born amazed many but no one truly knew that she had a secret. Some did suspect it but no one had proof.
The truth was that Hermione was a pureblood. A great pureblood from the longest line alive she was a descendant of two of the founders. Rowena Ravenclaw and Salazar Slytherin but it had been a great fiasco. Hermione did not know the complete truth of what happened as her parents never allowed her to read the history of the family, there was just something about it that had always drawn her attention to the history of her family but somehow her parents did not want to allow this to be shown to her.
Hermione remembered how the plan had begun long ago with her parents and how unhappy she had been as she had been made to leave her home. The manor in which she had grown in, Hermione had not set foot in it since the age of eleven. She remembered the day when she was first told what would happen like it was yesterday.
There she was sitting peacefully on her window seat facing the front of the house. She could see the small forest that hid the house from view if you came to the gates. Muggles were not allowed on the grounds at all and there was enough protection on the house to keep them out.
Hermione sighed looking outside. She loved the grounds but at the moment it was raining and she would have liked anything more than to be outside but she knew that it was not proper.
When her parents entered her room she jumped up not having expected them. Even though Hermione saw them all the time she never did see them in her room. Her mother was always busy with her reading or whatever it was she did. Her father on the other hand was always down in his office working on things or in their potion's room. Hermione knew that her parents were getting many things ready for something what she did not know.
"Hello, Princess" her father Mythir Sombroy said smiling at her. "We have something that we will need to talk to you about. We want you to join us in the library in half an hour"
Hermione nodded confused. Her parents had never themselves come to call upon her. It was always one of the house elves or even one of the human servants. Hermione took her time walking towards the library. She was fully aware that this—whatever this was—would be something that she wasn't going to like. When she entered the library she noticed her mom was standing by the window. "Her life will change for ever, Mythir" she was saying "It will be seven years away from this"
"Mother, Father" Hermione stepped inside making her presence known.
"Ah, Hermione!" Lucretia said "Come now, sit" she pointed to a plush arm chair. Hermione sat down and watched her mom still her back towards them looking outside.
Hermione had always admired her mother's beauty. She had never been like her. Her mother was perfect. Lucretia Sombroy was a slim woman with pale skin and blond hair that curled perfectly her eyes were a deep dark blue.
"We're going to be moving" Mythir said then. Hermione looked up at that. Her father smiled sadly.
Hermione's father also held poise and perfection. He was a tall man with black hair that fell into his eyes. Hermione loved her father's eyes. They were a mixture of green and hazel.
"For your safety, Princess, we'll have to move!" he continued "You see this family cannot be lost and we need to have you on the side that will win. Because of Lord Voldemort this is so. We do not know if he is to return or not and so his not returning will leave us in a bad spot.
"Once Upon a time being a pureblood and from this family no less gave you power and respect. It still will from the more prestiged purebloods. But the fact is blood is counting for less and less with Dumbledore as head of that school and with everything else happening you will have to act the part. I want you to befriend the-boy-who-lived."
Hermione had sighed. Ever since she had read Hogwarts, a History she had wanted to be in Slytherin but she knew that Harry Potter would be a Gryffindor. No one in her family had been a Gryffindor ever. They were Slytherins.
"So how does moving include in this?" she questioned.
"Your name alone could make them fear you, for this fact you will no longer be Hermione Sombroy. You will be Hermione Granger a muggle-born clever girl that enjoys the library. We have been getting everything ready as well as making wills and making sure that all the family money stays in the bank as it is. We will not be touching it. It is yours when you turn seventeen. You'll be allowed back in this house in your last year and it is then you chose your side. We go along with you.
"We will be dentists we have everything ready and we will be working on that. We're to live the muggle way with no magic from now on."
Hermione had known that she was leaving behind her life that day and it had been true. The moment she was sorted into Gryffindor—after using a large amount of Occlumency—she had run to the table and sat down with the Weasleys. The plan had begun.
Hermione sighed once more remembering how she had felt that night and then in the dormitory how she had cried under the covers of a silenced bed. She had learnt enough from her parents to make her the best and most powerful student there but she had been warned not to show too much of her magic or potential. Hermione still hid her powers from people. No one knew she was an Occlumens and Legimens either. It had all come with the preparations.
Deciding that thinking about the past wasn't going to help her she turned back to the problem at hand. The dark order would take her in, in a second if they knew who she was. As for the Order of the Phoenix they would hate that she had lied and they would think her a spy coming from the darkest family alive.
She needed to pick the thing that made sense to her. But the only problem was nothing did. Not being in the order was betraying her friends but would they truly be her friends when they learned that she came from the darkest wizarding family and that at the age of eleven when she first met them she was thinking inside herself that it would only last seven years with the blood traitors and half-blood. Would they still be friendly towards her when she told them how un-wizardry she felt the Weasleys were and how disgusted she had been with Ginny's room. Would they still be her friends then?
The answer was no. She knew Harry and Ron well. Ron would not forgive her and Harry would side with him. Ginny was too loyal to her family. The Weasleys would hate her for what she had thought and still at times thought of them. The first time Hermione had seen Ron eat for example had been a complete new experience for her never having been with anyone that ate like that.
Going to the dark order on the other hand was a whole different story. All of the death eaters would respect her. Even Voldemort himself would be in a way be less than her. She would have power with Voldemort like his most trusted followers. The moment they heard her name they would know she was there and not as a spy. They would praise her and bow down to her. It would be a lot different from before. She knew that there she could speak like she had always done before in her aristocratic manner. She could once more live in greatness and eat properly. Plus she would be able to use magic of the dark sort.
But it was betrayal. Her friends—if they could be called that—would hate her. But she belonged on the other side didn't she? She had always found it all amazing and great in a way. The dark magic that she truly had a talent for could be used then on people she had learned to tolerate. Ambition was another thing. She would have everything if she went to the dark side.
Hermione shivered. She had been doing so for the past hour but she had not given in and gone inside. It was then as she was again trying to figure it out that she felt something on her shoulders. She turned back and saw Draco Malfoy looking down at her. His cloak was around her shoulders.
"I don't want it" Hermione stood the cloak now hugging her form.
"But you have accepted" he said with a smirk.
"Why do you give it to me? I thought I was a filthy little mudblood. You'll have to burn it after this, won't you?" Hermione watched him.
"I am a gentleman and I will not stand here and let a lady get cold while I could have a solution." He said the smirk that always grazed his face was gone. He sat down and Hermione joined him.
"But you would never call me a lady" she said watching for his reaction. She couldn't tell what it was he wanted with her.
"Oh but you are too a lady, aren't you? You are Lady Sombroy" he sighed "I never truly expected you but I had my guesses. I mean when my father told me to search for the family I found that they had a daughter my age. You could guess at my surprise when I found out that I had been tormenting her for the past six years and well a few months"
Hermione shook her head "I know not what you speak" she said and looked out towards the lake.
"You do, I knew there was something about you. I could sense some sort of power with magic and you were always pretty smart. Just accept that I know. I also have something to ask you" he waited for her to speak.
"Fine, but first tell me how you figured it out. The plan was foolproof" she noticed when wind hit them a scent from the cloak went to her nose. She took it in and smiled.
"Father was good friends with your parents. They attended Hogwarts at the same time after all and were all in Slytherin. He knew of the purity of the line when they married and he made a deal in a way with them. You see purity for us is also important and so my father was to marry you. But then there was a change of plans with Voldemort. He needed my father to have an heir. Marrying into the Black family he and my mother had me. I was to be used as Voldemort's heir.
"My father was proud of that but he knew that I wasn't the true heir because you are. Slytherin blood runs through you. He and your parents gave up on their deal and so stopped being so close. When Lord Voldemort failed my father was devastated. While we lost a lot your family didn't and he cursed himself for having listened but then we were to be in the same year. He never told me of you.
"He told me of his friends and the purity in your family. About a month ago he asked me to search for them. I found them as dentists in a muggle town with the surname Granger. I went to my father and asked if they had any children and he answered with yes. I knew it had to be you.
"My father when I told him I had found them said that I should ask you to join the dark lord. Would you?" he saw tears rolling down her cheeks and he did not know what to do.
"I don't know" she then said "I've been thinking about that itself. To join Voldemort or go to the order, in a way I belong in your world with Voldemort but the simple fact that I have gotten to know these people in the order makes it hard for me. Your father does not know who I am. Last night we met accidentally in the forest during a detention and he told me that he knew there was something about me and that I should join Voldemort.
"This got me to being here. You know I have to survive this and be on the winning side. My bloodline is very important and it needs to survive the war" she looked towards the lake before continuing "The choice was always there for me. My parents told me when I was eleven years old that I would have to make this choice someday. But there is more to it. You see I know that with Voldemort I regain respect and power. I also know that the order will not trust me for a while if I ever let my secret known to them and they have no class. You should have seen my face the first time I saw Ron's house or the first time I saw them eat.
"You saw Mr. Weasley start a fight in public. I was ashamed. My parents were there at the time under Polijuice potion and acting the muggles. They rambled on about their disgrace and I agreed. You see I'm not used to that. No, but the simple fact that the moment I am out of Hogwarts my identity comes out they will not trust me" she turned to him. "Did you have a choice?"
He nodded "My father made sure I did. I could have left anytime I wanted but I was raised to know that there is more than just blood in this but more ghastly feuds. You know of this."
Hermione nodded "Could you not tell your father who I am and could you tell him that you haven't found me. I want to answer him. He will be in touch with me and I want to tell him myself. I think I know what my choice will be but I will sleep on it." she smiled at him now.
Draco stood up. "Alright then, Lady Sombroy." He said and took her hand in his kissing the top of it. He then began to walk back into Hogwarts.
"Wait! Don't you want your cloak?" Hermione said looking down at the dark green cloak that was not hers.
"No, I am more flattered that you keep it!" he gave her a smile and then walked away.
Hermione sat there for a while more wrapped up in Draco Malfoy's cloak thinking over what he had said. She still smelt his cologne on the cloak and she smiled. It was wonderful. Standing up she decided to head into breakfast. Her friends would wonder where she had been if she didn't.
When Hermione entered the great hall she noticed that from the Slytherin table Draco was smirking her way. She gave him a smile and walked towards the Gryffindor table.
"Hey" she said looking over her friends. "So what are you three up to today?"
"Quidditch practice" they all said together. Hermione nodded.
"You should come and watch" Ron then said "You need a break from the library" he frowned at her. "Whose cloak is that?"
"Mine" Hermione answered simply. "I bought it with my mom when we went into Diagon Alley to get my books this past summer" she said. Lying would really get her nowhere and with them she would always lie. Her decision was made. No more lies and there would be her rightful respect and power. Yes, the dark order would do well for her.
Author's Note: Please review! Again anyone interested in being my beta e-mail me, pm me or just tell me over your review...anything works for me...
Lupin's Misstress