Title: What Lies Before Us
Summary: "This life was just the training field, Arthur. The true quest is just beginning." At the Lake of Avalon, Merlin has a few things to tell Arthur…because even though it seems bleak, it's not really the end. Monologue. Written before the finale, but functions as a tag to 5x13.
Warnings: pure monologue, with lots of introspection and angst
Notes: I wrote this before the finale, when I was trying to figure out how I would reconcile with a tragic ending. I knew that if Arthur died, it would seem as though the prophecies about Merlin's destiny and Albion never really came to fruition. And that's tragic and way too sad.
As it turns out, the finale ended almost exactly as I had expected, but I was actually extremely satisfied with it. I'm not sure why. Maybe because it was such a beautiful picture of Merlin and Arthur's friendship. Maybe I'm not as bothered by the fact that Albion never really came into being because it's the idea of Albion and the values of Camelot that always matter the most, and that's true in every version of the legend.
Or maybe it's because I've eaten a hell of a lot of Christmas cookies and fudge. *shrug* For those feeling sad about the ending, I hope this tidbit raises your spirits a bit. Long live Camelot!
"I bet you never thought it would end like this. I certainly didn't, not after all that talk of destiny.
"I should have asked more questions, Arthur. Should have demanded answers – specific answers, not those vague riddles Kilgharrah used to feed me. All those times when they mentioned destiny and this mythical land of peace and prosperity that you and I were destined to build together… I should have asked for a timefame on that.
"Destinies are troublesome things, Arthur – our destiny even more than most. And sometimes, destiny can't be changed, no matter how much you may want to; you can't change how things are supposed to be.
"I should have realized that no man can ever know his own destiny, not really. Even now, I know only the broad strokes, but the details – all the little twists and turns along the way – I'm still waiting to discover those, waiting until we can discover them together.
"You see, all this time, I kept dreaming of Albion. And I thought that's what we were working towards. Some days, it felt like we were so close I could almost taste it.
"But it was like looking in a glass and seeing a reflection, and it looks so close – it's a bit distorted, maybe, a little out of focus – but it's right there, just tantalizingly out of reach. Except that it's not. It's not a lie or an illusion, because it is there, but it's distant and cloudy and hovering on the horizon, and it only looks so close because you want it so badly, but the truth is you still have miles to go.
"This isn't what I'd hoped for; it's nothing like my dreams. But it's nothing like my nightmares either. Destiny didn't go wrong, Arthur, it just took a turn that we never expected.
"But know this, Arthur Pendragon, you and I… we'll never be forgotten. It doesn't matter what we have done in this life or the mistakes we've made. What we worked for, the world we tried to build, the dream we both longed for, it will inspire generations and kingdoms for ages to come. Ours is a tale that is destined to be retold. And no matter how it seems, this isn't the end. After this little rest, we'll start again, strong and resolute. Albion still lies before us. It's inevitable, as firmly set in stone as all that has come before. Albion will still be ours, and when it is, it will be nobler than our finest dreams.
"This life was just the training field, Arthur. The true quest is just beginning. There's still so much more before us, so much that destiny has planned, just waiting on the horizon. We're still marching towards it, Arthur; we always will be me, you and me. Side by side, like we've always been. You'll see, Arthur. Very soon, you'll see. And everything that came before will be but a pale reflection when the world that Destiny laid before us, the world we've always been destined to build, is finally won."