Bored
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A/N: This is just a bit of silliness. :)
Upcoming I have a short chaptered fic about Cameron returning to Princeton after being gone for 5 years, and eventually, the Saving Grace sequel. (I have started on it, I promise!)
Right now I am also posting a tragic romance, and a cracked-out and parodied version of the possible events that will occur in the Season 6 finale.
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Unnecessary disclaimer: None of the characters appearing in the TV show "House, M. D." belong to me.
Abstract: It was a usual day in the Diagnostics Department…. or was it? House/Cameron friendship, one-shot.
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It was a usual afternoon in the Diagnostics Department. Cameron was opening House's mail, Foreman was doing House's clinic hours, and Chase had fallen asleep atop his crossword.
Cameron glanced up from the mail when she saw movement out of the corner of her eye. House, on the other side of the glass wall, was waving wildly at her. Cameron rolled her eyes, but headed in to see him.
"What is it?" she asked.
House shushed her enthusiastically. "You're going to wake him!" he whispered, pointing towards Chase in the other room.
Cameron looked at him incredulously. "Why does it matter?" she asked softly.
"Just don't," House said with an exaggerated eye roll. "Agent, I have a mission for you," he added. "Do you accept?"
"Oookay…" Cameron said, unsure.
"Perfect. But first, we need codenames." He mused. "I'm going to be Agent Danger. You can be Agent…" he thought for a minute. "Vixen," he decided.
She looked at him skeptically. "Agent Vixen? That's a hooker name."
"It suits you," House responded snidely.
Cameron sighed, but decided to roll with the punches. "So… what's the mission, Agent Danger?"
"Secure for me two of those hair… things," House said, waving a hand at her ponytail.
Cameron gave him an odd look, but complied. "Two hair ties? Got it."
She turned to leave. "Agent Vixen," House whispered loudly to her as she was at the door. "Let no one see you. No one must know of this mission, especially not the enemy."
"The enemy?" she asked.
"She of the extremely large ass," he clarified.
"Got it." Cameron rolled her eyes and slipped out the door.
She swiftly headed down to a faraway stairwell that was rarely used. She felt silly, but was glad to be included in House's game. She just hoped that this wasn't a game that would get her in too much trouble with Cuddy. She didn't hold out much hope in that regard.
Cameron arrived at her locker a few minutes later and placed the needed items in a makeup bag. She threw in a hairbrush for good measure. She headed sneakily back up to House's office.
"Do you have the loot?" he asked. Cameron tossed him a small bag.
He looked inside. "Perfect," he said with a grin.
"Perfect for what?" Cameron asked.
House motioned for her to follow him as he opened the door to the conference room. He headed over, limping silently without his cane, to stand behind Chase.
Finally it dawned on Cameron what was going on and she covered her mouth to prevent a laugh. House looked at her disapprovingly.
He set the bag carefully down on the table and pulled out a hair tie. He attempted to gently create a small ponytail of Chase's blond locks, but failed miserably.
Chase stirred slightly. Both agents froze in their places, only daring to breathe once Chase was clearly not going to wake.
House reached for the hair once more. "House," Cameron whispered.
"Agent Danger," he corrected.
"Agent Danger," Cameron repeated, "Allow me."
House took a step to the side and handed the hair tie to Cameron.
Cameron pulled out the hairbrush and deftly coaxed Chase's hair into pigtails with ease as House looked on.
Cameron's eyes lit up. "Wait here," she said. "I have an idea."
House rolled his eyes, but waited impatiently.
Cameron came back a couple minutes later with some bright pink curled ribbon. House looked at her in admiration. "I've taught you well, Agent Vixen," he whispered proudly.
Cameron leaned over Chase to tie on the ribbon. "There we go," Cameron said as she finished. When she looked at her work, she started giggling. Chase just looked so absurd!
"Shut up, he's waking up!" House whispered urgently.
They both froze in place as Chase stirred, Cameron trying to muffle her giggles.
When Chase stopped moving, House handed her the makeup bag. "Hide the evidence."
Cameron nodded her consent and headed back to her locker. When she arrived back at Diagnostics, Cuddy was in House's office.
"New patient," she said, ready to wage her battle to force House to take the patient.
House grabbed the file eagerly out of her hand. "Just in time!" he responded.
Cuddy stared for a minute, but House made no joke, only opened the file. She left the office with a confused and suspicious look on her face.
Cameron sat in the chair across from House as he flipped through the file. "Boring, but it'll do," he said.
Cameron looked at him with a questioning look, but he just smiled conspiratorially. "Time to wake Chase!"
House strode over to the conference table and whacked Chase with the file. "Rise and shine, princess, we have a patient!"
Chase slowly lifted his head, disoriented. "Here, you go greet the patient and get a history." He handed the file to the still-drowsy Chase.
Chase stood and headed to the door. "Come on, Cameron," House said, following Chase.
The three of them made their way to the patient's room. Chase looked around, unnerved. People were staring at him. He didn't have time to figure out why; House would have his ass on a platter if he didn't do as he said right away.
They reached the patient room, and greeted a six-year-old girl and her parents. The girl giggled. "You look silly," she said to Chase.
"Well, that's not very nice," House cut in. "He's different. He's from Australia." Cameron could hardly stifle her laughter.
Chase completed the history with odd looks from the parents and giggles from the child. By the time he was finished, his cheeks were burning. He noticed even more stares as he headed out of the room.
"Okay, what the hell is going on?" he demanded.
Cameron took pity on him and decided to give him a clue. "Find a mirror, Chase," she said with a giggle.
House and Cameron could hear his angry cry from outside the men's restroom. They burst into peals of laughter and headed quickly back to House's office, not wanting to be in Chase's vicinity.
Chase stormed out in a huff and nearly ran down the hall to the elevators.
Cuddy looked out her office at a prime moment to see a red-faced Chase run past and out to the parking lot. She sighed and started calculating how many more clinic hours she could force House to do as penance.
The end of the day was looming. House called Foreman in from the clinic to give the determined treatment to the patient. Cameron finished up House's mail and brought it in.
"Nice work, Agent Vixen," he said with a twinkle in his eyes.
Cameron smiled. "Nice work yourself, Agent Danger. You headed out?" She inclined her head towards the door.
House nodded, grabbing his backpack. They walked out together in comfortable silence to take the elevator down.
They arrived in the lobby and had nearly escaped before they heard an angry voice call out, "House!"
House and Cameron cringed at the exact same moment. They were caught. "Time to face off against the evil one," House stated.
Cameron nodded sagely. "Best of luck, Agent Danger," she said, and bolted out the front doors.
House stared after her in consternation and a hint of admiration. Now who could he force to take the blame?
"House!" He heard the angry call again. House sighed and gathered his wits about him.
Time to wage the never-ending war of fun versus evil.
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